Everything I've Missed All At Once

Oh, hello there! It's me, TKPA. I know, it's been so long since we've seen each other last. Did you cut your hair?


We all know I suck from time to time with this thing, but just because I have been absent from the K-Pop scene doesn't mean I've neglected it completely. Here is mostly everything I have missed:


Heechul Enlists, Army is Now Fierce

I have never been able to picture Heechul in the army. There is just a certain quality about him. I guess it's the fact that he likes to dress up as a Korean Lady Gaga -- and no, that is not a comment about his sexuality, it's a comment on how he likes to stand out. Heechul does not like to blend in and be "like everyone else." And in the Army ... that's pretty much all it's about.

So when it finally came time to say bye-bye to that perfect complexion, a lot of his fans were heartbroken and scared. I just kept thinking, "Why is everyone freaking out? His leg injury will land him a desk job." Because of the metal rod in his leg, I doubt that the South Korean Army would require him to do anything physical, anything in the field. So if North Korea throws a hissy fit (let's hope not), Heechul will be safe and sound.

Still, it's sad that Super Junior has to go yet another lengthy time period without yet another member in tow. I will miss Heechul and all of the outlandish, arrogant things he does and I can't wait until he returns (until then, how about ALL of Super Junior just go enlist at the same time so two years, done and over with and we can get back to making music).

And then there was ...

Heechul Finishes Activites ... Why Didn't Kangin?

I saw in a few tweets that some people were upset that before enlisting, Heechul completed all sorts of activities, even filmed a new music video ... yet Kangin didn't. Well, unless you count his hands in "Sorry Sorry (Answer)." Maybe I didn't get the whole story or why people were upset ... but Kangin wasn't technically allowed to be a part of any of Super Junior's activities. He was still placed on hiatus stemming from his two drunken indiscretions, making it impossible for him to be a part of anything.

And taking a shot in the dark here, but I think that maybe he also wasn't in the right frame of mind at that time, maybe he was a little depressed at his actions. And maybe because he had let so many people he cared about down, he decided he needed a change and needed a chance to better himself. Personally, I would much rather Kangin come back to Super Junior because he in his heart is ready and is passionate about it, not come back because the group's schedule demands it.

More important than physical health is mental health. Remember that.

Oh, and there was also ...

Jay Park Goes Blonde and Has a Bajillion Stupid Tattoos

Seriously, Jay? There's just so much all going on with all of this.

Like, first of all ... blonde looks very weird on you. I know some idols can pull that unnatural shade off ... but you are definitely not one of them. You look like you're going to eat my soul or some freaky horror movie shit. I'm sorry, I know a lot of you liked it, but to me it doesn't suit him well. We all make mistakes, it's just hair. Easily fixable.

These tattoos, on the other hand ... really?

I'm all for someone getting a tattoo, I have nothing against them. Just don't get something stupid and insignificant and dear God, think about placement.

Stars on your neck? Seriously? Tattoo profiling here, but that makes me think that you are either: a) a stripper who has had drug problems and is trying to live a "clean" life, but can't seem to find an actual day job, b) a white girl from the suburbs who is auditioning for Step Up 12, c) a guest on Jerry Springer. Stars on the neck are as TRASHTASTIC as you can get.

The AOM tattoo ... okay, I get that it is something very meaningful and important to you (unlike the stars which is just fucking stupid) ... but the placement of it ... dude. Come on. You're killing me. Behind the ear? That is where girls get tattoos because they want to rebel and think "no one will ever see it because my hair will cover it, but just knowing it's there is good enough." STOP GETTING CHICK TATTOOS IN CHICK PLACES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. I like the AOM tattoo because it's significant, but behind the ear?!

You're not gangster, Jay. If anything you remind me of the little bleach blond Chinese man in Rush Hour.

And I do not get this tattoo, nor can I even read it. All I can see is "Forever" and everything else is just a blurry mess. Down the forearm? Again, you're killing me. Did anyone close to you, as you were in the tattoo shop, the stenciled placement on your arm as you look in the mirror to see that it's in the right place, stop you and say, "Hey, you're going to be old one day. You're going to be wrinkly and shriveled and these tattoos are going to look like shit and you're going to scare your grandchildren, who will forever wonder if you were an infamous drug dealer in Korea?"

