Where's the Simple Part?

I finally had a chance to watch Super Junior's new MV for "Mr. Simple" this morning, and kind of having mixed feelings about it. I love seeing my first k-pop love again, seeing new things from them ... but at the same time there was no much that I felt wasn't "new."

It threw me for a loop in the beginning of the MV, when Siwon is focused in on and then Heechul walks by and then Kyuhyun is standing where Siwon should be. To be honest, I looked away for one quick second and the next thing I know Kyuhyun was there. Then I couldn't believe that I mistook Kyu for Siwon and I honestly thought I was a bad fan because I didn't recognize him -- my favorite maknae of all-time (shhhh, don't tell P.O!).

And then Donghae walks by and again, I was so freaking distracted by watching Eunhyuk's jacket fly through the air and magically glide up his arms and onto his shoulders that I didn't notice after Hae walks by the Kyu turns back into Siwon. So at the end I just see Siwon standing there and I'm like "WTF NO YOU WEREN'T THERE!"

SME, why you making us fangirls feel like we're losing our minds?

Then again I have a crappy attention span.

The video starts and I have to admit ... not much of a giddy, excited reaction this time around. Although I did have to replay the beginning a few times because I swear as soon as Leeteuk says, "Hey, I'm Mr. Simple," there is a sound-bite of the Facebook chat notification, that "pop."

But once everything starts and the lights are flashing, distracting you from their choreography -- which is absolutely plain in comparison to previous MVs -- I can see where a lot of people have compared it to "Sorry, Sorry" and "Bonamana." It's the same beat, same sound. And I think because of the fact that "Sorry, Sorry" was such a massive hit, they want to try to duplicate that success, so by making their first singles off these last two albums sound identical to the beat of "Sorry, Sorry" they think they'll have another hit on their hands.

The choreography is really good in some parts, like I love the "x dance" as some of you are calling it. But as for the chorus, it truly is like the "da da da da da da da da da" circle motion in "Sorry, Sorry," only they are standing still and doing it slower.

It's a new song, a new album, a new look for every single one of them ... give us something fresh and exciting.

As far as look goes ... perfect. No complaints at all from me (which you should all know by now is seldom).

Perfect.

 

Perfect.

And as far as Leeteuk goes ...

Yes, please.

Like I said, I like the song a lot, not particularly crazy about the video, but I'm really happy that Super Junior is back once again and I'm so excited to see more from them.

And if I'm not mistaken, I think one of the producers that took part in that atrocious ELF anthem called me out via Twitter and said he'd really like to hear my review for "Got Your Number."

Oh, bring it.

Check out the new MV for Super Junior's "Mr. Simple."

TKPA

THANK YOU, SM ENTERTAINMENT!

YOU KNOW HOW TO MOLD YOUR BOYS INTO PURE SEX!

Fuck, I love you, Eunhyuk. I mean, I'm not crazy about the whole French clown make-up thing you have going on. Quite honestly it's creeping me out just a bit and making me see you as a mime.

But that's why I am not focusing on your face and instead am looking at your naked torso with suspenders.

I really need to buy The Boyfriend some suspenders now.

TKPA

Oh, Sweet Shisus! Super Junior is Back!

I have been waiting for this day. I have been waiting for my ridiculously-numbered biases to come back. And of course, it being Super Junior, there is very little room for disappointment.

I know some people have criticized "Bonamana" and are taking a disliking to it ... all I can say to you is that you will change your mind, because I fully believe that Super Junior has this tiny little subliminal message in the form of ear cocaine embedded into each and every song. You will come to love "Bonamana." I guarantee it.

Last night the MV was released, and I didn't watch it until about five in the morning. And I know I have not covered ANY music video by way of spazzing blog post since BIGBANG released "Let Me Hear Your Voice." But it's freaking Super Junior and I love them and pretty much credit my entire addiction and this blog to them. So if you love me and this blog, you should be very thankful for the largest boy band in the world.

Let me start off by saying that I want all ten of them to take turns on a little spinning pedastal in the corner of my bedroom, lights shining all over their body. Mainly, (and I cannot believe I'm saying this, because it's just SO not me), I want Sungmin and Heechul rotating, because ... well ... they look pretty damn sexy.

I cannot believe I just said Heechul and Sungmin are sexy. This video has me all sorts of sexually confused right now. But I retract the previous opinion that Heechul's hair looks ridiculous and he's ugly, because it now actually looks good on him.

