Get the Fuck Over It, Hottests

Dear Hottests,

Jay is gone. Your "leadja" is not returning to 2PM. There will be six members to the group. 7 - 1 does not equal 0, it equals six. A six-membered 2PM does not make them 6PM. Jay is in America. He is home, where he belongs. Boycotting does nothing. Making threats to kill yourself in front of the JYPE building does nothing but make you look like an idiot.

Get the fuck over it and move on.

I will be the first to admit that I would love to see Jay back in the group, but I have also stated from day one that I didn't believe he'd be back anytime soon, if he came back at all. BECAUSE THIS IS THE MUSIC INDUSTRY AND THEY DO NOT CARE ABOUT ANYTHING BUT MAKING MONEY.

Honestly, Jay fucked up. He did. Was it right for all of South Korea to react the way they did? No, absolutely not. But it still doesn't change the fact that he fucked up. Twice, according to the JYPE official statement. I don't know what Jay did, nor do I care. If it's as horrible as everyone is making it out to be, why the hell would you want to know that?

Why are you demanding that what he did be released to the public? You keep saying Hottests deserve to know ... actually, you don't deserve to know. Because that is personal. That is something that impacts Jay's life, Junsu's life, Junho's life, Wooyoung's life, Nichkhun's life, Taekyeon's life, and Chansung's life directly. IT DOES NOT IMPACT YOU. IT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

And even if they did release the reason, how could YOU be so selfish in demanding that? Yeah, that's right. It's selfish of you to demand it. Have you ever thought about what EXACTLY it could be? Have you ever thought that if it is so bad that no one can speak of it, that it could very well DESTROY Jay's life? Are you all really that selfish that you need to satisfy yourself, give yourselves peace of mind rather than hope and pray that whatever it is Jay did will not harm his NEW life in America? If you're all so interested in protecting "Leadja," then shouldn't you be demanding NOT to have this reason released?

Also, this boycott is the stupidest thing ever. Don't listen to them. Go ahead. A six-membered 2PM has actually been doing fine without Jay. You know why? Because they're talented and because rational people recognize that even though they are one less member, their talent has not changed. But go ahead and turn your backs on the men you once loved and obsessed over. Way to claim to be a Hottest.

I honestly don't blame them for saying that 2PM would be better without Jay. Because they have been doing fine without him, and because they have to worry about THEMSELVES and their families and their lives and their futures. Can you honestly blame them for looking out for themselves? Jay screwed up, whatever he did that is so horrendous could also screw up their future. Again, if you claim to be Hottests, you'd be supportive of the future of Junsu, Junho, Wooyoung, Taekyeon, Nichkhun, and Chansung.

I just have to also mention that I heard some people actually talking about committing suicide outside of the JYPE building. I hope that is just a rumor, and nothing serious, because that is the dumbest thing I have ever heard. You're really going to end your life because Jay is not coming back to 2PM? Okay, great. Make ALL SEVEN men live in guilt for the rest of their lives because you're a fucking dumbass.

I will support 2PM. 2PM consists of Junsu, Junho, Taekyeon, Wooyoung, Nichkun, and Chansung. I will not boycott this nor will I sign any petitions against them, so don't bother asking me to even spread the word. With or without Jay, I support 2PM.

With that said, I will also support Jay in whatever he decides to do in life. If he somehow makes it here in the American music industry, I will support him. If he decides to stay out of the limelight and live a quiet life in Seattle, then I will support him. If you love him as much as you claim you do, you'd do the exact same thing.

7 - 1 = 6

Oh, and feel free to unfollow me on Twitter or leave hate comments below. It doesn't bother me. You've all asserted your feelings and opinions VERY strongly since September. I feel I should be able to do the same.

And then there is part two of this post ...


I've Missed You, Lips of Sex


I'm back, SeungHo. Back to cater to your every need and desire. I can tell by the way you're licking and biting your lips that you are excited I am back. I know you've missed me just as much as I have missed you, bb.


