Where's the Simple Part?

I finally had a chance to watch Super Junior's new MV for "Mr. Simple" this morning, and kind of having mixed feelings about it. I love seeing my first k-pop love again, seeing new things from them ... but at the same time there was no much that I felt wasn't "new."

It threw me for a loop in the beginning of the MV, when Siwon is focused in on and then Heechul walks by and then Kyuhyun is standing where Siwon should be. To be honest, I looked away for one quick second and the next thing I know Kyuhyun was there. Then I couldn't believe that I mistook Kyu for Siwon and I honestly thought I was a bad fan because I didn't recognize him -- my favorite maknae of all-time (shhhh, don't tell P.O!).

And then Donghae walks by and again, I was so freaking distracted by watching Eunhyuk's jacket fly through the air and magically glide up his arms and onto his shoulders that I didn't notice after Hae walks by the Kyu turns back into Siwon. So at the end I just see Siwon standing there and I'm like "WTF NO YOU WEREN'T THERE!"

SME, why you making us fangirls feel like we're losing our minds?

Then again I have a crappy attention span.

The video starts and I have to admit ... not much of a giddy, excited reaction this time around. Although I did have to replay the beginning a few times because I swear as soon as Leeteuk says, "Hey, I'm Mr. Simple," there is a sound-bite of the Facebook chat notification, that "pop."

But once everything starts and the lights are flashing, distracting you from their choreography -- which is absolutely plain in comparison to previous MVs -- I can see where a lot of people have compared it to "Sorry, Sorry" and "Bonamana." It's the same beat, same sound. And I think because of the fact that "Sorry, Sorry" was such a massive hit, they want to try to duplicate that success, so by making their first singles off these last two albums sound identical to the beat of "Sorry, Sorry" they think they'll have another hit on their hands.

The choreography is really good in some parts, like I love the "x dance" as some of you are calling it. But as for the chorus, it truly is like the "da da da da da da da da da" circle motion in "Sorry, Sorry," only they are standing still and doing it slower.

It's a new song, a new album, a new look for every single one of them ... give us something fresh and exciting.

As far as look goes ... perfect. No complaints at all from me (which you should all know by now is seldom).

Perfect.

 

Perfect.

And as far as Leeteuk goes ...

Yes, please.

Like I said, I like the song a lot, not particularly crazy about the video, but I'm really happy that Super Junior is back once again and I'm so excited to see more from them.

And if I'm not mistaken, I think one of the producers that took part in that atrocious ELF anthem called me out via Twitter and said he'd really like to hear my review for "Got Your Number."

Oh, bring it.

Check out the new MV for Super Junior's "Mr. Simple."

TKPA

Kangin is POSSIBLY on Twitter

I have evidence for the Pro and Con sides of the current situation as to whether or not Kangin, whom we all miss greatly since he entered the military, has joined us in Twitterworld.

PRO:

He tweeted this picture on April 27th of himself in military uniform. And from the quality of it, you can tell it was taken by his cell phone.

If the account is fake, then they went through a heck of a lot of trouble obtaining this picture, because I'm 95% positive that if this had been released, forums and sites would have written about it and I would have seen your spastic tweets of excitement.

Oh and he looks so precious in that uniform!

CON:

He has been tweeting from his account since the end of JANUARY and no one knew? I mean, really? An idol cannot sneeze without it immediately being front page news and everyone offering "fighting" for his/her health.

AND he is only following three members of Super Junior, none of which are following him back, not even Leeteuk. So either he hasn't talked to any of them, and when he has, "Hey follow me on Twitter!" is the last thing to come to his mind, or when he's talking to them and retweeting them, they don't see it because they get flooded with tweets from fans so they don't know he's talking to and following them.

Where the hell is Shindong to confirm this for us? He's slacking.

Follow the may-be-might-be-could-be-possibly Kangin Twitter account and judge for yourself!

