The Queen of Bitchface

No one can deliver a bitchface like Jokwon.

NO. ONE.

Congratulations, Jokwon! Your TKPA Official nickname is now "Queen of Bitchface." Own it, bb.
TKPA

Sir Pops-a-Lot's Angry-Sex Face

I was going to put this on Twitter, but I decided that it's too damn good not to write about.

Sir Pops-a-Lot sure does have quite the angry-sex face going on, doesn't it? And with how hard he's hitting those chest pops, it might as well be his hips thrusting. It's a preview of just how fierce sex with him is going to be.

Too bad he doesn't believe in premarital, which is why dear Hyukie has been in my BFF category. If anyone can disprove that, though, he will definitely find a new home.

TKPA

Eunhyuk the BFF

The JV Squad for Super Junior's baby daddy list has been decided. Kangin previously was transferred to the Be My Boyfriend category (which I stand by regardless of recent events).

That just leaves Eunhyuk. I tried picturing him in certain categories, but because of the whole no-pre-marital thing, it severely limits where he can be placed. I mean, I can't go against a guy's moral and religious beliefs.

That's why he's in the BFF category.

I can see myself having an absolute blast with Hyuk. His sense of humor is amazing, so there would be endless amounts of laughter coming from me. I'd love to make this guy laugh for no reason, and I feel confident in saying that I can have him in hysterics for no reason. (It's true, I can make people laugh just by laughing). Hyuk can also teach me how to dance. And I'd no doubt have him rolling on the floor in the dance studio  with my ... um, skills ... or lack thereof. He'd have his work cut out for him, that's for sure.

The most important thing about Hyuk is that he's sensitive and sweet. He's the most gullible out of all the members, which makes him a prime target for hidden camera pranks. But his heart is pure gold and he truly cares about everyone around him. A friend like that will always be cherished.

And of course, I can't forget the fact that whenever we see each other, he will have a Light & Fluffy to hand over to me. Because we both love Smoothie King. It's a common interest.

TKPA

The Fantasically Weird Yesung

Who goes out and buys himself a turtle because he's bored? It can only be Yesung.

Oh, Yesung. Where do I even begin with you?

You're so bizarre, bb. Bizarre isn't even a suitable adjective to describe you. I mean, a turtle? Really? What can you do with a turtle? Once The K-Pop Junkie and I wanted to purchase some hermit crabs and keep them in the living room in our apartment. Then we realized, "What the hell are we going to do with hermit crabs?"

There is more to you than unusual quirks, like spastic dancing, touching people's upper lips, and sneaking up behind people like an assassin (all featured in Come to Play). Your voice is pure love and -- seriously, I'm not remotely kidding on this -- I listen to "Let's Not" every single night right before falling asleep. You, Kyuhyun, and the pocket-sized-cutie Ryeowook have incredible voices and I cannot listen to any ballad by any other idol group. You've spoiled me rotten.

Here's to you and your one-of-a-kind personality and amazing voice. Keep it up, boo.

TKPA

My New BFF: Jokwon

It is one of my life goals to meet this man and befriend him. Others might want to wipe out world hunger, find the cure for cancer, or establish world peace. Not me. I'd be completely satisfied if Jokwon were my BFF.

I want to hug him. And go shopping with him.

Just imagine spending the day with him.

You'd meet up in the late morning/early afternoon, where you'd catch up over tea about the important things going on in your lives. You know ... work issues, love life or lack of one, the conversation you had with your mother about when you're going to get married and give her tons of grandbabies that she'll only come over to play with for like an hour, anyway.

Jokwon would probably be a better shopping companion than Kim Heechul, because while Heechul might tell you the brutal truth and thus shatter your self-esteem, Jokwon will deliver the blows gently and be quick to suggest something ten times more flattering for your figure. And seriously, he looks like he'd enjoy a good hour or two at the spa, getting a deep tissue massage and facial, mani and pedis immediately following. After the beautifying is complete, you'd end the night dining out at a fancy restaurant where you'll both be wearing the new ensembles you purchased earlier in the day, followed by a night out on the town.

Jokwon is the type of guy who would comfort you and make you laugh when you're crying over some douchbag-of-a-guy that broke your heart. He'd have no problem going to the video store and renting Steel Magnolias, When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle, and While You Were Sleeping (some of the biggest chick flick movies ever filmed), showing up at your place with pints of Ben & Jerry's Phish Food and Half Baked ice-cream, and a gigantic box of tissues. Yes, Jo-Jo would totally do all of that, as well as let you cuddle with him on the couch. However, he will drag your ass out of bed at an ungodly early hour the next morning and force you into the gym to burn off all the calories the ice-cream racked up. It's a good thing, though. Tell yourself that even if you feel like punching him in the face.

Because of his occupation, Jo-Jo knows pretty much everyone in the Korean entertainment industry, which means that after he's had enough of eating ice-cream with you, he'll hook you up with a fellow idol who deserves to be with you. You'll be backstage at major events and get special access into the recording studio that any fan-girl would envy you for. Not saying that this is a main factor at becoming Jokwon's BFF, but it's a nice little perk.

Another little perk? He has a fantastic body.

Please be my BFF, Jokwon.

Okay, that's a major perk, not a little one.

TKPA