BEAST: Kimchi v. Sushi

BEAST's new MV for their Japanese version of "Bad Girl" was released the other day, and judging by some comments I pulled from a few different uploaded versions, I don't feel left out in my thinking that this version fell short from the original, Korean version.

Like fell off the same tree and rolled down a hill and off a cliff and into the bottom of a shadowy, scary gorge where it splattered all over the rocks. Okay that was harsh. It came to a more dramatic halt at the cliff's edge, but it still is no where near the tree.

It isn't horrible, I actually really like some elements from it that I wished they could have thought of when they debuted. It's just different. And naturally, the only way to settle such  a dispute as to which video is more awesome is to break it down and take a vote!

STYLE

It is no secret that I hate what BEAST's stylists do to them, and it seems that Hyun Seung gets the most of the unfair cray cray style. When I find something that I do like on them, it's a rare occasion and maybe even a cause for a big ass celebration party. I really loved their style in the Japanese version, and despised it in the Korean version.

However, Dongwoon's hair situation needs to be dealt with ASAP, because it just isn't working for me. Comb it differently or whatever you have to do, as long as it doesn't make you look like Justin Bieber, okay?

In my book, Japan wins. Simply because they look like grown men versus another cutesy boyband designed to be adored by adolescent girls. They catered to their legal lady fans on this one.

CHARISMA

HANDS DOWN KOREA.

There is no freaking question about it. They look exhausted, depressed even. I really don't understand where their smiles went. Even Hyun Seung ... the most smiley person in the group looks like you kicked his whole litter of puppies and knocked his ice-cream cone out of his hand. AJ isn't nearly as into the video the second time around as he is the first.

They all look like they just don't care. And that's really unfortunate. If they came into their Japanese debut with the energy that made us all--internationally--fall in love with them, everything would be wonderful. But if I was a Japanese fan and saw the drastic difference between the two versions and the lack of enthusiasm, I would be really upset.

Yes, I know they're tired and overworked, but this is still their job. Is it fair to them? Absolutely not. But plenty of other idols are just as equally overworked and exhausted, and they put on that front and wear it well for the public, for their fans. 

CHOREOGRAPHY

Again, hands down Korea. A lot of this gets factored into the lack of charisma in the Japanese version, but I honestly felt like screaming at my computer screen for them to stop standing there and MOVE, DAMN IT!

Even Doo Joon, my sweet, sweet DJ ... if you watch him at 1:15, he's exhaling so hard that it comes across as exasperation, like this is pointless and stupid and there are a million other things they as a group have to accomplish and do.

During the chorus, there wasn't much effort put into the choreography that everything seems slow and drawn out and boring. Could the director have given all of them two Red Bulls to down after seeing the first take was not up to BEAST standard or something? It's as if they forgot their choreography to this song--their debut song, something that should always be executed flawlessly because they worked so long and so hard on it--and they didn't have time to practice before shooting so it was all done from vague memory.

I just didn't feel their passion from this video, and I'm not saying it's terrible. I was just spoiled with the original so I kind of want the NEW version to surpass it and leave my mind blown. My mind was blown, but not in the wow-that-was-so-amazing! way I wanted it to be.

First, watch the Korean version below:

Now watch the Japanese version:

And leave a comment below telling me what you liked/disliked about it!

TKPA

Cervix Punchers (With a New Twist!)

Yes, we didn't have this in February. Truthfully, I forgot all about it until February 26th, so I figured we could just skip it for the month and wait until May. Also, it was right when BIGBANG had their comeback, so I had a feeling that the votes would be predominantly for them, and though I cannot complain about that, I didn't think it would be 100% fair to the other male idols (like they actually read this thing).

Admit it ... there is just one male idol, above all others, that just does something to you. He makes your ovaries twitch and ache and makes your uterus long for a tenant for forty weeks. It doesn't matter what he does. A new or old performance, a TV appearance, or even just looking at a damn picture sends you into a complete melt-down state of wanting to enter motherhood.

