Let's just start off with this little tidbit: Remember the other day when I did that post on the MBLAQ teaser? I wrote, "Whether it be a ballad or whatever, you should pick the most muscular man in the group and make him wet by placing him in the shower or in the rain." Okay, well, GD isn't the most muscular in the group, but I find it highly entertaining that the video starts off with him in the rain (um, can you say GD Whisperer?).
Granted, he is fully clothed ... but he's still soaking wet nonetheless.
I will take fully clothed yet drenched in rain water G-Dragon any day. Really, any day. Because even if he were to get those dreadful curls back, the water would completely ruin them and make them fall and lose all their bounce. So, yeah ... GD in the rain, any day, any hairstyle.
Speaking of hairstyle, G Baby is looking damn good. I have absolutely ZERO complaints about his hair, which if you've read this blog for any amount of time or have read any GD-related post, you know it is very rare for me to not have at least one miniscule negative comment to say.
Completely and totally delicious. I don't want him to change a thing, but I know he will (because he's G-Dragon). He looked so damn good I didn't even realize until about half an hour ago that he was speaking English. That's either really sad on my part or really amazing on his part, depending on how you look at it. On the one hand, am I really that shallow where I don't pay attention to what someone is saying because they look so damn sex? On the other, to look so damn sex to the point where people don't even know what language you're speaking because they're distracted by your overwhelming sex appeal is a skill that one cannot learn, but is born with.
My oh my is King of Foreplay working the whole looking-damn-hot-in-a-graveyard thing. I've previously said I'd have sex with him in a rat infested alley, a disgusting junkyard, and you know what? I will totally do it with him in a graveyard. I'm sorry, I don't care what you think of me. He's Taeyang. I will gladly get on my knees before him and let him have his way with me, wherever, whenever.
And look, it seems that the King is rather excited about that idea:
Do you see it? I know you do. You might not have seen it while watching, but once you pause it ...
[I have to mention this or else someone will be extremely mad at me. You all (by now) know that The Boyfriend is a big Taeyang fanboy. He's so damn cute sometimes, other times it's obnoxious as all hell when Tae takes some priority over me. Anyway, since he is such a fanboy, he has been talking nonstop about the above jacket. If any of you know: a) who it's made by, b) where I could find it, email me. Thank you!]
Taeyang has had this little thing about him where he wears those big sunglasses that kind of look like something old people wear when they leave the eye doctor after having their pupils dialated. I don't get it.
What I really don't get about it, though, is that I find it so damn sexy. Is that normal to find old-people-glasses sexy? There really isn't anything normal about me to begin with, so I don't even know why I'm asking that question.
Mr. Happy ... oh good God you have no idea how much you confused me throughout the entire video. At first, all I could think about seeing you wearing that red coat in the graveyard was that you looked like you were in a prep school for adolescent boys. Then the second time around watching it, I decided that you would fit perfectly as an extra in The Dead Poets Society.
So, at first, I just laughed and thought you looked good and handsome. Then the video continued on ... this is when I became confused. Because you look really good drenched in the rain. Like, really good. So good that your nickname began to take on a strong PG-13, borderline R-rated meaning for me. This I cannot tolerate, Dae, for my sexually confused feelings for you may only occur once a month on BIGBANG Fridays. They cannot occur on any other day. I have a once a month free pass that I sometimes indulge in.
I feel like the Super Junior "Bonamana" MV all over again right about now. I just want some of my idols that I do not lust for. EVER. I do not want to lust for you, Daesung. I do not want to lust for you, Daesung. I do not want to lust for you, Daesung. (Because I know that someone will kill me if I do so I am just going to end all this talk about Dae altogether and move on because there are still two more members that I can actually lust over and talk about sexually without fearing for my life).
Seungri impressed me with how sleak sexy he looked. He's earned some points back, but unfortunately he is not shirtless so therefore he cannot be included in this month's BIGBANG Friday. Sad, I know. But bb needs to learn his lesson and be a good little maknae.
Regardless of his seemingly constant need to disobey all of our wishes and deprive us of some fleshy fan service, he's looking totally scrumptious in this MV. If he insists on not going shirtless and flaunting those abs we all know he has, at least he should have the decency to always wear a dress shirt, tie, and vest. Totally rip off Taeyang's style, but I don't care. He should always look like he walked right off the set of "Strong Baby," in my opinion.
Progress, Ri-Ri. Progress.
AND I DO NOT CARE WHAT YOU ALL SAY ABOUT SEX GOD'S HAIR. THE MAN IS SMOLDERING EXTREME AMOUNTS OF SEX IN THIS VIDEO. SO SHUT YOUR MOUTHS AND RESPECT THE ORIGINAL BADASS IN ALL HIS GLORY. YOU KNOW THAT NO OTHER RAPPER IN THE KOREAN MUSIC INDUSTRY IS AS BADASS AS THIS MAN RIGHT HERE. YOU KNOW THEY ALL SOUND LIKE BOYS BEFORE PUBERTY WHILE T.O.P SOUNDS LIKE A FUCKING MAN.
YOU GO AHEAD AND SMOKE THAT CIGAR, BB. BLOW THAT CANCER FOG ALL AROUND YOU. I DON'T CARE IF YOU CAN'T BREATHE WHEN YOU'RE EIGHTY. YOU'LL BE THE SEXIEST, WHEEZING, HACKING-UP-A-LUNG OLD MAN ON THE PLANET. EVEN IF YOU GET A LITTLE VOICE BOX THAT MAKES YOU SOUND LIKE A ROBOT, YOU'LL STILL BE THE BIGGEST BADASS, SMOLDERING SEX RAPPER IN KOREA, JUST WITH A DEEP, SWEET ASS ROBOT VOICE.
EVEN YOU COVERED IN BLOOD WITH A TOTAL RUFIO DYE-JOB IS BEYOND ANYTHING I COULD EVER THINK OF BEING SEXY. SERIOUSLY, T.O.P, WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO ME? WHY MUST YOU EXHIBIT EXTREME AMOUNTS OF SEX IN EVERYTHING YOU DO?
HOLY SHIT YOU'RE EVEN WEARING ONE LAYER. ONE LAYER OF CLOTHING. MY RETINAS CANNOT POSSIBLY HANDLE ABSORBING THIS MUCH PURE, RADIATING SEX COMING OFF OF YOUR BODY LIKE THAT CANCER FOG COMING OFF YOUR CIGAR. YOUR RADIATING SMOLDER SEX IS LIKE CANCER FOG TO THE RETINAS, BB.
Click here to watch "Tell Me Goodbye." You won't be disappointed!
TKPA
