Men's Health Did It Again

Am I really seeing this? Is this happening or am I just hallucinating and imagining Jokwon in these pictures? Because for people (like myself) who do not find him sexy and appealing on a daily basis, this photoshoot with Men's Health is a total mindfuck.

And here's the real kicker ...

He's not even shirtless. He's completely clothed. The boy makes clothes look sexy. I mean really, I don't think many other idols can be featured in Men's Health covering up practically all of the good, drool-worthy stuff, and not have us say, "I wish he was shirtless." While Jokwon being shirtless would have just catapulted these pictures into I-need-him-now and resulted in South Korea's tourism to boost, it wasn't necessary.

A man in a suit ... always a very, very, extremely nice sight for the eyes. And the way he still has his bitchface in full swing while taking off that tie ... it makes me forget that he's the size of a toothpick. Toothpicks are now sexy.

I just can't get over the fact that this is JO-FREAKING-KWON. Why can't all of the evil cows take a note from the all-knowing-in-what-fan-girls-want stylists at Men's Health? This is what all of the idols should look like on a regular basis. All the time, 24/7.

They know what they're doing. Look, they even put a pair of handcuffs on him, but left one vacant. So the race of who is going to get to him the fastest and handcuff him to their wrist is on, but please don't kill each other or rip out any hair or break a nail, okay? You have to look decent for Jokwon, because no matter how manly and sexy he looks, he will totally judge you on what you're wearing and the biggest diva in all of South Korea cannot be hanfcuffed to a hot mess.

It just won't happen.

EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT:

HOLY HELL HOW DID I MISS THIS?? (Well, it was on akp ... that's why I missed it. HA!). BUT JESUS, MARY, AND JOSEPH THIS MAN IS ... IS ... HOLY FUCK. THAT'S THE ONLY PHRASE I CAN SAY RIGHT NOW, BUT IT'S FITTING. JOKWON IS HOLY FUCK HOT.

I need to go swim in the Arctic Ocean right about now. Major thanks to Anonymous, whoever you are!

TKPA

We Have a Ghost-Tweeter Among Us

Either that, or Jokwon is fooling us all with his inability to speak English.

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

Exhibit C:

And Exhibit D would be a clip from "We Got Married" where Nichkhun teaches him English.

So either Queen of Bitchface is fooling us all or he has one hell of a translator on his phone (translator meaning someone who is a native-English speaker tweeting for him).

TKPA

The Queen of Bitchface

No one can deliver a bitchface like Jokwon.

NO. ONE.

Congratulations, Jokwon! Your TKPA Official nickname is now "Queen of Bitchface." Own it, bb.
TKPA

Meat Market

He might be the biggest diva in K-Pop, but Jokwon sure has one helluva body.

I give him an 8, because really ... with all those clothes on, it's hard to tell what his body looks like. Without the clothes? It's more of like a shock jaw-drop than a lustful jaw-drop.

Regardless, it's a jaw-dropper.

1 – Did absolutely nothing for me
3 – Ehh, I've seen better
5 – Definite potential, but not my cup of tea
8 – Jaw-dropping
10 – Self-combustion

You know the deal, either comment or tweet me your rating and at the end of day, Jo-Jo will be judged. You have until midnight!

END RESULT: I don't really see this changing, unless a bunch of you start voting tens. Jo-Jo has been at 7 all day. The numbers behind the decimal might have changed, but he's still a 7. Not bad, not bad.

TKPA

My New BFF: Jokwon

It is one of my life goals to meet this man and befriend him. Others might want to wipe out world hunger, find the cure for cancer, or establish world peace. Not me. I'd be completely satisfied if Jokwon were my BFF.

I want to hug him. And go shopping with him.

Just imagine spending the day with him.

You'd meet up in the late morning/early afternoon, where you'd catch up over tea about the important things going on in your lives. You know ... work issues, love life or lack of one, the conversation you had with your mother about when you're going to get married and give her tons of grandbabies that she'll only come over to play with for like an hour, anyway.