I hope you read this, Jay. And I hope you take my words into consideration as you ponder your next tattoo, which I strongly believe should be "Fuck You TKPA." I will put that on my Christmas cards for all eternity.


Speaking of Blondes and Tattoos ...

You all know how much I love G-Dragon, and that means that because I love him so much more than others (I'd say he's definitely in my top three), I have to be that much harder on him. There's no favoritism here!

I actually like this. I don't like it on the forearm, but it's different and it's artsy, which describes GD completely. I think it could have been placed somewhere else, but I don't have a big problem with it. I have a bigger problem with what he's wearing -- I didn't know that cut off bermuda shorts were popular with the men in Korea.

However ...

I had no idea what the hell this was. To be honest, I still have no idea. I was never into Dragon Ball Z, if that is even where this is from. I do not know if there's any significance to it, this honestly confuses the hell out of me. It really does. I don't really like it (partly because I don't understand it) but I will admit that I do think it's stupid.

More importantly, I just wanted to post a picture of G-Nips on the blog.

I have also heard that he had three tattoos done ... and so far we've seen two. So if that rumor is actually true and there is one more piece of body art left to be discovered, what is it and where is it located? Any thoughts on what it could be?

And could someone please tell me what this second tattoo means?


TAE TAE ALTERED THE FAUX HAWK. RED ALERT. RED ALERT.

It was like the Earth was going to implode or something when Taeyang dyed the tips of his legendary faux hawk a dirty blonde.

When I first heard about it, I thought he changed his whole hairstyle. And I was so scared because there is only so much that boy can do with the existing amount of hair he has, so I honestly believed he shaved his head. And I was about to cry because baldy Tae Tae is not acceptable. Then I saw that my beloved little spikey 'do was still intact, just freshened up a bit.

Quite frankly, I could care less if he dyed it rainbow colors. Just as long as he doesn't have a bald head or corn rows or dreads. Anything else, I'm good with.


Tae Tae's Older Brother -- Hot or Eh?

I know some of you think Taeyang's older brother is hot and gorgeous and looks just like Tae ... I don't see it. I mean, they have the same eyes ... but that's about it. Taeyang -- in my opinion -- is way hotter and definitely twenty times more gorgeous than this brother. You don't have to agree, that's fine. And if you want to jump the Tae ship and go after his bro, thinking "I'll never get Tae, but his brother looks enough like him so it doesn't matter," .... well, one you're an awful human being. And two, that's less competition for me, so go ahead and be awful so I can have Tae Tae all to myself.

He's cute, I don't think that family can produce ugly ... but I'm too obsessed with Tae to settle.

I'm willing to sacrifice my claim in the oldest brother so that you all may have equal fighting and sharing rights. How selfless of me, I know.


One Way: Peter, Young Sky ... Where's My Chance? (WARNING: ALL CAPS)

WHERE IS MY KOREAN JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE AND WHY ISN'T HE IN THE ONE WAY TRIO ANYMORE?

WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON HERE? WHAT HAPPENED? I HAVEN'T BEEN AWAY THAT LONG HAVE I?

WHY DON'T PETER AND SKY TALK TO CHANCE ANYMORE ON TWITTER? WHY ISN'T HE IN THEIR COVERS? AND IF HE ISN'T IN ONE WAY, WHY IS HIS TWITTER NAME STILL "ONEWAYCHANCE"? DOES HE THINK WE WON'T LOVE HIM ANYMORE IF THEY ADMIT HE ISN'T IN THE GROUP?

OR IS HE JUST PULLING A BEYONCE AND JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE AND DOING SOME PRODUCING ON HIS OWN RIGHT NOW BUT HE'LL BE BACK SOON MAKING BEAUTIFUL MUSIC WITH PETER AND SKY AND MAKE MY EARS GO TINGLE TINGLE EVERY TIME HE SINGS?

I NEED CHANCE IN MY LIFE, GUYS. I NEED ALL THREE ONE WAY BOYS IN 1/3 DOSES.

EVEN CHANCE'S BROTHER DOESN'T HAVE "CHANCE FROM ONE WAY'S BRO" IN HIS TWITTER INFO ANYMORE. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?

THEY'VE TURNED ME INTO A CRAZY PERSON. I NEED HIS BEAUTIFUL VOICE AND I NEED PETER'S VOICE AND I NEED SKY'S RAPS. THEY ALL WORK TOGETHER PERFECTLY AND THAT IS WHY WE LOVE THEM.

