I'm Telling You, It's Fate

Master GD and I are meant to be together. Really, we are. It's just a matter of time before it happens.

I've posted before how astrology is on our side, saying that we make an excellent love match. Apparently I am also the GD Whisperer.

But there are two more little tidbits of interesting information that further prove that we're meant.

In "V.I.P.," Ji clearly says my name. Yeah, it might sound like he's saying "Seungri's V.I.P.," but if you listen closely, that's not what he says. Okay, I know that is what he says. I don't honestly believe he says my name, because the song is like two years old and unless Ji has been online stalking me for the past few years, I know it's purely coincidence. But it sounds incredibly similar to my name and therefore I'm just going to pretend that he does say my name.

Listen to "V.I.P." It's right after the 2:23 mark.

Another little interesting tidbit of info ... see that little freckle on his right cheek?


See it?

Did you know that every single guy I have ever dated has that freckle? In the same location on the right cheek. Every. Single. Guy. Not saying I've dated a bajillion guys or anything like that. I've had two long term relationships and a few in betweens, but the point is they've all had that freckle.

I told you. It's meant to be.

And you know that today is the last day for the BIGBANG "Let Me Hear Your Voice" campaign on YouTube. Which means that within the next few weeks, the guys will be watching all the submissions, (which also means that Sex God will see your birthday tweets!) and in the info on the video I submitted [on behalf of you all] there is a link to this blog and to my Twitter.

You think they'll click those links?

Hmmm ... maybe it'll be sooner than later that I'll become the most hated woman in the entire K-Pop community. It's only a matter of time.


Hello, Leeteuk's Pecs!

I am so glad some of the Super Junior boys decided to strip you, babe, and hose you down with water at Super Show II in Thailand.


Leeteuk, why would you cover those abs? I need to see them. I know they exist. They have to. Because you have pecs, babe. And if you have pecs, you most definitely have abs. It's like the rule of body building, just common knowledge.

Why are you teasing us? You know we want to see them. We need to see them. Well, I need to see them. Everyone else just wants to see them.

You know what? When we're married, once every few weeks, lets have a water gun fight. Because not only will it be fun and produce mass amounts of laughter, but we can use our marital bedsheets to dry ourselves off.

I don't know how well that'll work, though. We'll no doubt get sweaty and I don't think the sheets can soak up that much liquid.

An endless cycle.


Say Whaaat?


Mir: I'll show you cute, TKPA!

Thunder: Whatcha guys doin? Oh, look! A camera!

Lips of Sex: Thunder, bro ... you're a bit too close. Personal space, man. Personal space.

Antonio Jung: Mir, why are you so fucking weird?

Sex Apprentice: Is my hair okay? Believe it or not, this isn't my good side. I still look fucking amazing, don't I?



Here's the Deal

I'm fucking tired.

I'm mentally and physically exhausted. I worked thirty-six hours this past week. I worked the midnight/early morning hours of Black Friday. I had to deal with family this past week. I had to go through my second Thanksgiving without my father, so it was a very emotional holiday for me. It has been an incredibly rough week for me and I do not have a day off until Wednesday. All I want is to cry and pass out, that's how drained I am.

I know that pretty much everything I posted earlier in the week has sucked. But I warned you about this. I told you that until I become adjusted to this new schedule of mine, things are going to suck but I'll post the TKPA-styled entries you love when I can. You all have been completely understanding of this ... but again, there's an issue with commenting.

Last night I posted nine entries. Nine entries that I had been mentally preparing during the week, jotting down little, barely legible notes on my neon green post-it notes while I was on break at work. It's not like I just sit at my computer and come up with all of this off the top of my head. The general idea and topics I think of beforehand. So even when I'm away from my computer, when I'm doing my "real life" thing, I think of all of you and I try my hardest to come up with posts that you'll love.

The comments you all left last night were great, really ... but did you know that collectively there were 454 link clicks, yet there were only 76 comments?

Do you see the problem there? Do you see how that's kind of like a little slap in the face towards me and the hardwork I put in this past week for the blog?

Yes, I do know that some of you read it on your phone and cannot comment right away. I understand that some people cannot comment as soon as they read it. I'm not expecting a mass flooding of emails in my inbox notifying me of new comments. There is no rush on it, but I am tired of people reading and not commenting, not talking to me via Twitter.

So here's the deal ...

Every time you read a post (and I mean every time, no matter who you are), leave a comment. If I don't start receiving more comments, I'm either going to stop writing completely or I'll just disable all comments for all future posts.

I am not some random, faceless person. I love writing, in general and about these K-Pop men. But as much as I love it, I will give it up if the hardwork isn't appreciated.

I do want to say thank you to all of you who do comment on a regular basis, who participate and send me emails with pictures for certain blog features, and who talk to me via Twitter. Thank you to all of you who say that reading my posts make your day and that this blog is your favorite K-Pop blog. Really, that means so much to me and I want you to know that you are excluded from this post. I know who you all are and I love you just as much as I love my K-Pop boys.

This post is dedicated and directed toward all of you silent readers out there. 

Oh, and comments for this post are disabled. Go find another post to spam.

The K-Pop Addict

Important Announcement!

The time for G-Dragon's trending topic has been changed!

It's now going to be at:

South Korea - December 5, 2:00 PM
Australia (New South Wales) - December 5, 4:00 PM
Malaysia - December 5, 1:00 PM
United Kingdom (England) - December 5, 5:00 AM
United States (EST) - December 5, 12:00 AM
United States (PST) - December 4, 9:00 PM

I'm so sorry for the change in this but I have a VERY good reason as to why I decided to postpone it three hours.

I have to work that night (Friday) and I am not scheduled to leave until 10:30, which really means closer to 11. By the time I actually get home, it'll be close to midnight. If I were to keep it at the originally scheduled time, I'd be missing four hours of it. And that just plain sucks.

