Leeteuk, You Make It Hard to Defend You

I know today is supposed to be reserved for 2PM, but I need to take a moment to touch upon this subject. And the subject being it is incredibly hard to defend Leeteuk's manliness and sex factor when he does the following things:

Yes, it is ... um, artistic? ... and I am having huge GD flashbacks right now, but really ... this isn't necessary. This is never necessary.

Just like the shower cap is not necessary. And neither is this five-years-too-late-Myspace-default picture.

AND THIS IS NOT EVEN FUNNY. I mean, cool, you get facials and you relax and whatever ... I don't judge. If a guy wants to get all that done and pamper himself, then whatever. The guy works hard, he deserves to relax. But do you really have to put a picture of it on Twitter and make it nearly impossible for me to convince people that you actually are sexy?

Thankfully, pictures like the following surface, and people believe me.

It is still those few moments where people look at me as if I'm completely delusional and insane, when we all know that I am only partially delusional and insane.

C'mon, Teuk. Make it easy for me a little bit, okay? That's all I ask.

TKPA

Leeteuk, You Have Some Splainin' to Do!

WHY?! WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS?! I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU WOULD LET THOSE EVIL COWS MANIPULATE YOU INTO DOING SOMETHING LIKE THIS. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO MANIPULATES EVERYONE INTO DOING YOUR BIDDING. YOU COULDN'T JEDI-MIND-TRICK THEM INTO GIVING YOU SOMETHING HOT CIRCA "SORRY SORRY" AND "IT'S YOU?!"

YES, I KNOW I KIND OF THOUGHT THE WHOLE "DON'T DON" PHASE WAS HOT, MINUS THE RAT TAIL. BUT SERIOUSLY, TEUK, THIS IS AWFUL, AWFUL, AWFUL! I COULD KIND OF GET INTO G-DRAGON BLONDE, BUT THIS CAN'T EVEN BE CLASSIFIED AS BLONDE!

IT'S YELLOW! YOU HAVE YELLOW HAIR! WHY THE ... WHAT THE ... HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?!

THIS IS FUCKING GROUNDS FOR DIVORCE. BUT YOU KNOW I WON'T DIVORCE YOU BECAUSE YOU KNOW THAT NO MATTER WHAT STUPID, UGLY HAIRSTYLE YOU WEAR, I WILL LOVE YOU UNCONDITIONALLY AND I WILL LEARN TO FUCKING DEAL WITH IT AFTER BITCHING AND MOANING FOR TWO MINUTES. FUCK YOU AND YOUR COMPLIANCE WITH THOSE EVIL COWS. I HATE YOU BUT I LOVE YOU.

Sorry, I felt like typing this in all caps.

TKPA

TKPJ Makes a Choice (Finally)

Hi! Remember me? I haven’t been around so much lately… sorry guys, but now I’m back! So I have had a problem for a while and I think I finally solved it. My problem is that two of my favorite guys in the K-Pop world are good Christians and neither can go into my baby daddy category….

I’m talking Taeyang and Siwon. Both are super hot and have bodies that can make girls go faint. To solve my problem I thought I could do a list of pros and cons, but of course I am too indecisive, you can ask TKPA. So that did not help. All the while I was thinking that both do not do sex before marriage and both really hadn’t had girlfriends. Here comes another problem…. I have a giant crush on another man! While I was listening to some music, one person’s voice really stuck out to me, who always really stands out and I can’t get enough of his sexy voice: Teddy.

Oh God, how he can rap a whole three lines in Tae’s song and totally steal my attention from Tae for the rest song. After listening to “Where U At” several times I decided that I can’t live without Teddy being somewhere on my list.

How do you think I will work out my dilemma?

