8.30.2010

Daesung the Dealer

By now I'm sure you've all seen the new BIGBANG MV "Beautiful Hangover." (If you haven't, check it out here). I'm sure you all got a pretty big kick out of Daesung being a drug dealer in the video, because ... well, it's Daesung.

It was hard to picture him at first as a dealer, but you know ... he kind of pulls it off very well. I mean, no one suspects him of being one, he just doesn't fit. He's happy, bouncy, and I for some reason want to think that he even smells like sunshine. Yeah, in place of nasty, rank sweat, the man smells like fresh rain and sunshine.

Oh, but he handles the part really well.

First, like any good dealer, he must inspect his new product.

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Then he sets up a time and place for the exchange with faithful customer, G-Dragon. Everything must be done as discrete as possible, for he never knows if he's under surveillance by the police. Here he is asking G-Dragon for simple directions, but he caught a whiff of his shampoo, so he's taking a closer smell and asking what product G-Dragon uses. It's Aussie, both the shampoo and conditioner. Daesung makes a mental note to pick that up at the store once the exchange has been carried out.

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The classic set the suitcase down for a brief moment to check your watch or whatever, then walk away, "accidently" leaving it behind for the client to retrieve shortly after, once it has been established that there is no police surveillance.

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He even creeps in the shadows, waiting to pounce on the poor, innocent Taeyang, who knows that his girlfriend is cheating on him. His heartbreak is Daesung's business gain.

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Here we see him and the prospective client Taeyang in a run down room with a scary looking bouncer guarding the door. You can see that Tae-Tae wants nothing to do with these drugs. Because he's a good Christian boy, and someone of such morals like himself would never even consider doing drugs.

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Daesung is a crafty dealer. Yes, he is. He tells Taeyang that the pills will get rid of his heartache, that these pills will make her come back to him. Of course, they won't do anything like that and once the high wears off, the only thing Taeyang will be is a heartbroken junkie. Yet a desperate man will do anything, especially when it comes to the woman he loves, so Tae-Tae caves.

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Though you can tell by the look on his face, the expression in his eyes, that there's a part of him that's screaming this is wrong. But the desperation is telling the morally conscious part to shut the fuck up.

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Now that Daesung has guaranteed himself another returning customer, he goes to the gym and does some aerobic exercises. Because drug dealers need to be intimidating. There's nothing scary about a scrawny dealer.

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Although Daesung might look like he's in charge of this operation, he's just a front. The real brains is sitting comfortably and safely, miles away ...

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Seungri is a sneaky one, all right.

Note: This is entirely out of humor and I am not actually indicating that Daesung is a drug dealer in real life. Laugh, it's a joke.

TKPA

I'm Sorry, But WTF??

I know I'm supposed to be doing a post about Nichkhun right now, but when searching for pictures of him, I came across this ... and I'm completely speechless when I'm not laughing my ass off.


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WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!?!


It's like Peter Pan met Alice in Wonderland met The Full Monty or something? What's with Wooyoung's hat? It's like one of those newspaper hats that the teachers have you make when you're in primary school. He even has newspaper left over and it's in his back pocket!


Wait, wait ... it's like one of those fabric napkins that waiters fold into swans or elephants and put on your plate!


And like the craft pipe-cleaners coming out of Chansung's hat? Paired with Calvin Klein boxers and hip dips with a happy trail? I'm so confused by this, but I am laughing my ass off at the same time.


What is this?!


I'm all for the showing of flesh and hip dips, you know this. But to add such hilarity and confusion in the mix only detracts from the flesh, and that's a sin in the K-Pop World.


SERIOUSLY, WHAT IS THIS???


TKPA

Hi, Kevin ... We Shall Be Good Friends

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Well, as long as you're not wearing ... that. A racing jumpsuit? What did you do to piss off your stylist?

I can get past the WTF-outfit you were probably forced to wear by those evil cows, because I can see what's underneath. And I sure am loving what I am seeing underneath. I can even see the top of your belly button.

And I kind of want to trace all of your veins in your arms with my fingertips. Normally veiny arms kind of like freak me out just a bit ... you know when you get that skin creepy crawly feeling? That's what too many veins do to me, but not your veins.

Oh, no. Not yours.

However, I'm not digging your hair. It isn't a strike against you or anything, Kevin. I just can't accept any blonde-abomination other than Master GD.

Don't worry, though. I will be writing about you more in the future, along with the other members of ZE:A. I've been majorly slacking on you!