Hopefully this works out a lot better. I'm so sorry for this, guys! Really, I am!

(Note: I've changed all the times on the posts as well, so there will be no confusion! Email me if you have any questions!)

Also, while I am at work, TKPJ will be counting down and getting you all pumped up and ready to go! You MUST follow her on Twitter (@koreanpopjunkie)!



Pyragon is About to Resurface


If pictures of Master GD holding a baby keep circulating the internet, Pyragon is going to be around 24/7. Ji-Yong will not do any photoshoots, any press conferences, any radio shows, television shows. No concerts, no music videos, no studio recording.


He will be in his bed, in his apartment, naked. I will be with him, either underneath or on top. That just depends on the moment.

Cell phones will be off. Computers will be unplugged and internet disabled (which means no blog posts). Television remotes will be hidden. No contact with the outside world. At all.

I am taking this man hostage and you will not see him until I am impregnated with his child.

And even if he knocks me up with the future Baby Kwon on the first try with unprotected sex ... well, symptoms don't start to show until like six weeks into it, so it's not like he'll be in hiding for a day. When he does show his beautiful face in public again, that means that the One Eyed Dragon's venom did the trick.

Don't hate me, though. Don't come after me with pitchforks and plan to tar and feather me in the street. It's not nice to hit/torture/abuse/kill a pregnant woman. It's frowned upon in most societies and I don't think Ji-Yong will be too accepting of you hurting his baby mama.

You can't hate me because it will make him upset. And you don't want to do that, do you? (If you say yes, you're evil).


Happy Trails to You, Beastly Maknae


I just love the discovery of a happy trail, don't you?

Again, I'm not usually a happy trail lover ... but with the onslaught of them from the K-Pop male idols as of late ... I'm beginning to change my mind.


I've Been Laughing My Ass Off

At this picture of Master GD from his Vogue spread.


His facial expression is just freaking priceless. He looks confused/horrified, as if to say, "What do you mean TKPA isn't coming to watch me during this photoshoot?"

Or as if to say, "What the fuck do you mean they sold out of the Lanvin shoes I wanted?!"

Yeah, it's definitely the second one, because we all know that I'd be kicking the hoebag modeling with him (who I cropped out, thankyouverymuch) out of the way and taking her spot. Like I want some skankoid hanging all over my future baby daddy and owner of my soul. Hell no.

I don't know why I find this so damn hilarious. I think it's because I'm sleep deprived.

I wish I could say that Pyragon is the reason I have been lacking sleep as of late, but unfortunately, the only thing I've been cuddling the past few nights is my pillow. It's not the same. I know Ji is feeling the TKPA withdrawl. Sorry, babe.

All I can say to comfort you is that I'm currently saving up money to fly to Seoul so we can cuddle all we want. And maybe we can work on procreating Baby Kwon?


L-O-L-tastic 2PM

What can I say about this? There's just too much going on all at once for me to even write about, but I'll do my best to break it down, TKPA-style, one member at a time.


Wooyoung and Sexy Beast Taek are in the background acting like dorks and dancing like white boys.

Eight Pack Abs Jay realizes how idiotic they look and tries to back away with that little dance move so they don't notice. Good one, Jay.

Nichkhun is sad that I noticed SBT and Woo and Jay first, but then he perks up and winks and blows me a kiss. The wink is the code that we have to meet for dinner and dessert (aka, mindblowing sex). After all, we have to work on procreating a mixed baby.

Big Booty Junee and Junsu want me to pay more attention to them, thus the ripping of the shirt right off their bodies. Very nicely done, guys. You have my full attention.

Beastly Maknae knows how to take control of that TKPA-spotlight, though. You see how nonchalantly he unzips his shirt, flashes those pecs and abs, and gives a little grrr-face? Bravo, maknae. Bravo.


Oh, This is Just Unfair

Why would you do this to me, K-Pop Gods? Is this some form of cruel and unusual punishment?

I mean, really ... making Eli, whom I am currently digging something insanely hardcore, pose in a photoshoot with Jailbait DongHo is unfair.

By the way, that is Jailbait's hand on his lips, not Eli's.
I felt like I needed to clarify that little fact.


Why would you do this to me, K-Pop Gods?

It's like Eli is instructing DongHo how to make me want him. And I can't want him because he's fifteen. That's just unfair, Eli. After I just offered to measure how wide your hips are, any time no questions asked, you're going to do this to me? What the hell is that about, love?


Why are you fifteen, Jailbait? I know I've been over this before, and I hate repeating myself, but it just isn't fair that you look like that and you're fifteen. Freaking fifteen. There should be a law that any idol under the age of eighteen should be made to look like a freaking hobbit by the evil, corrupt stylists. Once they are legal, they can finally become hot.

Totally the ugly duckling syndrome.

Unfair. Unfair. Unfair.


Mmm, Eli ...


You're so damn hot. Like ... really hot. Not so much with the blonde hair. You look infinite amounts better, sexier, hotter, and all around scrumptious with black hair. But you're still pretty damn hot with the blonde.

You know what I'm currently loving the most about you, Eli? Your seemingly broad shoulders and wide torso. Just delicious. I'm willing to bet that your hips are wide, as well. I'd love to find out if they are. And you know there's only one way to actually measure how wide hips are, right?

My thighs are an excellent measuring device, babe. You can come over any time you want to know the exact number.


Birthday Spotlight

This is incredibly belated by three days ...

I did not forget about you, Kevin. I did remember that you turned eighteen on the 25th. And I believe I promised that I'd soon start writing dirty about you, didn't I?

Doesn't this just look like he's posing on bed, looking over at you, undressing you with his amazing mental powers? Yeah, Kevin can totally make your clothes pop off with just one glance. That's the benefit of no longer being jailbait.



Thank the K-Pop Gods you are now eighteen and fully legal, boo. There is a lot of dirrrtiness in your future.