 

Teddy is very attractive to me. He has the confidence that just shows through in his pictures. I like his body structure even though I have not seen anything that he is working underneath. Teddy is also very successful. He was in 1TYM and he now produces music. His voice is so sexy that if he just said one sentence to me I would do anything he wanted. Whenever his lends his voice in other artists music I stop and replay it over and over again. Just imagine him whispering dirty things in your ear in a crowded room that would drive you crazy until you attacked him as soon as you got into the parking garage or your car. Tearing clothes off without even thinking. MMMMhhhhmmmm!
 

 

I don’t even know where to begin with describing this cutie. He is cute and sweet. He has a hot body I would love to lick every inch of because it is rock hard. I can only imagine he would be the best husband ever because he would be the type of guy that would buy you flowers on the walk home or would go out and buy you your favorite, a caramel apple, because he knew you would love it and him. So with Tae I could see him being all shy until you get him behind closed doors and he has the room all lit with candles and the mood just right, of course after you say “I do.” I have no doubt there is a sex god waiting to explode out of him the moment he sees my lacey lingerie just waiting for him to touch. Oh yes I have plans for him if we get married. :)

Oh, Siwon is all I can think when I look at this man’s face. First off let me say that he has an awesome body and face, and he is TALL. Yes that four letter word means a lot because I like tall guys. I like to lean up to kiss them, stand on my tippy toes and just wait for them to scoop me up and lay one on me. I can see Siwon doing that. Although the bad thing about Siwon is he puts this cover up that he is a perfect gentleman, but he can give an intense bitch look which makes me feel he might not be future husband material. But can you imagine the hot angry sex after you did something to deserve that bitch look? Oh yeah, it would be hot, steamy, angry and passionate. There is a lot of power in that look.

I have put off choosing my future husband long enough. After a long thought I decided that Teddy should be on my Baby-Daddy-To-Be List because he is older and he can support our children. Also I think he would make a great father! I choose Siwon to Be My Boyfriend because I can see us being a fling of hot dirty sex that I will seduce him into. No one can resist my seducing powers once I release them! My Future Husband will be Tae because I think he would be the best husband in the world and plus I get to make hot, passionate love to him every day. How can I resist his gentle smile and the love in his eyes?

I think I always knew he was going to win over Siwon. It was just a matter of time.

TKPJ

Meat Market

WHO KNEW?!

Who knew that Leeteuk had abs? Well, I did. I just knew he had to, but I wanted proof. I guess I can cross this off the list of things I need to find out, right?

I wanted to post about this the other day, but this seriously makes an awesome Meat Market post, because a lot of people would not be expecting this.

DAMN!!

Future hubby gets a 10 from me. No doubt about it.

1 – Did absolutely nothing for me

3 – Ehh, I've seen better

5 – Definite potential, but not my cup of tea
8 – Jaw-dropping
10 – Self-combustion

You know the deal, either comment or tweet me your rating and at the end of day, Teuk will be judged. You have until midnight!

END RESULT: Aw, my future hubby came out with an 8! Surprising, really!

TKPA

Hello, Leeteuk's Pecs!

I am so glad some of the Super Junior boys decided to strip you, babe, and hose you down with water at Super Show II in Thailand.

Leeteuk, why would you cover those abs? I need to see them. I know they exist. They have to. Because you have pecs, babe. And if you have pecs, you most definitely have abs. It's like the rule of body building, just common knowledge.

Why are you teasing us? You know we want to see them. We need to see them. Well, I need to see them. Everyone else just wants to see them.

You know what? When we're married, once every few weeks, lets have a water gun fight. Because not only will it be fun and produce mass amounts of laughter, but we can use our marital bedsheets to dry ourselves off.

I don't know how well that'll work, though. We'll no doubt get sweaty and I don't think the sheets can soak up that much liquid.

An endless cycle.

TKPA

Jungsoo's Guns

Just look at those babies. Kind of surprising, no?

I mean, I've always known Leeteuk had guns. I've always seen the luscious, addicting sex appeal that surrounds his entire existance. That's not a shock to me. It might be for some, though. Some people are oblivious to his angry sexiness.