And it makes me happy to know that Leeteuk is showing flesh. And lots of flesh. In fact, just a jacket, nothing underneath it. I know that The Boyfriend really hates Teuk. No, he really hates him. He actually watched the video before I was able to, and while he credited the choreography and said he liked it a lot (he is a dancer and is pretty much the biggest fanboy to Taeyang), he also said there was a lot of "stupid parts" like "wearing a jacket with no shirt underneath. Is that necessary?" I of course not having seen the video, didn't know he was talking about Teuk. Now that I know, I think it's hilarious and adorable.

BUT DO YOU KNOW WHO CAUGHT MY ATTENTION MORE THAN ANYONE? MORE THAN TEUK FLESH? THAT ADORABLE LITTLE SEXY ASS GEEK, KYUHYUN.

Seriously ... I always thought when the day came that Teuk showed endless amounts of flesh, no other Super Junior member or K-Pop idol could distract me. But damn that Kyuhyun and the fact that he's pure sex in the video and now he has become one of the main dancers ... holy shit. There are good things in your future, Kyu. Very, very, VERY good things.

They all look so amazing and delicious. And I think I speak for all of you when I say the best dance move occurs between 0:55-0:58. Am I right or what? (Someone make a .gif and send it to me ASAP!!)

Although it is not the same with only ten members, I am ridiculously excited for the comeback stage and the live performances and the constant media-whoring these boys will do. Because you know damn well that Super Junior is compiled of attention whores. And that's why I love them.

Check out "Bonamana" and try not to drool on your keyboard.

TKPA

Say Whaaat?

Normally, "Say Whaaat?" is reserved for Mondays and Thursdays, but I seriously could not wait until Monday to do this so you're getting it on a Friday and you'll like it!

Leeteuk: I'm on a boat motherfucker, take a look at me. Straight floatin on a boat on the deep blue sea. Busting five knots, wind whipping out my coat. You can't stop me motherfucker 'cause I'm on a boat.

Yesung: Take a picture, trick. I'm on a boat, bitch. We drinkin' Santana champ 'cause it's so crisp. I got my swim trunks and my flippy-floppies. I'm flippin' burgers, you at Kinko's straight flippin' copies.

Han Geng: I'm ridin' on a dolphin, doin' flips and shit. The dolphin's splashing, gettin' everybody all wet. But this ain't Sea World, this is real as it gets. I'm on a boat, motherfucker, don't you ever forget.

Donghae: I'm on a boat, and, it's going fast, and, I got a nautical themed Pashmina afghan. I'm the king of the world, on a boat like Leo. If you're on the shore, then you're sure not me-oh.

Eunhyuk: Fuck land, I'm on a boat, motherfucker! Fuck trees, I climb buoys, motherfucker! I'm on the deck with my boys, motherfucker! This boat engine make noise, motherfucker!

Siwon: Shisus does not approve.

And for those of you who have lived under a rock, you should watch this.

TKPA

Watch This MV When ...

I know you've seen "Rokkugo" by Super Junior-T. How could you not? It's ridiculously cracktastic overload.

I hate this video and song so much. It drives me insane, repeating "Rokkugo" over and over in my head when I really do not want it in there in the first place. There are a few times in life when I know I have to watch this MV and listen to the song.

1. Whenever I feel angry towards someone else, I watch it to make me laugh hysterically.
2. Whenever I feel down, I watch it to make me laugh hysterically.
3. Whenever I am in need of a pick-me-up, I watch it to make me laugh hysterically.
4. Whenever I am bored, I watch it to make me laugh hysterically.
5. Whenever I feel like laughing hysterically, I watch it to make me laugh hysterically.

And it's amazing how I do not cry when I see how ridiculous they all look, at the overdose of cheese factor surrounding the whole thing.

"Rokkugo" is the result of Leeteuk, Heechul, Kangin, Shindong, Eunhyuk, and Sungmin all high on crack and with a video camera.

I bet if every single person on the planet watched this MV once a daily, like a vitamin, there'd be a lot less anger, hate, and sadness in the world. Instead, there'd be millions of tears from laughing so hard.

TKPA

Valeska's Guest Blog!

Super Junior Sex, The Latest Subgroup of Super Junior

Author’s note: 99% of this story was written before Han Geng requested for termination of his exclusive contract. I don’t take sides in this case. However, Han Geng will forever be my favorite China man. No matter what.

Hallelujah! A new subgroup has been added to Super Junior family and this subgroup is called SJ-S a.ka Super Junior Sex.