I'm going to cry :(

Seriously, those are all legit questions and I really hope that whatever is going on between them, they are able to work out and continue making great music together and continue making us adore them. Though we all want to know what is going on, I know that it isn't our place to know and that it is a private matter between the three of them. I will say that even if they are splitting up and they will no longer be the trio we've all come to love and connect with, I and many others will continue to support and love all of them.

Like many fans, I not only appreciate One Way because of their music, but because of their dedication to their fans. Sure, they hadn't been the most popular in Korea, but by reaching out to us on Twitter, they gained fans from all over and connected with us. I really am appreciative for that, because not many of our favorite idols are able to reply to us, and if they do it is only to a handful of people very rarely.

If the guys are reading this (not likely, but you never know; for all I know Peter could have bookmarked the blog so he'd know if anymore "bomb" cookies were on his way to him), I do hope that whatever happened between you is worked out. Not for the fans, but for yourselves and the friendship you all have.

Until then I'll wait patiently for the answers and hope that this is all just a rough patch.


Who the Eff is Heart2Heart?

So I haven't been the most active lately, but as you can see I have been paying attention to what is going on. And I've been seeing a lot of people on Twitter talking about "Heart2Heart" and I have been so confused as to who these guys are and why they're relevant to K-Pop.

And then I found out that the guy who is doing their mixing, also did it for BIGBANG and 2NE1. And THEN I found out that they are like the little proteges for Lance freaking Bass and I was like HELL YES. Because you should all know by now that *NSYNC covered my walls in my teeny bopper years, that I went to EVERY tour, and when/if JT ever gets his head out of his ass, I will be the first in line to buy tickets to a reunion tour, because *NSYNC kicks BSB's ass any day. They were and will always be my ultimate bias.

So, anyway ... the affliation with Lance has me hooked. I don't need to know anymore about these guys, they have the stamp of approval in my book.

But just for kicks ... from left to right, their ranking on the TKPA Hot-o-Meter (sucky name, but it does the job!) from 1-10:

Brayden: 5 (Don't dig the blonde hair, blue eyes look)
Nico: 10 (Helloooo)
Chad: 8 (You look a little too douchey for my liking, but still hot)
Pete: 5 (Blonde hair, blue eyes)
KX: 10 (Helloooooooooooooooooooo)

Oh, if only you were actually Korean, I could blog about KX and Nico all the time. So sad.


My Super Junior Babies ARE ON FIRE

HOLY SHIT GUYS.

THIS IS AMAZING.

PURE AMAZING.

TOO MUCH AUTOTUNE, BUT I DON'T CARE.

FINALLY SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T SOUND OR LOOK LIKE "SORRY SORRY."

I am sooooo incredibly stoked and giddy and excited about this. You have no idea. They all look so sexy and FLAWLESS and the song itself is sexy and powerful and gets you amped up. It's PERFECT. ABSOLUTELY PERFECTION.

You know looks really hot in this, not just hot but really good? Shindong. Whatever he's been doing, keep it up, because he looks slim and confident and that's always sexy. Siwon ... holy crap I almost lost it. He looks scary sexy, like sinister sexy. And Leeteuk ... oh, yes please! THEY ALL LOOK SO AMAZING I WANT TO KIDNAP AND KEEP THEM ALL.

I want more of THIS from SuJu. This is what they should have given us instead of "Mr. Simple." That was too much like "Sorry Sorry" and I wanted to see what else they can do without it saying, "Remember us? We did that one song that everyone loved! If you loved that, you'll love this too!"

They just showed me what else they can do, and now I will shut up and watch this a thousand more times because I honestly cannot get enough of this.


Memories of Korea

The other day I had a follower say he sent me an email and wanted me to take a look at a video he compiled about his recent trip to Korea.

It's a really great way to show life in South Korea and you should take the time to watch it. Follow Pat at @patleezy on Twitter and, rather than comment here what you thought about it, tell him. I'm sure he'll appreciate the direct feedback.

So this ends my massively long blog post, and you should all be commenting your little butts off because I have literally been typing this for three hours straight. So comment, retweet, send to all of the people that have been mentioned in this post (because like always, I will do the same and if they see the same link sent fifty times, they're bound to see it).

Have a great day and a great rest of the week if I don't have a chance to get on here again (maybe Thursday, but we'll see!)

TKPA