Good, keep it that way. He's mine. Back off, bitches.

No, seriously, though ... he clearly has guns. And if he has guns, I have to wonder if he has abs. I know they won't be along the lines of King of Foreplay or Sex Apprentice or Eight Back Abs Jay. They'll more than likely be along the lines of Master GD's skinny abs, but I need to see those ripples.

I swear I really will buy a plane ticket to Seoul once I see them. I mean it.

TKPA

An Oldie but a Goodie

This is old. Very old. But I don't care, because Leeteuk is looking damn hot. And I will post any picture of my future husband looking damn hot, regardless of how many years ago it was taken.

Doesn't he just look like 5'8" worth of pure, hot, angry sex in this picture? And even though he has to turn his head at the precise angle in order to flaunt off that jaw ... he has a jaw. And his lips might not be as big and juicy as God of Lips' and Lips of Sex's, but they're luscious all on their own.

Baby, I know I am very finicky about how you style your hair, but I really wouldn't mind if you reverted back to the "U" days and made your hair look like this. Really, I wouldn't mind at all. Don't get me wrong, I'd much rather have the "Sorry Sorry" and "It's You" hairstyle above all else, but if you were to come home looking like pure, hot, angry sex with this as your choice of hairstyle ...

Let's just say you'll be rocking the bedhead style for the next few hours.

(PS--Also looking majorly hot, like unbearably hot, in "U" is my boyfriend, Kyuhyun. Yes).

TKPA

Fate Has Spoken

You know how I'm always going on about how my only future husband is Leeteuk? Well, guess what?

"Yeah, I'd marry a foreigner."

Me too! See? It's fate!

Teuk is totally open to a multinational marriage.

AND

He thinks mixed babies are pretty.

I told you, we're going to get married and have children. I'm glad that he said this on Sukira, though. So now you all don't think I'm crazy.

Not entirely, anyway.

But it's good that Teuk has an open mind about these sorts of things. We all know how strict and family-oriented Korean culture is. It's nice seeing that he likes to keep his options open and isn't just set on marrying a Korean girl. Let's hope his parents feel the same way or else I'll have in-laws who hate my guts for not being the "model Korean daughter-in-law."

Whatever, we'll give them gorgeous halfie grandchildren, so they can't hate me too much, right?

Click here to read the transcript that made me extremely happy.

Seriously, though ... our halfie babies would be gorgeous. I'm not going to lie.

TKPA

Teuk, You Need a Haircut, Baby

I'm not digging the current hairstyle you're currently rocking. No, not digging it at all. Maybe if it was a different color, I'd tolerate it a little better. It's just too orange looking on you. It doesn't look right.

Ehhh ...

I love you regardless of your hair (me admitting that I find your "Don't Don" days hot is proof to that) and I will still rip your clothes off upon returning home even if I'm not feeling the hair. But I'm just saying that I find this hairstyle much more angry-sexy.

Oh, yes ...

Don't get me wrong, I still know you're a dirty freak ... but the hair, baby ... it makes me think otherwise. So, here's the deal, you can keep this current hairstyle as long as you strip for me on a nightly basis. Because as long as other girls are thrown off the dirty freak trail that leads to the beroom, that's all that matters.

I need you all to myself.

TKPA

Leeteuk: My Baby Step-Daddy

Considering that I am going to marry this man, it automatically disqualifies him from the Baby-Daddy-To-Be List. While we will be having children of our own, they will be legitimate children. The point of having a baby daddy is to not get married.

Leeteuk is okay with not being on the Baby-Daddy-To-Be List. He'd rather make an honest woman out of me by making me Mrs. Park. So today is devoted completely to my future husband, to give him some extra lovin' before I start talking/thinking dirty about other men. It's only fair.

I know some might not see the overwhelming sex that surrounds Teuk, and I'm glad that you don't. I almost don’t want to share with you why I find this man irresistible, but I will because so far I've only written about how I love him and how he'd make a great husband … but I've yet to talk dirty about him.