Why Sex?

Because instead of targeting the Chinese market like Super Junior Mandarin (SJ-M) or even the elders like Super Junior Trot (SJ-T), SJ-S is targeting the sexually-frustrated girls (*cough*including me *cough*) market. Sex is what they show us and sex is what we aim for.

SJ-S is a 4-members group, consisted of Han Geng a.ka Chinese Thrust Machine, Eunhyuk a.ka Sir Pops-A-Lot, Siwon a.ka Abmighty Shisus, and Henry a.ka Juicy Angel Lips. These are the four guys that can make you forget the threesome concept, as you will welcome the fivesome concept, which sounds more awesome.

The upcoming promotional single will be a catchy song which is full of groans, moans, and all the sexual sounds that can turn you on. You can imagine Siwon's bass voice singing some R&B tunes or Henry's rap in perrrrfect English blend together beautifully. The single may not be suitable to be listened to at night times (alone in your room and listening to some sexy creatures singing sexy tunes? That's frustrating), but who cares? We enjoy our frustration of sex.

Well, at least I know I do.

As I've mentioned before, sex is what they show us. I expect that the MV will be freaking hot as hell, 10 times hotter than "Sorry Sorry Answer" MV. You do realize that Chinese Thrust Machine looks so gorgeous with a prestigious Jaguar in that MV, right? In this upcoming MV of SJ-S, he will once again drive a Jaguar and probably will make love in the backseat of the car.

No, not with this woman. I can ensure you that he won't make love with this woman.

Speaking of hot Chinese men, I won’t leave Juicy Angel Lips out of the talk, of course. His transformation from a cute, innocent boy to a damn hot and tempting man has amazed me. Juicy Angel Lips has officially become The Canadian Sex Symbol. He’s a multi-talented guy. He speaks four languages, he can play the piano very well, he can sing, he’s also a dancing-machine, and everyone knows about his incredible ability in playing the violin. In conclusion, he’s more amazing than the Niagara Falls.

Pretty Pretty Princess: Let me tell you something, kid. Show ‘em your angry-sex face. They’re gonna love it.

Juicy Angel Lips: Will do, Your Majesty.

I also expect to see SJ-S doing some irritatingly inviting dance moves that will trigger my primitive lust to raise. Since chest-popping will be so 2000 late, I hope Sir Pops-A-Lot will come up with a brighter idea for the group, like crotch-popping, for example. I love it when Sir Pops-A-Lot puts his hand on his crotch and pop it like crazy.

Damn, you can thrust it into me, love. You are most welcome.

Last, but not least, the Abmighty Shisus. I have no idea about his image in SJ-S. He is sexy, always has been and always will be. Maybe he will show a much sexier image that your brain will explode once you see him dancing, half naked.

SJ-S has to be on numerous of variety shows. They will be epic. Sir Pops-A-Lot will be the spotlight of the show (Hyukkiegayo, anyone?) while Abmighty Shisus will show his legendary Shibrows here, there, and everywhere. I don’t know what you think of Shibrows, but I think they are amazing.

Now, if you excuse me, I will buy a one-way ticket to Seoul. Soon I will hijack SM Entertainment office and become the new CEO of SM Entertainment. You will be grateful. I’ll send SJ-S to America and Europe for world tour. Happy?

I bet you are. Even Chinese Thrust Machine is happy.

TKPA Endnote: This. Was. Fucking. Amazing. Thanks Valeska!

Uti's Guest Blog: Baby Daddy Rally

WARNING! If you do not want to have the sudden urge to have children in the near time, I strongly recommend you to not read this. This post is not suitable for those with sensitive ovaries.

Welcome to the Baby Daddies Rally! You’re lucky to witness this, because this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Here I will lay down, one by one, how these charming men will become great fathers. Then you can add in your own thoughts on who is going to be the best Baby Daddy.

We’ll start with the first one, Leeteuk!

I’m sure you’re all taking a moment of silence at the moment to appreciate how loving he looks with that baby. The way he puts his hand protectively on that baby just makes my ovaries twitch out of control and look at his smile! He looks so content just to lay down beside the baby and my God! He looks like he won’t let go of that little angel. That polaroid is exactly the kind of thing you’re going to put in blue album and show around your kids when they’re older. “Look at your handsome daddy taking care of you so much.”

Can you feel it? Have your ovaries started to rebel? Well, you’d better be calm, because this guy is TKPA’s only. I’m sure if she were the one who wrote this, she’d have plenty to comment on the picture. Therefore, keep your ovaries still, because you haven’t seen the rest of the Baby Daddies yet.

