YGE, Why Did You Bitch Slap Us?

We've been waiting for what feels like a lifetime for BIGBANG's comeback. We were teased mercilessly with a plethora of new photos of the boys looking so amazing. We were hit with the news that they're gearing up for an American debut. We were given a freaking countdown to their official comeback date. We had a sneak peek at a teaser for "Tonight."

And then comes this morning. The day we've been waiting for. The day our fangirl and fanboy calendars have been marked, with hearts and smiley faces covering the tiny square of today's date. People who live in California, a whole seventeen hours behind you in Korea, woke up before seven in the morning so they could be there the moment it struck midnight in Korea. And I'm sure some people didn't even sleep.

Midnight hits ... and all we get is a longer freaking teaser?

Dude.

Seriously?

I'm extremely happy that we can pre-order it on iTunes, that the songs have been released. But Papa YG, I was counting on that three and a half to four minutes of staring and drooling and pledging my life and soul to these five men, and I felt like you bitch slapped me and put me back into my fangirl place.

I feel like I have been craving the most delicious cupcake from my favorite bakery all day. This is the best cupcake my taste buds have had the pleasure to taste, the best in the world. It's moist and perfectly baked, and it makes your eyes roll into the back of your head with each bite. The frosting feels like sin made of powdered sugar, butter, and milk. My mouth has been salivating all day just thinking about the piece of Heaven awaiting me ... only to have it be slightly burnt, dry, crumbly, with frosting that is runny and overly mixed.

This teaser is my dry cupcake, Papa YG.

I know you'll make it up to me and soon. Please do not let it be six months before the full album is released. Because then I have to come up with another baked good analogy and that's really hard, man.

Check out yet another teaser for "Tonight"!

TKPA

Taeyang's New Album: Release Date

We've been waiting for months. Finally, there's a light at the end of the dark, depressing, covered-ab tunnel. There's a lot of speculation that the King of Foreplay's album will be released on June 25th, but then again it is only speculation.

You know how Papa YG likes to switch everything up on us and just at the very last minute, without any proper warning to get ourselves together and composed so we can fangirl and not die from a heart attack, release something. He's done it before, and he'll more than likely do it again.

I don't think you should worry too much about not enough promotions for Tae-Tae and his latest album. He's certified gold and he'll bring in the numbers, regardless of the amount of press he receives.

Patience fan girls (and boys) ... those glorious abs are about to grace the K-Pop world once again.

TKPA

Teddy Park: Best Producer Ever

And of course, he's hella hot, which is always a fantastic plus.

It seems like everything that Teddy touches/produces is golden. Hell, even Lady Gaga wanted him to work with her and produce a song or two. I'm not really a big fan of the Lady (or any kind of fan, actually), but I give her credit for recognizing the best that South Korea has to offer, and quite possibly one of the best in the world.

The fact is that Teddy is talented as hell, dating back to his days in front of the microphone as a part of 1TYM and even up 'til now, when he's on the other side of the sound-proofed room in the studio, helping all our favorite artists produce hits.

Teddy will -- without a doubt -- be a massive success whenever he crosses the Pacific and finds himself in America. And with him teaming up with BIGBANG when/if YG ever decides to please us American fans and give us the boys (we'll take care of them, I swear!), there are bound to be chart-toppers and hit after hit.

Teddy in leather and on a motorcycle? Hell yes.

Teddy, boo ... come to America. I'll be your personal assistant, fetching you coffee, chauffering you around town, taking your clothes to the dry cleaner, and I'll even play wingman while out at the club (not that you'd need help, you can pretty much get any woman you want).

All I ask is that, in return and on top of a nice paycheck courtesy of YG, is that you allow me to have two nights off a week. One for Master GD and one for Sex God.

After all, I am one half of TKPAgon and one half of TOPA.

TKPA

YG Needs to Pull a JYP

And bring BIGBANG over to America!

(What'd you think I was going to say?)

JYP debuted the Wonder Girls here. YG ... you need to step up your game, dude!

I'm only saying this because it'd give me an actual excuse to obsessive over these boys and so whenever I listen to them, my mother doesn't look at me as if I have transported from another planet. If they debut over here in the States, at least my family members will look at me slightly less confused than they do now. Which is always a very important thing since they all think I'm a complete wack-job anyway. (Kidding, but my mother does say she doesn't know where my "weirdness" comes from).

Also a plus ... it'd be so much easier to see them in concert/stalk them. Because South Korea is just so far away and even if I saved up enough money to buy a damn plane ticket, I could think of a bajillion other things that the money would be better spent on. (Damn my innability to blow money).

Oh, and you know ... they'd do fantastic over here. But that's not as important as me being able to potentially make one of them my future baby daddy. Hear that, Kwon Ji-Yong?

You want to come to America, don't you, bbs?

Yours,
TKPA