The Chicken Addiction ...

I wasn't planning on taking this approach with Onew, because it's been done before, but finding my Chick-fil-a giftcard with a balance left on it has made me really hungry.

Onew is one of those oddly beautiful people, that I have mixed feelings for. One moment I want to pinch those clear-as-all-hell cheeks and tell him he's so cute, the next I want to feed him endless amounts of chicken and just watch and even dab his mouth when the grease starts to build up, and then the next I just find him so irresistable.

Every morning I will make him chicken and waffles. For lunch, I will force feed him a chicken strip salad (because if he were to just eat nothing but fried chicken all the time, poor guy will get fat and then none of the noonas would want him). For dinner, chicken, chicken, and more chicken. Nothing but chicken from morning to night. And after dinner, I will just have to help him burn off all those fatty calories he earned during the day.

I think the only way to cure Onew's chicken addiction is if you give him a pet chicken and have him care for it, and clean it, and feed it, and nurture it. And within a few weeks, he will start to look at chicken and feel guilty (kind of like how I do when I eat king crab legs knowing a man probably died so I could stuff my face with warm, buttery, sweet crab meat).

And it will be a sad day in our household when I come home and find that Onew's beloved pet, Colonel Foghorn, is no where to be found, and the smell of fried chicken is lingering in the air.

TKPA

SHINee Says "Hello" to Leopard Print

It was like a rainbow overload of leopard print. Really, did you notice just how much of it was incorporated into their wardrobe?

Jonghyun is wearing both leopard print pants and a sweater, and Onew has on pants and a matching tie. Key was wearing red leopard pants with a red shirt, which oddly resembled footie pajamas minus the butt flap in the back. I think Minho was the only one who was not wearing it, but he was also in dark colors so it was hard to tell.

It doesn't stop there, even when they change outfits, Key sticks to what works.

But at least Jonghyun looks sexy.

And of course, Minho never fails. Never ever.

TKPA

This Is Just a Minho Filled Post

Mmm, Minho ...

This might sound odd, but I am ten times more attracted to this perfectly legal man now that his hair is shorter. Yes, his longer hair might have been gorgeous and so silky looking, but I can't go for a guy with prettier hair than me. Therefore the short hair not only catches my attention and kind of butches him up (just a little bit), but it also caters to my ego.

Just kidding about that catering to my ego part. Kind of.

Now he's all grown up, hasn't been jailbait for months now and I know you're all loving it just as much as I am. Can you imagine what he'll bring us in the future?

More abs.

More ridiculously good looks. It's almost unfair how beautiful he is.

Oh, and more pissed off looks like this. He'll be practicing this for sure in the bathroom mirror. So expect his bitchface to act like fine wine ... it only gets better with age.

Mmmmm, Minho ...

TKPA

Taemin ... You're Evil

You're evil, Jailbait Taemin. Pure evil.

With your little seductive way you glare at the camera in the "Ring Ding Dong" MV. With the way you totally do not look sixteen.

You're just evil for the next year and two months.

July 18, 2012 needs to hurry, so I can write about you in the way that I write about all other idols. Until then, you're jailbait and totally off limits.

TKPA

Key is SHINee's Jokwon

Bitchface to the max. Though it doesn't quite have the "diva" factor that the Queen of Bitchface himself delivers. It's more of a you-better-run-before-I-punch-you-in-the-kidneys-repeatedly bitchface.

Still ... it's there. Practice, bb. Practice.

I love you, Key.

TKPA

Jonghyun, You May Have Some Competition

DAMN, ONEW!!

Okay ... I know I just said that Jonghyun was number one in my newbie SHINee lovin' heart ... but ... well, he might have competition now.

Onew, I apologize for not paying you and your manhood any attention before this. If I had known what was underneath those pants ... rest assured you'd be talked about more than Sex God and his Concealed Weapon, Master GD and his One-Eyed Dragon, King of Foreplay and his Royal Scepter, Rain and his Lightning Rod, and Lips of Sex and his Chapstick. You get the point here ...

(If you're wondering about Lips of Sex ... totally just created that one).

You know what would be perfect? Jonghyun's face, Minho's voice, and Onew's junk. Perfect SHINee member.

TKPA

Hi, Minho! What's With the Voice?

Okay, this whole getting more into SHINee thing has been very beneficial. Simply because it has given me new things to write about, new subjects to lust over/talk dirty about.

Like Minho's deep voice. So yummy. I am extremely happy he is eighteen. And I mean extremely. It's even given me a teeny crush on him. I say teeny because Jonghyun is number one in my newbie SHINee lovin' heart.

Minho is a close second, though. I don't want to say a very close second, because Jonghyun has him beat simply because ... well, there's no logical or legitimate reason as to why he is first. Only because I said so.

TKPA

Jonghyun ... Mmmm

Why do you have to be so delicious, Jonghyun?

I finally (yes, finally) watched the first episode of Hello Baby yesterday, and aside from the fact that he repeatedly apologized in English and that he could potentially be the worst father figure ever ... I love him.

Don't spoil anything for me! I'm committed to getting more involved (read: obsessed) with SHINee.