You know exactly who I'm talking about.

This isn't necessarily a category, it's more like bragging rights. Only the top five will be posted on the right sidebar, like the holy list of men you want to have lots of unprotected sex with.

We have some new rules this time around, so pay attention!

1. No more than six eight idols can be voted for. If you list ten, only the first six eight will be counted. Six Eight is more than plenty! (I'm giving you eight this time around to make up for skipping February).


2. When you go to list your idol, state his stage name and group name. Because there's more than just one "Junsu" and sometimes I'm not totally 100% sure of what an idol's real name is, so this will make it easier for me, okay?


3. Only vote for an idol one time. Don't repeat an idol's name six times, because I'm only going to count them once.


4. They must be over the age of 18, so still no Taemin or DongHo or anyone else under the age of 18. I REPEAT DO NOT CAST A VOTE FOR ANYONE UNDER 18, EVEN IF YOU ARE UNDER 18. GOT IT?! If you choose to ignore this, your entire vote (meaning all the people you voted for) will not count. Don't be rude; follow the rules.

5. Don't count the votes ahead of time, please! I tried doing it a secret way before, but not enough people participated by just emailing their choices to me. If you count before, then you're taking the fun out of everything. Just be patient!

Ready for the twist?

Comment below with your choices; I'll be keeping track and tallying the scores. Then, I will take the Top Fifteen and post on the sidebar a poll where I encourage all of you vote for your favorite out of the men listed. I know that we all don't have one bias group and one bias member. I know we kind of whore our fan girl hearts out to multiple idols, and I think that by casting votes, but then narrowing it down to the Top Fifteen will remind you of someone you didn't vote for the first time around, and it will truly show the best of the best.

Let's see how this works, and if the general consensus is approving and it works, this will be the way we will carry out the Cervix Punchers from now on.

Comment below with your eight choices! Submissions will close May 31st, and then I will post the poll on the sidebar shortly after (which you'll then have one week to vote).

TKPA

Happy Birthday to the Sexiest Man in South Korea

One of my all-time favorite idols/artists turned 23 (24) today. And although he only has like half an hour left of May 18th in Korea, it's bright and early where I'm at so the celebration of this beautiful man gracing us with his constant sex appeal, seemingly neverending Michael Jackson choreography (looking at you APOPA!), gorgeous voice, and the most adorable freaking Engrish I've ever heard, is continuing on and on 'til the break of dawn (I got a mic and a I just can't leave it alone) .... sorry, couldn't resist!

I know why they call him "Taeyang" or "Sol." It's because when he takes off his shirt, his glorious abs emit a ray of light so bright and powerful that people mistake it as the sun's solar energy. That's the reason, and I'm sticking to it.

Taeyang posted a video on his YouTube Channel this morning, and he's so freaking cute and adorable that I wanted to reach through my computer screen and snatch him up and just squeeze him until he started turning blue from lack of oxygen.

I love how for majority of the video, he's just wandering around aimlessly, leaning on a graffiti wall. Then he starts a one-man flash mob on some stairs. Then he almost kicks the camera. Then he continues to walk around in the same places and does some spins, which I know he meant to make himself look cool, but all it does is make it look like he's lost and he's trying to remember how to get back to the hotel by looking around for familiar landmarks.

And I especially love how it's windy, and the trees are moving in the background, and you can hear the wind on the camera's microphone ... yet there's so much product in that faux hawk that it doesn't move a milimeter. I now fully appreciate how much time must go into making it hard as a rock. (Maybe that's the inspiration of Pride Rock in the background of the  "I'll Be There" video. It was a tribute to the faux hawk).

Now this was just released, and I have so many comments about this video, I need to just break it down.

1. When the video first starts, Taeyang is "dancing." Not so much dancing, as grinding the air. Perhaps warming up for the big event? (I KNOW HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND STASHED AWAY SOMEWHERE, I JUST KNOW HE DOES).