Jungsoo's Guns


Just look at those babies. Kind of surprising, no?

I mean, I've always known Leeteuk had guns. I've always seen the luscious, addicting sex appeal that surrounds his entire existance. That's not a shock to me. It might be for some, though. Some people are oblivious to his angry sexiness.

Good, keep it that way. He's mine. Back off, bitches.

No, seriously, though ... he clearly has guns. And if he has guns, I have to wonder if he has abs. I know they won't be along the lines of King of Foreplay or Sex Apprentice or Eight Back Abs Jay. They'll more than likely be along the lines of Master GD's skinny abs, but I need to see those ripples.

I swear I really will buy a plane ticket to Seoul once I see them. I mean it.


Sungmin? Is That You?

You're looking ...

... kind of ...

... sexy.


I can't believe I just said that.

I've never found Sungmin to be sexy before. Moreso cute and cuddly and like a little fluffy white bunny rather than a sex panther. But damn boy, you surprised me. And what's that thing you have hiding in your crotch-region, Minnie?

Mmm, I love a great angry-sex face. It's nice to know that the resident cutie of Super Junior has one. Let's work on trimming that hair a bit, though. Okay, boo?



To Get You Through the Weekend


Mmmm ... Rain.

Isn't this just beautiful? Those abs and hip dips are divine. I can't decide which part of his body I want to lick and kiss first.

Bicep? Tricep? Forearm? Abs? Outer abs? Outer-outer abs? Hip dips? Something hiding in his pants?

I guess I'll just have to bounce around and switch the order up. Keep him on his toes.

Have a great weekend!

PS--Go see Ninja Assassin (if it's available in your country) this weekend. I saw it and it's amazing. Very violent and bloody, but Rain did an amazing job, as well as Joon. Awesome movie. Go see it!


Say Whaaat?


Du Jun: Really? I look like T.O.P? So ... does that mean I'm smolder-sexy too?

Dong Woon: Yeah, I may be a maknae but have you heard my voice? That's not maknae material.

Yo Seob: Don't tell DJ, but I stuck a rubber snake in his bed. He's going to freak!

AJ: Why are you making me hunch over? I'm already shorter than everyone else.

Hyun Seung: All right ... who pissed off the stylists?! Seriously, we look ridiculous.

Jun Hyung: What the fuck is up with your hair, bro?



Meat Market


Sex Apprentice was chosen today not only because it's the day of his movie debut, but also because the poor baby has been diagnosed with H1N1. Which means we cannot lust over his abs until he recovers from it and the ankle injury. (Are you doing this to punish us, Sex Apprentice?)

I give him a perfect 10, because every time he lifts that shredded shirt and gives that cocky grin, I fall in love with him all over again. TKPJ gives the abs a 9. If only you could see the look I just gave her.

1 – Did absolutely nothing for me
3 – Ehh, I've seen better
5 – Definite potential, but not my cup of tea
8 – Jaw-dropping
10 – Self-combustion

You know the deal, either comment or tweet me your rating and at the end of day, Joonie will be judged. You have until midnight!

END RESULT: Joon came out with a perfect 10!



TKPA v. TKPJ ... For Real This Time

  • Intro
  • "Get it right, get it straight."
  • Who are we?
  • Donghae is TKPA's baby daddy!
  • TKPJ's nicknames for Super Junior
  • TKPA is better than Microsoft Word
  • The fight for Kyuhyun
  • Apparently the blog is stalkerish
  • More Kyuhyun fighting
  • No pre-marital for Siwon ... or Tae
  • The King of Foreplay's Scepter
  • Ridiculous questions
  • TKPJ's Armageddon accent
  • More ridiculous questions
  • Dance off: TKPJ v. Jokwon
  • Tequila Fest
  • Back off T.O.P., TKPJ
  • The pretzel pose?
  • TKPJ has something against SeungHo
  • "Whatever, shut up."
  • Netizens are scary
  • How we'd dress the male idols
  • Hi to my 12-year-old reader
  • Don't tell me your age
  • Floorplay?
  • How can TKPJ mention Japan when we're talking about Koreans?
  • Go to Village Inn
  • Kimchi is not for us Westerners
  • Ling ding dong
  • What's your favorite zoo animal?
  • The reason TKPA doesn't talk dirty about Super Junior
  • 2PM is like a casual fling
  • BIGBANG is just a one night stand
  • TKPJ sounds like Minnie Mouse, TKPA sounds like a Valley Girl
  • Thank you
  • Trend for G-Dragon and Se7en
  • Follow TKPJ
  • Shout outs!
  • J, you don't have to worry.
Open this link in a new window and download it (that way you can follow along with the nifty little outline above!). Enjoy :)

The K-Pop Addict
The K-Pop Junkie

TKPA v. TKPJ: The Outtake

Enjoy ... more coming soon ...

Kyuhyun is So Yummy

I love this man. He's so incredibly gorgeous and sexy. And damn are his lips plump and juicy.


Beautiful. Kind of resembles God of Lips and Lips of Sex, huh? They all must have the same great-great-great grandfather that passed on luscious lip genes.

I'm glad that Dirrrty Geek is my boyfriend. Yes, my boyfriend. I even placed him in that category. Some might say that I won't be able to tolerate his addiction to Starcraft, but they're wrong. See, I'm a bit of an insomniac myself, so while he's awake in the middle of the night, playing Starcraft and developing zombie eyes, and I'm lying next to him in bed on my laptop blogging for all of you and developing zombie eyes, we'll be insomniacs together.

And then when it's time to go to actually go to sleep, we won't. Instead we'll get naked and we'll act out all of the dirty things I just blogged about while he totally dominates me. By the time we actually cuddle up next to each other, bodies still damp with sex-sweat, we'll only have an hour of sleep before the alarm goes off.

