The Original Badass: T.O.P

I'm sorry. Jun Hyung might be a badass and all ... but he has nothing on Sex God. No one does. Just like his smolder sex stare, his badass image cannot be duplicated. Imitated, definitely. Duplicated? Hell no.

Do you see any other idols pulling off the role of a sadistic assassin? I don't think so. And if you bring up Rain ... well, he wasn't necessarily an assassin, more like a ninja seeking revenge. And he definitely was not sadistic. T.O.P ... yeah, dude was fucking nuts in IRIS.

I can totally see Sex God showing up at my house because he felt like it. He doesn't care what I have planned for that night, he's taking me out anyway and I better fucking go with him or else I'll never see him again. And face it, he could make me do anything with that voice of his, so it's not like I'm going to put up a major protest.

He'll take me to some nasty, hole-in-the-wall, you-might-contract-an-STD-by-standing pool hall, where there will no doubt be some skeezy looking dudes that probably own a motorcycle and have more than ten tattoos. And of course, these dudes will hit on me relentlessly, whistling whenever I bend over the pool table.

Yeah ... badass T.O.P won't handle that very well. Sure, he'd keep his cool for a little bit so as not to make me upset (because even though he's a badass, he isn't a tool), but eventually his patience will vanish and the fucking nuts, sadistic assassin will surface.

And oddly enough, the sight of him kicking someone's ass would more than likely be highly erotic and I would take him home, nurse any wounds or busted lip he may have, and then show him my gratitude.

Five times, to be exact.

TKPA

TKPJ Makes a Choice (Finally)

Hi! Remember me? I haven’t been around so much lately… sorry guys, but now I’m back! So I have had a problem for a while and I think I finally solved it. My problem is that two of my favorite guys in the K-Pop world are good Christians and neither can go into my baby daddy category….

I’m talking Taeyang and Siwon. Both are super hot and have bodies that can make girls go faint. To solve my problem I thought I could do a list of pros and cons, but of course I am too indecisive, you can ask TKPA. So that did not help. All the while I was thinking that both do not do sex before marriage and both really hadn’t had girlfriends. Here comes another problem…. I have a giant crush on another man! While I was listening to some music, one person’s voice really stuck out to me, who always really stands out and I can’t get enough of his sexy voice: Teddy.

Oh God, how he can rap a whole three lines in Tae’s song and totally steal my attention from Tae for the rest song. After listening to “Where U At” several times I decided that I can’t live without Teddy being somewhere on my list.

How do you think I will work out my dilemma?

 

Teddy is very attractive to me. He has the confidence that just shows through in his pictures. I like his body structure even though I have not seen anything that he is working underneath. Teddy is also very successful. He was in 1TYM and he now produces music. His voice is so sexy that if he just said one sentence to me I would do anything he wanted. Whenever his lends his voice in other artists music I stop and replay it over and over again. Just imagine him whispering dirty things in your ear in a crowded room that would drive you crazy until you attacked him as soon as you got into the parking garage or your car. Tearing clothes off without even thinking. MMMMhhhhmmmm!
 

 

I don’t even know where to begin with describing this cutie. He is cute and sweet. He has a hot body I would love to lick every inch of because it is rock hard. I can only imagine he would be the best husband ever because he would be the type of guy that would buy you flowers on the walk home or would go out and buy you your favorite, a caramel apple, because he knew you would love it and him. So with Tae I could see him being all shy until you get him behind closed doors and he has the room all lit with candles and the mood just right, of course after you say “I do.” I have no doubt there is a sex god waiting to explode out of him the moment he sees my lacey lingerie just waiting for him to touch. Oh yes I have plans for him if we get married. :)

Oh, Siwon is all I can think when I look at this man’s face. First off let me say that he has an awesome body and face, and he is TALL. Yes that four letter word means a lot because I like tall guys. I like to lean up to kiss them, stand on my tippy toes and just wait for them to scoop me up and lay one on me. I can see Siwon doing that. Although the bad thing about Siwon is he puts this cover up that he is a perfect gentleman, but he can give an intense bitch look which makes me feel he might not be future husband material. But can you imagine the hot angry sex after you did something to deserve that bitch look? Oh yeah, it would be hot, steamy, angry and passionate. There is a lot of power in that look.