TKPA

In the Army Now

I have had mixed feelings about Kangin joining the army ever since he broke the news of his plans. Part of me wants to be sad considering he won't be active in Super Junior for the next two freaking years and that's actually quite depressing when you know how much energy and charisma he brought to shows. He is an entertainer and although I know full well the group will survive without him, it's like a tiny piece of Super Junior is being locked away for a later time.

Kangin is like the freshly baked cookie you really want to eat, but you know it will ruin your appetite (that's garbage, anyway. Like one cookie will make me not want to eat dinner), so you wait for it. And wait for it. And wait for it. Only instead of waiting an hour, we have to wait two years.

On the other hand, Kangin does seem to need some help following those two incidents, both unfortunately involving alcohol. Although I'm sad to see him go, I know it is what is best for him and that is the most important thing.

So, here's hoping that in two years, Korea's #1 Handsome Guy will be back and better than ever.

And to conclude this post, I have written him another poem. (Oh yeah, did you ever read the first one?)

Kangin, you're in the army now.
Remember to keep calm and know your place,
Or else you'll end up punching your drill Sergeant in the face.
You're probably trading Playboys and cigarettes,
Oh, where did you hide Sungmin's pink barrettes?
You know better than to tease him, silly boy!
And with you gone, there seems to be a little less joy.
But soon two years will fly right by,
Putting you back in the public eye.
I never thought that you were fat,
Though the army will change all that.
It's too bad that pictures of you ripped won't be in magazines,
We will just have to envision it in our dreams!
Now it's time that I say good-bye,
And pray to the K-Pop Gods I do not have to see Teuk cry.
Please come back soon, and maybe ... dress like a cow.

TKPA

Watch This MV When ...

I know you've seen "Rokkugo" by Super Junior-T. How could you not? It's ridiculously cracktastic overload.

I hate this video and song so much. It drives me insane, repeating "Rokkugo" over and over in my head when I really do not want it in there in the first place. There are a few times in life when I know I have to watch this MV and listen to the song.

1. Whenever I feel angry towards someone else, I watch it to make me laugh hysterically.
2. Whenever I feel down, I watch it to make me laugh hysterically.
3. Whenever I am in need of a pick-me-up, I watch it to make me laugh hysterically.
4. Whenever I am bored, I watch it to make me laugh hysterically.
5. Whenever I feel like laughing hysterically, I watch it to make me laugh hysterically.

And it's amazing how I do not cry when I see how ridiculous they all look, at the overdose of cheese factor surrounding the whole thing.

"Rokkugo" is the result of Leeteuk, Heechul, Kangin, Shindong, Eunhyuk, and Sungmin all high on crack and with a video camera.

I bet if every single person on the planet watched this MV once a daily, like a vitamin, there'd be a lot less anger, hate, and sadness in the world. Instead, there'd be millions of tears from laughing so hard.

TKPA

Kangin ... It's March. Where Are You?

While I was waiting for my professor to show up to class yesterday, I decided to write a poem for Kangin, hoping to entice him back, wherever the fuck SME is hiding him.


Kangin, where have you been?
We miss you and your crazy ways,
Sometimes the tears of ELFs last for days.
Korea is less handsome now,
Remember when you dressed up like a cow?
Sure, sometimes you can be a real big douche,
But you're as lovable as the family pooch.
You know that you fucked up while drunk,
Though that doesn't mean you should live like a monk.
Star King lacked in hilarity,
Super Show without you is a pity.
I don't think you're fat, bb,
But ... maybe cut back a bit on the kimchi.
Kangin, I cannot wait until you return,
Let this be a lesson from which you learn.
Now it's time to get back in the spotlight,
Try to avoid any potential bar fight.
Being an entertainer is your rightful place,
Please don't spit in anyone's face.
Oh, Kangin ... loving you should be a sin.


TKPA

Say Whaaat?

Dirrrty Geek: Come on, fangirls! Throw me your bras!

Sir Pops-a-Lot: Hey, hey! You gotta share, man!

Ryeowook: I want one too, Kyu.

Kangin: Fools. Lingerie is better.

Thanks to @nengvaleska for sending in the picture and caption!

TKPA

You're on Hiatus, Kangin!

