11.20.2009

I'll Take Seungri

I don't understand why some people don't like the Smiling Sex Slave maknae. He's cute and funny. Sure, he might be a little hyper every now and then, and sure, when I watched Intimate Note I wasn't one-hundred-percent sold on him because he whines a little too much for my liking, but he's young.

You're all overlooking the mass potential this boy has. And that's why I say that if no one wants Seungri, I'll take him off your hands.

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I will groom him and train him to be the ultimate, steaming sex-pot. He'll be walking, talking, living, breathing sex. I'll teach him how to perfect his smolder sex stare similar to Sex God's, so just looking at the camera with a slight eyebrow raise that lasts a millisecond will send you into a state of want. I'll have him cut back on the whining and enhance the sense of humor, so he'll have you in tears from laughing, rather than tears from why-can't-you-be-mine.

I'll require mandatory training in the gym so his body can surpass the King of Foreplay's. And then I'll make him do every photoshoot half-naked. I'll have him study and watch performances of the King and of Eight Pack Abs Jay ripping their shirts into pieces of fabric.

Of course, I'll also show him how to make a girl's toes curl, in the bedroom and out of the bedroom. Because what kind of teacher would I be to teach him how to be sexy and not teach him all the right tricks in the sack? The worst K-Pop teacher ever.

Fact is, after I'm done with 3S, every time you see him you'll need a cold shower. And I will remind all of you (except for the ones who voted for him in Cervix Punchers) that you didn't want him to begin with.

Seungri, boo ... let's get to work on this ASAP.

TKPA

11 comments:

  1. Hahaha. I thought he was alright. He surprised me when he danced with Lee Hyori but that was about it.

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  2. SO GLAD that i voted for him. ^^

    TKPA! You can't do that!
    The minute you turn him into the perfect sexpot, the rest of them will get all jealous and try to meet that standard and then it will be absolute chaos in the K-Pop world.

    ABSOLUTE CHAOS.

    On the other hand, you would eventually cause the production of a massive horde of perfectly toned, honed and ready-to-get-it-ON Asian men.

    ...ok, maybe you should go ahead and do that then. [lusting at the thought]

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  3. Hey remember TKPA you said we could share RiRi!
    We had a deal!! ;)

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  4. For real. I think we need to start an online petition to YGE, JYPE, SME, J. Tune, and CUBE and demand they hire me as like a PR-sex-consultant. I'll oversee all the stylists and say, "Hell yes," or "HELL NO."

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  5. Niquelachelle11/20/2009 1:45 PM

    Lol umm if Seungri could perform "Strong Baby" everyday for the rest of his life like he did on Big Show then I would consider him. But come on Tae and TOP are in Big Bang so it's easy to get distracted...

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  6. Seungri is the reason I'm into K-pop at all. He just gets better looking with age, kinda like fine wine. But with a MUCH better aftertaste ;P

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  7. Don't judge me! If I named everyone I wanted to have a baby with I would totally slow down the loading of this page...I'm just kidding. Seungri has his moments with me. Sometimes I like him, sometimes I don't. A weird relationship it is. Dae sung's my number one though.

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  8. I totally agree with Zuliebaby! My baby is just going to get better and better.

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  9. i think he's too young for me that's why i don't really fantasize about him. it'll be weird for me to.

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  10. I'm with Cindy he's the same age as my baby brother and is hyperness kind of reminds me of him too.... so thoughts about SeungRi make me feel dirty in a bad way, and not secrectly good bad either.

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  11. I really liked seungri after watching manwon happiness with yoona but then after i fell hard for GD,lol

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