I have put off choosing my future husband long enough. After a long thought I decided that Teddy should be on my Baby-Daddy-To-Be List because he is older and he can support our children. Also I think he would make a great father! I choose Siwon to Be My Boyfriend because I can see us being a fling of hot dirty sex that I will seduce him into. No one can resist my seducing powers once I release them! My Future Husband will be Tae because I think he would be the best husband in the world and plus I get to make hot, passionate love to him every day. How can I resist his gentle smile and the love in his eyes?

I think I always knew he was going to win over Siwon. It was just a matter of time.

TKPJ

What You're Missing -- Part IV

Dear Nichkhun,

Two things: I need to give you a nickname, and why the fuck are you wearing a shirt? Seriously, this picture is slightly less orgasmic because you're covered. You need to be half naked like Beastly Maknae. We know you have guns and abs. FLAUNT THEM.

TKPA

SEX GOD FLESH!

Yes, that's right. SEX GOD FLESH!

Just look at it. Look at that non-flab, semi-toned body. It looks wet. Like he just got out of the shower and threw on that white robe.

Damn.

Are your retinas burning? Mine are.

I am so surprised that Sex God would actually show his body in anything less than two layers. We all know how that man likes to cover himself up and make us wonder and imagine what is underneath all that cotton mystery. It's kept many of us tossing in turning in our beds at night, hoping and praying to the K-Pop Gods that he is no longer flabby and just ....

Well, he'll never be along the lines of King of Foreplay, but we've come to expect that. We know that's asking for too much.

This? Perfect.

Relax, lovelies. You can sleep peacefully tonight knowing that Sex God's body is pretty damn sexy and amazing, just like his face. And his voice. And him in general.

Thanks to @xAmyAshx for the tip!

PS -- There's question as to whether or not this is real. I say who cares? Enjoy it and think dirty about it.

TKPA

Did You Really Think T.O.P Would Allow That?

"I told you, bro. TKPA is mine."

I have been trying to decide between Master GD and Sex God for the past two weeks. Pretty much I knew from the beginning that it was going to be GD. I mean, he's the quintessential baby daddy.

But, seriously, did you think that Sex God would allow me to have a child with another man?

No, he wouldn't.

That's why I've decided I'm going to make Sex God my baby daddy too. Yes, two baby daddies from BIGBANG. I know I said I could only choose one, but hey, it's my blog and my creation so I can pretty much do whatever I want and make up whatever rules I want.

I want Sex God's baby, boy or girl. I know I said previously that I'd only want the child to be a girl, because a little boy smoldering intensely at girls on the playground at the age of eight is every mother's worst nightmare, because you know it'll only get worse as he gets older. And really, I do not want to deal with teenage girls calling the house and then hanging up whenever he answers the phone (because he will have his daddy's voice, as well as the stare).

But I imagine that if we have a boy that he'd look something very similar to this. Although I might not style him on a daily basis like this, matching his daddy in the most fierce outfits imaginable, the hair will always look identical. Sex God will have a mini me.

Sex God: You go up to a girl like this and whisper in her ear,

"You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen."

T.O.P Jr.: You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen.

I know I'm potentially asking for a lifetime of worrying when it comes to procreating with Sex God, especially if the offspring happens to be a boy. But there is always a fifty-fifty chance that the baby will be a girl, and that'll be less scary for me to deal with.

Bottom line is that I want to have a baby with this man. I want to practice having a baby with this man in a Purely Animalistic way and I want to actually have a baby with this man. And I want to cuddle with him and our child (boy or girl) in between us in bed while we show our child Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory for the first time.