Besides, you know that Kyu would totally blow off playing and watching Starcraft for me. I'm not asking him to give it up entirely or anything like that, but if I were to say, "Kyu, babe, come to bed" all suggestively, he'd look at me, look at his computer, look back at me, look back at his computer, sigh, and then he'd toss me over his shoulder, freely and willingly taking me back into the bedroom to dominate me. Because doesn't he just look like the type to dominate in bedroom activities?

I'm telling you ... you gotta watch out for those maknaes.

In short ... Kyuhyun in my boyfriend. Sorry, TKPJ.



G-Dragon and Se7en as Trending Topics!

This post is just general details for both of these trending topic missions, just so we're all on the same page! I'm going to try to make this as specific as possible, but if you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask!

G-Dragon's TT

When We're Doing This:
South Korea - December 5, 2:00 PM
Australia (New South Wales) - December 5, 4:00 PM
Malaysia - December 5, 1:00 PM
United Kingdom (England) - December 5, 5:00 AM
United States (EST) - December 5, 12:00 AM
United States (PST) - December 4, 9:00 PM
Why We're Doing This:
G-Dragon is holding his first solo concert, so this is our way of celebrating it!

#gdragon and #jiyongshowl

Try to make your tweet pertain to G-Dragon. You can say good luck, "hwaiting," include pictures, videos, whatever you want. The original post can be found here.

Se7en's TT

When We're Doing This:
South Korea - Sunday, December 6, 10:00 AM
Australia (New South Wales) - Sunday, December 6, 12:00 PM
Malaysia - Sunday, December 6, 9:00 AM
United Kingdom (England) - Sunday, December 6, 1:00 AM
United States EST - Saturday, December 5, 8:00 PM
United States PST - Saturday, December 5, 5:00 PM

Why We're Doing This:
Not only is Se7en returning to South Korea from his album duties in America, but he'll also be making a special appearance at G-Dragon's concert.

#SE7EN (all caps)

Try to make your tweet pertain to Se7en. You can say good luck, "hwaiting," include pictures, videos, whatever you want. The original post can be found here.

General Guidelines That You MUST Follow

1. DO NOT SPAM! Your tweet should not (I repeat, SHOULD NOT) look like this:

#gdragon #gdragon #gdragon #gdragon OR
#jiyongshowl #jiyongshowl #jiyongshowl #jiyongshowl OR
#jiyongshowl #gdragon #jiyongshowl #grdragon OR
#gdragon #SE7EN #gdragon #SE7EN



The way trending topics work is for a mass amount of people to tweet the same hash-tag at the same time. If you start doing it earlier than the designated time ... it'll be pointless and it will not make trending topics, which is what we want! Also, please don't start tweeting for Se7en on the 5th. We'll get to him the next day, but focus on one man at a time.


I've been promoting G-Dragon's TT for almost a month now, but it's never too late to start spreading the word. The more people we have doing this, the more successful it will be!


It will not show up in trending topics if your account is set to private! Just unlock it for the time being and as soon as you are done tweeting for the day/night, you can reset it to private.


Because that is also spam, and spam is unwated. Do you think they deserve spam? No, they don't.

These guidelines have been followed previously for making T.O.P, Taeyang, and Dara a trending topic, so they've been proven to work! Follow them closely!

If you have any questions, please email me and I'll get back to you quickly!

Say Whaaat?


Dirrrty Geek: I have a confession to make. I slept with a fan last night.

Arms of Sex: Don't forget to mention that you did it on my bed.

Dirrrty Geek: I did it on Hae's bed. There, happy?

Abmighty Shisus: That's funny, Kyu. She slept with me hours earlier.

MC: I just wanted to know what you guys thought of the new album ...

Thanks to Valeska (@nengvaleska) for sending in the picture and caption!



This Is Why You Should Talk to Me

Whenever you see me online, talk to me. I mean it. I know I haven't really been on all forms of communication the past week, because I've been super busy. But when you do see me online, don't hesitate.  I only go on those messengers when I am available to chat, so you won't be bothering me!

This is a reason why you should talk to me. I'm funny and I'm nice and I'm actually a little more graphic off the blog.

TKPA: good thing about my job is that when i'm on the floor i have a major OCD tendency and having to keep folding and refolding jeans so i have to crouch down on the floor a lot. yeah, my thighs and butt are going to be so muscular and nice. Ji will love it
TKPA: hahaha
TKPA: fuck they hurt so bad
CJ: you are getting Dae thighs
CJ: GD will call you thighs of pleasure
CJ: ha ha
TKPA: yessss
CJ: that way you can wrap them around his hips & hold him tight
CJ: it will be your GD grip
TKPA: like a python haha
TKPA: a dragon and a python. good combo.
CJ: hmmm we need to combine that some how...like Brangelina
CJ: Dragthon or
TKPA: that sounds like a marathon of drag-queens
CJ: pyragon
CJ: ha ha hahahah
CJ: GD would love that
TKPA: ughhhhh. why you gotta do that? lol
CJ: well ya know he would
TKPA: my python grip will squeeze the cherry-flavored venom outta the dragon
CJ: ha ha you know that's right squeeze those cherries dry!
TKPA: but dragons don't howl, they breathe fire
TKPA: maybe i'll just make him smoke a cigarette
CJ: ha hahah
TKPA: and he can puff little O's out
CJ: i think you bring all of the beasts out of him
TKPA: i bring out the closet freaks in everyone. that's my contribution to the world.

TKPA: i'm sooo putting this convo on the blog
CJ: you should
CJ: I am still thinking of the combo name
TKPA: i like pyragon haha
CJ: yeah like pyromania because you two are a hot combination!
CJ: Fire Fire!!
TKPA: haha beavis & butthead
CJ: that is what I was going for
CJ: ha ha

CJ: your new thighs of steel wrapping around his wide hips -LOTS of friction - FIRE FIRE! Pyragon ignites!!