TKPA

This Is Just a Minho Filled Post

Mmm, Minho ...

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This might sound odd, but I am ten times more attracted to this perfectly legal man now that his hair is shorter. Yes, his longer hair might have been gorgeous and so silky looking, but I can't go for a guy with prettier hair than me. Therefore the short hair not only catches my attention and kind of butches him up (just a little bit), but it also caters to my ego.

Just kidding about that catering to my ego part. Kind of.

Now he's all grown up, hasn't been jailbait for months now and I know you're all loving it just as much as I am. Can you imagine what he'll bring us in the future?

More abs.

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More ridiculously good looks. It's almost unfair how beautiful he is.

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Oh, and more pissed off looks like this. He'll be practicing this for sure in the bathroom mirror. So expect his bitchface to act like fine wine ... it only gets better with age.

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Mmmmm, Minho ...

TKPA

8.29.2010

Cervix Punchers August Edition: And the Winners Are ...

#5 Heechul with twenty-three votes.

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Yes, Kim Heechul is in the top five. I'm BEYOND speechless right now. When I was counting the votes, I couldn't believe it. My thoughts were something like, "Heechul. Heechul. Heechul. Heechul. What the hell? Heechul. Heechul. Heechul. Heechul. Heechul. Heechul. SERIOUSLY WHAT THE HELL?!"

I'm just ... wow. I never thought he would be in the top five. Wow.


#4 Joon with twenty-nine votes.

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Same exact number he was last time around, I expected this from Joon. He's one of those that actually wants to be on this list and will do whatever it takes to make sure he's in the top five. And when I say "do whatever it takes" I mean by just existing.


#3 G-Dragon with thirty-three votes.

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You have to give it to the man ... there's just something about him that drives majority of us crazy. And I think he deserves an award because this is the fourth time he has held onto the number three spot. He's always slightly behind his best friend, so maybe next time around he'll advance just one more spot. Maybe.


#2 Taeyang with thirty-seven votes.

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We've been blessed with a Tae-Tae overdose lately, but that by itself is not why this glorious man received this many votes. Hell, he could be on a hiatus and he would still be in the top five. Sadly, he's back to his number two spot, having lived at number one for three months.

Which means ...

#1 T.O.P with forty-five votes.

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All is right with the world, as T.O.P is once again the ultimate Cervix Puncher. As he should be. He is, afterall, the Official Pimp T.O.P.


Thanks for voting! We won't vote again until NOVEMBER!

TKPA

Cervix Punchers: Numbers Six Through Ten

#10 Junhyung (15 votes) - Finally this man is getting the recognition he deserves! Keep at it, bb! You might be in the top five come November!


#9 Rain (16 votes) - I watch that part of "Hip Song" over and over and over and over and over and over. You know exactly what part I'm talking about. Every time I watch Ninja Assassin, my Rain love grows and grows. I'm glad to see it's the same for you all too!


#8 Minho (19 votes) - I'm so glad you're no longer jailbait. Your future looks very bright in the Cervix Punchers.

#8 SeungHo (19 votes) - I seriously am considering getting like fifty tubes of Starburst Lip Smackers and sending them to this man. He needs to keep those babies juicy!


#7 Chansung (20 votes) - Maknae you're making me very, very proud. Keep up the sexy!

#7 Jonghyun (20 votes) - Due to a computer error, he was first listed at #14 ... but thanks to people who stalked the comments and counted everything themselves, he was placed in his rightful spot.


#6 Se7en (22 votes) - It makes me so happy that he is back, because now I will have more relevant excuses to write about him and drool over him and secretly pretend he's single.


And the top five are ...............

Coming up!

TKPA

Cervix Punchers August Edition: Almost, But Not Quite

#15 U-Know (7 votes) - Yeah, I'd keep the faith in him too.


#14 Hangeng (8 votes) - Okay so he might not be a part of Super Junior anymore, but his sex appeal is still infiltrating our minds.

#14 Siwon (8 votes) - Is it the eyebrows or the abs that get you all hot and bothered? Or do you just want to corrupt the good Christian boy?
#14 AJ (8 votes) - Glad to see that your recent scandal didn't make fan girls put you in a wooden boat and push you out to sea.


#13 Onew (9 votes) - This is just me talking, but every time I think of Onew I think of Kentucky Fried Chicken. Don't see the sex some of you see, but hey, to each his own!

