Oh, Young Sky

I don't know what it is about you, boo-face.

I don't know if it's the fact that you're brand spankin' new to the K-Pop scene.

I don't know if it has anything to do with the fact that you're a rapper.

I don't know if it is because you remind me so much of my beloved Sex God and Master GD.

I don't know if it is the fact that your jaw looks insanely make-out worthy and I kind of am beginning to forget about making out with Chance's jaw now.

But whatever it is, Young Sky ... I really want you.

I joined the international forum for One Way just now. See, I'm not really a "forum" girl. I always feel like I have to watch every single thing I type, which me of all people I really should be doing that. I hate doing that, so it's a damn awesome thing that this blog is in existance, because I can talk dirty as much as I want and not have to worry about any mob consisting of thirteen-year-old girls with questionable English grammar attacking me/banning me.

How sad would that be to be banned from a forum?

Anyway, yeah I joined their forum. I found out some interesting things about my newest little bias and I wanted to post a dirty comment, yet I can't. So it's time for the blog to serve it's purpose.

Young Sky was raised in Sydney, Australia.

Australian. Accent. No. Engrish.

OH MY, the thought of that accent telling me dirty things ... mmm. I like that thought very much. Very, very much.

He's also a vegetarian, which is extremely important to know so when I'm making him breakfast the next morning I don't fuck up any future potential by bringing him steak and eggs or bacon or sausage. I'll have to stick to making him pancakes with blueberries for eyes and strawberries making up the spikey hair and a little line of whipped cream for the smile.

And you know that when I go to wake him up and hand him the plate of the pancake smiley face and a nice cold glass of freshly squeezed orange juice ... that the can of whipped cream will be joining us. Because whoever said you have to have dessert at night, after dinner?

Young Sky, I hope you read this.

The Boyfriend, I hope you don't.

Join the forum and make sure to follow the forum's Twitter account if you're digging the boys!

TKPA

Part III of This Picture: Se7en

Confession: I didn't even know this was God of Lips until last night. I've had this thing saved on my computer for God knows how long and I never realized it. My apologies, GoL. I'll make up for it right now. Let's start from the top.

Your lips are luscious, as always. I love that cocky, wicked little grin you have on your face. Because you knew damn well that this picture would be circulating the internet worldwide and girls all over would be combusting and changing their panties over the fact that not one but three idols were wearing bathing suits. I don't think your girlfriend approves of that, but she can't bitch about it to you. You're the God of Lips. Bitching about how you tease other women is blasphemy.

And your gorgeous, thick hair that is kind of shaggy ... I want to run my fingers through it, pushing it away from your face so I can look into your dark brown eyes while underneath you.

I love your body. You have that whole skinny-but-trim body type going on. If the King of Foreplay's arm wasn't in the way, I'd be able to see your abs in its entirety. But I can see the top portion of it and that's all that matters to me.

I can't for the life of me figure out what's written on your underwear. "Bana" and "B" is all I can make out. "Cabana Boy" maybe? That just fills my mind of the glorious image of me on a beach in Cancun, lounging in a hammock between two palm trees, sipping on a piña colada. And you'd be the cabana boy who'd cater to my every need and desire, whether it be as simple as a refill or as gratifying as physical pleasure.

God of Lips ... I will worship at your temple every day for the rest of my life.

TKPA

Sex God and Role Playing: A Fantastic Mix

Whoever suggested that Sex God should venture into the world of acting, let me just say, on behalf of every fan girl in the world … thank you. You, my friend, deserve a very special place in Heaven for your good deed.

I watched Sex God in IRIS … oh, man. It spawned so many risqué thoughts in my brain that I am truly going to have to pay strict attention to what I write so I don't go overboard and go past my limits.

He plays a sadistic assassin in the show and there has to be something seriously wrong with me in order to think that's sexy. I mean, I know it's just acting and everything, but if in reality Sex God was a highly trained killing machine … I wouldn't care. Sure, I'd have my friends and family check in on me every day to make sure that I was still alive, and I'd probably walk on egg shells every day in my life so I wouldn't piss him off … but just look at him! Seriously, I'd so date him even if he was an assassin.

But he isn't, thankfully, because I firmly believe I'm too pretty to die young and I'd hate to be killed over an insanely huge credit card bill. Because sadistic assassins don't fuck around with outrageous credit card bills, man.

This leaves open one option that no doubt Sex God and I will indulge in … role play.

Oh, hell yes!

Oh, yes, I went there.