What are you going to do? How are you going to spend your two and a half months of zero activities?

I know with all that free time on your hands, it can sort of be mind boggling thinking about all the things you should do to keep you occupied. Thankfully, I'm here to help you out with that.

1. You can climb Mount Kilimanjaro simply for personal satisfaction.
2. You can walk along the entire length of the Great Wall of China (the areas that are not restricted, because we don't want you to get shot by the Chinese military).
3. You can practice your English skills. I'll help you with flashcards, boo.
4. Although I might not personally do this, you can become scuba certified and swim with sharks. Baby sharks. Baby sharks that are not known to attack human beings.
5. You can learn how to tango in Argentina and make the Latin ladies swoon and want to have your baby (but keep it in your pants, homeboy).
6. You can surf on the Great Barrier Reef. Just watch out for sharks, they can jump out of water. Oh, and stingrays.
7. I tried to refrain from pointing this out, because I think you're fine the way you are, but hitting the gym would be an excellent way to spend your time. You'll get so ripped that you'll make Siwon's Men's Health spread look ridiculous.
8. You can expand your culinary skills and cook dishes from all around the world.
9. You can come to America. Yes, I really like this one.
10. You can visit all of the historic and national landmarks here in America. And there are a lot, boo.
11. You can come to Florida and stay in my bed with me for the remaining weeks.
12. You can show me pictures of all your travels and tell me stories while we have pillow talk time.
13. You can teach me how to tango, while naked.
14. You can let me kiss your newly rock-hard body from head to toe (not really the toe part, because that's gross).
15. You can demonstrate your new culinary skills for me and in return I will make you my cheesecake brownies. Of course, we'll have to hit the gym in between hitting the sheets. We can't let that bod of yours go to waste.
16. And if all else doesn't seem appealing to you (despite the blow to my self-esteem) you always have one option ... Disney World.

TKPA

Kangin, What is Going On?

I am being completely serious in this post, as there is nothing remotely humorous about this situation.

Dear Kim Youngwoon,

I don't know you personally, but that doesn't stop my heart from feeling so heavy with emotion. The situation you've found yourself in is horrible, no matter whom you are, famous or not.

People make mistakes on a daily basis, but the severity of those mistakes varies with the individual. It’s disappointing that yours is more severe than most others. It’s hard to make excuses for what you did, because there is no excuse. There is no excuse for driving while intoxicated.

Someone very close to me, someone who I love and who is an important fixture in my daily life, was nearly killed due to someone who had been driving under the influence of narcotics and alcohol. Their accident was tragic, as both vehicles were mangled pieces of metal, my loved one’s friend placed in critical condition, and the intoxicated person, sadly, did not survive. My loved one was very fortunate, having God and guardian angels on his side, as he was left with only an injured knee and cuts from shards of glass.

While your accident was nowhere near this horrific, it could have been. Getting behind the steering wheel with that much alcohol in your system was stupid. Running away after the accident, fleeing the scene, was even more stupid. You put others lives at risk, as well as your own.

I still love you and I will still support you, because I know that in these types of situations, the person who caused the incident needs support as well. I don’t support your actions; I can’t because of personal reasons. But I will continue support you through this time. People will no doubt begin to criticize you mercilessly, and you will receive a lot of backlash. Yet you’ll always have the support of your fans.

You know you made a vast error in judgment and you know that now you have to face the consequences of your actions. I believe in your apology that you are sincere, and I know that you’re hurting on the inside for letting all of those who love you down. While it’s heartbreaking to most of us, the most important thing is that you and the others involved are safe and healthy.

All my love and support,

The K-Pop Addict

I am disabling the comments for this post to avoid any potentially negative feedback. I hope you understand.

I'm Revising the Baby-Daddy-To-Be Lists

Let me say, first and foremost, I love children ... that are a part of my family. Earlier today I watched my two nieces, who are only eleven months apart in age. It's so hectic, I don't know how many times I wanted to cry from sheer helplessness. Put one down, she cries. Put the non-crying one down to pick the crying one up, even more crying ensues ... mostly from me.