Next Baby Daddy, Big Booty Junee.

Now this one definitely got the exact thing I’m craving for in a Baby Daddy. He’s lost completely in playing with his kid! xD Look at him getting all pinky with that little girl. Look at how he holds the little girl’s hand, keeping her safe when she’s about to fall. And the girl looks so happy! I can see him clearly playing with my kids in the backyard. They’d be laughing and having fun, while I’d be on the side ready with drinks and snacks to fill us in the afternoon. He wouldn’t stop throwing jokes, making the kids and I laugh all day. Isn’t that a pretty picture?

Oh, yes. I know your ovaries are starting to rebel. However, let’s move on to the next Baby Daddy, Sir Pops-A-Lot.

Damn, the sensation of looking at that picture is equal to looking at Sir Pops-A-Lot’s chestpops on repeat. It looks like he’s kissing the baby in slow motion, making sure he wouldn’t break the fragile little thing. And the baby looks so peaceful sleeping in his arms… I can hear you sighing in awe staring at this moment. I bet he’d be a very loving father to his kids, always worry, and never let his kids out of his sight. I, being a playful mother, would urge our kids to have some fun under the rain, and he, being a protective father, would get angry at me for not thinking about the kids’ health. Then, he would rush to save the kids and quickly take them to the warmth of our house. *sigh* He handles children like they’re the most precious things in the whole world and nothing else matters.
 
I can hear some ovaries yelling. I’m not going to stop yet. Please welcome, Nichkhun.
 

 
Now that is one rockstar Baby Daddy! I feel like screaming along with my ovaries everytime I see this. Don’t they look cute? I feel like pulling Nichkhun down, no matter the time, no matter where we are. I just want us to make babies in every chance we have. I’ll bear lots of babies just to see Nichkhun kiss them every morning like he kisses that boy. He levels down just so he can wrap his arm protectively and kiss the little prince. Looking at the boy’s expression, it’s as though he’s saying, “Aw, Dad, don’t kiss me in front of these people. I’m a big boy!” And Nichkhun would point at me who was making dinner and said to the boy, “Your Mom never complains when I kiss her every minute of every day.” Then they would laugh at the loving jokes only shared by the two of them.
 
Darn, my ovaries’ rebellion is starting to get nasty. But we still have Abmighty Shisus on the list.
 

 
And now that is one handsome portrait of a daddy and his boy. The kind where you took it candid and then exhibited it in the living room for everyone to see. Abmighty Shisus looks so ready to be a father, doesn’t he? He can provide the best of everything for his kids, thanks to the fact that his family is an owner of one of the three largest department stores in Korea, which already has twelve branches and soon about to add six more. His kids will be the most pampered little princes in the whole world. Look at the boy’s face! “Daddy, why did you buy me this plastic guitar? Didn’t I tell you I wanted a Fender?” the boy said smugly. Then, Abmighty Shisus answered wisely, “There, there, boy, what does the bible tell you about patience? Just be content with your plastic guitar. I’ll buy you hundreds of Fender when you’ve grown to be as gigantic as me.” Oh, yes. They would be the envy of the town. A king and his heir. I, as the queen of the house, would just have to wait nicely in bed. Ready to make more babies with Abmigthy Shisus just because we can afford it.
 
There, there, calm down, girls. We’ve come to the last Baby Daddy. Here is Manly Minho!
 

 
Sorry, wrong picture xD (Totally on purpose. I just can’t help sharing this picture of Minho’s soon-to-be-six-pack-abs and happy trail with you).
 

 
Please forgive my bias, but I really can spazz forever just based on this picture only. Do you see what I see? Manly Minho is going to be a man soon and he’s so ready to make many babies with me. I can hear my ovaries screaming hysterically looking at Manly Minho with a bunch of kids. Look at his muscles! So firm, carrying that boy. And the boy looks so happy! The little prince doesn’t need to know that the strong arms carrying him are the same ones that carry to me bed everynight. All he needs to know is how an affectionate daddy Manly Minho can be. Look at him feeding the kid. Look at him playing with the kid. Look at him teaching the kids on how to wash their hands properly. Look at him smiling! He’s happy to be around children. The children are sure happy to have his company. He would take our kids to play soccer everyday, being the great soccer player he is. Our kids would be that kind of kids who brag at school about how cool their dad is. Dear Lord, yes, my womb is ready to bear Manly Minho’s many kids.
 