He'll be the violent hired gun that will sneak around in the shadows of the apartment while I play the moronic, oblivious girl who dies within the first ten minutes of a horror film. You know exactly which girl I'm talking about.

Only in this little role playing fantasy, I will not die. Sex God will appear out of the shadows, all stealth mode and it'll scare me half to death, seeing as how a strange man is in my home (regardless if he's the hottest man on Earth). He won't say a word, he'll just stand there, smoldering intensely. And of course because of his silence, I'll start to beg and plead him not to kill me and then he'll say something along the lines of, "Convince me why I shouldn't," and …

It's your imagination's turn. Mine is currently in a tizzy.

Another scenario is that we'd both be spies, like a total Mr. and Mrs. Smith thing. Minus the whole shooting at each other part, but including the destruction of odds and ends (because that lamp his mother gave us truly is heinous).

Sex God looks like he's into role playing, plain and simple. Because what kind of sex god would he be if he didn't enjoy it?

TKPA

If I EVER Meet Daesung

I think I'd be the happiest girl on earth. Like, emotionally and mentally happy. My face and cheeks would hurt from smiling and laughing so much. Daesung would probably have me in hysterics for absolutely no reason, both of us rolling on the ground laughing so hard that it's nearing impossible to breathe, our faces turning an unnatural shade of red.

This would probably go on for like five minutes before we start gasping for breath, acting like we're drunk or high or a good mixture of both.

If I spoke fluent Korean or if Dae-Dae spoke broken English, we'd be cracking jokes back and forth over a bowl of ramen, in which he'd be laughing at my inability to use chopsticks without failing miserably.

TKPA

If I EVER Met Seungri

I would do three things:

1. Hug him tightly and hope to squeeze some of the hyperness out of him.
2. Tell him that he should always act as sexy as he did while performing "Strong Baby." Because maknae, you are damn hot when you act sexy.
3. Tell him to be at my hotel room at midnight so we can reenact 3:33-3:49 from the "Strong Baby" performance. Oh, yes.

Seungri, you have learned from Sex God and the King of Foreplay and you have proven to us all that you are, in fact, all grown up.

Thank God.

TKPA

If I EVER Meet the King of Foreplay

Oh, man ... I think I'd have the biggest problem with meeting him. Simply because all of the dirty thoughts I've ever had in regards to the King of Foreplay would be circulating in my brain (namely me imagining him standing in front of me shirtless). I don't even think I'd be able to speak.

And I would feel guilty for having such NC-17 thoughts because he is so sweet and innocent. I don't know who'd be more shy, him or me. I'm guessing he would be. I might even pluck up enough courage to tell him that we call him the King of Foreplay and explain why we appropriately named him that.

Seeing him potentially blush and turn red would be literally one of the highlights of my life.

Really, though, I just want to hug this man and see him smile and laugh up close and in person. And when I say hug, I mean "accidently" brushing my hands on along his sides to feel his hip dips.

TKPA

If I EVER Meet Master GD

I'd die. Yes, die.

I'd flirt with him majorly, smiling sweetly, batting my eyelashes every so often, raising the tone of my voice slightly higher than normal to give off a dainty vibe. I'd compliment him on his English skills and tell him he's [one of] my favorite idols, and you know what? I'll even tell him that he owns my soul in its entirety and that I love his cocky, arrogant-as-all-hell attitude.

Yes, I'm sure that'd get a big laugh out of him and I'm also pretty sure that he would love it. So much that he'd be willing to give the whole long-distance-relationship-thing a shot. I'd be willing too, even if it makes me the most hated woman in all of Asia and select parts of North America, Europe, and Australia.

Because being the sex-slave/normal-slave to Master GD is worth international hatred.

TKPA

My Christmas Wish List

Christmas has come a tad early this year, folks!

Who cares if Halloween and Thanksgiving are right around the corner? Christmas is where it's at!

I can just see GD pulling out some mistletoe

Santa better freaking deliver these two to my house Christmas morning. And they better freaking be wearing nothing but boxers and a shiny bow on their ... head .... :)

Santa, I've been a very good girl this year! But if you give me these two as my Christmas present ... well, I'll definitely be transferring to the naughty list for next year. I don't care. Those lumps of coal in my stocking will so be worth it.

