Tae-Tae Ignited NC-17 Fantasies

I took the time to go all fan girl, foaming-at-the-mouth about Taeyang last night after his video for "Where U At?" was released. I'm glad I did, because if I posted something about him last night, like I originally planned, there would have been a lot of "Oh My God" and really inappropriate gushing. I mean, I know I don't have the cleanest fingers when I write majority of these posts ... but I know when to stop myself, I know my limits. Tae-Tae was just past those limits last night, that massively square cut jaw popping out of the side of his face, tempting me.

And that is when the Strictly a Dirty, Dirty Fantasy came into play.

Every time I go to play this video, when I hear the beginning of the song, just the first five seconds of it, I already want him. All you see are his shoes walking in the grungy, disgusting alley, and I want him.

I want him by the sight of his freaking shoes!

I'm a little disappointed in you, Tae-Tae. You did not flaunt off your perfect abs and hip dips in this video, and that is borderline unforgivable. If it were anyone else, I'd be extremely upset and I'd demand an explanation as to why they'd get me so hyped up and then not reveal any flesh. You're a different story, though. I can't be mad at your face for very long, you're Tae-Tae.

Plus, your jaw makes up for the lack of abs.

Let's take a moment of silence to appreciate THE JAW.

I know you're all good-boy-Christian, Tae-Tae ... but I know that there is a dirty little freak inside you, waiting to be unleashed. How do I know this?

For one ... you successfully made millions of girls sexually frustrated, having multiple Baegasms just waiting for your single to be released. You didn't release any teasers of the video variety. Just pictures of you looking as if you're about to punch someone in the face. Don't get me wrong, that's hot. I love a man who looks angry every now and then. But the anticipation was even hotter, the ultimate form of foreplay. You just engaged in foreplay with millions of girls. You dirty boy, you!

Secondly, the way you move your body, I imagine that is exactly how you'd move it in bed. The smooth, seductive way you move your hips ... I think God should reserve a special place in Heaven for your parents, because they made the world a far, far better place when they procreated and produced you. Yes, I realize it's wrong to mention sex and God in the same paragraph.

And can I just say that I love the choreography and the fact that your grabbed/caressed your crotch five times? Just amazing. Fantastic job, boo.

I love this video, because it's simple. There is no massive set with a tree and apple-juice cans hanging from it (sorry, G-Dragon). It's just you and Shaun Evaristo and Lyle Beniga dancing in a rat-infested alley that probably smells like death and hot beer. Strangely, that's really hot. Would I want to be in that rat-infested alley that probably smells like death and hot beer? If you were there, yes. For anyone else? Hell no. Even Sex God would have to find a semi-decent alley that smells slightly less vomit-inducing.

The Sex Angel

When you wear white, Tae-Tae, you look like an angel ... only a bajillion times hotter. You are an angel, boo. You're the Sex Angel. You're sweet and kind and the perfect man, but the sex factor you have surrounding your whole existence ... not so angel-like. I wouldn't have it any other way, though.

I can't wait until November.

Click here to watch the insanely HD video of Tae-Tae's "Where U At?" complete with jaw-line-galore and bulging veins.

TKPA