And even though I have listened to MBLAQ a disgusting amount while I have been away, I have not been paying attention to those Starburst lips. I know you love that more than anything, the way I go crazy seeing you slide your tongue slowly out of your mouth, glide it along that plump, juicy bottom lip, pull your lip back inside your mouth, then gently bite down on it with those massive pearly whites of yours.


Oh, man. I need to stop. Just that little move of yours is orgasm-inducing all on it's own. If you work on your sex stare, you can have the entire female population doing whatever you want. I mean, we'll do it anyway because we love you and because just the possibility of having those lips on our bodies is worth committing murder ... but with that sex stare and those Starburst lips?

Oh, there will be a lot of female serial killers. Yes.



Yes, that's right. SEX GOD FLESH!


Just look at it. Look at that non-flab, semi-toned body. It looks wet. Like he just got out of the shower and threw on that white robe.


Are your retinas burning? Mine are.

I am so surprised that Sex God would actually show his body in anything less than two layers. We all know how that man likes to cover himself up and make us wonder and imagine what is underneath all that cotton mystery. It's kept many of us tossing in turning in our beds at night, hoping and praying to the K-Pop Gods that he is no longer flabby and just ....

Well, he'll never be along the lines of King of Foreplay, but we've come to expect that. We know that's asking for too much.

This? Perfect.

Relax, lovelies. You can sleep peacefully tonight knowing that Sex God's body is pretty damn sexy and amazing, just like his face. And his voice. And him in general.

Thanks to @xAmyAshx for the tip!

PS -- There's question as to whether or not this is real. I say who cares? Enjoy it and think dirty about it.


And the Winners Are ...

#5 Jaebeom, with a total of twelve votes.

Jumping from #7 to #5 isn't bad. It's amazing how your lust and obsession for this man still hasn't faded. But I know you've been watching countless clips of Eight Pack Abs Jay grinding and I know whenever you listen to "All Night Long," you're thinking of him and how that song was made for him to perform to. Who knows? Maybe he does dance to it. In his bedroom. In front of his mirror. In his underwear.

#4 Taeyang, with a total of fourteen votes.

In November, the King of Foreplay was #2 with twenty-four votes. True, it was right after "Where U At" and "Wedding Dress," where he was just ovary-exploding-sexy ... but still, the amount of wavering love your cervix has shown this King is sad. It's okay, Tae-Tae. I still love you.

#3 G-Dragon, with a total of fifteen votes.

#3 last time, #3 this time. We don't know what the hell it is about this guy, but our ovaries know what's up. That's all that matters.

#2 Taekyeon, with a total of twenty votes.

In November, he was #4. I blame the ripping-of-the-shirt-and-revealing-abs performance(s), the busting through ice all angry-sexy, the giant sex scream, and of course him saying, "Shhhh." You win, Sexy Beast Taek. YOU WIN.
#1 T.O.P, with a total of twenty-seven votes.

You knew it, I knew it. I swear it will be a cold day in K-Pop Hell when this man is not number #1.

Voting will come back in May! Thanks for voting, and if you didn't ... well, you suck!



Cervix Punchers: Almost, But Not Quite (February)

I really need to work harder to pervert your minds. This shit is getting ridiculous.

#10 Donghae (5 votes) - What. The. Fuck. In November, you were our beloved Fifth Cervix Puncher. You had twelve votes. And now you have five. I'm so sorry, Hae baby. I want to cry knowing that you are going to stalk this blog to see if your rank increased any, only to find that you have fallen. Don't worry, boo. These bitches won't know what hit them come May.

#10 Nichkhun (5 votes) - Okay, I'm impressed a bit, considering you only had two votes last time around and were #12. I thought you should have received more last time too. Glad some people came to their senses.

#9 Rain (6 votes) - I think the Ninja Assassin hype died down a bit, and Rain's glorious sweaty abs have not been thrusted at us on a daily basis. Yes, I'm sure that's it. Considering you were #6 last time with eleven votes. (Sidenote: Ninja Assassin DVD is coming out in mid-March!)