And that finally wraps up our Baby Daddies Rally today! Your ovaries won’t be able to handle it if I give you more pictures of Korean men with kids. Who is your pick? Who do you think is the best Baby Daddy? Leave Leeteuk out of it, because he’s TKPA’s. Leave Manly Minho out of it, because he’s mine!

Author’s note: Thank you, TKPA, for letting me guest-blog. Thank you @vanxiaoyi for Nichkhun’s pic ;D

TKPA Blog Contest - First Place

This was amazing! First place goes to Valeska! Congratulations!


I've always believed that dancers are great in bed. So, within that precious and memorable 24 hours, I would spend some fun activities in bed with Eunhyuk. Aside from doing everything else, of course.

I would start my day in the morning by meeting up with Eunhyuk at a coffee shop. We'd just have a casual chit-chat (about things that we’d love to do later on, at night). I believe that his Engrish has improved these 3 years, so there wouldn't be "nice weather" bullshit in our conversation. And no, no sexual activities would be involved (it’s a public place, remember? I couldn't let him teasing me by kissing and sucking my neck while I drink my coffee since it could cause a chaos beneath my jeans).

After having such a fun breakfast, we'd get a cab to the airport and book a ticket to Osaka right away. Sudden short vacation would be a fun thing to do. And since he'd be spending his time with me, it would be one hell of a vacation.

As soon as we arrived in Osaka (no sex on plane, no snakes on plane too), we'd go straightly to the Universal Studios. It would be splendid to go to the place I've always wanted to go with the man of my (dirty) fantasy. I’m sure Eunhyuk would be enjoying all the attractions there. We could steal a kiss or two (four kisses are still considerable anyway) inside the Back to the Future ride, as long as no little kids around us.

The fun would not end there. Going to Japan would feel incomplete without going to Tokyo. We’d book another flight to Tokyo after done with the fun at the Universal Studios.

We’d go to Tokyo Tower as soon as we landed, to see the beauty of Tokyo at night. Eunhyuk would be hugging me from the back, whispering some Japanese love stories and, of course, Japanese jokes. Even though I might not be getting his jokes all the time, I’d be happy enough to feel the warmth of his cheek. It’d be like an introduction to the warmth of his other body parts (including THAT one, if you know what I mean).

As night gets darker, surely less people would be around. Eunhyuk would grab my hand and drag me to one corner. He’d make sure that we would be invisible from anyone’s sight, then he’d start kissing my lips. This time would be longer and deeper than the one (oh wait, the four..) we had when we were in the Universal Studios.

The night has just begun …

When suddenly an announcement could be heard thru the speakers : all the visitors are expected to leave because it is time to close. I’d smile and tell him that I’m glad we haven’t take any of our clothes off. Eunhyuk would show his gummy smile and respond “I’ll rip your clothes as soon as we have a place to stay for the night.”

I could feel every part of my body squealing happily to hear that.

We’d stay at a motel with a clean room (which would be dirty the next morning...), one small bed (FYI, I can always come up with brilliant ideas in a limited space), and one bathroom.

Eunhyuk would do the thing that he promised me before: ripping my clothes off. With his teeth. He’s truly a man of his word.

He would put Fourplay’s "Let’s Make Love" on repeat and I’d have to admit that it’s the best backsound ever. Eunhyuk would keep telling me jokes that would make me giggling between my moans. I’d make him scream and forget about the proper grammar in return. He’d talk gibberish because of that. All I could hear would be just “fuck…yours….where is…”

Definitely no sleep for both of us.

We’d still have some bread and strawberry milk left for breakfast, so we’d decide to have breakfast in bed, which actually lead to another game…

And there would be a body-heat exchange on our flight back home. Turns out that dancers are also great in passenger seats.

Sir Pops-a-Lot's Angry-Sex Face

I was going to put this on Twitter, but I decided that it's too damn good not to write about.

Sir Pops-a-Lot sure does have quite the angry-sex face going on, doesn't it? And with how hard he's hitting those chest pops, it might as well be his hips thrusting. It's a preview of just how fierce sex with him is going to be.

Too bad he doesn't believe in premarital, which is why dear Hyukie has been in my BFF category. If anyone can disprove that, though, he will definitely find a new home.

TKPA

Say Whaaat?

Dirrrty Geek: Come on, fangirls! Throw me your bras!

Sir Pops-a-Lot: Hey, hey! You gotta share, man!