TKPA

The Perfect Man

If I were to take bits and pieces from my favorite Korean sex-idols, composing the perfect man, he'd look something like this:

1. Height: Siwon is six-feet tall and I love tall men.
2. Eyes: Donghae totally wins in this department, because his eyes are always so warm and bright. Also, they're filled with mischeif and that's sexy.
3. Lips: My future husband Leeteuk wins hands down. I just want kiss him and kiss him and kiss him. That bottom lip of his is so luscious.
4. Hair: I'm not really for the shaggy hair look, but for some reason, Kyuhyun looks completely geek-chic with his shaggy hair, and I love it.
5. Smile: Even though Sexy Beast Taek has said he hates it when fans say he's "rich in teeth," I love it when those big pearly whites gleam whenever he smiles.
6. Voice: You already know whose voice my perfect man would have. The Sex God has the best moan ... ever.
7. Jaw: Taeyang is the winner. My God his jaw is pure sex.
8. Body: Jaebeom wins, as I want my man to have hip dips that put Cristiano Ronaldo to shame and also eight-pack abs.
9. Sense of humor: Nichkhun can make me laugh insanely hard, and if you can make me laugh insanely hard, I'll pretty much love you forever.
10. Personality: I love how G-Dragon seems so carefree and bright with his personality. He's a hard worker, which I admire, and he knows when it's time to be serious, but in general, he's just an incredible person to be around.

Whose features would you choose to create your perfect man?

If I EVER Meet T.O.P. ...

I have said to certain people that I truly and sincerely do hope that no one in connection to any of the idol boys ever, ever stumbles across this pathetic excuse for a blog, reads it, and then passes it along to one of them. This is what that person might say:

"There's this weird American girl who writes about you in an overly sexual way. Don't worry, I've already notified the security team."

Only it'd be said in Korean and not English.

If by chance that does happen ... first, I'd have a stroke of humiliation. Then after I've returned home from the emergency room, I would bolt to my computer and reread every post, repeatedly saying, "Ohh, my God! WHY DID I WRITE THAT?" after every damn sentence.

And if, by an extremely unlikely chance, I happen to meet T.O.P. after said cyber-humiliation ... I'd be speechless.

One too many layers, boo

Really, I would be. I'd stand/sit there, cheeks blazing red out of complete nervousness and awe, thinking "I cannot believe I am in front of this sex god." I don't think I could even look him in the eye without going completely blank and picturing what his hair looks like in the morning when he first wakes up.

I wouldn't be able to keep myself from laughing while near him. Because the entire time I'd be talking to him, three things would happen:

1. My mind would be running through all of the wickedly, wickedly dirty things I have ever written about him.
2. My mind would be replaying all of the wickedly, wickedly dirty things I have ever written about him in the form of images.
3. I'M STANDING IN FRONT OF T.O.P.!

And thinking about dirty thoughts in front of him, and him not really knowing what I'm thinking, would only further send me into a giggle fit.

If I ever meet this smoldering, brooding man, he would have to be four feet away from me at all times. He cannot break the protective bubble that will be placed around me. Because it's his one of two forms of protection when it comes to me. T.O.P. wouldn't even be allowed to touch me in any way. No shaking hands, no hug hello or good-bye. Nothing. Four-foot rule will be strictly enforced. If it's broken by any means, by either party, it will result in rushing to find the nearest hotel with a vacant room and scattered articles of clothing all over the floor.

T.O.P., for your own safety, boo ... please stay at least four feet away from me at all times. Actually, let's make it eight, considering it'll be a bit more difficult to hear your sexy voice from eight feet away. And we all know that this Addict cannot resist that gruff, yet velvety smooth voice of yours.

I think I need to be banned from South Korea.

TKPA

I Need to Apologize

It was brought to my attention that the things I write about Sexy Beast Taek and Nichkhun are considered decent compared to the ever-so-mentally-satisfying things I write about G-Dragon and T.O.P. They were so right.

I'm sorry, to you all, to SBT, and to Khun, for neglecting them and not giving them the proper treatment on this blog. (Man, I just realized I don't do that to anyone else. Oops). That's going to change, though.

Starting with Khun ...

Every time I see his face I just want to jump on him, tackle him to the ground and kiss him and kiss him until we both run out of oxygen. Yeah, he seems nice and sweet on the surface, but as proven this past weekend, Khun has a lot of sex factor hidden underneath his clothing. I will gladly, and quickly, derobe him to find that sex factor. Also, because of that post and the picture that accompanied that post, I can safely say that there will be a Polaroid camera in the bedroom, in which the pictures will be stored in one of those black boxes that can't even be destroyed in an airplane crash. And when Khun finally drags his beautiful Thai-Chinese body out of bed to go take a shower, rest assured I will snap endless amounts of pictures of him all soaped up. (Pause for a moment of silence in appreciation for that image). I'll even beg him to do his hair into a shampoo mohawk for one last picture before he pulls me into the shower "against my will." Because who am I kidding? Like I'd really resist Khun.