I do love kids, but I'm an incredibly impatient person, and when you're dealing with two little babies who don't really understand what's going on, and who want your undivided attention ... man, I want to cry just thinking about it. There's is absolutely no freaking way that I could handle seven, potentially nine children.

No. Freaking. Way.

Therefore the Super Junior, 2PM, and BIGBANG Baby-Daddy-To-Be Lists are going to go under some massive revision, and only one man from each group is going to come out on top. Don't expect this complete list to come out any time soon, because it took me how long to decide between the BIGBANG boys? Yeah, I can't make important decisions too hastily.

And these are extremely important decisions.

So, will it be Leeteuk, Donghae, Kyuhyun, Eunhyuk, or Kangin for the Super Junior list? Sexy Beast Taek or the scrumptious Nichkhun for 2PM? G-Dragon and T.O.P. are not looking forward to this revision, I can assure you of that. Those two are already fighting over my love, affection, and gene pool. (Side note: I find it highly improbable that Ji-Yong could win in a fight against T.O.P., like in the "Haru Haru" video. Just impossible).

Many sleepless nights filled with deliberation ahead of me ...

... yeah, right.

TKPA

The Nearly Perfect Boyfriend

Kangin is just so lovable, really. Granted, he has the tough, strong exterior, but inside he's just a big ol' baby that is in dire need of lots of hugs and lots of physical lovin'.

Korea's #1 Handsome Guy would be close to qualifying as the perfect boyfriend. I'm not really a horror movie person (I try not to watch them, seeing as how they make me cry out of sheer terror and I'm already paranoid enough), but if I had Kangin next to me in the theater, I'd consider it. Because he wouldn't mind if I clutched his arm so tightly that circulation ceases just because there is eerie music playing, which you know is a signal something horrific is about to happen! Sure, he'd probably laugh at me and make fun of how scared I was over a stupid movie afterward, but it'd be teasing in a loving way.

And yes, there is the whole temper thing and the whole fiasco of the pub fight he was involved in last month. Bright side is that he would totally stick up for you if some creeper keeps hitting on you while you're just trying to have a good time out with Kangin and your other friends. Down side is that he'd probably get pissed at you easily too, and that's no fun. It'd just result in a lot of alone time in separate rooms until he is calm enough to actually have a conversation with.

The reason why he's "near perfect" is because ... well, he's a bit selfish at times. I'm not judging or anything, because everyone is a tad self-absorbed every now and then, but it's not the best trait to bring into a relationship. He's still young, plenty of time to work on it.

TKPA

Reason #2 Why I Love Super Junior: Their Engrish

It was like music to my ears when fate pointed me in the direction of "Marry U" and I heard Leeteuk sing, in perfect English, "Would you marry me?"

I know the four basic, need-to-know-if-you're-traveling Korean phrases. "Hello," "Thank you," "Do you speak English?" and "I love you." Okay, so maybe that last one isn't extremely important if you're going to travel, but you never know if you'll stumble upon the love of your life who speaks broken English and your Korean is highly laughable. So, I know how to say "I love you," and Teuk knows how to propose.

There is no need for any other talking.

Pretty much I’ll be talking about this particular video, with an exception of a few extra links posted at the end for some giggles.

The boys have had a rough road when it came to learning English. Thankfully, because they are such fame whores, their lessons were documented in the form of Full House, thus making my life one bit closer to becoming complete. This is where they learned the one phrase that makes me giddy and blush like a tween girl: "You are so gorgeous."

Bless you, English teacher man. You taught the boys an extremely valuable compliment that they have used time and time again.

I will admit (even if The K-Pop Junkie wants to massacre me and feed me to the wolves for saying this), Siwon’s attempt at it is the best amongst the boys (4:00). Heechul is an extremely close second, though, mainly because after he tells blonde-curly-wig-wearing-Kangin he is gorgeous, Korea’s #1 Handsome Guy shuts Super Junior’s resident fame whore down with, "I don’t easy." Not a slut-bag hoe, basically (4:27). And Heechul … my, oh my. Is there anything more bizarre than seeing an Asian man incorporate "hip hop" slang into his English vocabulary? Seriously, it’s freaking hilarious and all, but a part of me just wants to die slightly whenever the pretty boy busts out with, "Yo man!"