So, yeah ... Master GD's and my "official couple name" is now Pyragon. Use it lovingly and frequently.

You should definitely talk to me. Contact info is on the sidebar!



Close Call, Lovely


Mixed feelings about this.

On the one hand, your massive ... um ... well ... the One-Eyed Dragon is wanting to make an appearance. You know I'm all for that, really. Maybe the One-Eyed Dragon was getting a little jealous that I did a post all about Sex God's Concealed Weapon and wanted me to pay attention to him and only him.

On the other hand ... yeah, the One-Eyed Dragon needs to show himself to me in private and not make his presence known at an awards show. There's a time and place for everything, babe.

Come on ... you didn't actually think I'd pass up a chance to post this, right?


You've Made Me Incredibly Happy, Master

This is why I bow down to you, Master GD. This is why you own my soul.


While I don't think you read all of BIGBANG Friday, I think you read the first few entries of the day. Probably this one, because it was all nice and I even mentioned GaHo. I think that solidified this new 'do of yours.

I am absolutely in love with this look, love. Really, I was so excited seeing it. Because not only is it fierce and awesome and just totally works on you ... but it's black. I know I accepted your blonde, but I have been not-so-secretly wishing for you to return to your natural, dark roots. I'm so glad you did this. Because I really just want you ten times more than I wanted you before.

And that's a lot of want.

What I find kind of funny is that I've been jokingly saying for maybe three weeks now that you're going to retaliate against me and demand my attention by shaving your head. And you kind of, partially did shave it. You shaved the underlayers.

Oh, man ... just thinking of your hair without the gel and styling products, shagging in your face as you're looking down, dripping with sweat from the vigorous thrusting. Babe, you're going to have to buy me another headboard. I know we're going to completely obliterate it.

Seriously, I should probably invest in a bedroom furniture set that doesn't have a headboard on the bed. The salesmen at Rooms-to-Go love it when I come in once a damn week. I think one of them even bought a new car off the commission they made from my last few purchases.

Ji, try to scream out "TKPA!" when you're performing "Breathe" during your solo concert. Instead of saying, "I know you want it, baby," you should say, "I know you want it, TKPA."

And then I will scrounge up enough money for a plane ticket, fly to Seoul, and beg YG to hire me as your personal assistant/sex slave for ninety days, which is when my American passport will expire and the South Korean government will kick me out of the country.



The GD Whisperer


There is this theory going around that Master GD is reading this blog. There is too much evidence for me and some of my blog-stalkers to think otherwise.

How else do you explain the curls? Those came shortly after my inability to choose between him and Sex God. Actually, I was paying too much attention to Sex God and kind of forgetting about G Baby. That's why the curls came out, folks. He was retaliating. But during that week that I had the skull-splitting sinus headache, Ji knew how bad I was hurting so he kindly rid of those heinous curls to put a smile on my face.

And you know this latest hairstyle he's been rocking that looks amazingly hot on him? Kind of resembles Lips of Sex's hair, no? And he sported that look just one week after I began obsessing hardcore over SeungHo. And apparently he's said that his dream winter date is drinking hot chocolate in front of a fire and snuggling up together in an oversized coat. Yeah, totally wrote about drinking hot chocolate in front of a fireplace with SeungHo in the dead of winter before. Do you think he has it out for Lips of Sex or something?

Also, in the "Tae-Tae Ignited NC-17 Fantasies" post, there were a bunch of comments left between me, The K-Pop Junkie, and CJ (my #1 personal blog-stalker). Summary of our banter is that I live with GD and Sex God and the two are always fighting over me and TKPJ and CJ live next door with Tae and Dae and their pet unicorn, Sparky. Really, you need to read it to understand it, because that just sounds like a fucking acid trip. But if you've seen the MV to "Butterfly" (you know you have) ... you've seen Sparky. The MV came out after that post. Weird, right?

CJ has called me the "GD Whisperer." So, we're going to test this theory out. You've probably noticed that I focused a lot on my Master today, right? It's because I'm tempted to find out what type of miraculous thing he'll do next seeing how I gave him so much love (despite the previous post) today.

Most importantly, I'm going to direct a message to Ji himself:


Yes, come to America. I live in Florida in a relatively quiet town, thirty minutes from the beach. Not many people will know you are even here, so it will be a nice, stress-free vacation in paradise (no, seriously ... tourists call my hometown paradise). I promise that if you ever come to Florida, I will not blog about it. Even though I love my blog-stalkers, I love you even more. And I respect you and your privacy, babe. Even when I finally have proof to my theory that you howl during sex, I will keep it to myself and take it to my grave.

That's how much I love you. I'm willing to keep my big mouth shut. True love, baby.

No, seriously ... if he is reading this or if someone in direct connection to him is reading this, I'd kind of like to know. Because after I reread every dirty thing I've written about him, die of humiliation and come back to life, have a quick panic attack or two, I'd get to work on convincing him to convince YG to bring BIGBANG to America. And you know, I'd also get to work on finding out if the man howls ... but that's something I'll keep a secret.

Because I don't kiss and tell.

Ji-Yong ... please be kind to me in the future. Look, I'm even trying to organize making you a trending topic on Twitter. You don't know what Twitter is, but you should be proud of your future baby mama (i.e. me) for the effort. (CHECK OUT THE TRENDING TOPIC MISSION HERE!) If the frustration and aggravation of it all isn't enough to prove my love to you ... I just simply don't know what else to do.

Give me a sign, babe.



What the fuck is this shit, Master GD? Seriously, what the hell is this?

Why do you do this to me? What have I ever done to deserve this? Okay, true, I obsess over other K-Pop idols. And true, Sex God is also my baby daddy from BIGBANG. But you know that I always come back to you. No matter how much I gush about all my other boys, you know that you own my soul.

So I don't know why you do this. Why whenever I neglect you for even a moment you pull something so ridiculous and heinous like this that makes me want to cry.