Ryeowook: I want one too, Kyu.

Kangin: Fools. Lingerie is better.

Thanks to @nengvaleska for sending in the picture and caption!

TKPA

Eunhyuk the BFF

The JV Squad for Super Junior's baby daddy list has been decided. Kangin previously was transferred to the Be My Boyfriend category (which I stand by regardless of recent events).

That just leaves Eunhyuk. I tried picturing him in certain categories, but because of the whole no-pre-marital thing, it severely limits where he can be placed. I mean, I can't go against a guy's moral and religious beliefs.

That's why he's in the BFF category.

I can see myself having an absolute blast with Hyuk. His sense of humor is amazing, so there would be endless amounts of laughter coming from me. I'd love to make this guy laugh for no reason, and I feel confident in saying that I can have him in hysterics for no reason. (It's true, I can make people laugh just by laughing). Hyuk can also teach me how to dance. And I'd no doubt have him rolling on the floor in the dance studio  with my ... um, skills ... or lack thereof. He'd have his work cut out for him, that's for sure.

The most important thing about Hyuk is that he's sensitive and sweet. He's the most gullible out of all the members, which makes him a prime target for hidden camera pranks. But his heart is pure gold and he truly cares about everyone around him. A friend like that will always be cherished.

And of course, I can't forget the fact that whenever we see each other, he will have a Light & Fluffy to hand over to me. Because we both love Smoothie King. It's a common interest.

TKPA

I'm Revising the Baby-Daddy-To-Be Lists

Let me say, first and foremost, I love children ... that are a part of my family. Earlier today I watched my two nieces, who are only eleven months apart in age. It's so hectic, I don't know how many times I wanted to cry from sheer helplessness. Put one down, she cries. Put the non-crying one down to pick the crying one up, even more crying ensues ... mostly from me.

I do love kids, but I'm an incredibly impatient person, and when you're dealing with two little babies who don't really understand what's going on, and who want your undivided attention ... man, I want to cry just thinking about it. There's is absolutely no freaking way that I could handle seven, potentially nine children.

No. Freaking. Way.

Therefore the Super Junior, 2PM, and BIGBANG Baby-Daddy-To-Be Lists are going to go under some massive revision, and only one man from each group is going to come out on top. Don't expect this complete list to come out any time soon, because it took me how long to decide between the BIGBANG boys? Yeah, I can't make important decisions too hastily.

And these are extremely important decisions.

So, will it be Leeteuk, Donghae, Kyuhyun, Eunhyuk, or Kangin for the Super Junior list? Sexy Beast Taek or the scrumptious Nichkhun for 2PM? G-Dragon and T.O.P. are not looking forward to this revision, I can assure you of that. Those two are already fighting over my love, affection, and gene pool. (Side note: I find it highly improbable that Ji-Yong could win in a fight against T.O.P., like in the "Haru Haru" video. Just impossible).

Many sleepless nights filled with deliberation ahead of me ...

... yeah, right.

TKPA

Sunglasses: The Korean Idol's Favorite Accessory

As I mentioned earlier in my post about Se7en, sunglasses generally tend to increase sex appeal in men. Maybe it's the whole, you-can't-really-see-me-but-I-can-see-you thing. Okay that kind of sounded a bit creepy, actually. I take that back.

But there is something about it that draws me to them. It seems that whenever I click on a picture of a delicious piece of man candy, and he's wearing sunglasses, my computer just releases pheromones. Yes, pheromones. I don't know why my precious TOSHI decides to do this to me, but he does it and it's getting to be a tad ridiculous.

Heechul is normally very pretty. I never thought I would ever describe him to be manly, oh-good-God-take-me-now kind of hot. When those sunglasses are on his face, covering up majority of his milky-white skin ... I definitely do describe him as that.

No sunglasses, pretty. Sunglasses, holy hot, Batman.

Even my precious Eunhyuk heightens his sex appeal whenever he puts on some shades. True, this boy is some sort of chest-popping beast when on stage and when he's dancing. He's probably killer in the bedroom (you know, if he believed in premarital sex and all. Still waiting on clarification to see if it's true or not), because with moves like his, he'd have to be. So Eunhyuk isn't generically handsome, but his jaw has convinced me otherwise. And when he combines his jaw with sunglasses ... dear God.

Sexy without. Sex God with.

Seriously, how the hell do all you fan-girls in Asia handle it? My lack of proximity to the boys in South Korea is a blessing and a curse.