I also love you, English teacher man, wherever you are, for teaching the boys how to say, "Obey me." Thank you infinite amounts.

Super Junior loves loves LOVES to incorporate English into their songs. For instance, in "She Wants It," a barely audible member (still can’t figure out who for the life of me) says, in the most creepily fantastic way possible, "Where you goin’ sweetie?" (0:28). Not to mention Eunhyuk saying “bling bling” in his rap bit in the same song, which is utterly amazing and still has me laughing obnoxious amounts over it.

"Endless Moment" is a song that doesn’t really have random LOLtastic phrases woven into the lyrics, but the boys do sing, "My endress moment." YES. Amazing.

Also, in the new Korean version of Super Junior-M’s "Super Girl" (which is absolutely RIDDLED with Engrish, which makes it billions times better than the Chinese version) someone so graciously pointed out to me that Donghae says, "He’s not shupaman, he must be mama boy." Oh, Hae. Love you, boo.

TKPA

Baby-Daddy-To-Be List: Super Junior Edition

I have an ongoing debate within myself that I need to talk about. The fact that there are thirteen guys in Super Junior might make one think that there are plenty of guys for a girl to choose from, selecting one to admire and worship and secretly kiss the poster before you go to bed at night (we've all done it at one point, don't deny it).

But the idea of only picking one member is ludicrous, impossible even. It just can't happen, because they are THIRTEEN handsome, totally-delicious-in-their-own-way, each-has-their-own-sex-god-thing-going-on-for-them Korean men. And when you combine that much hotness in one group, the minds of fan girls begin to explode. Especially when you see performances such as this, it's an absolute wonder how teen girls in Asia are able to keep themselves composed and not go totally bat-shit crazy over these boys. (I am very thankful I live on the other side of the world).

While I love every single one of them for individual reasons, there are only five of them that I would consider having an illegitimate, bastard child with, thus giving him the honor of becoming my baby daddy.

First up, is the lovely, hip-thrusting machine, that is the leader, Leeteuk.

Oh, how I love you, bb.

Let me just say, first and foremost, I am absolutely in love with this man for reasons that will be discussed at another time. But that love didn't come right away. In fact, when I first saw the "Sorry, Sorry" video, the one who I thought was a cutie-patootie was Ryeowook, in all of his pocket-sized glory. As I began watching video after video, Teuk was the only one who stood out in my mind, the first name I actually knew. (It took me a while to learn all of their names, even though I knew them all. Thirteen names is hard to remember).

Reasons why Teuk has made the Baby-Daddy-To-Be List:

1. He's gorgeous, and our child will without a doubt have the most luscious lips ever.
2. Teuk has more than once been described by the other members as the "doting" one, the one who cares more about others than he does himself. Any man who is like that gets an automatic spot on the list.
3. He is a master at manipulating people to get them to do his bidding. Could you imagine how successful he will be when it comes time to give our child a bath? Or when the stubborn little brat refuses to go to sleep at night? Teuk could make them do just about anything, without them even knowing it. (Also will come in extreme handy during those pesky teen years!)
4. Seeing him kiss a baby (5:10) made my ovaries ache just a little bit, thus shooting him to the top of the list.
   
   
   The second man in the running is the amazingly sexy Donghae.
   

Mmmm.

I have always, always, always found him to be attractive, but he previously held the number three position. That is, until I saw Super Junior-M's video for their new song, "Super Girl" and realized how unbearably sexy this man truly is. Seriously, pure sex is exactly what he looks like. And it's a refreshing change from the normal, cute kid-at-heart thing he normally has going on. Because even the young at heart can be sexy, correct? The answer is a definitive and resounding YES, YES, YES.