2. Sunglasses indoors, Taeyang? In a dimly lit room? Really? I know, I know. Your future's so bright, you gotta wear shades.

3. The camera pans to the birthday cake .... LOOK! TAEYANG IS FINALLY TALLER THAN SOMEONE! Honestly, what a mean joke the person who designed the cake played. How dare you make fun of Tae-Tae's height. Only I'm allowed to do that.

4. GD obnoxiously screaming in the background was his way of stealing some of my attention off of Taeyang and his birthday. He was getting jealous.

5. Speaking of GD, shouldn't he give the hat styled like a birthday cake to one of the birthday boys? You truly are an attention whore, and I love you for it.


Happy birthday, Taeyang! :)

TKPA

Kangin is POSSIBLY on Twitter

I have evidence for the Pro and Con sides of the current situation as to whether or not Kangin, whom we all miss greatly since he entered the military, has joined us in Twitterworld.

PRO:

He tweeted this picture on April 27th of himself in military uniform. And from the quality of it, you can tell it was taken by his cell phone.

If the account is fake, then they went through a heck of a lot of trouble obtaining this picture, because I'm 95% positive that if this had been released, forums and sites would have written about it and I would have seen your spastic tweets of excitement.

Oh and he looks so precious in that uniform!

CON:

He has been tweeting from his account since the end of JANUARY and no one knew? I mean, really? An idol cannot sneeze without it immediately being front page news and everyone offering "fighting" for his/her health.

AND he is only following three members of Super Junior, none of which are following him back, not even Leeteuk. So either he hasn't talked to any of them, and when he has, "Hey follow me on Twitter!" is the last thing to come to his mind, or when he's talking to them and retweeting them, they don't see it because they get flooded with tweets from fans so they don't know he's talking to and following them.

Where the hell is Shindong to confirm this for us? He's slacking.

Follow the may-be-might-be-could-be-possibly Kangin Twitter account and judge for yourself!

TKPA

Over 100 Reasons Why You Need to Switch to Comcast

Just received this in an email. Are you Comcast customers happy about this or what?!

Comcast Recognizes Asian Pacific American Heritage Month with an On Demand Video Jukebox of More Than 100 “K-Pop” Hits from South Korea’s Top Young Music Stars

This May, to further recognize Asian Pacific American Heritage Month, Comcast is providing its customers with On Demand access to its biggest ever bounty of the hits from the biggest names in Korean pop music. Comcast’s second annual salute to Asian Pacific American culture and the genre known as K-Pop will feature more than 100 music videos from 38 top artists. 2NE1, Big Bang, Girls’ Generation, Kara, Se7en, SHINee and the Wonder Girls are just a few of the K-Pop superstars whose latest and greatest videos will be available On Demand to Comcast’s nearly 20 million Digital cable homes under Top Picks > Asian Entertainment > Music.

A trend that has been steadily building since the early 2000s, K-Pop is similar to American pop music, with accents of R&B, dance, hip hop, electronica, and even the bubblegum genre. This fusion of music styles along with incredibly stylish videos, has brought K-Pop massive popularity in the U.S. These young stars have become a cult favorite amongst millions which makes it easy to see why American K-Pop fans started an email campaign to get South Korea’s hottest 4-member girl group, 2NE1 on Ellen DeGeneres’ show and why another favorite, Wonder Girls were the opening act on the Jonas Brothers’ 2009 tour.

Since it debuted one year ago, Comcast On Demand’s K-Pop line-up has provided music fans with an updated parade of the latest and greatest hits from Korea’s most popular young artists. The expanded May line-up will include hit makers like Girls’ Generation (“Gee” and “Run Devil Run”), Se7en (“Better” and “I’m Going Crazy”), Kara (“Wanna,” “Pretty Girl” and “Lupin”), Big Bang (nine hits including “Number One” and “Always”) and 2NE1 (nine videos including “Fire” and “Don’t Stop”). Also included in the K-Pop wave are stars like Park Bom, GD & TOP, Seungri, Taeyang, miss A, IU, Super Junior, Secret and Mighty Mouth. Each of these high-energy videos features incredible talents and since each offering is On Demand, viewers can use their remote control to pause, rewind, or fast forward to perfect their lip synching, 24/7.



