WHY MUST YOU LOOK LIKE G-DRAGON?! WHY MUST YOU EMANATE SUCH SEX APPEAL THAT MAKES YOU IRRESISTIBLE?
There can't possibly be that many cocky Korean men. There can't possibly be that much swagger and badass-ness to go around.
Right?
I mean, because if there are a lot of cocky, totally fuck-worthy Korean men out there, then we are all done for. Kind of like an apocalypse of sexually desirable Asian men that are wanted worldwide, by females and gay men. Hell, maybe even a few straight men and gay females. You cannot underestimate the lethal, cold-shower-inducing attraction these idols possess.
Just look at us. That's enough proof.
TKPA
Admit it ... there is just one male idol, above all others, that just does something to you. He makes your ovaries twitch and ache and makes your uterus long for a tenant for forty weeks. It doesn't matter what he does. A new or old performance, a TV appearance, or even just looking at a damn picture sends you into a complete melt-down state of wanting to enter motherhood.
You know exactly who I'm talking about.
This isn't necessarily a category, it's more like bragging rights. Only the top five will be posted on the right sidebar, like the holy list of men you want to have lots of unprotected sex with.
It can be any idol, from any group so long as he's over the legal age, because I don't want to start promoting teen parenting. I'm already going to K-Pop hell by corrupting your minds, I don't want to add another thing to the list. You can vote for more than one guy, because you know that I have an incredibly difficult time choosing between Master GD and Sex God. I don't expect you to choose between two (or three) luscious idols; I sure as hell can't. Note: It can be as many as you want, but try to keep it under ... oh, let's say six men, okay?
We're going to do something different this time around, so as not to spoil anything. YOU MUST EMAIL ME YOUR CHOICES!! In an email to tkpa@live.com, the subject line should read "Cervix Punchers" and then your picks in the body of the email. PLEASE USE THAT EMAIL ADDRESS! I won't count it if you email it to any other address!! Also, I'm disabling the comments to ensure that you actually email me!
I'll be keeping track and tallying the scores and then I'll announce the top five. Every few months or so we'll vote again to update the Cervix Punchers and see if your hearts (or ovaries) have found new loves (or baby daddies).
Voting ends May 27th!
So, since the number of votes has been pretty damn pathetic, I have to open up the option of tweeting your choices to me rather than strictly using email (if your account is locked and I am not following you, then I will not see it. That means you must email me if you wish to participate). I don't know why some of you feel uncomfortable with emailing me.
I wanted to do the email-only vote this time so as not to spoil anything. I know how easy and tempting it is to count up the votes when you see them in the comment section. This way it's more of a surprise for you all. So, in August, we will return to the usual way of doing things.
TKPA
YOU KNOW HOW TO MOLD YOUR BOYS INTO PURE SEX!
Fuck, I love you, Eunhyuk. I mean, I'm not crazy about the whole French clown make-up thing you have going on. Quite honestly it's creeping me out just a bit and making me see you as a mime.
But that's why I am not focusing on your face and instead am looking at your naked torso with suspenders.
I really need to buy The Boyfriend some suspenders now.
TKPA
If I am going this crazy over a damn teaser, just imagine what the actual MV is going to be like ...
To start, let me just say, to every K-Pop male idol group in existance or for those upcoming in the future, this is how you should start every teaser. Whether it be a ballad or whatever, you should pick the most muscular man in the group and make him wet by placing him in the shower or in the rain.
Because if you do, you're golden. Instant amount of fans.
I have been slacking on my MBLAQ stalking as of late, so I had no idea how gorgeous and totally delicious my dear G.O looks without the facial hair. I mean ... wow wow wow wow wow!
I kind of wish he debuted without all that crap on his face, because he looks a million times better clean shaven.
And my AMAZING, SEXY SEUNGHO is as always, ovary-aching. Look at those fingers brushing against those lips. I am very jealous of those fingers right now. They get to feel those plump, juicy beauties every day.
He's so damn sex.
As is Joon. Even when he's fully clothed, he radiates pure sex. THAT JAW. MY GOD IS IT BEAUTIFUL OR WHAT?
The thing I love the most about Joon, though, is that he has become the member who will always be shirtless or in shower scenes or in rain scenes. Thank you, Ninja Assassin. You have made the boy less shy about flaunting that shit all over our computer screens.
Even Mir is looking less cutesy and more and more sexy. I am not understanding what is up with all these former cuties become suddenly animalistic (I'm looking at you, Sungmin), but I will not complain for fear that the latest trend will go away.
AND THE BIGGEST SURPRISE IS HOW FUCKING SEXY THUNDER HAS BECOME. WHEN THE FUCK DID THIS HAPPEN? HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? SWEET LORD, YOU HAVE BEEN CATAPULTED UP IN THE RANKINGS, THUNDER DEAR!
I MEAN, SERIOUSLY. WHERE THE HELL DID HE LEARN HOW TO GIVE THAT LITTLE BITCHFACE-ARROGANT-COCKY EXPRESSION? I APPROVE OF YOUR NEW STYLE, THUNDER. I APPROVE! I APPROVE! I APPROVE!
Just about the only thing I'm not fond of is the whole F.Cuz "Jiggy" wardrobe. It seems like they stole the clothes, butchered them a little bit, and recycled the set. But for MBLAQ I can deal with anything ridiculous. All five of them are just sexy as all hell.
Check out the teaser here.
My rookie babes are growing up so fast!
TKPA
Oh.
My.
God.
Is this real?
Yes, yes it is very real.
How the ...
When did ...
Sungmin has abs?!
Not just abs ...
HOLY-FUCK-ABS!!!!!
Dirty thoughts about that once cute little ...
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
SUPER JUNIOR BOYS HAVE BEEN CHANGING FOR THE BETTER.
MORE FLESH. MORE FLESH. MORE FLESH.
Damn.
TKPA
