Someone Please Explain ...

Why is Kim Heechul so disgustingly pretty?

Seriously, no guy should be that pretty, that delicate looking, as it gives women all over the world complexes. As much as I love him (and I really do love him), I would hate to be his girlfriend. Not only would I be insanely self-conscience about my appearance whenever we had a date night, but I probably wouldn't even be able to set foot in the bathroom, as I can safely assume that the entirely-too-pretty-for-his-own-good singer/actor will be firmly planted in front of the mirror, preparing himself for the night's events. (You can see it too, can't you?)

If I ever had a daughter with him, she'd be the prettiest child ever. Hands down.

Oh, Heechul ... I think you'd be the perfect friend for a girl to have. You would make a fantastic buddy to go shopping with, as you're not going to lie to a girl and tell her to wear something that makes her ass look three times its normal size, nor will you sugar-coat your words when telling us that that those pants clearly do not do our bodies justice. Also, because of your dainty hands (which look like you've never had to do a day's work of hard labor in your life), you probably dig manicures, and girls love manicures. Essentially, you are the gay best friend every girl needs to have in her life.

But you aren't gay. Well, at least, I hope you aren't, but your guy-on-guy kisses have made plenty of people think otherwise. You are [presumably] hetero, and you could potentially end up as a friend-with-benefits after one drunken night out at the club. Even though you look dainty, that temper of yours suggests a lot of pent-up aggression that will no doubt surface during a round or two creating the beast with two backs. And hey, even if you are gay, that's okay too. I will still love you regardless. Besides, you weren't on the "Baby-Daddy-To-Be" List, anyway.

Ugh, I loathe you and your perfect, milky white skin.

Yours,

The K-Pop Addict