A very big thank you to Jacky Agudelo from Cataldi Public Relations for emailing me this press release to share with you all!

TKPA

Jay Park has Abandonment Issues

It makes me all warm and fuzzy inside to see Jay Park back and singing in Korean where his ass belongs. Yes, we know you're a bboy at heart and that will never change, but dude we missed you. And there are only so many videos of you singing in your bathroom that we can handle. Unless you want to spice things up and sing in the shower, you're better off back in music videos and on stage.

And hopefully now that silly feud with some other guys will be put to rest .............. hint, hint.

Already "Abandoned" is stuck in my head. I don't know what he's saying, but when do I ever? Hell I have a hard enough time trying to decipher this guy's English tweets. I really like this video and I didn't find anything that I thought was ridiculous or stupid or just a horrible, horrible choice and shouldn't have ever happened. I mean, it's not like his hair was ridiculously shaved to look like sunglasses a la Kanye West or anything.

..... oh.

Well, it's not as if the choreography was laughable with things mimicking every day life like hailing a cab in New York City or hitchhiking your way across the country.

..... at least he didn't incorporate miming into it.

..... really?

And in other news, holy push-up bra, Batman.

Jay, I figured out why you were "abandoned." Do you see her face?

Do you see that expression? The "kill me now before he says one more freaking word" expression? Look at her! She's wearing a bra that is constricting and forcing her cleavage up to her chin, no doubt she has on a pair of spanx underneath that dress, even though she probably starved herself for two days in order to zip it up for your date that night, and she spent two freaking hours on her damn hair and she got waxed in some places that were never meant for hot wax ... and you sit there and cry and whine and totally kill the sexy, romantic mood she has created by physically altering her body?

NO WONDER SHE LEFT YOU.

I'd leave you too!

PS -- I am totally buying you new earrings. Those have been in your ears since the "Again and Again" days and that's another reason she left you! BUY YOU AND HER SOME EARRINGS (preferably not matching) AND MAKE IT UP TO HER, YOU ASS.

Check out the new MV for "Abandoned" by Jay Park!

TKPA

I'm Back, Motivated, and Better Than Ever

K-Pop male idols, please take this opportunity to prepare yourselves for what is about to happen.

Yours truly is back, folks. I've been slacking for way too long, neglecting my duty to all of you lovely readers around the globe to bring you sinfully delicious reading material about the idols we have become batshit obsessed over. The "Dark Ages," you could say, are over.

Now that the semester is over (Wednesday!) and it is summer, I have time on my hands when not at work. And I promise you all that it will be an amazing summer!

So it was really great timing that I stumbled upon this video by Simon and Martina at Eat Your Kimchi. I've been watching their videos for a while and I love them. I think they're absolutely hilarious and highly entertaining.

They're interacting with idols. Kevin freaking knows them.

SHE WAS BREATHING THE SAME AIR AS T.O.P. SHE WAS CONVERSING WITH G-DRAGON.

THE BATSHIT CRAZY FANGIRL INSIDE OF ME WANTS TO CALL HER A BITCH, BUT SHE REALLY ISN'T A BITCH I'M JUST BEING A JEALOUS GREEN MONSTER.

I am very happy for Simon and Martina to have such great success, but I also have to admit that it was like the K-Pop Gods shone down their golden light and screamed "WAKE THE FUCK UP, TKPA! YOU HAVE A JOB TO DO!" So that's what I'm doing. We've wondered before whether or not these idols know me, but damn it ... I'm going to make sure they do!

Then I remembered that 2PM has some boxers from me. Martina, you might have breathed the same air as T.O.P, but my URL is on Junho's ass. And that ass is splendid. 

Check out lots of crazy and entertaining videos at http://www.eatyourkimchi.com/!

I'm baaack!

TKPA