Okay, I'll admit that your teeth are fucking beautiful in this and I love your mouth. And yes, I am incredibly glad to see those black roots of yours shining through the blonde. And okay, yeah, I'm also kinda digging your hairstyle. But that's about it. The copper eyeshadow has got to go, damn it! You so need one of those eyebrow combs too.



You made me cry when I saw those. You made my heart shatter in a bajillion pieces. Seriously, you can't even fucking super glue it back together. I mean, I know you like it when I wear nothing but fierce heels in the bedroom, and I know those are actually your favorite that I wear, but did you really have to wear them? Did you really have to be photographed wearing them?


I love you, but stay the fuck out of my closet, babe.


But you know what? I will admit this ... I find this picture insanely hot. I'm not big on the whole facial make-up thing nor the flower-thing behind your ear, and I am actually imagining you half-naked with your skinny abs and wide hips calling out my name, begging to be licked and kissed all over ... but damn it your facial expression, that pissed off, "Bitch, don't fuck with me," look is owning me.

Don't take my criticism too harshly, though, babe. I have one more post for you tonight before ending BIGBANG Friday. I think you'll like that post, boo.

I love you and all ... but I really do think you piss me off on purpose. Truly, I do.


Daesung: G or NC-17?


Well, that depends on your love for Mr. Happy.

Personally, I look at him in a strictly G-rated way. Yet I know others see him in an NC-17 way. That's why I chose the above picture for this post. Because he looks like a Party Boy with that beer and with his laugh. And don't hate me for this (CJ, I'm talking to you), but there is definitely some action going on in those pants. And check out those guns!

This picture has taken both G and NC-17 worlds and combined them into pure awesome. There is a hidden sex factor to Dae-Dae. I can't lust after him. I value my life too much. But I think I can get away with just admiring and appreciating his body, correct?

Yeeeaaah, no.


BIGBANG Captions Part V


Thanks to Mars (@callmemars) for sending in this picture and caption!


Sex Fetish: Sex God


Last month I stated that I believe the #1 Cervix Puncher, Sex God, likes to indulge in role play. Of course, what would a sexual fetish post on T.O.P be without me talking about that in further detail?

The other day on Twitter I had a conversation with a few of my blog-stalkers about how if there was a caveman in a block of ice buried in my backyard, I'd wish for him to look like Sex God. (Encino Man reference, anyone?). Imagine his deep grunts because he doesn't understand the English language, or any language besides caveman-speak. He'd have to express everything in a physical way, and you know that cavemen pretty much only eat, hunt, and club pretty cavewomen over the head and drag them back to their cave.

Sex God doesn't have to be a caveman in order to carry out that little scenario, though. He no doubt already has faux-fur clothing, so all we have to do is turn the temperature down to sixty degrees and only communicate with sex grunts and pointing. I do ask, boo, that you don't club me over the head and drag me into the bedroom. You can throw me over your shoulder instead. I'd like to be conscious while we're getting primal.

Another thing that I have been repeating for a month now is that Sex God likes to pull hair. Yes, he is most definitely a hair puller. I can see that, can't you? He'll just take a big fistful of your hair and yank it soft enough to not pull out any strands and so it doesn't hurt, but hard enough to let you know who was in charge.

Man, I love thinking dirty about him.


BIGBANG Captions Part IV


Master GD: I don't get it. Whenever Young-Bae does this, girls seem to have multiple orgasms simultaneously. What's so special about this? ... Oh, TKPA is giving me a look. I know that look. It's the one she gives me when she wants to rip my clothes off. We have the best sex ever after that. Huh ... maybe this does work after all.

Yes, it does work, babe. Only do that in private, behind closed doors, just the two of us in the room.


Sex Fetish: King of Foreplay


We all know what the King of Foreplay's sexual fetish is. Hello, it's in his name!

Foreplay is a variety of techniques, though. It's an art form and the King is the fucking Da Vinci of it. There's the always toe-curling physical aspect of it. There's the sheer anticipation of the following mattress olympics. And there is also the mental gratification of seeing him perform. Face it, every time he's on stage your body pumps out Baegasms repeatedly for four minutes.

After he's done performing, and he's backstage, sweat dripping down his beautiful face, you will be wanting him. But you can't have him, there are too many people around and you know how Koreans are all shy and polite (i.e. stiff and uptight) in public. You know he'll want to go out to dinner afterward with practically everyone, so you'll have to be on your best behavior for another two hours.

Above the table, at least. Because Tae will no doubt place his hand on your knee and gently and softly rub your thigh. If anyone sees this action, they might think that he's just being loving and tender. But you know that he's subliminally sending you messages that you're going to go at it like wild animals later on.

You might be expecting him to pounce on you as soon as the both of you return home for the evening, but he'll kiss your cheek and say that he wants to take a shower. You'll wait impatiently in bed, and when he surfaces from the bathroom, still dripping wet with a towel wrapped around his waist, he'll kiss every square inch of your body. And then about an hour of foreplay and intense Baegasms will ensue, until you're begging him.

Because he is the King, after all. Kings like hearing their loyal subjects beg.


BIGBANG Captions Part III


Sex God: Yes! TKPA is all mine tonight! I convinced her to let me break another headboard!

Smiling Sex Slave: Oh, daaaamn! Does Ji-Yongie know about this? I'll just dance along with you anyway, because I have this huge sugar rush.

Thanks to Cindy (@fcukuu) for sending in the picture and captioning it!


I'll Take Seungri

I don't understand why some people don't like the Smiling Sex Slave maknae. He's cute and funny. Sure, he might be a little hyper every now and then, and sure, when I watched Intimate Note I wasn't one-hundred-percent sold on him because he whines a little too much for my liking, but he's young.

You're all overlooking the mass potential this boy has. And that's why I say that if no one wants Seungri, I'll take him off your hands.