#13 Kyuhyun (9 votes) - Ohhhh, this I totally understand.

#13 Hero (9 votes) - Pretty but with a masculine edge ... you can't ask for much better.


#12 Taecyeon (11 votes) - Oh, honey ... you've been slipping majorly in this competition. May I suggest keeping your mouth shut and just standing there shirtless? The rabid, angry fan girls who are disliking you as of late will most likely forgive you. Simply because they'll be left speechless.

#12 Donghae (11 votes) - Lately I've been wanting to pinch his cheeks and squeeze him, because he's so damn adorable. Then, you know, he does something sexy and the adorable factor flies out the window.


#11 Nichkhun (13 votes) - Oh, how I love this man and his daily song tweets. Even the ones where he tweets a "naughty" song then tries to act all coy and innocent about it. WE KNOW YOU'RE NOT.


Top ten coming your way!!

TKPA

Cervix Punchers August Edition: The Ones Who Didn't Make It

Let me say to begin with that this is the most votes this feature has ever received! 116 comments and 526 votes cast for idols. It was good seeing a lot of new names on here, and there are even a few surprising ones. Seriously, I'm still shocked at the outcome.

The Ones Who Received One, Lonely Vote:

Kangin
Yejun
Hongki
Ajoo
Kibum (U-Kiss)
Chundoong
Lee Min Ho
Yoochun
Jinwoon
Jokwon
Seulong
Chance
Lee Seung Gi


The Ones Who Received Two Votes:

LeeU
Henry
Xiah
Hyun Seung
Xander
Yo Seob
Wooyoung
G.O
Mika
Kim Bum
Kiseop


The Ones Who Received Three Votes:

Jinon
Max
YongHwa
Soohyun
Eli
Young Sky
Peter


The Ones Who Received Four Votes:

Eunhyuk
Leeteuk
Yesung
Thunder
Daesung
Dongwoon


The Ones Who Received Five Votes:

Ryeowook
Kan
Teddy
Junsu
Jay
Du Jun
Junho


The Ones Who Received Six Votes:

Sungmin
Seungri
Mir
Zhou Mi
Key

Stay tuned for the top fifteen!

TKPA

8.26.2010

Quick Little Announcement

Since the new semester started on Monday and since I will be starting a new job some time next week, I need to take a quick little break from the blog just until I get my schedule worked out. I will be setting aside time specifically for the blog once everything is set in stone, that way there won't be repeats of long absences from me.

I just wanted to tell you all this so you're not emailing me or tweeting me that you miss me and asking when I will blog again. I'm not disappearing on you all, I promise! I'm always reachable by Twitter or email.

Be back soon!

Thanks!

TKPA

8.21.2010

I'm Smiling Like a Fool

This will be summed up in four screen caps. Only because I'm way too giddy to come up with something witty and clever to say.

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All I can say is ... :)

Big thanks to @mizz_julie and @dolbeokji for giving me the heads up that he was talking about being featured on Perez!

TKPA

8.20.2010

What Happens When I Whore Out a K-Pop Idol

I figured it was a long shot to do this, but my philosophy is "It doesn't hurt to try."

With that in mind, I decided to email Perez Hilton in regards to the King of Foreplay's new MV for "I'll Be There." Chances of him even seeing it were slim, but like I said ... it doesn't hurt to try.

Now before you start giving me shit about this, saying Perez's opinions about K-Pop are insignificant or don't mean anything, and he should get out of the fandom ... all I have to say is just shut your mouth. Honestly, what's more important: having someone who has worked his entire life to be successful, to be the best; someone who puts his heart and soul into every note he sings and every dance move, become even more known, accepted, appreciated, and truly one of the best that the world has ever seen? Or keeping him just within the fandom, within South Korea and Asia? I'm sorry but Taeyang is way too talented to be kept a secret. If you want these idols to start touring globally, they're going to have to be known globally.

Obviously if Taeyang didn't want to start becoming more known internationally, he wouldn't be releasing an international album and he wouldn't be releasing songs in English. You understand that he's trying to work his way into the Western entertainment world, right? Of course you do, because you're not dumb people.

And yeah, K-Pop isn't for everyone, but again if it wasn't for Perez Hilton, I wouldn't have been introduced to it and neither would some other people I know. So quit acting like a fandom snob just because you discovered it some other way or you've been into it longer than others have. We all love the same people, we all respect the same people. Why does it matter how long you've been listening to it? Shouldn't it just matter that you do listen to it?