But this is the most priceless facial expression:

Awesome.

TKPA

Uti's Guest Blog: Baby Daddy Rally

WARNING! If you do not want to have the sudden urge to have children in the near time, I strongly recommend you to not read this. This post is not suitable for those with sensitive ovaries.

Welcome to the Baby Daddies Rally! You’re lucky to witness this, because this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Here I will lay down, one by one, how these charming men will become great fathers. Then you can add in your own thoughts on who is going to be the best Baby Daddy.

We’ll start with the first one, Leeteuk!

I’m sure you’re all taking a moment of silence at the moment to appreciate how loving he looks with that baby. The way he puts his hand protectively on that baby just makes my ovaries twitch out of control and look at his smile! He looks so content just to lay down beside the baby and my God! He looks like he won’t let go of that little angel. That polaroid is exactly the kind of thing you’re going to put in blue album and show around your kids when they’re older. “Look at your handsome daddy taking care of you so much.”

Can you feel it? Have your ovaries started to rebel? Well, you’d better be calm, because this guy is TKPA’s only. I’m sure if she were the one who wrote this, she’d have plenty to comment on the picture. Therefore, keep your ovaries still, because you haven’t seen the rest of the Baby Daddies yet.

Next Baby Daddy, Big Booty Junee.

Now this one definitely got the exact thing I’m craving for in a Baby Daddy. He’s lost completely in playing with his kid! xD Look at him getting all pinky with that little girl. Look at how he holds the little girl’s hand, keeping her safe when she’s about to fall. And the girl looks so happy! I can see him clearly playing with my kids in the backyard. They’d be laughing and having fun, while I’d be on the side ready with drinks and snacks to fill us in the afternoon. He wouldn’t stop throwing jokes, making the kids and I laugh all day. Isn’t that a pretty picture?

Oh, yes. I know your ovaries are starting to rebel. However, let’s move on to the next Baby Daddy, Sir Pops-A-Lot.

Damn, the sensation of looking at that picture is equal to looking at Sir Pops-A-Lot’s chestpops on repeat. It looks like he’s kissing the baby in slow motion, making sure he wouldn’t break the fragile little thing. And the baby looks so peaceful sleeping in his arms… I can hear you sighing in awe staring at this moment. I bet he’d be a very loving father to his kids, always worry, and never let his kids out of his sight. I, being a playful mother, would urge our kids to have some fun under the rain, and he, being a protective father, would get angry at me for not thinking about the kids’ health. Then, he would rush to save the kids and quickly take them to the warmth of our house. *sigh* He handles children like they’re the most precious things in the whole world and nothing else matters.
 
I can hear some ovaries yelling. I’m not going to stop yet. Please welcome, Nichkhun.
 

 
Now that is one rockstar Baby Daddy! I feel like screaming along with my ovaries everytime I see this. Don’t they look cute? I feel like pulling Nichkhun down, no matter the time, no matter where we are. I just want us to make babies in every chance we have. I’ll bear lots of babies just to see Nichkhun kiss them every morning like he kisses that boy. He levels down just so he can wrap his arm protectively and kiss the little prince. Looking at the boy’s expression, it’s as though he’s saying, “Aw, Dad, don’t kiss me in front of these people. I’m a big boy!” And Nichkhun would point at me who was making dinner and said to the boy, “Your Mom never complains when I kiss her every minute of every day.” Then they would laugh at the loving jokes only shared by the two of them.
 
Darn, my ovaries’ rebellion is starting to get nasty. But we still have Abmighty Shisus on the list.
 

 
And now that is one handsome portrait of a daddy and his boy. The kind where you took it candid and then exhibited it in the living room for everyone to see. Abmighty Shisus looks so ready to be a father, doesn’t he? He can provide the best of everything for his kids, thanks to the fact that his family is an owner of one of the three largest department stores in Korea, which already has twelve branches and soon about to add six more. His kids will be the most pampered little princes in the whole world. Look at the boy’s face! “Daddy, why did you buy me this plastic guitar? Didn’t I tell you I wanted a Fender?” the boy said smugly. Then, Abmighty Shisus answered wisely, “There, there, boy, what does the bible tell you about patience? Just be content with your plastic guitar. I’ll buy you hundreds of Fender when you’ve grown to be as gigantic as me.” Oh, yes. They would be the envy of the town. A king and his heir. I, as the queen of the house, would just have to wait nicely in bed. Ready to make more babies with Abmigthy Shisus just because we can afford it.
 
There, there, calm down, girls. We’ve come to the last Baby Daddy. Here is Manly Minho!
 

 
Sorry, wrong picture xD (Totally on purpose. I just can’t help sharing this picture of Minho’s soon-to-be-six-pack-abs and happy trail with you).
 