I will groom him and train him to be the ultimate, steaming sex-pot. He'll be walking, talking, living, breathing sex. I'll teach him how to perfect his smolder sex stare similar to Sex God's, so just looking at the camera with a slight eyebrow raise that lasts a millisecond will send you into a state of want. I'll have him cut back on the whining and enhance the sense of humor, so he'll have you in tears from laughing, rather than tears from why-can't-you-be-mine.

I'll require mandatory training in the gym so his body can surpass the King of Foreplay's. And then I'll make him do every photoshoot half-naked. I'll have him study and watch performances of the King and of Eight Pack Abs Jay ripping their shirts into pieces of fabric.

Of course, I'll also show him how to make a girl's toes curl, in the bedroom and out of the bedroom. Because what kind of teacher would I be to teach him how to be sexy and not teach him all the right tricks in the sack? The worst K-Pop teacher ever.

Fact is, after I'm done with 3S, every time you see him you'll need a cold shower. And I will remind all of you (except for the ones who voted for him in Cervix Punchers) that you didn't want him to begin with.

Seungri, boo ... let's get to work on this ASAP.


BIGBANG Captions Part II


Master GD: Oh, I'll make you "come come," all right. Multiple times. Don't believe me? Let's go back to my place and I'll prove it to you.


A Glimpse Into the Future

You will most definitely be seeing something very similar to this in the future.


Only the future photoshoot will show Master GD holding our little bundle of joy in his arms, and he'll look even more Proud Papa and loving and paternal. Seriously, how adorable is this? He looks so freaking happy just holding a baby that he doesn't even know. And you know how much he loves to show off GaHo, so you can expect to see lots and lots of me2day updates and pictures featuring our baby.

And you know I'm not going to forget about my step-son. No, definitely not. In the future photoshoot with G Baby and Baby Kwon, I'll make sure to demand that GaHo be in one of the pictures with both of them. Can you just picture the cuteness overload? GaHo and his cute little wrinkled face in one arm, Baby Kwon in the other, Ji-Yong with the two biggest loves of his life.


Seriously, my ovaries imploded yesterday when I saw these pictures. Not only is it "awww" provoking and makes you kind of want to head down to Babies R Us and look at cribs, but it's ... sexy in a way. I mean, look at his arms in the first picture. His sex factor is working overtime on me, because not only is it just him in a plain ol' t-shirt (something I'm extremely happy about because I love my men to look relaxed), but he has that baby in his arms.

The downside to the future photoshoot that will take place with Master GD, Baby Kwon, and GaHo? Seeing the finished product, seeing how delicious and sweet and loving he looks would prompt lots of unprotected sex and yet another baby.

And so the cycle shall repeat ...


BIGBANG Captions Part I


King of Foreplay: Can you see my jaw line? Make sure they got my jaw line!

Smiling Sex Slave: Hey, I know how to work it too, TKPA! All eyes on me!

Mr. Happy: Yeah, I will show you "Mr. Happy" alright! Meet you at your hotel room at midnight.

Master GD: I wonder what TKPA is doing today?

Sex God: No clue. But I know what she'll be doing tonight ... ME!

Thanks to CJ (@cjcdae) for sending in the picture and captioning it!



And the Winners Are ...

#5 Donghae, with a total of twelve votes.

I was actually a little surprised at this, because I don't obsess over the sex appeal that surrounds his beautiful existance on this planet on a regular basis. Regardless, I am something hardcore in love with this man and it's not surprising that some of you felt the exact same way.

#4 Taekyeon, with a total of sixteen votes.

If Taek didn't make this list, I'd be extremely upset with you all and I would post an incredibly dirty, dirty post about him and then disable comments so none of you could say how much you wanted him. I don't think I'd be able to handle it if you guys did that. I just might have closed down the blog. Needless to say I'm glad you all are smart people.

#3 G-Dragon, with a total of twenty-three votes.

This is not surprising. I don't even feel like I need to talk about this. There was no doubt in my mind he'd be in the top five.

#2 Taeyang, with a total of twenty-four votes.

He just barely claimed the number two position for himself, but those Baegasms seem to have taken over your minds and uteruses.

#1 T.O.P, with a total of thirty-four votes.

NOT. A. SURPRISE. I knew he'd come out on top.


Cervix Punchers: Almost, But Not Quite

Some of them were tied at the same position, some claim it all for their own. Positions six through ten of the Cervix Punchers is here!

#10 Seungri (4 votes) - I'm impressed. See, Ri-Ri? People do love you and want to have your baby!

#10 Hero (4 votes) - Not surprising, honestly. He's man-pretty.

#10 Junho (4 votes) - I guess that badonkadonk really sits well with you all?

#10 SeungHo (4 votes) - I'm glad that this luscious man and his lips are appreciated.

#10 Heechul (4 votes) - Okay, I don't judge ... but this really surprised the fuck out of me.

#10 Leeteuk (4 votes) - I don't know how to feel about this, truthfully. I'm glad you all find him sexy ... but back off my future hubby, all right ladies?

#9 Kyuhyun (5 votes) - GET IT, KYU!!!

#8 Daesung (6 votes) - Surprising, but not really. I wonder how my blog-stalker CJ is going to feel about this?

#7 Jaebeom (10 votes) - Not surprising. Not at all.

#7 Chansung (10 votes) - I can't blame you for this. Really, I can't.

#7 Joon (10 votes) - Yep, you sure know pure sex when you see it.

#6 Rain (11 votes) - Yes, you most definitely recognize pure sex.

The top five are coming up soon! What do you all think so far?

Don't guess on who exactly made the top five! It's more fun this way!


Cervix Punchers: The Ones Who Didn't Make It

I know that "voting" was supposed to end Sunday, but a lot of you participated in this! I'm so proud. I'm not going to announce the top five yet (because you know I like making you all wait), so stay tuned for that.