ANYWAY, I DIGRESS.

I emailed Perez this morning, thinking that since Taeyang is wanting to be known more internationally, this could be a good way for him to gain more attention. Because you also know that celebrities check his site to look at THEMSELVES, right? Fact is, whether you like him or not, Perez is a mjaor gateway to exposure. I will never take my choice back or think of it as a mistake, and if you do, you can kindly get off my blog.

Digress again ... ha.

This is the subject line that I emailed him with. Pretty catchy. I knew it would get his attention.

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Catchy headlines are always a must.

I emailed him with this. You can check out the screen cap of it here, if you'd like.
Perez,

As a lover of K-Pop, I know you will appreciate this! It is the newest single from Taeyang, who I'm sure you know is a part of Big Bang. He will be releasing his first international album next week, and "I'll Be There" actually has a Korean and an English version.

This is the music video, which is AMAZING, choreographed by the talented Shaun Evaristo (who does most of the choreography for YG Entertainment artists). Taeyang is simply amazing, even opening for Usher when his tour stopped in Seoul, and I can't wait for people worldwide to recognize his talent.

Check it out! You won't be disappointed :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7yDhql20TSU
I didn't think he would see it or respond, so imagine my surprise when less than fifteen minutes later this pops up in my inbox:

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I was so excited. I didn't want to say anything on Twitter about it because I wasn't sure if he would post the video or not. But he did and that made me ridiculously happy and I felt so accomplished.

So thank you, Perez! :)

Maybe I need to whore out more idols ...

Edit: So, yeah, I know Tae-Tae didn't open up for Usher. I could have sworn he did, but my information was mistaken. Brian McKnight, yes. Usher ... hopefully next time.

TKPA

8.18.2010

Meat Market

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Well, hello there, GD flesh! I've been waiting a long amount of time to see you in all your defined glory. And considering it's been twenty-two (or twenty-three in Korea) years since you blessed the world with your presence, I figured today would be the most fitting day to finally include you in the Meat Market.

You get a solid ten. Simply because I said so.

What do you think? Granted he doesn't have rock-hard abs of the likes of Taeyang, but there are some pecs on that boy's body, and you can clearly see in the shadow of the skankoid whom I cropped out, some abs.

1 – Did absolutely nothing for me
3 – Ehh, I've seen better
5 – Definite potential, but not my cup of tea
8 – Jaw-dropping
10 – Self-combustion

You know the deal, either comment or tweet me your rating and at the end of day, Master GD will be judged. You have until midnight!

END RESULT: G Baby ended up with an 8! Not too shabby!

TKPA

8.16.2010

Lady Heechul? Um ...

I don't know how I missed this ... but I believe it is safe to say that Heechul has raised the bar on this one. I don't know how he will top this.

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This is just pure amounts of win combined with a touch of speechlessness. The resident diva of Super Junior pulls off the Lady Gaga ensemble quite well, I have to admit. Could you imagine if she included him in one of her music videos?

He'd outstage her in a heartbeat. She might be a diva, but she's an amateur compared to Heechul.

And Jokwon.

TKPA

Say Whaaat?

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Thai Me Up: I really need a pedicure.

TKPA

8.14.2010

The Cervix Punchers -- August Edition

Admit it ... there is just one male idol, above all others, that just does something to you. He makes your ovaries twitch and ache and makes your uterus long for a tenant for forty weeks. It doesn't matter what he does. A new or old performance, a TV appearance, or even just looking at a damn picture sends you into a complete melt-down state of wanting to enter motherhood.
You know exactly who I'm talking about.

This isn't necessarily a category, it's more like bragging rights. Only the top five will be posted on the right sidebar, like the holy list of men you want to have lots of unprotected sex with.

It can be any idol, from any group so long as he's over the legal age, so Teen Top and Taemin are disqualified. You can vote for more than one guy, because you know that I have an incredibly difficult time choosing between Joon and Seungho. I don't expect you to choose between two (or three) luscious idols; I sure as hell can't. Note: It can be as many as you want, but try to keep it under ... oh, let's say six men, okay?

I tired doing it different for the May editon by having you email me your choices, but that didn't work out well since not many participated. Thus we're going back to the old way of either commenting below or emailing me (if you choose). I'll be keeping track and tallying the scores and then I'll announce the top five. Every few months or so we'll vote again to update the Cervix Punchers and see if your hearts (or ovaries) have found new loves (or baby daddies).