Jokwon would probably be a better shopping companion than Kim Heechul, because while Heechul might tell you the brutal truth and thus shatter your self-esteem, Jokwon will deliver the blows gently and be quick to suggest something ten times more flattering for your figure. And seriously, he looks like he'd enjoy a good hour or two at the spa, getting a deep tissue massage and facial, mani and pedis immediately following. After the beautifying is complete, you'd end the night dining out at a fancy restaurant where you'll both be wearing the new ensembles you purchased earlier in the day, followed by a night out on the town.

Jokwon is the type of guy who would comfort you and make you laugh when you're crying over some douchbag-of-a-guy that broke your heart. He'd have no problem going to the video store and renting Steel Magnolias, When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle, and While You Were Sleeping (some of the biggest chick flick movies ever filmed), showing up at your place with pints of Ben & Jerry's Phish Food and Half Baked ice-cream, and a gigantic box of tissues. Yes, Jo-Jo would totally do all of that, as well as let you cuddle with him on the couch. However, he will drag your ass out of bed at an ungodly early hour the next morning and force you into the gym to burn off all the calories the ice-cream racked up. It's a good thing, though. Tell yourself that even if you feel like punching him in the face.

Because of his occupation, Jo-Jo knows pretty much everyone in the Korean entertainment industry, which means that after he's had enough of eating ice-cream with you, he'll hook you up with a fellow idol who deserves to be with you. You'll be backstage at major events and get special access into the recording studio that any fan-girl would envy you for. Not saying that this is a main factor at becoming Jokwon's BFF, but it's a nice little perk.

Another little perk? He has a fantastic body.

Please be my BFF, Jokwon.

Okay, that's a major perk, not a little one.

TKPA

If I Were Stranded on a Desert Island ...

Imagine this little scenario:

You're on a gorgeous yacht floating in whatever-ocean-or-sea-of-your-choosing. Besides the crew, there are three equally handsome Korean idols accompanying you. The sun is shining, gleaming off the water and their abs. Truly a perfect moment.

Until the ocean decides to screw up your Heaven-on-Earth moment and sends a massive, hurricane-like storm your way, completely decimating your luxury yacht. The crew (unfortunately) does not survive the storm but you do ... as well as your idols.

Now, who are those lucky men that get to spend the rest of their days with you until you are rescued?

For me, it's E-A-S-Y.

1. Leeteuk. I love this man to death, and since he is going to be my future husband, it's a given that he needs to be on this island with me. And say there are wild monkies inhabiting the island, Teuk could train them to scurry to the tops of palm trees to retrieve the unreachable coconuts. Or we come across some red-painted-Amazonian-like tribe, he could totally manipulate them and somehow convince them not to kill us. That's a very desirable trait in this situation.

He could so train monkies.

2. T.O.P. I am crushing on this man something major lately, so his sexy ass is definitely going to wash up on that shore. He looks like he could definitely construct a hut out of palm frans and fallen tree trunks, and he'll without a doubt do all the fishing/hunting. Plus, he's ridiculously hot which is also working in his favor, because even though I love Teuk to death, I would not be able to resist a half-naked-all-the-time T.O.P. I don't think any woman (or gay man) can.

I don't think that suit is appropriate attire for being stranded.
Lose everything you're currently wearing.

3. Jokwon. This might be a shock, seeing as how he is probably Korea's #1 Diva and doesn't look like he could do anything physical like T.O.P., but seriously this guy would bring the LOLs on a daily basis, making even the darkest moments of being stranded on a desert island (no Clinique products, no hair straightener, no ... no ... razor) fade away. Even though I have serious doubts about his sexual orientation, Jokwon is so fantastically gender neutral that it'd be like having a girl BFF stranded with me, but only he's a guy. (Major plus, he is the proud owner of an awesome body).

LOL ... just ... lol

Which three lucky men have the pleasure of being stranded with you? Explain your picks! :)

Yours,

The K-Pop Addict

Step One: Admitting My Problem

I know exactly when it happened. It was May 9, 2009.