Boys ... always wear sunglasses. Just not around me, because I'd so rip your clothes off with my teeth.

TKPA

Asian Men and Their Jaw-o-Heaven

You know how certain guys have that square jaw that sort of juts out, popping out of the side of their head so fierce that it makes you catch your breath as you marvel over their perfect genetics and wonder if you were to procreate with that man at that very moment, would the son you'd spawn have that same jaw?

I have come to the conclusion that 90% of Asian men (not just Koreans) have that specific type of jaw. I love that jaw.

A plethora of my favorite idols have it: Leeteuk, Eunhyuk, Siwon, Zhou Mi, Donghae has a hint of one, G-Dragon, T.O.P., Taeyang, Sexy Beast Taek, Park Jaebeom, just to name a FEW.

Even a non K-Pop idol, a Japanese-American actor has it (whom I am also infatuated with and refuse to name names, because the chances of him reading this are ten times more probable and more likely than any of the aforementioned sex gods. He knows who he is). And oh yes, I marvel over its ability to pop out of the side of his face.

You name a hot idol, chances are they have that jaw. Minimize this screen right now and look at your background (because you know damn well your boytoy is gracing your computer screen with his presence) and check out his jaw.

Bless those Asian genes.

TKPA

Lee Hyuk-jae is a King

I don't know what I love more. The fact that Eunhyuk clearly transported himself back into the 1940s and picked up a few fashion tips:

This makes me believe that he could play Noah
in the Korean version of The Notebook.

Or that he is indulging in the greatest beverage-chain-to-ever-grace-the-planet, Smoothie King:

He looks like a Green Tea Tango man to me.

This definitely gives him some bonus points in the baby daddy department, as I am addicted to Smoothie King. There was a period in my life where I would go there twice a week and get a 32 oz of the Light & Fluffy. It's like slurping Heaven through a straw.

Currently debating on if driving twenty minutes across town to purchase one of these divine treats in a styrofoam cup is worth it ...

Yours,

The K-Pop Addict

Baby-Daddy-To-Be List: Super Junior Edition

I have an ongoing debate within myself that I need to talk about. The fact that there are thirteen guys in Super Junior might make one think that there are plenty of guys for a girl to choose from, selecting one to admire and worship and secretly kiss the poster before you go to bed at night (we've all done it at one point, don't deny it).

But the idea of only picking one member is ludicrous, impossible even. It just can't happen, because they are THIRTEEN handsome, totally-delicious-in-their-own-way, each-has-their-own-sex-god-thing-going-on-for-them Korean men. And when you combine that much hotness in one group, the minds of fan girls begin to explode. Especially when you see performances such as this, it's an absolute wonder how teen girls in Asia are able to keep themselves composed and not go totally bat-shit crazy over these boys. (I am very thankful I live on the other side of the world).

While I love every single one of them for individual reasons, there are only five of them that I would consider having an illegitimate, bastard child with, thus giving him the honor of becoming my baby daddy.

First up, is the lovely, hip-thrusting machine, that is the leader, Leeteuk.

Oh, how I love you, bb.

Let me just say, first and foremost, I am absolutely in love with this man for reasons that will be discussed at another time. But that love didn't come right away. In fact, when I first saw the "Sorry, Sorry" video, the one who I thought was a cutie-patootie was Ryeowook, in all of his pocket-sized glory. As I began watching video after video, Teuk was the only one who stood out in my mind, the first name I actually knew. (It took me a while to learn all of their names, even though I knew them all. Thirteen names is hard to remember).

Reasons why Teuk has made the Baby-Daddy-To-Be List:

1. He's gorgeous, and our child will without a doubt have the most luscious lips ever.
2. Teuk has more than once been described by the other members as the "doting" one, the one who cares more about others than he does himself. Any man who is like that gets an automatic spot on the list.
3. He is a master at manipulating people to get them to do his bidding. Could you imagine how successful he will be when it comes time to give our child a bath? Or when the stubborn little brat refuses to go to sleep at night? Teuk could make them do just about anything, without them even knowing it. (Also will come in extreme handy during those pesky teen years!)
4. Seeing him kiss a baby (5:10) made my ovaries ache just a little bit, thus shooting him to the top of the list.
   
   
   The second man in the running is the amazingly sexy Donghae.
   

Mmmm.