Voting will end on August 28th! Leave your choices in a comment below!

TKPA

8.13.2010

G-Dragon Has a ... a ... Girlfriend

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Reportedly is the keyword here.

Okay ... I have a confession. I cannot believe I'm about to type this right now ... but ...

If it's true ... I'm happy for him.

SHOOT ME, OKAY?!

Sorry, but G-Dragon needs to get some love from somewhere and I'd rather it be with one person than multiple skanks, you know? He's less likely to pick up STDs this way. Silver lining to every dark cloud.

And hey, if Se7en can keep a relationship a secret for years, I'm pretty sure GD can keep a long distance relationship a secret.

So, G Baby ... if you're reading this, congratulations on finally letting us know you're getting some. I will still write about you in the same way I have been, so be sure to keep your girlfriend off of here. But in the event that this is false and you are single ... I only have one thing to say to you:

Remember to use condoms.

Update: According to YGE, G-Dragon and Kiko have a "close relationship" but they are not dating. Hate to be the translator of that, but in celebrity speak, that means they're together. Think of how many celebrities have said that in the past yet were actually dating. Deny, deny, deny. Regardless, I'm still happy for him. I will even throw this girl a wedding shower.

TKPA

IT. IS. FINALLY. DONE.

I've been having issues with trying to find a box big enough to fit everything, but small enough so AA-CHAN isn't cursing me the entire time he delivers it. Originally, Daesung's vest and G-Dragon's shoes were in boxes, wrapped with wrapping paper and bows and ribbons. Now they're in black gift bags. I was going to put T.O.P's glasses and rings in a metal, rectangular tin, but it wasn't in stock at the craft store.

So I had to resort to this:

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Creative, right? I tied the rings together on a piece of ribbon, so they won't get lost in all the silver crap.

And then the finished product looks like this:

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Seungri's journal, Taeyang's hat, T.O.P's glasses, GD's shoes, Daesung's vest, then the box with the postcards, birthday cards, and a little note on top telling them who I am and congratulating them.

Then I had a bunch of that silver easter-grass-like stuff that is such a pain in the ass and clings to everything left over, so I decided to use the rest of it in lieu of packing peanuts.

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Do you think they will hate me when this stuff gets all over the place?

Thank you all so much for participating! I really wish everyone who showed interest in sending the postcards and birthday cards actually sent them to me. A lot of people asked for the address then never sent anything. Kind of a bummer, but at least we pulled this off, even after a huge huge delay due to unprofessionalism from a certain company.

Thanks to all who donated, as well. This would not have been possible without your help!

You're all amazing :)

Oh and ... I really don't know when the next project like this will happen ... this thing was such a pain in the ass --- worth it, but a huge pain in the ass. I'm glad it's finally over with!

TKPA

8.11.2010

Happy Birthday, CJ!

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Today is CJ's birthday!

Currently Daesung is on a step ladder hanging pink streamers (just so she can have a better view of his ass) and Taeyang is sitting there shirtless blowing up some pink balloons, abs just glistening with oil (which is required whenever he's in her presence), while Se7en has his luscious lips in the kitchen making her some chocolate chip pancakes that he will later feed to her while she lies in bed.

G.O will be making smoothies shortly, carrying them out to her on a silver tray as she lies poolside and soaks up the sun. Chance will be sitting beside her, every so often shading her with a pink umbrella when the sun gets a little too hot, and also singing to her whatever song she wants. Like her own personal jukebox. Taekyeon will want to go swimming, but he has to be naked, because it's her birthday and they all have to do whatever she says.

On a serious note, I want to thank CJ for being a truly awesome friend and helping me through some tough times. You're simply an amazing person that has nothing but love for everyone.

Also, please say a quick prayer for CJ's father, as he was rushed to the hospital last night and is still there now.

Happy birthday!

xoxox

The Best I Could Find

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I'm not really going to say much here, because I'm still very angry and upset that what I really wanted for T.O.P didn't happen. I know it's the thought that counts and he will love it ... still, it is very frustrating to me.

These were the best that I could do on such a short amount of time. Like I said, I found a boutique that had T.O.P-style rings. And these rings are HUGE, not small. The green one takes up about half my finger. I found only the rings with the biggest sizes, as they didn't have sizes on them. And the glasses looked like something he'd wear, so I figured why not? Everything added up to $37, so I have a little left over to put them in something. I have an idea that I'm about eighty percent certain will work, so I will keep you updated.