That's all about to change.

Yes, in the past, Teuk hasn't always had the manliest style. Neither did any of the other Super Junior guys. That all changed when the 3rd album came out, for every single member transformed from pretty boy to oh-my-God-I-can't-handle-the-hotness. Teuk is no exception.

Have you seen the "Sorry, Sorry" video? What am I saying, of course you have! Then you might have noticed how jaw-dropping-hot Teuk is in that video, with the whole angry-sex face he has going on. He still has that angry-sex face in "It’s You," as well. There's just something about that intense gaze that makes me melt and want him. Like really want him, more than I want Sex God when I hear his voice. Teuk's angry face is like pure sex.

Your angry face ignites NC-17 fantasies in my brain.

If you haven't realized by now, I love it when guys look angry, but they're incredibly gentle and soft in personality. (King of Foreplay, Sex God, Sexy Beast Taek, Teuk fit that description).

I'll talk about his gentle side in a moment, but I really need to hammer the angry-sex factor into your head.

Teuk definitely has the capability to disrobe you as soon as you come home from a day at the office, right in the foyer, pinning you to the back of the front door and having his way with you. Because he's been waiting for you all day and Teuk should never have to wait for sex. Since he's always so damn busy being an attention whore, you'd do the exact same thing to him. (You meaning me, TKPA). I know that when we're married and he has to travel overseas for promotions or shows, I will literally jump on the man before he can even take his shoes off and has the front door closed upon returning home.

Every night of our marriage I will strip him of his clothes with my teeth and kiss (among other things) every single inch of his naked body, excluding the toes because that's just gross and not my thing. Teuk, I will include that in the pre-nup, baby. Yes, I will most definitely sign a pre-nup for you, because I don't want your money. I just want you … every single day and night 'til death do us part.

And maybe it's just me, but Teuk also looks like he enjoys dirty talk in the bedroom. I'll let you use your imagination on that one, because I cannot post such detailed things online. I can only set up the situation for your imagination to finish. But in my mind, it's very dirty, filled with obscenities, vulgar adjectives, and even some slight name calling.

Don't give me that innocent smile. I know you're a freak.

Seriously, he just looks like a complete freak to me. He might act all shy and innocent and cute when there's a camera around, but rest assured there is a whole 'nother side to this man. Do you know how I know this? Because he has the best freaking hip thrusts in "Don't Don" and that kind of force can only be achieved through hours of practice … and I'm not talking about dancing in a studio in front of a mirror. Although there could be a mirror somewhere … like on the ceiling. (Seriously, open that link in a new window and fast forward to 1:03. Do it right now. You'll be glad you did).

But he's gentle enough to where, after you've had headboard busting sex, he'd cuddle with you and tell you how beautiful you are, how much he loves you and how amazing his life is now that you're in it. Teuk would also make love to you, sweet and sensual and pretty much something out of a romantic chick flick, complete with lit candles. (You meaning me, TKPA). Because while headboard busting is always fantastic, it's nice to switch it up every now and then, you know?

Okay so there's the primal side to Teuk, the passionate side … and thankfully, there's the fun side.

Have you seen Introducing Stars Friends? Where Teuk dresses up like a dinosaur or a bear or something ridiculous like a freaking loaf of bread? Not saying that I want him to walk into our bedroom wearing a green dinosaur costume, because I'd probably just die from laughing and any sexual mood would vanish, but because his sense of humor is awesome, there will definitely be lots of laughter. After all, fun sex is sometimes better than intense sex.

And to end this post, I'm going to leave you this lovely performance of "Sorry, Sorry," in which all of the boys look super hot and Teuk is oozing angry-sex. (Watch in HQ!)

Park Jungsoo, baby, I cannot wait until our wedding night (and every single night, morning, and possibly mid-afternoon after that). It'll be one for the record books.