So, this concludes Baby Daddy week as well as BIGBANG Friday. I hope you all enjoyed the past week as much as I did =)

TKPA

My BIGBANG Baby Daddy: G-Dragon

You look so happy, babe

You knew you were it all along, Master GD. There was no need for you to act out and do ridiculous things to your hair in order to get my attention. You know that I love you unconditionally.

True, sometimes I hate you and I curse your name ... but I do it out of love, babe. I cannot quit you, no matter how hard I try.

Which is why you're the perfect baby daddy for me to have. I will always love you and a part of me will always want to be with you, regardless of the things you do that piss me off. Like taking our child out of school early so you can take them to the zoo. I mean, if you call me and say, "Hey, TKPA, I want to take [Korean baby name here] to the zoo. Mind if I take them out of school?" I'd say sure and have no problem with it.

But you won't call me and give me the heads up. You'll do it behind my back, because the thing that I love about you the most is your carefree spontaneity. And it's one thing when you want to show up at my house and say, "Let's go on a road trip!" before the baby, but after we have the kid, you can't do that kind of stuff. You just can't, babe.

You would be an excellent father, though. You're already an amazing dad to GaHo. Plus, our child would be the CUTEST freaking child EVER. I don't know why, but I imagine our child to have a lighter shade of brown for a hair color and wide chocolate brown eyes. Regardless if it's a boy or girl, they'd look like you because of those extremely dominant Asian genes of yours. And they'd be pretty too, just like you.

Oh, GD Baby ... you know that no matter what you do, what you say, what you wear, and what you do to your hair ... I will always love you. Sure, I might hate you for it for a brief moment in time, but that's only because I love you so much.

So go ahead and do your little happy/cocky dance (with your muscular arms!) for finally and officially being my BIGBANG baby daddy!

I love you, babe.

TKPA

Nichkhun, You Are the Father!

I don't even feel like I need to justify why I've chosen you to be my baby daddy, Nichkhun.

A gorgeous mixed baby is in our future

I love your face, I love your body, I love your sense of humor, I love your voice, and I want your gene pool to mix with my own to produce the most gorgeous mixed baby to hit the planet. Seriously, our baby will be Thai, Chinese, Greek, Italian, and Irish. Just imagining he/she with big brown eyes and long eyelashes, crystal clear complexion, somewhat naturally tan skin, and thick, silky hair. Not to mention our baby will be like quadrilingual, which would definitely help them later on when they enter the job market. (See, I think ahead on these types of things).

I love your face and your body so much that the baby making process will be mass amounts of fun, filled with laughter and lots of picture-taking, quite possibly even a video camera will be involved. I can just see the play on the words "Come to Thailand" if it were to ever be leaked somehow and made available for all the world to see.

But it won't be all fun and games between the sheets, though. Oh, no. I know there's a manly beast within you that is unleashed behind closed doors. And baby, I will so deadbolt those doors shut when the savage animal deep within you is released.

I can't wait 'til the day when I see you crawling on the floor alongside our mixed baby, making cutesy faces at him/her. The image alone is almost enough to melt my cold heart.


TKPA

And the Super Junior Baby Daddy is ...

Congratulations, Donghae! You made the baby daddy list, bb!

Our halfie baby would be gorgeous.

There was some debate between you and Kyuhyun, but once I snapped to my senses, you completely dominated my mind.

All of the reasons I previously listed the first time around still apply to you, but there is an important bit I left out that I need to include, because it sealed your fate as my future baby daddy.

When a few of the Super Junior boys filmed Adonis Camp back in 2006, Hae was only twenty-one-years-old, but seeing him with children for a brief two episodes made me want him. And when he said this, I just about died:

"I have a lot of interest in marriage and being a father. Even though I am only twenty-one, I want to be a father. When they're hurt, I want to say, 'Oh, you're hurt?' and listen to the kids. I want to be a dad fast."

Myself being twenty-one now, I have only come across one guy close to my age who is actually anxious to settle down and have children. It's a rarity that a guy in his early twenties is thinking about having children and cannot wait to have children. You totally won me over, Hae.