Sorry about everything, guys. Let me know what you think.

TKPA

The King is Here

Taeyang is finally on Twitter. This is a miracle.

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I know you're probably thinking that I'm going to spam the poor guy with loads of dirty things that will make him turn crimson. Even though I want to make him blush more than anything ... I'm actually really scared to tweet to him.

Like ... terrified.

My first tweet to him "Welcome to Twitter :)" was really lame and probably not what you all were expecting. I just can't piss off Tae-Tae. I mean, he'd be hot as hell pissed off, but I don't want to chance it. Because what if I tell him "I want to make a banana split on your abs and then eat it off you" and then he doesn't understand that it's meant to be humorous (and also slightly serious) and takes offence to it? What if he decides from my one dirty tweet that he will never show his abs or any amount of flesh ever again, thus turning into a shorter T.O.P who can actually dance?

I will be the most hated woman on earth. Rightfully so.

So, out of my love for you guys and for the entire K-Pop fandom, I won't be tweeting dirty things to him. And when G-Dragon and T.O.P finally get on Twitter ... I won't be tweeting dirty things to them either. Not because they'll misunderstand me. Oh, no ... they'll understand me all right. I just don't want to piss off another, more local person and risk not ever seeing those abs ever again and becoming single. Yes, that's right. The BF comes before my fandom.

Tae-Tae did tweet some lovely pictures for us, though. I really like this one, for multitude of reasons.

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1. You can see the set lights at the top of the picture. Unless those are supposed to be UFOs or something.
2. Taeyang loves this pose. How many times has he done it?
3. Biceps.
4. He looks like he just kicked all of those guys' asses. Really did a great job in bringing out his inner badass.
5. HE IS IN A GRAVEYARD.

If you don't understand the significance of that and why I'm mentioning it, then click here and read this. Maybe I don't have to tweet to him? Maybe he's already reading this blog?

Well ... he will be soon enough.

CLICK HERE TO FOLLOW TAEYANG ON TWITTER IF YOU AREN'T ALREADY. AND IF YOU AREN'T ALREADY, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?

TKPA

I'm Going to Keep My Envy to a Minimum

When One Way was in Manila last week, one of my blog-stalkers from the beginning was there to see them. Naturally, I am a nice shade of green right about now. Especially since she had extremely close connections to the boys which had her right in their tent/dressing room. Yes, she saw One Way's pants on the floor.

And if she were the cause as to why those pants were on the floor, hell I would be throwing a parade for her right now despite the fact that I would be screaming with jealousy inside. Unfortunately for her, she wasn't the cause of those pants scattered about, so there's no parade. Sorry, Jenny.

However ... damn Young Sky is gorgeous. Really, really gorgeous. And Jenny not only got one picture with him:

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She has two:

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A jealous person would make a comment about how his hand is like right there on her bare shoulder. An insanely obsessed person would want to ask how soft his skin is. Me? I'm not going to do either, because I'm trying to keep my envy and delusions to a minimum.

Even the back of his head is gorgeous.

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Her luck doesn't end there, though. Monday night, after One Way's radio show ... they called her.

THEY.

CALLED.

HER.

Even though I want to add a "lucky bitch" right about now, I'm going to refrain because Jenny (being the loyal blog-stalker she is) gave me and the blog a little shout out. So you should listen to next Monday night's show because the incredibly lucky girl they'll play their call with is Jenny.

If you want to read her entire fan account about meeting One Way, you can click here. Another tidbit for you that will either make you squeal with joy or cry with jealousy ... Chance remembered her.

Why do I live in America?

TKPA

8.09.2010

Fed Up With SB Accessories

I really don't care if they threatened legal action, I think it needs to be out on the internet that this company has horrible customer service and needs to get their act together.


This is the letter I wrote SB Accessories on July 26th at 3:58 PM EST.

Dear SB Accessories,


This email marks the fourth time contacting your business within a month. The first being an inquiry as to why I was unable to purchase a product from your website, despite trying over a period of three days. First with Google Checkout, which my payment was cleared and then promptly refunded without any sort of explanation, and then with PayPal, which kept giving me error messages. You quickly responded, informing me the problem was fixed and urging me to order again. In fact, you emailed me twice, the second time stating, "Hey you can order now :)" and nothing else.


