The Best Paragraph I Have Ever Written

I'm a writer by birth. I've pretty much been making up short stories, crappily illustrating them, since I was a little kid. The earliest I remember was when I was in third grade, at the age of eight. All throughout my school years, even up 'til college, my teachers/professors have commented on my creative writing ability, the "voice" I lend.

Yet none of that compares to the following paragraph that is amazing in oh-so-many ways. It comes from the Kim Heechul Debate in which The K-Pop Junkie and myself got into a ridiculously long and loony argument over whether we love the guy or we hate him. Like most of our conversation, there are so many random WTF moments in the comment section of that post, and it was the first time we actually demonstrated how dysfunctional we really are. (Another example, we once spoke in a British accent for five hours for no reason other than the fact that we could).

The Junkie brings up things that shouldn't have been brought up in the first place, like how when I marry Leeteuk, I'd be okay if he wanted to do a reality show about marriage and raising kids. A total Jon and Kate minus the fail part and minus eight children. I told her Teuk could make me do anything, which is VERY true, and she replied that Siwon could make her do anything ... but G-Dragon couldn't.

Which forced me to write this:

WHY DO YOU GOTTA HAVE TO BRING G-DRAGON INTO THIS, JUNKIE?!
Oh, hell no. You just ensured this to spin a whole 'nother course for bringing up my beloved, precious, need-to-wear-sunglasses-indoors-at-night-because-his-hair-is-too-bright, Kwon Ji-Yong. That boy is pure, raw, OMG sex when he's on stage and in performance mode. And even when he's off stage and relaxing, he's the sweetest, carefree individual ever and that is hot and sexy in its own damn way that makes me want to just cuddle and love him and have endless amounts of fun sex all while laughing and giggling and then after his performance it'll be mind-blowing-body-numbing BEST SEX IN THE HISTORY OF SEX because he is a dirty inner freak.
DO NOT BRING UP GD, OR ELSE I TRULY WILL PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE.

Understand that this was written at three in the morning, and for some reason, everything is a lot funnier at that time. If you don't laugh, come back when you're well past sleep deprivation and on your way to full-blown insomniac. It'll be freaking hilarious then.

TKPA