I want your baby and I want your body. Sure, you have that cute-kid quality to you, but you are hella sexy and you know it. Lately your style has been working in your favor majorly, and even though I have a bone to pick with majority of the stylists in charge of you idols, the stylist in charge of you has done an exceptional job. I love your shaggy hair. Not many idols can pull that look off and have me like it (only three others have come to mind besides you).

I want you so bad, my ovaries are aching.

I know I've said it before, but I feel it's important to stress that you are unbearably sexy in "Super Girl." If I were on the set for that video, I so would have grabbed you by your tie and pulled you into a nearby storage closet to take extreme advantage of you. But we all know it's only taking advantage if you resist, which you won't because you want to be my baby daddy.

I love your Engrish, it's the best out of Super Junior. I laugh every time I hear it, because you sound like such a little kid. You have this spark in your eyes that always looks mischievous, like you're calculating how quickly you can run away from me after you put a freaking Mentos in the cap of a two-liter of Coca-cola, making it explode all over the kitchen and me.

While I might not find that particularly humorous at first (or later), you can make up for it by stripping your body free of clothes and dancing like this for me. After this little private performance takes place, and of course after you demonstrate repeatedly the best dance move ever from "Don't Don," I will forgive you.

Congrats, boo. Our halfie baby will be freaking gorgeous.

xox

TKPA, aka Hae's Future Baby Mama

I Declare the First Official Baby Daddy Week

Monday, October 19th, I will debut the two newest categories for this blog as well as reveal who made the final baby daddy cut and what happened to the boys who just fell short of having an illegitimate child with me.

All next week is going to be about these lists, so you better freaking comment your little K-Pop lovin' bums off when they're released.

Monday: The Introduction
Tuesday: Super Junior
Wednesday: 2PM
Thursday: =)
Friday: BIGBANG

Aren't you excited?

Who'd Make the Better Baby Daddy: G-Dragon or T.O.P.?

Starting my deliberation with the revised "Baby-Daddy-T0-Be" lists and I'm already faced with the toughest of all choices. I can't decide between the two of them, yet I have to. For the sake of unsightly stretchmarks, I can only choose one.

G-Dragon owns me in my entirety. Every time I listen to "Butterfly" I just picture lying next to him on a California King sized mattress with white satin sheets and fluffy pillows, in a penthouse suite overlooking the ocean, the warm tropical breeze blowing through the open balcony doors. Oh, yeah ... and we're both completely naked. That's the most important detail, I think.

Imagine waking up to this face in the morning ...

It's an extremely nice visual to accompany a song, you know?

In fact, that should be the entire concept to that particular video when/if he ever films it. Ji-Yong, you should definitely do it. And of course, since I just came up with the idea, you should make me the girl in your video. I am so willing to sacrifice my life (because you know damn well millions of girls worldwide would hunt me down and tar and feather me in the street) if it means two or three days worth of filming for a music video with you, in which I will be constantly making out with you while you're half-naked and while rolling around on a gigantic bed ...

What's the point of this, again?

And it seems like every time I begin to go all oh-my-God-please-let-me-kiss-you-all-over-your-body in regards to GD ... T.O.P. says, "OH HELL NAW!" and completely steps up his game. Do you know what he does to get back in my good graces, to stick out in the insanely NC-17 part of my mind?

Damn you.

He. Just. Stares.

That's it. That's all T.O.P. has to do in order to have me left utterly speechless. He always looks so angry-sexy, and for some really strange reason, that is very attractive to me. I bet he even smolders in his sleep. Oh, man, wouldn't that be a fantastic sight to wake up next to in the morning? A sleeping, still smoldering from the previous night's vigorous and exerting activity, sex god by the name of T.O.P. lying beside you? Even though you're completely worn out from the night before, when he wakes up and greets you a good morning in his already sexy voice made sexier by the grogginess of sleep and the ever-so-amazing first morning kiss ... you'll both summon the strength deep within you to start the day properly.