On July 1st, I placed an order for SB Goode's (now listed as SB GLASSE'S SPEC's) and received an email receipt with the reference number "10.174.5.142-1298FC2AC7B-73862F81-75D793AE." You had a free shipping option, which said I should receive it within eight to ten business days. No where on your website does it indicate an average time period of how long it takes a product to leave your doors, but I find it interesting that your return policy is only good for ten days after the purchase date. This tells me that you're usually very prompt in sending out orders.


On July 20th, I emailed you with an inquiry of the whereabouts of my order and received no response. Again on the 23rd, I sent another email, notifying you of my previous unanswered email and once again asking about the my order, which has already been billed and paid for.


I am extremely dissatisfied with the way this transaction was conducted. I feel as if the only reason you so quickly answered me (twice) was because you simply wanted my money. The glasses I ordered are for a very talented and internationally known South Korean rapper and actor, T.O.P, who is part of the South Korean hip-hop group, Big Bang. He often wears very outlandish clothing and has an unusual taste in fashion. His typical accessories are very similar to the ones you design. You can look him up on any search engine and I am sure you will agree. Naturally, him wearing your product will be known to his many loyal and international fans, who may want to purchase something from your site. Not to mention the fact that seeing as how he's a trendsetter in the Korean music industry and a very important fashion icon, many other Korean musicians will seek out your products as well.


However, if I do not receive any sort of response email from you within twenty-four hours, informing me of the location of my already billed and paid for order, I will go to my bank and have them refund my money. This is entirely possible, regardless of your ten day return policy, for I haven't received my product yet. Since I feel that money and fame is all that matters to you, I am sure that I will receive a quick response from you.
This is what they responded to me, on July 26th at 4:06 PM EST:

What's your address
Please remove the letter as we have just revoke the statement in our legal firm
We will reship products today with tracking number plus a free item
It is now August 9th and I still haven't received my order, so I wrote them yet another letter and went to twitter to spread it to the masses:

Dear @SBshades: Overall, this is the sixth time I have tried contacting you. My patience has reached its limit with your company. I ordered a product from you on July 1st and became increasingly disappointed with each day that passed without my item in my mailbox. I contacted you on the 20th and received no response. I contacted you again on the 23rd and received no response. I contacted you a third time, on July 26th, informing you that I would go to my bank and have the money refunded, taking my business elsewhere, if I did not hear from you about my item. You instantly responded, asking me for my address (which you should have already had on file), and letting me know that you would ship out my item THAT DAY along with a free gift. It is now August 9th, fourteen days later and still NO sign of my product. I emailed you on August 6th, yet again asking you where my order was and why it hadn't arrived. And yet again, you ignored me. Your customer service skills are HORRENDOUS and I highly suggest that you work on that area or else you will soon have a bad reputation built around your company name. While your products may be designer and you surely have talent, dissatisfied customers can shatter any potential. Is it because I am not a famous celebrity that you could care less about getting my order to me on time? Is money all that matters to you, making a name for yourself? It seems that way, for when I told you this item was for an international fashion icon, actor, and musician, you jumped at the gun to respond to me. I am through with your company. If my item has already been placed in the mail, then please let me know IMMEDIATELY (along with a shipping or tracking confirmation number) or else I will be going to the bank to have my money refunded.
Like I said, they can threaten me with legal action all they want. I have said nothing but the truth and it is not my fault that their company needs tremendous amounts of work when it comes to its priorities. Maybe others have had different experiences with them, I'm not saying that they're like this for everyone. However, all it takes is a few negative reviews.


Update:


They emailed me back on August 9th at 3:46 PM EST with:
Please forward over your exact order and address asap aswell as phone number.Thanks
And then I responded with:
This is the receipt I received via email, as you can see it is dated July 1st. I have included this reference number in every email I have sent you. Now if this is something invalid, then it shouldn't be included in the receipt. You should already have my address, as it was listed alongside my credit card information (which obviously you received because I was billed), and I also replied to you at this email address with my mailing address on July 26th.
This is the address it SHOULD have been shipped to, which I have given you twice.
Address omitted
If you have shipped it then I request a tracking number ASAP. If you have not already shipped it or you cannot provide me a tracking number that states this item has already been processed by the postal service, then I am contacting my bank and issuing a refund.
They emailed me back with this:

What was the shades that were purchased.
I ignored the grammatical errors, swallowed the anger building up inside me, and replied with:

I purchased SB Goode's.
http://services.mercantec.com/Merchant/?m=13570&p1=145912
Have you already shipped this item or not?
And the final straw:
Ok shipping today
And my response:
Unfortunately you're a bit late in shipping an item I ordered over a month ago, and very unforunate that I have not the time nor the patience left to wait another week for an order that you already said you would ship. So please forgive me if this sounds rude, but I no longer want your product. Please do not ship as I will be contacting my bank and having my money refunded. Thank you.
Plan B is in action folks. I found a store in the mall nearby that sells TOP-style rings. I'll try to find the biggest sizes available. I'll make you proud and I will make up for this horrible delay. I'm incredibly sorry to you all that I chose this company and I can assure you that I will no longer use them in any future projects we will do together.