These men didn't make the top five, not even the top ten. I'm sorry, lovelies.  

The Ones Who Received One, Lonely Vote:

Zhou Mi
Jun Hyung
Hyun Seung
Yo Seob
Lee Jun Ki
Jang Geun Suk
Kim Bum
Choi Jonghun

The Ones Who Received Two Votes:
Se7en (what the fuck is wrong with you all?)
G.O (seriously?!)
Du Jun
Dong Woon
Junsu (DBSK)
Lee Byung Hun
Nichkhun (crazy ass people)
Junsu (2PM)

The Ones Who Received Three Votes:
Han Geng

Some of them should have received more votes, in my opinion. Others kind of caught me by surprise.

Stay tuned for those who have secured their spots at positions six through ten!


I've Taken a Liking to Jonghyun

I tried avoiding listening to "Ring Ding Dong" when it first came out because everyone was saying it was stuck in their heads and I really don't need another Korean song stuck in my damn head. I did listen. And it is stuck in my head.

But more importantly, Jonghyun is my newest little crush. I'm not totally and one-hundred percent digging him. You all know me, though. In two weeks I'll be posting dirrrty things about him, because it might start out as a slight crush, but it will inevitably develop into something hardcore.


You know what? I take back that last paragraph. I was trying to locate another, better picture of him, when I stumbled upon this. I decided to skip the whole lusting-denying two week period and just post something dirrrty about this nineteen-year-old.


Oh, man. Look at his jaw, his facial expression. It looks like he's moaning into the microphone. Because yes, I'm down there.

Damn this little crush just spun way out of control.


Say Whaaat?


Sex Apprentice: What's that, TKPA? You're going to do what to me when you see me? .... I'm on my way.


To Get You Through the Weekend

Good morning, Sex Apprentice. Last night was amazing, wasn't it? The smile on your face tells me that you really enjoyed yourself. I think I enjoyed you as well, and your abs and your ...


You just relax and drink your morning coffee while I cook you breakfast.


It's just so damn unfair that I cannot find a Korean-American that looks even remotely similar to you.

Have a happy weekend, everyone!



I'm Sorry, I Suck

I didn't post anything today, even though I said I was going to. I didn't finish the post about Lips of Sex, even though I said I was going to.

This isn't even a damn post. It doesn't count, but I'm just kindly reminding you all of the important things that are happening within the next two and a half weeks!

Important Thing #1:

You all [by now] should know that Friday is BIGBANG Friday here on the blog. Sadly, it's too late for you to send me anything. You had plenty of time to send me stuff. Really, you did. Thank you to those who did send in stuff, though! You're awesome!

If you want to read the October edition of BIGBANG Friday, click here. Start at the last page (just keep clicking "Older Entries" 'til you reach "BIGBANG Captions Part I") for the desired effect!

Important Thing #2:

The K-Pop Junkie and I are more than likely [finally] going to meet up next Tuesday, if the K-Pop Gods are on my side and if my new boss is courteous to me when it comes to scheduling for next week's shifts. Which means that we will be bringing you a glorious, bizarre, derranged podcast filled with things that will more than likely make absolutely no sense to you ... but hey, as long as you laugh, right?

Even if we don't meet up, we have a way around it so we will still do this. But you need to send us things you want us to talk about or random-ass questions.

Examples of the random-ass questions we're looking for and examples of [my] bizarre answers:

Q: What would be the dumbest thing to say to your new Korean mother-in-law?
A: Your son totally had me screaming last night. He does this one thing with his tongue .... sooooooo amazing.
Q: What would be the worst place to wake up?
A: In the alley of the "Where U At" set. You know, unless Taeyang was beside me ... naked. Anything with him naked is like freaking Fiji.
Q: If you could go on a date with any K-Pop idol, who would it be?
A: I'm going to pull something unexpected and say ... Kyuhyun. Because he looks like he'd be fun to be around, chivalrous enough to open doors, pull out chairs, etc ... but then he also has that wicked side we'd explore afterward. Back at my place.
Q: If you were invisible for a day, what would you do?
A: Hang out in the dressing rooms backstage at Inkigayo or MusicBank or any of those shows. And then I'd blog about my findings. Because I'm nice like that.

Do you get the point now? Are you going to send us some damn questions now? Because TKPJ tracked down our previous conversation at two in the morning in which we made up a rap about lube. Several raps. She's going to read one or all in a British accent. And while it might seem tempting to not send us anything, please don't make us do it. If you make us do that I'll have to give up blogging for a week. As well as Twitter.

Yeah, you're racking your brain now, aren't you? Email them, damn it. You have 'til Monday.

Important Thing #3:

The deadline for Cervix Punchers is Sunday. If you have not cast your vote yet, you NEED to! So far the results have been very surprising and I cannot wait to read your reactions when I announce who received how many votes (yes, I'll be naming them all as well as the top five men). You can comment HERE or you can email me or let me know via Twitter. [EDIT: I decided to end this early. It will end at 8PM EST tonight (Thursday)!]

Important Thing #4:

GD Day is fast approaching! DECEMBER 5th is when we'll be tweeting #gdragon and #jiyongshowl. You can read ALL of the details and specifics HERE. I will be emailing sites and forums like insane the next few days. If you have emailed any of them and have received a response as to whether or not they'll help, then please let me know so I can include them in the thank you post when we succeed!

Important Thing #5:

ALSO, SE7EN WILL BE MADE A TRENDING TOPIC! You can also read ALL of the specifics and details HERE and please do not hesitate to spread the word as obnoxiously as you would for Master GD! (Oh and let me know who you talk to, as well).

Okay, I know this hardly justifies my lack of posting today, but I needed to cram these down your throat in a nice way before coming insanely obnoxious!

Lots of fun things are coming up! I hope you'll be a part of them (if you haven't participated already!).