As you can see ... this clearly did not help me in trying to decide which one I want to be my baby daddy. This is going to take an extremely long time.

No, I will not surprise you and place Taeyang on the final list, because he is just incredibly sweet and I refuse to be a corrupting influence on him. Flat out refuse. You're safe, Tae-Tae.

TKPA

I'm Revising the Baby-Daddy-To-Be Lists

Let me say, first and foremost, I love children ... that are a part of my family. Earlier today I watched my two nieces, who are only eleven months apart in age. It's so hectic, I don't know how many times I wanted to cry from sheer helplessness. Put one down, she cries. Put the non-crying one down to pick the crying one up, even more crying ensues ... mostly from me.

I do love kids, but I'm an incredibly impatient person, and when you're dealing with two little babies who don't really understand what's going on, and who want your undivided attention ... man, I want to cry just thinking about it. There's is absolutely no freaking way that I could handle seven, potentially nine children.

No. Freaking. Way.

Therefore the Super Junior, 2PM, and BIGBANG Baby-Daddy-To-Be Lists are going to go under some massive revision, and only one man from each group is going to come out on top. Don't expect this complete list to come out any time soon, because it took me how long to decide between the BIGBANG boys? Yeah, I can't make important decisions too hastily.

And these are extremely important decisions.

So, will it be Leeteuk, Donghae, Kyuhyun, Eunhyuk, or Kangin for the Super Junior list? Sexy Beast Taek or the scrumptious Nichkhun for 2PM? G-Dragon and T.O.P. are not looking forward to this revision, I can assure you of that. Those two are already fighting over my love, affection, and gene pool. (Side note: I find it highly improbable that Ji-Yong could win in a fight against T.O.P., like in the "Haru Haru" video. Just impossible).

Many sleepless nights filled with deliberation ahead of me ...

... yeah, right.

TKPA

Baby-Daddy-To-Be List: BIGBANG Edition

I have said so many times that I was going to wait to do this until after Taeyang's single was released, but due to the previous post I wrote earlier tonight about Tae-Tae and his ability to claim the title of the perfect man, I finally came to the conclusion that Tae will not be on this list, however he has sparked yet another category that currently only he is in. More on that later, though.

I realize there are five members to BIGBANG, and even though I freaking adore Daesung and Seungri, sadly they weren't even in the running for this. Don't feel bad for them, though. They have their very own lists to attend to/own. (All in good time).

With the Korean Usher out of the picture, it really only leaves two. You know who they are. I've only been going back and forth between them like some homie-hopper (yes, I actually did just type that) for the past week. I can't help it, though. I've told you reasons why I love them, why I hate them, why I love them again ... but I've never given reasons as to why I want bastard children with them, complete with a lifetime of baby mama drama.

Kwon Ji-Yong, you knew from day one that your platinum-blonde-with-now-dark-roots arrogantly sexy ass would be on this list.

Reasons why G-Dragon has made the Baby-Daddy-To-Be List:

1. One word: GaHo. You're already so paternal with your dog, you'd have relatively little to no problem being paternal to an actual human being. It makes me want my own little (preferably non-wrinkled face) baby with you.
2. I love your tattoos and I love how they're in languages that are not your first. I have two tattoos in Greek script, so at least our child will be cultured and won't be raised thinking tattoos are "taboo." An open-minded child turned adult is what the world needs more of. We could totally provide the future civilization of that, bb.
3. You are the quintessential baby daddy, as I love you and hate you all at the same time. None of the other boys from other idol groups can lay claim to that fact. Also, just like a baby daddy, I cannot quit you and I keep returning to you over and over. Whether it be a booty call or I just refuse to, deep down, give up hope of being with you forever and ever 'til death do us part. You. Are. Perfect.

T.O.P. ... I always become speechless whenever I try to write about you, mind going completely blank. No, actually that's a lie. My mind has plenty of thoughts circulating up there, however they are far too dirty and NC-17 to put on the internet.