#8 Junsu (7 votes) - Okay, all the 2PM promotions and incredibly sexed up performances really boosted you. #12 with two votes last time to breaking the top ten? Good job, good job. Keep it up!

#7 Joon (8 votes) - WHAT. THE. FUCK. YOU DROPPED YOUR NUMBER OF VOTES FOR THIS LUSCIOUS MAN WITH THAT COCKY ASS GRIN. I mean, he's still #7, but he received two less votes. Blasphemy. Absolute and complete K-Pop blasphemy.

#6 Changsung (9 votes) - I know it's weird how Beastly Maknae received ten votes last time and was #7, but now he's only had nine votes and is at #6. But he's totally deserving of this. Yes, he most definitely is.


Cervix Punchers: The Ones Who Didn't Make It (February)

There have been some MAJOR changes in the past three months. So much that I have to tell you what these men received last month in terms of rank and number of votes received. You're probably going to hate yourself for not remembering one of them. And you should hate yourself.

How dare you forget about them!

These boys didn't even make the top ten. Shame, shame, shame.

Example: Idol name - November rank / November votes

The Ones Who Received One, Lonely Vote (Rank #14):

Seungri - #10 / 4  (What the hell?!)
Sungmin - #12 / 2
Jonghyun - #11 / 3
Soohyun - #13 / 1
Du Jun - #12 / 2
Dongwoon - #12 / 2
Key - #13 / 1
Jinwoon - #13 / 1
U-Know - #11 / 3
Yesung - #11 / 3
Zhou Mi - #13 / 1
Jokwon - Newbie
Jay-Kim - Newbie
Tablo - Newbie

The Ones Who Received Two Votes (Rank #13):

Minwoo - Newbie
Heechul - #10 / 4
Mir - Newbie
Max - #12 / 2
Han Geng - #11 / 3
Onew - Newbie
Leeteuk - #10 / 4
Eunhyuk - #12 / 2
Kyuhyun - #9 / 5 (I will pimp you out harder, Kyu!)
Micky - #13 / 1
Xiah - #12 / 2

The Ones Who Received Three Votes (Rank #12):

Se7en - #12 / 2
SeungHo - #10 / 4
Minho - Newbie

The Ones Who Received Four Votes (Rank #11):

Junho - #10 / 4
Siwon - #12 / 2
G.O - #12 / 2
Eli - Newbie
Wooyoung - #12 / 2
Daesung - #8 / 6  (I think @cjcdae's threats have paid off)
Hero - #10 / 4
YongHwa - Newbie

Shocking. Totally shocking.

Your ovaries are cruel, cruel organs.


The Dearly Departed

These delicious men sadly, unfortunately, did not make the February edition of the Cervix Punchers. They received zero votes.

Seriously. Zero votes. What the hell is up with that?

I feel entirely responsible for this, as my perversion on your brains has been ridiculously absent.

I'm sorry, boys. I'll work harder to get you back on the list in May and back to making the vagus nerve go spastic.

AJ (Seriously, how could you not make the cut?!)
Lee Byung Hun
Jun Hyung (You heartless bitches)
Hyun Seung
Yo Seob
Lee Jun Ki
Jang Geun Suk
Kim Bum
Choi Jongun



Again, late to the game, but shut up I'm blogging aren't I?



So happy, so happy, so happy, so happy!


Sex God you have completely washed away all of the seething anger I have toward Master GD and his ridiculous choice of a hairstyle. Then again, knowing you and our on-again, off-again love, you probably encouraged him to do that to his hair. That's okay, you totally won me over with your chess-moves, bb.

Spock ears are back! Spock ears are back! No more derranged Edward Scissorhands!


How Adorkable Are They?


I just want to pinch their cute little rookie cheeks so hard!

Pinching not limited to facial area ...

I missed gushing over my MBLAQ babies. I missed it so much I decided to caption this picture.

Mir: TKPA! You're back! Ummm, we didn't expect you back so soon! You kinda caught me off guard.