Reasons why Hae has made the Baby-Daddy-To-Be List:

1. Seeing him get kids ready by washing their hands (1:05-2:20) before dinner is touching in a paternal way. Here is a young man (at the time of the show, he was 21) acting like a father to a young boy. If that doesn't get the uterus longing for a tenant, I don't know what will.
2. The baby-making process will be exceptionally fun.
3. Hae will teach our child how to dance, because God knows this white girl cannot dance to save her life. Someone has to pass creative genius onto our child.
4. He will do anything to make children laugh, no matter how ridiculous it may be.

Number three is the baby of the group with a voice that sounds like angels singing in heaven, Kyuhyun.

The nerdtastic Kyuhyun

Kyu is probably the biggest nerd idol you'll ever lay eyes upon, but at least your eyes will be happy gazing upon his gorgeous face. I will say, extremely glad he has strayed away from the "Don't Don" days, in which a HORRIBLE stylist had him bleach his beautiful, beautiful hair. I hope he never returns to that look and that he permanently stays a dark-haired beauty. Kyu loves to play Starcraft, so he is a gamer to the extreme, but who ever said that gamers can't be man-gorgeous?

Reasons why Kyu has made the Baby-Daddy-To-Be List:

1. He can sing Disney songs, so he will without a doubt sing our child to sleep every single night. And if I had my way, he'd sing me to sleep every night too. (Warning: He's a blonde in the vid).
2. Kyu doesn't speak much in interviews and on shows (because there are normally 12 others vying for any type of camera time), but when he does speak, his sense of humor is dry and witty, and he is absolutely perfect for me. Our child will have the weirdest sense of humor. Ever.
3. Seeing how flustered and overwhelmed he became when he volunteered at a home for disabled children was touching and sweet. Normally, a guy panicking about paternal things is a bit off putting, but Kyu managed just fine and earned a spot on the list.
4. I want to pass on his genes to our little halfie baby, because he is gorgeous and our baby will be gorgeous, as well.

Time for the JV-Squad of the Baby-Daddy-To-Be List. These two have potential, but I'm not one-hundred percent sold just yet.

Eunhyuk is one I have mixed feelings about, for he's not the stereotypical, generally-perceived-as handsome as some other Korean idols. But I cannot deny that this man has chest pops and pelvic thrusts that make my jaw drop and turn into some rabid fan girl.

Hyuk looks like raw sex when on stage.

Reasons why Hyuk is on the JV-Squad:

1. Seeing him try to calm a crying baby is hilarious.
2. His jaw is AMAZING. Oh, my. I have to admit, seeing a guy with a square jaw sends me into a tizzy. And (thankfully) majority of Korean male idols have that jaw. Bless those Asian genes!

Reasons why I'm not 100% sold:

1. I've read once before (on a not so-credible source) that my beloved dancing machine Hyuk does not believe in premarital sex and does not drink at all. I don't mind the drinking thing, as I'm not really much of a drinker, anyway. But the point of having a "baby daddy" is to not get married. So, until I hear that piece of information was false, Hyuk will stay on the JV Squad as first string, with a strong possibility to making varsity.

Kangin is on the second string, so to speak. I love him because he seems like a huge teddy bear and he has an amazing laugh which sends me into hysterics every time I hear it. Yet I can't fully commit to making him join varsity. I just can't bring myself to do it.

A guy in a suit always makes my knees weak.

Reasons why Kangin is on the JV-Squad:

1. He really is great with kids, so he'd be great daddy material.
2. He is the "strong" member, which is good because I can't even open a pickle jar. I don't necessarily eat pickles, but you get the point. My future child needs to get strength from somewhere, because it sure as hell will not be me.

Reasons why I'm not 100% sold:

1. Kangin is not exactly the most patient person ever, a fact that is widely known amongst ELFs (or Everlasting Friends for those who do not know the official name of Super Junior's fans). I'm sorry, but patience is pretty much mandatory when it comes to [raising] children, and there will no doubt be a lot of baby mama drama going on, so he has to have patience with me as well.

There they are. My five of thirteen Super Junior members that I'd love to have bastard children with. Huge flattery on my part, because I'm the pickiest woman ever when it comes to the opposite sex.

Yours,

The K-Pop Addict