TKPA, aka Mrs. Park

I'm Sorry, Teuk

I've been spending so much time focusing on other Korean men and I have slipped from my usual, daily obsession over you. I know, I'm a horrible future wife.

Rest assured, that I still love you unconditionally. Sure, there are plenty of others out there I'd make my baby daddy in a heartbeat, but you're the only one I'd actually promise to love, honor, cherish, and obey, in sickness and in health, 'til death do us part. I would eat kimchi for you, boo. I smell that stuff and I automatically start gagging, so for me to say that just proves to you my love.

And I don't care if you wear shoelifts. You're 5'8" normally; not tall, yet not exactly pocket-sized. If I put on three-inch heels, we'd be the same height and that's fine by me. But if you want to put in an extra inch or two into your shoes, I'd be okay with it. If you ever decide to forgo the lifts, I would gladly wear flats the rest of my life so I can always be three inches shorter than you. Not really a huge sacrifice on my part, because I hate wearing heels. Still.

I'll even deal with your ridiculous hairstyles. You've had some pretty bizarre ones over the years, love. As much as I used to cringe over the horrible, horrible "Don't Don" days, it grew on me. Largely due to the fact that I associate the half-shaved, half-bleached, partial rat-tail look with the amazing choreography ... but still, I like it nonetheless.

You have nothing to worry about, bb. Even if I do talk about other men, you're still my one and only future husband.

TKPA

I Love You, Park Jungsoo (aka, My Future Husband)

Even though the Super Junior list of future baby daddies is quite competitive, there is absolutely no doubt in my mind the man I want to marry. And that man is none other than Leeteuk.

I don't care if you're sometimes feminine. Still love you, boo.

He grew on me, though. It was not love at first sight for me. As I’ve mentioned before, I was initially attracted to Ryeowook and his cute little five-foot-six, pocket-sized self. But after watching his brief appearance in Full House, in which he says in perfectly-Asian-accented-English, “I love you,” I was hooked. Not to mention his hilarious slash embarrassing display of entertainment in the last episode.

I don’t think life would ever be boring with Teuk around. This boy constantly makes me laugh, regardless of what he's doing. Whether he's demonstrating his wonderfurr Engrish, hogging the spotlight on Star King, dressing up and dancing as a dinosaur, his inability to drive, his wicked virtual piano playing skills, his antics with Boom, and especially all of the Sukira videos. Even his laugh makes me laugh, because it is the greatest laugh to ever have been laughed in the history of all laughs. (How many times did I write "laugh" in that last sentence?)

Seriously, I have so many videos on YouTube marked as favorite of this man. I can't get enough of him. I am fully aware that it sounds totally stalker-like and absolutely insane, but it's true.

And I think that Teuk would make a fantastic husband. He's sweet, incredibly caring, warm-hearted, with a great sense of humor. All of those are excellent qualities for a future husband. Plus, Teuk totally looks like the type of hubby who will bring you home flowers at the end of the day, just because he felt like it. When you're sick, he'll do his best to either cook you chicken noodle soup (or the Korean equivalent) despite the fact that he can't cook well. Granted, he'll probably hover over you while you're lying in the comfort of your marital bed in a state of near-death, and you'll probably become very annoyed by it. Because the last thing you really want so close to dying is someone coming in to check on you literally every two minutes. It's just because he cares, though, and you'll have to tell yourself, "At least he's here." At the end of his long, long, LONG work days (because he is a work-a-holic and somewhat of an attention whore), you can be waiting with a bottle of wine and warming massage oil to help him relax, and then proceed to strip his clothes off with your teeth. Because if you're married to Leeteuk, a nightly stripping session is mandatory. Just think of how he'll repay the favor.

I want ten of your babies. Let's make it happen.

And, unlike certain others in the K-Pop world, I do not have a love-hate relationship with this man. It's pure love, folks.

Yours,

The K-Pop Addict