Baby-Daddy-To-Be List: Super Junior Edition

I have an ongoing debate within myself that I need to talk about. The fact that there are thirteen guys in Super Junior might make one think that there are plenty of guys for a girl to choose from, selecting one to admire and worship and secretly kiss the poster before you go to bed at night (we've all done it at one point, don't deny it).

But the idea of only picking one member is ludicrous, impossible even. It just can't happen, because they are THIRTEEN handsome, totally-delicious-in-their-own-way, each-has-their-own-sex-god-thing-going-on-for-them Korean men. And when you combine that much hotness in one group, the minds of fan girls begin to explode. Especially when you see performances such as this, it's an absolute wonder how teen girls in Asia are able to keep themselves composed and not go totally bat-shit crazy over these boys. (I am very thankful I live on the other side of the world).

While I love every single one of them for individual reasons, there are only five of them that I would consider having an illegitimate, bastard child with, thus giving him the honor of becoming my baby daddy.

First up, is the lovely, hip-thrusting machine, that is the leader, Leeteuk.

Oh, how I love you, bb.

Let me just say, first and foremost, I am absolutely in love with this man for reasons that will be discussed at another time. But that love didn't come right away. In fact, when I first saw the "Sorry, Sorry" video, the one who I thought was a cutie-patootie was Ryeowook, in all of his pocket-sized glory. As I began watching video after video, Teuk was the only one who stood out in my mind, the first name I actually knew. (It took me a while to learn all of their names, even though I knew them all. Thirteen names is hard to remember).

Reasons why Teuk has made the Baby-Daddy-To-Be List:

1. He's gorgeous, and our child will without a doubt have the most luscious lips ever.
2. Teuk has more than once been described by the other members as the "doting" one, the one who cares more about others than he does himself. Any man who is like that gets an automatic spot on the list.
3. He is a master at manipulating people to get them to do his bidding. Could you imagine how successful he will be when it comes time to give our child a bath? Or when the stubborn little brat refuses to go to sleep at night? Teuk could make them do just about anything, without them even knowing it. (Also will come in extreme handy during those pesky teen years!)
4. Seeing him kiss a baby (5:10) made my ovaries ache just a little bit, thus shooting him to the top of the list.
   
   
   The second man in the running is the amazingly sexy Donghae.
   

Mmmm.

I have always, always, always found him to be attractive, but he previously held the number three position. That is, until I saw Super Junior-M's video for their new song, "Super Girl" and realized how unbearably sexy this man truly is. Seriously, pure sex is exactly what he looks like. And it's a refreshing change from the normal, cute kid-at-heart thing he normally has going on. Because even the young at heart can be sexy, correct? The answer is a definitive and resounding YES, YES, YES.

Reasons why Hae has made the Baby-Daddy-To-Be List:

1. Seeing him get kids ready by washing their hands (1:05-2:20) before dinner is touching in a paternal way. Here is a young man (at the time of the show, he was 21) acting like a father to a young boy. If that doesn't get the uterus longing for a tenant, I don't know what will.
2. The baby-making process will be exceptionally fun.
3. Hae will teach our child how to dance, because God knows this white girl cannot dance to save her life. Someone has to pass creative genius onto our child.
4. He will do anything to make children laugh, no matter how ridiculous it may be.

Number three is the baby of the group with a voice that sounds like angels singing in heaven, Kyuhyun.

The nerdtastic Kyuhyun

Kyu is probably the biggest nerd idol you'll ever lay eyes upon, but at least your eyes will be happy gazing upon his gorgeous face. I will say, extremely glad he has strayed away from the "Don't Don" days, in which a HORRIBLE stylist had him bleach his beautiful, beautiful hair. I hope he never returns to that look and that he permanently stays a dark-haired beauty. Kyu loves to play Starcraft, so he is a gamer to the extreme, but who ever said that gamers can't be man-gorgeous?

Reasons why Kyu has made the Baby-Daddy-To-Be List:

1. He can sing Disney songs, so he will without a doubt sing our child to sleep every single night. And if I had my way, he'd sing me to sleep every night too. (Warning: He's a blonde in the vid).
2. Kyu doesn't speak much in interviews and on shows (because there are normally 12 others vying for any type of camera time), but when he does speak, his sense of humor is dry and witty, and he is absolutely perfect for me. Our child will have the weirdest sense of humor. Ever.
3. Seeing how flustered and overwhelmed he became when he volunteered at a home for disabled children was touching and sweet. Normally, a guy panicking about paternal things is a bit off putting, but Kyu managed just fine and earned a spot on the list.
4. I want to pass on his genes to our little halfie baby, because he is gorgeous and our baby will be gorgeous, as well.

Time for the JV-Squad of the Baby-Daddy-To-Be List. These two have potential, but I'm not one-hundred percent sold just yet.

Eunhyuk is one I have mixed feelings about, for he's not the stereotypical, generally-perceived-as handsome as some other Korean idols. But I cannot deny that this man has chest pops and pelvic thrusts that make my jaw drop and turn into some rabid fan girl.

Hyuk looks like raw sex when on stage.

Reasons why Hyuk is on the JV-Squad:

1. Seeing him try to calm a crying baby is hilarious.
2. His jaw is AMAZING. Oh, my. I have to admit, seeing a guy with a square jaw sends me into a tizzy. And (thankfully) majority of Korean male idols have that jaw. Bless those Asian genes!

Reasons why I'm not 100% sold:

1. I've read once before (on a not so-credible source) that my beloved dancing machine Hyuk does not believe in premarital sex and does not drink at all. I don't mind the drinking thing, as I'm not really much of a drinker, anyway. But the point of having a "baby daddy" is to not get married. So, until I hear that piece of information was false, Hyuk will stay on the JV Squad as first string, with a strong possibility to making varsity.

Kangin is on the second string, so to speak. I love him because he seems like a huge teddy bear and he has an amazing laugh which sends me into hysterics every time I hear it. Yet I can't fully commit to making him join varsity. I just can't bring myself to do it.

A guy in a suit always makes my knees weak.

Reasons why Kangin is on the JV-Squad:

1. He really is great with kids, so he'd be great daddy material.
2. He is the "strong" member, which is good because I can't even open a pickle jar. I don't necessarily eat pickles, but you get the point. My future child needs to get strength from somewhere, because it sure as hell will not be me.

Reasons why I'm not 100% sold:

1. Kangin is not exactly the most patient person ever, a fact that is widely known amongst ELFs (or Everlasting Friends for those who do not know the official name of Super Junior's fans). I'm sorry, but patience is pretty much mandatory when it comes to [raising] children, and there will no doubt be a lot of baby mama drama going on, so he has to have patience with me as well.

There they are. My five of thirteen Super Junior members that I'd love to have bastard children with. Huge flattery on my part, because I'm the pickiest woman ever when it comes to the opposite sex.

Yours,

The K-Pop Addict