I logged onto my computer that afternoon, checking my usual websites [Facebook, Twitter, Myspace (which is rarely ever used), Kickette, DailyMail (why I choose to read British mags is another topic entirely), and of course, Perez Hilton]. It was on Perez that I first saw the video that has forever changed my life. I normally skip over the music videos he posts, but something deep within me said to give it a chance. Maybe it was the fact that the screencap of the video showed a lot of handsomely dressed Korean men, or maybe it was out of sheer boredom that I decided to watch it.

Either way, I fell in love.

If you've ever heard Korean pop, you can't deny that the beats are catchy. Sure, I don't know what they're saying 95% of the song (5% of it has broken English phrases incorporated into the lyrics), but it still makes me want to get out of my chair and DANCE, DANCE, DANCE. In the months following that fateful day, my tastes in K-pop have branched out a teeny bit. I used to subject my ears to nothing but one group, over and over, song after song, until I could sing the songs in Korean. And I can sing them in Korean.

And the one group I am referring to -- the group that I obsess over on a daily basis and that I swear I will marry at least one of these boys -- is none other than the amazing, talented, hilarious, and absolutely man-gorgeous, Super Junior.

From left to right: Shindong, Donghae, Yesung, Kangin (hat), Sungmin, Kyuhyun,

Kibum (top), Hankyung, Heechul, Eunhyuk, Ryeowook, Siwon, Leeteuk

Yes, there are thirteen of them. Yes, I know all of their names. And no, actually, none of them look similar. Let me just tell you, I am in love with these boys. I have over thirty of their songs that I repeatedly play on my iTunes, their entire 3rd album (which is absolutely incredible in every single way), and yes, there is even a poster (the above picture, actually) on my wall. I will have one of their babies, but that's something I'll hash out another day. And there will be plenty of posts as to why I love Super Junior, so I won't begin to explain it at the moment, but trust ... there are a lot of reasons.

Suggested Super Junior songs: "It's You," "Reset," "She Wants It," and "Let's Not."

Another K-pop boy band/idol group I currently have a fascination with is 2PM. I will admit that Super Junior can be a bit too ... feminine at times. But the (now six) boys of 2PM are anything but that. I say now six because the "leader" of the group has now left for an entirely-much-too-complicated-reason-for-me-to-even-get-into. (If you're curious, type "2PM Jaebeom" into any search engine, and you'll soon find your answers, as well as get a delicious eye full of [seriously] some of the hottest, muscular Korean men alive).

Back row: Chansung, Junsu, Wooyoung, Taekyeon
Front row: Junho, Jaebeom (departed), Nichkhun

I have a deep, deep crush on these boys. Their choreography is sick, their music is extremely addicting, and they aren't bad to look at, either. Which isn't always the most important thing, but it's a nice factor to include into the equation. I am very sad that Park Jaebeom has left the group, because the guy has a KILLER voice and he just oozes sex. And yes, that is an eight pack. I will miss not seeing him involved with 2PM, but on the plus side (as every dark cloud has a silver lining) this boy is: 1. American, 2. Back in Seattle. Which means that there is only the continental U.S. stopping me from stalking him, rather than the continental U.S. and the Pacific Ocean. (I kid, I kid. I'm too broke to go stalking Korean idols, and if I did have money, I'd be stalking any one of the Super Junior members or 2PM's Taekyeon).

Suggested 2PM songs: "Again and Again," and "10 Out of 10."

The other group that is somewhat involved with 2PM is 2AM. Catchy, huh? I have to admit, I haven't actually listened to any of their songs (yet), but they are on my list. However, this video has done more than enough to convince me to listen to them, and the hilarity of "leader" Jokwon's "English" skills has amused me endlessly.

I know I need help. I send clips and songs to my friends (namely one in particular, who we shall call from here on out The K-Pop Junkie) and they look at me as if I'm insane. And I can acknowledge why they think that. Hello, I am a white girl in love with Korean pop, completely and one-hundred percent addicted to it. It is my heroin, my alcohol. I need it like a crack junkie needs their next fix. American music just doesn't do it for me anymore, folks.

And it's not a serious addiction or anything that is hazardous to my health. Nothing like that. But when I catch and stop myself from answering "yes" in Korean (pronounced, "Ye," or "Ne") when my first language is English, that is a major problem.
Yours,
The K-Pop Addict