Reasons why T.O.P. has made the Baby-Daddy-To-Be List:

1. Let me say first and foremost that I do not want to have a son with you. I only want to have a daughter, because if my son were to look anything similar to you (great probability considering I'm white and Asian genes are very dominant), I'd home school him and keep him sheltered, turning him into the biggest mama's boy in history. Because you smolder, boo, and a young boy at the age of five does not need to be giving little girls on the playground sexed-up-model eyes. That's just asking for a lifetime of trouble and personally, I'd like to be able to sleep at night without wondering where the hell my son who is a mini-me of his father is.
2. Again, you smolder. I want your baby simply because of that fact, and that fact alone. And if you ever let this glorified sound out of your mouth in my presence in your voice that I imagine would sound like sex if sex could talk ... dude, I'd so take charge and rip your fucking clothes off in two seconds. Flat.
3. Our child will without a doubt inherit your fierce fashion sense, and we could quite possibly spawn the next Marc Jacobs. Yes, Paris' Fashion Week would love us and treat us like royalty for acting like complete nymphomaniacs with zero self control. Give yourself a pat on the back, lovely.

Taeyang has spawned the category: Strictly a Dirty, Dirty Fantasy. He'll always be there for me to marvel over his physical perfection, and from time to time I'll relapse and feel like licking whip cream off his abs. But that's it. Once the novelty of the fantasy wears off, or when GD becomes jealous and steps up his game, or when T.O.P. whines for my attention, Tae-Tae will go back in the bejeweled fantasy box in my mind.

TKPA

Baby-Daddy-To-Be List: 2PM Edition

Although there are six of them, I had a relatively easy time picking which ones I’d have a baby out of wedlock with. If Jaebeom was still an active member in the group, he would throw a monkey wrench into the whole situation. Thankfully (in this case only) he is not in the group, so the decision has been narrowed down to two men.

First up is the delicious Taekyeon (or Taecyeon as it is also spelled, but I tend to gravitate towards names involving a "k" in the spelling), or as I like to refer to him as the Korean Cristiano Ronaldo. (They have the same teeth and inability to keep their mouths closed at all times).

I love it when he says, "Somebody hurry and please tie me up somewhere."
Will do, bb. Will do.

At six-foot, Taekyeon leaves me speechless during his rap of "Again and Again." As The K-Pop Junkie said last week, "His voice is like sex." Yes, yes it is.

Reasons why Taekyeon has made the Baby-Daddy-To-Be List:

1. He’s six foot. That is in no way a stereotypical remark toward Asians as a whole and their "lack of height," but I do actually like tall guys. I’m average height (5'5"), but having a baby daddy with some height will somewhat guarantee a tall-ish baby. There are a few tall genes tucked away in my DNA strand (one of my great-grandfathers was 6'4"), so there very well could be a Korean Yao Ming on our hands down the road. Is it just me, or does he also look exceptionally taller than the others in "Again and Again" video?
2. Even though he was born in Seoul, he moved to Massachusetts for seven years with his family. Thus, this is one Korean who speaks fluent English, and that automatically gives him bonus points in my book. Although I do enjoy broken English with a heavy Asian accent, it’d be much easier on the bastard-baby-in-question if both parents spoke fluent English.
3. He has a ridiculously goofy personality that I don’t think I’d ever get tired of. He seems like a big kid who wants to play all the time. I just want to hug him endlessly, and then strip his clothes off with my teeth. I don’t think he’ll mind too much, even if I am what he describes as a rabid fan.

The other member of 2PM that I want to become my baby daddy is Nichkhun.

I love you. Infinite, infinite amounts.

The K-Pop Junkie always says, “He has weird eyebrows.” She’s right; he does have weird eyebrows. But that doesn’t detract me from his face.

