Oh, You've Learned Well

You have learned exceptionally well, Joon. Because you know what it takes for me to love you. Ab flashing, cocky grin, your cute, playful ways ... and you also know what it takes for me to hate you.

Cocky grin and NOT FLASHING THE ABS.

I mean, what the hell is that about? True, the camera wasn't on you like always, it was way far away and you looked like a little ant dressed in a ripped blue shirt ... but still, there were plenty of ladies in the audience whose ovaries were aching, who were standing right in front of you, waiting to see those luscious washboard abs that you've been flaunting even before debut ... and you denied them the chance. You only lifted it up half way, on one side. You half-assed the flaunting, boo. And that right there is immediate grounds for you being placed in Back-up Boy.

I cannot and will not do that to you, because I knew that this day would come. I knew that one day you'd be selfish and keep your abs to yourself. It actually makes us go even more insane that way, it makes us want you even more. So not only were you the valedictorian at the G-Dragon School of Cocky-Korean-Idols, but it seems that while in college you've been taking a few courses offered by the King of Foreplay, like Quick Ab Flash 101 and The Art of Foreplay.

Or did you purposely not show the abs because you're mad at me for not taking part in the perversion over you on Twitter yesterday? I'm sorry, I really am. I feel awful that I missed it, but I was lying in my bed, in the dark, feeling like I was going to die and that my head was going to explode all over my pillow. I'm sorry I didn't get to share in on the perversion and exploit you and your abs. I know you like it when I talk about you in that way, but you can't punish me and the rest of the fan girls in the world for that. If anything, you showing your abs would make me feel much, much better.

I'm pissed at the cameramen who were filming your latest performance, boo. Because not only did they zoom way out during your brief-half-assed flash, but they barely focused on SeungHo's pants and during Thunder's solo rap, the camera was shakey. Seriously, I've seen fancams more steady than that.

Joon, baby ... you need to revert back to this ab flash, complete with cocky grin at the end. It was majorly working for you, and if something isn't broke, don't fix it.

Check out the performance in which MBLAQ did amazing, but the cameramen screwed us all over.

TKPA