Lips of Sex: I'm so happy you're back. Now I get to regularly read about how plump and Starburst-like my lips are.

Antonio Jung: Why are we putting our fingers together?

Thunder: You mean you're finally back? No way! I don't believe it!

Sex Apprentice: Hey, LoS. She might write about your lips a lot, but we all know whose cocky grin and abs make her lose her mind.

Hellloooooo, Jinon!


Ladies and gentlemen reading this blog ... we need a moment of silence to honor this luscious, tan Korean.


Moment over. Dirrrty time.

I know I'm late in vocalizing my absolute lust and oh-my-fucking-God feelings toward rookie Jinon, but there is no such thing as being late when it comes to the rookie group F.Cuz's leader. Well, unless you have a crazy one night stand with him and then you're "late" a month later ... but even then it's not a bad thing. Because that one-night-stand, unplanned baby would have half of Jinon's gene pool.

And plus ... you'd probably be poking a hole in the condom before he puts it on, anyway. Don't deny it. You know you would.

But DAMN this boy kills me. He has a bit of a smolder stare going on. And he's a rapper. And his voice is kind of deep and raspy when he raps. And you all know how much I love all three of those things, but when they're combined?


Jinon, Jinon, Jinon ... my new rookie love (sorry Lips of Sex and Sex Apprentice. And Jun Hyung). I can't wait to see more of you. Raspy voice and smolder stare and all.


I Know I've Been MIA, Master GD ...

But this is freaking ridiculous.


What the HELL is that atrocious thing you call a hairdo? No, really, lovely ... what is that?

I really don't appreciate you doing this to me, Master GD. We all know you tend to get a little jealous when my attention is not fully on you and I'm not worshipping/lusting/drooling over you and only you ... and yes, you're probably very pissed off that I am now in a very committed relationship, and therefore I my worshipping/lusting/drooling over you must be decreased to the bare minimum ...


Just because I took a little blogging hiatus doesn't mean I wasn't paying attention to you and your sneaky ways.

Shisus, I would much rather have the blonde back. I demand it back, actually. I want this so bad:


But not the curls. Fuck no. Those Goldilocks need to go down in K-Pop history as the worst hairstyle ever, alongside 2PM's palm trees.


If you love me even a smidgen still, G Baby, then you will bring this look back. Because I still love you. After all, I am the GD Whisperer. You cannot break the connection we have, bb. Heinous hairstyle or not.


Please bring back the unnatural sex factor that is the unnatural blonde. I miss it so.



The Cervix Punchers -- February Edition

It's baaaaack! (And soon enough, so will yours truly!)

Admit it ... there is just one male idol, above all others, that just does something to you. He makes your ovaries twitch and ache and makes your uterus long for a tenant for forty weeks. It doesn't matter what he does. A new or old performance, a TV appearance, or even just looking at a damn picture sends you into a complete melt-down state of wanting to enter motherhood.

You know exactly who I'm talking about.

This isn't necessarily a category, it's more like bragging rights. Only the top five will be posted on the right sidebar, like the holy list of men you want to have lots of unprotected sex with.

It can be any idol, from any group so long as he's over the legal age, because I don't want to start promoting teen parenting. I'm already going to K-Pop hell by corrupting your minds, I don't want to add another thing to the list. You can vote for more than one guy, because you know that I have an incredibly difficult time choosing between Master GD and Sex God. I don't expect you to choose between two (or three) luscious idols; I sure as hell can't. Note: It can be as many as you want, but try to keep it under ... oh, let's say six men, okay?

You can either: comment, email, or tweet me your choices. I'll be keeping track and tallying the scores and then I'll announce the top five. Every few months or so we'll vote again to update the Cervix Punchers and see if your hearts (or ovaries) have found new loves (or baby daddies). Let's close this when one idol reaches fifty votes, okay?

Back in November, we held this little poll. Not a shocker that Sex God came out on top (hah), followed closely by King of Foreplay, Master GD, Sexy Beast Taek, and really shocking was Arms of Sex.

Get to it!