1. Khun was born in California, making him an American citizen, and he is of Thai and Chinese descent. I cannot tell you how wonderful it is to know he’s an American by birth, because we can completely bypass the hassle of trying to get him a green card to live and work in the States. And since he lived in the States for a portion of his life, he, like Taekyeon, also speaks English rather well. I cannot stress enough how much of a bonus that is, something that none of the Super Junior members that made the list can claim.
2. He is a complete natural when it comes to being on television, and his comedic timing is impeccable. This clip from Star King (undeniably the funniest show I have ever seen) had me chuckling. [Unfortunately it isn’t subbed, but you don’t have to speak Korean to figure out what’s going on—I’ll tell you anyway, because I’m a nice person! The setup is that Khun has to get ready and eat breakfast in under three minutes, and he chooses to come home “the night before” drunk].
3. He is a fierce dancer, and I swear if he were to ever dance with me like this, conception will immediately follow. (Also featured in this video is Sungmin from Super Junior, whose dance moves are equally impressive).

WAY TOO CLOSE FOR MY COMFORT!

Tell me, which members from 2PM make your cut as potential baby daddy? (For the hell of it, Jay will be accepted).

Yours,

The K-Pop Addict

Baby-Daddy-To-Be List: Super Junior Edition

I have an ongoing debate within myself that I need to talk about. The fact that there are thirteen guys in Super Junior might make one think that there are plenty of guys for a girl to choose from, selecting one to admire and worship and secretly kiss the poster before you go to bed at night (we've all done it at one point, don't deny it).

But the idea of only picking one member is ludicrous, impossible even. It just can't happen, because they are THIRTEEN handsome, totally-delicious-in-their-own-way, each-has-their-own-sex-god-thing-going-on-for-them Korean men. And when you combine that much hotness in one group, the minds of fan girls begin to explode. Especially when you see performances such as this, it's an absolute wonder how teen girls in Asia are able to keep themselves composed and not go totally bat-shit crazy over these boys. (I am very thankful I live on the other side of the world).

While I love every single one of them for individual reasons, there are only five of them that I would consider having an illegitimate, bastard child with, thus giving him the honor of becoming my baby daddy.

First up, is the lovely, hip-thrusting machine, that is the leader, Leeteuk.

Oh, how I love you, bb.

Let me just say, first and foremost, I am absolutely in love with this man for reasons that will be discussed at another time. But that love didn't come right away. In fact, when I first saw the "Sorry, Sorry" video, the one who I thought was a cutie-patootie was Ryeowook, in all of his pocket-sized glory. As I began watching video after video, Teuk was the only one who stood out in my mind, the first name I actually knew. (It took me a while to learn all of their names, even though I knew them all. Thirteen names is hard to remember).

Reasons why Teuk has made the Baby-Daddy-To-Be List:

1. He's gorgeous, and our child will without a doubt have the most luscious lips ever.
2. Teuk has more than once been described by the other members as the "doting" one, the one who cares more about others than he does himself. Any man who is like that gets an automatic spot on the list.
3. He is a master at manipulating people to get them to do his bidding. Could you imagine how successful he will be when it comes time to give our child a bath? Or when the stubborn little brat refuses to go to sleep at night? Teuk could make them do just about anything, without them even knowing it. (Also will come in extreme handy during those pesky teen years!)
4. Seeing him kiss a baby (5:10) made my ovaries ache just a little bit, thus shooting him to the top of the list.
   
   
   The second man in the running is the amazingly sexy Donghae.
   

Mmmm.

I have always, always, always found him to be attractive, but he previously held the number three position. That is, until I saw Super Junior-M's video for their new song, "Super Girl" and realized how unbearably sexy this man truly is. Seriously, pure sex is exactly what he looks like. And it's a refreshing change from the normal, cute kid-at-heart thing he normally has going on. Because even the young at heart can be sexy, correct? The answer is a definitive and resounding YES, YES, YES.