SBT is perfect in many ways. Considering he's sexy as hell when performing, yet slightly dorky when off stage, there is bound to be the best of both worlds while creating the beast with two backs. Sometimes there will be laughing and giggling, completely fun sex that leaves you all warm and tingly and generally a happier person. Other times, it will be need-to-have-you-right-now, passionate sex in which The Beast will be unleashed. I can totally see him pulling an Edward Cullen and busting headboards. Yes, I did just say that and you're welcome. The type of bedroom athletics depends entirely on the proceeding events. Date night consisting of dinner and put-put golf and arcade games, where the two of you act like adolescents and just relax and let loose? That will be followed by light kisses, that become broken due to smiling, all the way home where you'll no doubt continue the fun atmosphere.

The headboard busting? That can only happen when you've spent time away from him due to touring, or when you're sitting in the front row at a performance and it takes everything in your power to keep you sitting in your seat so you don't run up on stage and start going at it right in the middle of the song.

TKPA

Du Jun: The Poor Woman's T.O.P.

I watched the new teaser for B2ST last night and I became a little excited. Not only because it looks amazing, but because Du Jun looks strikingly similar to none other than the man who leaves me speechless by just existing/staring, T.O.P.

Give him a few years and he'll begin to smolder.

Maybe it's just the way the stylist dressed him like a Korean Ken doll for the video, but seriously, he could pass as T.O.P.'s little brother. The bad thing about DJ is that he's practically a year younger than me, and I try not to go for the young ones.

However, I'm willing to put him in the new Back-up Boy category, just in case I can never get the chance to wake up beside T.O.P. in the morning. Kind of like the Army Reserves. DJ will be the next best thing, as long as he always looks exactly like this whenever he's called for duty.

What are your thoughts? Think I'm crazy or do you see the smolder potential/resemblance?

UPDATE: B2ST is now known as Beast. Does anyone else see just how ridiculous/unfitting that really is?

TKPA

If I Were Stranded on a Desert Island ...

Imagine this little scenario:

You're on a gorgeous yacht floating in whatever-ocean-or-sea-of-your-choosing. Besides the crew, there are three equally handsome Korean idols accompanying you. The sun is shining, gleaming off the water and their abs. Truly a perfect moment.

Until the ocean decides to screw up your Heaven-on-Earth moment and sends a massive, hurricane-like storm your way, completely decimating your luxury yacht. The crew (unfortunately) does not survive the storm but you do ... as well as your idols.

Now, who are those lucky men that get to spend the rest of their days with you until you are rescued?

For me, it's E-A-S-Y.

1. Leeteuk. I love this man to death, and since he is going to be my future husband, it's a given that he needs to be on this island with me. And say there are wild monkies inhabiting the island, Teuk could train them to scurry to the tops of palm trees to retrieve the unreachable coconuts. Or we come across some red-painted-Amazonian-like tribe, he could totally manipulate them and somehow convince them not to kill us. That's a very desirable trait in this situation.

He could so train monkies.

2. T.O.P. I am crushing on this man something major lately, so his sexy ass is definitely going to wash up on that shore. He looks like he could definitely construct a hut out of palm frans and fallen tree trunks, and he'll without a doubt do all the fishing/hunting. Plus, he's ridiculously hot which is also working in his favor, because even though I love Teuk to death, I would not be able to resist a half-naked-all-the-time T.O.P. I don't think any woman (or gay man) can.

I don't think that suit is appropriate attire for being stranded.
Lose everything you're currently wearing.

3. Jokwon. This might be a shock, seeing as how he is probably Korea's #1 Diva and doesn't look like he could do anything physical like T.O.P., but seriously this guy would bring the LOLs on a daily basis, making even the darkest moments of being stranded on a desert island (no Clinique products, no hair straightener, no ... no ... razor) fade away. Even though I have serious doubts about his sexual orientation, Jokwon is so fantastically gender neutral that it'd be like having a girl BFF stranded with me, but only he's a guy. (Major plus, he is the proud owner of an awesome body).

LOL ... just ... lol

Which three lucky men have the pleasure of being stranded with you? Explain your picks! :)

Yours,

The K-Pop Addict