 
Please forgive my bias, but I really can spazz forever just based on this picture only. Do you see what I see? Manly Minho is going to be a man soon and he’s so ready to make many babies with me. I can hear my ovaries screaming hysterically looking at Manly Minho with a bunch of kids. Look at his muscles! So firm, carrying that boy. And the boy looks so happy! The little prince doesn’t need to know that the strong arms carrying him are the same ones that carry to me bed everynight. All he needs to know is how an affectionate daddy Manly Minho can be. Look at him feeding the kid. Look at him playing with the kid. Look at him teaching the kids on how to wash their hands properly. Look at him smiling! He’s happy to be around children. The children are sure happy to have his company. He would take our kids to play soccer everyday, being the great soccer player he is. Our kids would be that kind of kids who brag at school about how cool their dad is. Dear Lord, yes, my womb is ready to bear Manly Minho’s many kids.
 
And that finally wraps up our Baby Daddies Rally today! Your ovaries won’t be able to handle it if I give you more pictures of Korean men with kids. Who is your pick? Who do you think is the best Baby Daddy? Leave Leeteuk out of it, because he’s TKPA’s. Leave Manly Minho out of it, because he’s mine!

Author’s note: Thank you, TKPA, for letting me guest-blog. Thank you @vanxiaoyi for Nichkhun’s pic ;D

TKPA Blog Contest - Second Place

Second place for the TKPA Blog Contest goes to Uti! Congratulations!

So, if I could spend 24 hours with one male K-Pop idol, that would definitely be Choi Minho of SHINee, or Manly Minho as I’d like to nickname him. Now before you scream my head off that he’s underage, I’d like to remind you that Manly Minho is 18 on the 9th of December. HALLELUJAH! Manly Minho is legal and ready for some action with Noona (that’s me)! You have no freaking idea how much I waited until that date.

Anyway, when I meet him, I’d like the two us to get a room. Just a nice cozy place, like SHINee’s dorm maybe. The others were doing their schedule and whatever, while Manly Minho and I probably would get steamy. I’d make sure that I’d lock the door so Taemin wouldn’t get in, since he’s the only underage member left in SHINee.

No, Taemin, Noona doesn’t want to corrupt you (yet).

I’d get Manly Minho to show me around the dorm, and eventually to the bedroom that he shared with his four other members. We’d make ourselves comfy on Onew’s bed, because his bed was in the center and easiest to get into (Minho’s was a bunk). Then, Manly Minho would pour his heart and confided in me. He told me how he got into this stardom so early that he lost most of his childhood and adolescence to endless training, recording, and shooting. Aaaaw, don’t be sad, I’d say, you’ve got Noona here willing to catch you up on everything you’ve missed out. The minute I said that, he would lighten up and look at me brightly with his big puppy eyes. “Really, Noona?” he would say excitedly.

Since he was always busy with SHINee, I figured out that he never got the chance to date or even flirting around. So then I’d kiss him and he was excited because that was his first kiss and he just wanted to know more, more, more, and more, being the curious man that he was. I, being a good teacher, would show him what an older and more experienced lady can give. Manly Minho would be overwhelmed, but he could handle it. When second base was done, he would ask to continue the lesson, but I’d say stop. Even though he’s legal, he still has some baby fat left. His eyes twinkle like a five year-old and I’d feel guilty for corrupting him too fast :( I’d say we should take it slow and lead him out of the bedroom into the kitchen to have some dinner.

I’d cook something steamy for him, just like how steamy I was for him. He was probably starving, but not for food. Instead, he was starving to give away something he’d been waiting until he turned 18. Once again, he gave me those puppy eyes and started to sing and dance “Noona, Neomu Yeppeo.” I could feel my defense was starting to get weak. He definitely didn’t miss that one out. That was when he took his chance. Even though I was the Noona, he’d got up and threw me on the table, towering over me. Yes, Minho, you succeeded in showing Noona who was the boss. I gave in. He surely knew what he wanted. We only had 24 hours anyway. Why didn’t we just use the best of those freaking hours?

Shit. I’m a totally desperate noona fan.

Jonghyun is Just ... Mmmmm

I love you, Jonghyun.

I love your teeth. I love your hair. I love your face. I love your mouth. I love your jaw. I love that freckle on your chest. I love how you're demonstrating to the audience what it's like when I rip your shirt off.

Can you keep the tie on, though? You can be completely naked, just leave that tie on.

To be honest ... I stared at his teeth for a good five minutes before looking at the rest of him. I don't know why, but those big, pearly whites are calling my name and I just might have to answer.

TKPA

I've Taken a Liking to Jonghyun

I tried avoiding listening to "Ring Ding Dong" when it first came out because everyone was saying it was stuck in their heads and I really don't need another Korean song stuck in my damn head. I did listen. And it is stuck in my head.

But more importantly, Jonghyun is my newest little crush. I'm not totally and one-hundred percent digging him. You all know me, though. In two weeks I'll be posting dirrrty things about him, because it might start out as a slight crush, but it will inevitably develop into something hardcore.

You know what? I take back that last paragraph. I was trying to locate another, better picture of him, when I stumbled upon this. I decided to skip the whole lusting-denying two week period and just post something dirrrty about this nineteen-year-old.

Oh, man. Look at his jaw, his facial expression. It looks like he's moaning into the microphone. Because yes, I'm down there.

Damn this little crush just spun way out of control.

TKPA