Reasons why Hae has made the Baby-Daddy-To-Be List:

1. Seeing him get kids ready by washing their hands (1:05-2:20) before dinner is touching in a paternal way. Here is a young man (at the time of the show, he was 21) acting like a father to a young boy. If that doesn't get the uterus longing for a tenant, I don't know what will.
2. The baby-making process will be exceptionally fun.
3. Hae will teach our child how to dance, because God knows this white girl cannot dance to save her life. Someone has to pass creative genius onto our child.
4. He will do anything to make children laugh, no matter how ridiculous it may be.

Number three is the baby of the group with a voice that sounds like angels singing in heaven, Kyuhyun.

The nerdtastic Kyuhyun

Kyu is probably the biggest nerd idol you'll ever lay eyes upon, but at least your eyes will be happy gazing upon his gorgeous face. I will say, extremely glad he has strayed away from the "Don't Don" days, in which a HORRIBLE stylist had him bleach his beautiful, beautiful hair. I hope he never returns to that look and that he permanently stays a dark-haired beauty. Kyu loves to play Starcraft, so he is a gamer to the extreme, but who ever said that gamers can't be man-gorgeous?

Reasons why Kyu has made the Baby-Daddy-To-Be List:

1. He can sing Disney songs, so he will without a doubt sing our child to sleep every single night. And if I had my way, he'd sing me to sleep every night too. (Warning: He's a blonde in the vid).
2. Kyu doesn't speak much in interviews and on shows (because there are normally 12 others vying for any type of camera time), but when he does speak, his sense of humor is dry and witty, and he is absolutely perfect for me. Our child will have the weirdest sense of humor. Ever.
3. Seeing how flustered and overwhelmed he became when he volunteered at a home for disabled children was touching and sweet. Normally, a guy panicking about paternal things is a bit off putting, but Kyu managed just fine and earned a spot on the list.
4. I want to pass on his genes to our little halfie baby, because he is gorgeous and our baby will be gorgeous, as well.

Time for the JV-Squad of the Baby-Daddy-To-Be List. These two have potential, but I'm not one-hundred percent sold just yet.

Eunhyuk is one I have mixed feelings about, for he's not the stereotypical, generally-perceived-as handsome as some other Korean idols. But I cannot deny that this man has chest pops and pelvic thrusts that make my jaw drop and turn into some rabid fan girl.

Hyuk looks like raw sex when on stage.

Reasons why Hyuk is on the JV-Squad:

1. Seeing him try to calm a crying baby is hilarious.
2. His jaw is AMAZING. Oh, my. I have to admit, seeing a guy with a square jaw sends me into a tizzy. And (thankfully) majority of Korean male idols have that jaw. Bless those Asian genes!

Reasons why I'm not 100% sold:

1. I've read once before (on a not so-credible source) that my beloved dancing machine Hyuk does not believe in premarital sex and does not drink at all. I don't mind the drinking thing, as I'm not really much of a drinker, anyway. But the point of having a "baby daddy" is to not get married. So, until I hear that piece of information was false, Hyuk will stay on the JV Squad as first string, with a strong possibility to making varsity.

Kangin is on the second string, so to speak. I love him because he seems like a huge teddy bear and he has an amazing laugh which sends me into hysterics every time I hear it. Yet I can't fully commit to making him join varsity. I just can't bring myself to do it.

A guy in a suit always makes my knees weak.

Reasons why Kangin is on the JV-Squad:

1. He really is great with kids, so he'd be great daddy material.
2. He is the "strong" member, which is good because I can't even open a pickle jar. I don't necessarily eat pickles, but you get the point. My future child needs to get strength from somewhere, because it sure as hell will not be me.

Reasons why I'm not 100% sold:

1. Kangin is not exactly the most patient person ever, a fact that is widely known amongst ELFs (or Everlasting Friends for those who do not know the official name of Super Junior's fans). I'm sorry, but patience is pretty much mandatory when it comes to [raising] children, and there will no doubt be a lot of baby mama drama going on, so he has to have patience with me as well.

There they are. My five of thirteen Super Junior members that I'd love to have bastard children with. Huge flattery on my part, because I'm the pickiest woman ever when it comes to the opposite sex.

Yours,

The K-Pop Addict