Peter Does Love TKPA!

I was beginning to feel that Peter from One Way wasn't too fond of yours truly. Maybe it's because I called him a tweet whore, or maybe because I've talked about making Young Sky breakfast and didn't include him, or perhaps it's because I'm a bit too in love with Chance's jaw.

My theory that Peter hated me was basically proved on my birthday after a lot of you asked him to give me a little birthday shout out. Public burn when he wished two other people a happy birthday that day ...

So after I cried my eyes out, I accepted the fact that he hated me and I began to move on. But I take the high road a lot, so when I saw that he tweeted this last night:

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I responded with this:

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AND THEN THE K-POP GODS PARTED THE CLOUDS AND LET GOLDEN LIGHT SHINE DOWN FROM THE GLORIOUS AB-FILLED HEAVENS:

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And then me being ... well, me ... I had to ruin it all with this beauty:

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Yes, Peter so graciously put aside his dislike toward me and my foul mouth and then I demolish it. Regardless, though, he finally tweeted to me. This makes me insanely happy, and it is actually one goal accomplished.

(Sidenote: I know that Peter gets flooded with tweets every time he is online, and I know that he does not hate me. I did not actually cry because he didn't wish me a happy birthday. It's sad that I have to write this, but I know at least one person will misunderstand me. This is written entirely out of humor. Laugh.)

TKPA

8.03.2010

Take a Cold Shower After This, Folks

As you view these two pictures, right-click and open THIS LINK in a new window. You need theme music. You will thank me later.

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Now go take a cold shower, because you more than likely need it.

TKPA

BIGBANG Captions ... Which Ones to Send?

Out of 180 votes, 71.67% thought I should go ahead and send them some captions and blog entries.

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Here's what I'm thinking in regards to the captions. I'd right click and open in a new window or tab so you can see them and this post at the same time (clicking on each link does not open in a new window, so right click it!).

Choice #1 - November 20, 2009 - G-Dragon
Choice #2 - December 25, 2009 - G-Dragon, Taeyang, T.O.P, Daesung
Choice #3 - March 12, 2010 - G-Dragon, T.O.P
Choice #4 - April 23, 2010 - G-Dragon, T.O.P, Taeyang, Daesung, Seungri
Choice #5 - July 16, 2010 - G-Dragon
Choice #6 - July 16, 2010 - G-Dragon, Taeyang

Here's the deal ... you can pick THREE captions. For some of them, (like number six), rather than the link to the song, I'll fix it to where the boys know what it's about. Also, go leave your comments on them, so if they're chosen, the boys will see what you have to say. (I'm going to moderate some of them, though. Be warned).

As far as the posts go, I welcome suggestions but the final decision will be mine. The "Tell Me Goodbye" post will be one of them!

So comment below the three you think the boys will love the most!

P.S. -- It isn't too late to donate for shipping! Shipping costs are desperately needed! And I made that word in red, because that's how needed it is.

TKPA

Xander Clued Us In ...

I love Xander, mostly because he has become quite the tweet-whore, giving us all information that has left us questioning his entire relationship with Kevin.

It started with this:

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He's right, you know. It should be the other way around. I love Kevin and all, but be honest here. Out of the two of them, Xander is clearly the one with the most masculinity. Kevin just looks so dainty, like he'd break if you got into an arm wrestling match with him.

And then the tweets escalated into this:

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Oh, come on ... Xander, you know full well your fans are naughty.

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We need some details here, buddy. You can't just say something like that and then not elaborate. I sincerely hope there are some people out there who will continue to ask him every time he's online how he's naughty, with as many details as possible added to enhance the fangirl's dream.

I think some of you actually did hound him, though ... that's why he did a one-eighty this morning with this tweet:

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LIES, XANDER! You're not fooling us.

TKPA