I have always, always, always found him to be attractive, but he previously held the number three position. That is, until I saw Super Junior-M's video for their new song, "Super Girl" and realized how unbearably sexy this man truly is. Seriously, pure sex is exactly what he looks like. And it's a refreshing change from the normal, cute kid-at-heart thing he normally has going on. Because even the young at heart can be sexy, correct? The answer is a definitive and resounding YES, YES, YES.

Reasons why Hae has made the Baby-Daddy-To-Be List:

1. Seeing him get kids ready by washing their hands (1:05-2:20) before dinner is touching in a paternal way. Here is a young man (at the time of the show, he was 21) acting like a father to a young boy. If that doesn't get the uterus longing for a tenant, I don't know what will.
2. The baby-making process will be exceptionally fun.
3. Hae will teach our child how to dance, because God knows this white girl cannot dance to save her life. Someone has to pass creative genius onto our child.
4. He will do anything to make children laugh, no matter how ridiculous it may be.

Number three is the baby of the group with a voice that sounds like angels singing in heaven, Kyuhyun.

The nerdtastic Kyuhyun

Kyu is probably the biggest nerd idol you'll ever lay eyes upon, but at least your eyes will be happy gazing upon his gorgeous face. I will say, extremely glad he has strayed away from the "Don't Don" days, in which a HORRIBLE stylist had him bleach his beautiful, beautiful hair. I hope he never returns to that look and that he permanently stays a dark-haired beauty. Kyu loves to play Starcraft, so he is a gamer to the extreme, but who ever said that gamers can't be man-gorgeous?

Reasons why Kyu has made the Baby-Daddy-To-Be List:

1. He can sing Disney songs, so he will without a doubt sing our child to sleep every single night. And if I had my way, he'd sing me to sleep every night too. (Warning: He's a blonde in the vid).
2. Kyu doesn't speak much in interviews and on shows (because there are normally 12 others vying for any type of camera time), but when he does speak, his sense of humor is dry and witty, and he is absolutely perfect for me. Our child will have the weirdest sense of humor. Ever.
3. Seeing how flustered and overwhelmed he became when he volunteered at a home for disabled children was touching and sweet. Normally, a guy panicking about paternal things is a bit off putting, but Kyu managed just fine and earned a spot on the list.
4. I want to pass on his genes to our little halfie baby, because he is gorgeous and our baby will be gorgeous, as well.

Time for the JV-Squad of the Baby-Daddy-To-Be List. These two have potential, but I'm not one-hundred percent sold just yet.

Eunhyuk is one I have mixed feelings about, for he's not the stereotypical, generally-perceived-as handsome as some other Korean idols. But I cannot deny that this man has chest pops and pelvic thrusts that make my jaw drop and turn into some rabid fan girl.

Hyuk looks like raw sex when on stage.

Reasons why Hyuk is on the JV-Squad:

1. Seeing him try to calm a crying baby is hilarious.
2. His jaw is AMAZING. Oh, my. I have to admit, seeing a guy with a square jaw sends me into a tizzy. And (thankfully) majority of Korean male idols have that jaw. Bless those Asian genes!

Reasons why I'm not 100% sold:

1. I've read once before (on a not so-credible source) that my beloved dancing machine Hyuk does not believe in premarital sex and does not drink at all. I don't mind the drinking thing, as I'm not really much of a drinker, anyway. But the point of having a "baby daddy" is to not get married. So, until I hear that piece of information was false, Hyuk will stay on the JV Squad as first string, with a strong possibility to making varsity.

Kangin is on the second string, so to speak. I love him because he seems like a huge teddy bear and he has an amazing laugh which sends me into hysterics every time I hear it. Yet I can't fully commit to making him join varsity. I just can't bring myself to do it.

A guy in a suit always makes my knees weak.

Reasons why Kangin is on the JV-Squad:

1. He really is great with kids, so he'd be great daddy material.
2. He is the "strong" member, which is good because I can't even open a pickle jar. I don't necessarily eat pickles, but you get the point. My future child needs to get strength from somewhere, because it sure as hell will not be me.

Reasons why I'm not 100% sold:

1. Kangin is not exactly the most patient person ever, a fact that is widely known amongst ELFs (or Everlasting Friends for those who do not know the official name of Super Junior's fans). I'm sorry, but patience is pretty much mandatory when it comes to [raising] children, and there will no doubt be a lot of baby mama drama going on, so he has to have patience with me as well.

There they are. My five of thirteen Super Junior members that I'd love to have bastard children with. Huge flattery on my part, because I'm the pickiest woman ever when it comes to the opposite sex.

Yours,

The K-Pop Addict