MLBAQ's Blood, Sweat, Tears, and Oozing Hotness

Hello my lovely readers and/or followers! Hope you all had fantastic Holidays and I hope your New Year was amazing and that you're enjoying 2012 thus far ... also known as the last year of our lives ... just kidding.

Only MBLAQ can make me come out of my relaxation state on my day off to sit in an uncomfy chair and spazz relentlessly about them. And it's been so long since a proper MBLAQ spazzing has taken place that I feel a tad bit rusty, so if at any point it turns into straight out incoherent statements, I trust that those who speak "fangirl/fanboy" can interpret it into logical thoughts.

I have come to the conclusion that Joon likes guns.

He likes big guns.

Blueprints of them, even, so he can disassemble and then reassemble at his pleasing.

He spends so much time with his guns that he watches any movie where guns are the focal point. He saw Wanted in theaters thirty-seven times, partly because he wanted to learn how to curve a bullet, but mostly because he liked the soothing sound of Morgan Freeman's voice. All that studying and popcorn inhaling came to good use once he learned how to curve that bullet, though.

He likes to hoard his guns in a junkyard so no one will find him, because who in their right mind voluntarily goes to a junkyard?

Except for Thunder, who lives there as a care-taker, which in my opinion has to be the worst job ever.

And he also sleeps in a van.

Going out on a limb here, but I'm pretty sure Thunder has a certain ... aroma of the not pleasant variety.

The awkward moment when the girl you were going to kill has fallen for the less hot, non-weapon-carrying so-called, backstabbing best friend you've entrusted to take care of the target, who, looking back on it now, you've should have just pulled the trigger.

The dramatic portion of the video is basically Joon is going to assassinate this girl. Why? Who the fuck knows? Maybe she is late on paying her Macy's credit card bill, and you know sometimes those bill collectors can be a little hasty. But then he sees someone else wants to kill her and it's like OH HALE NO, so he rescues her and then takes her to THE MIDDLE OF A JUNKYARD TO RECOVER AFTER BEING SHOT. Seriously, I could not think of a more sanitary place than a junkyard.

And then, he leaves to play with his guns, and upon returning, he realizes that the girl he was going to originally kill has fallen for Thunder. He gives major bitchface, more bitchy than Joon has ever given (bravo, bb, bravo!), and then pulls her outside. Thunder and Joon get into a fight, Joon pulls a gun out on them ... and then after this I get like ... huh?

Does Joon purposely try to kill himself by curving the bullet around them to come back like a boomerang? It really had to be that dramatic? And then when he dies, they pull out what I think are plane tickets ... so why couldn't you just say "HEY, BRO, I'm taking her away so she'll be safe!" Then you wouldn't have had to die and Thunder would be all "Cool, bro, call me when you land, and please resist the urge to kill her during your travels."

JOON'S DEATH WAS UNNECESSARY TO THE PLOT. IT COULD HAVE ENDED PEACEFULLY.

Also the girl choosing Thunder over Joon is completely unrealistic. I mean, why would you choose Thunder, someone who quite possibly smells and can only offer you the tallest compost pile on the lot, versus Joon, a sexy gun-toting bad ass who fell under your spell and wants to whisk you away for a thrilling life on the run? Yes, in reality I'm positive Thunder smells a heck of a lot better than Joon's unhygenic ass, but we are not talking about reality. We're talking about entertainment. And I want to see Joon not dead at the end of my music video watching experience.

Oh and you think this post is over ... but we still have three other members who weren't included in the dramatic plot. What's up with that? (I blame it on Rain being in the army).

OH MY BEAUTIFUL SEUNGHO. PLEASE NEVER EVER CHANGE. YOUR LIPS. YOUR HAIR -- NOT QUITE WHAT I AM USED TO ON YOU BUT STILL PERFECTION AT ITS VERY DEFINITION. I CAN EVEN HANDLE THE COLOR BECAUSE IT ISN'T THAT AWFUL BLONDE, IT IS A REAL COLOR FOUND IN NATURE. AND WHEN YOU CRY ... OH DEAR LORD WHEN YOU CRY I JUST WANT TO KISS THOSE PINK STARBURST JUICY LIPS AND TELL YOU IT WILL ALL BE OKAY AND BLOT THOSE TEARS AWAY WITH A TISSUE.

NEVER. EVER. EVER. EVER. EVER. EVER CHANGE.

MIR YOU ARE ALL GROWN UP AND ANGRY AND SEXY AND I JUST WANT TO MAKE TIGER NOISES AND PAW AT YOU ALL SEXILY BECAUSE YOU ARE JUST ON A WHOLE NEW LEVEL AND I FUCKING LOVE WHOEVER STYLED YOU. FLAWLESS AND YOU HAVE NEVER LOOKED BETTER.

AND OF COURSE A SPAZZ FEST WOULD NOT BE COMPLETE WITHOUT SOME G.O ACTION. THOUGH I MISS YOUR MUSTACHE, YOU STILL LOOK HELLA FINE WITHOUT IT AND DEAR LORD YOU JUST OOZE HOTNESS. EVERYTHING YOU DO IS AMAZING AND PERFECT AND I LOVE YOU.

Since I already talked so much about Thunder and Joon at the beginning of this post, all I will say is this:

Thunder looks so much more ... complete with eye-liner. Let's not push it to "I'll Be Back" proportions, but a little goes a long way.

I have never seen Joon more flawless in any video. Seriously, he is in the top five of the most gorgeous K-Pop idols.

I would say to check out their new video if you haven't yet, but who would I be kidding?

REWATCH AGAIN AND AGAIN THE NEW MLBAQ VIDEO!

TKPA

MBLAQ Needs Some Tissues for "Cry"

MBLAQ rarely disappoints me. I don't think they ever have, to be honest. I love all their videos, I love their songs ... and "Cry" is no different.

From beginning to end, this was a beautiful music video. The choreography was excellent (of course, because Rain choreographed it), the song is so depressingly beautiful and their vocals deliver that heartache and longing to your ears. To have that ability, to make someone feel your pain through your voice ... that's such an amazing gift.

It seems like the general consensus of this MV is that it's perfect except for the make-up. And I have to throw in the clothes into the bonfire too. We all know that MBLAQ hasn't had the nicest of stylists in the past. Sometimes they hit it dead on and get gold stars all across the board. Other times they fall really, really, insanely short.

Thunder ... he's kind of all over the place. Hair, ehhh not really the best color on him, but it's been much worse so he is improving. And he should have ditched those necklaces because they just look so odd with that type of jacket. Eye make-up to that degree is never acceptable.

Oh, my precious SeungHo. Sweetheart, please please please get rid of that orange hair. It's not sexy on you, not at all. Go back to brown, or red, or HEY! Even black! Go au naturale, pretty please. Other than that, you kind of have it right with the clothes, but whatever that necklace/belt chain thing is just provokes confusion and takes us away from your face and your lips.

I laughed when the camera first focused on G.O. Poor guy has his bangs all in his eyes and he reminded me of one of those furry, mop-looking dogs that can't ever see because their hair grows down in front of their eyes. I mean, not one stylist could have been like "Hey, let's just trim this about 1/4 of an inch"? You can't even see his eye make-up (which is a good thing, but still), except for a few little sparkles peeking through.

Cute little Mir is all grown up and better than ever. I never feel a disappointment with him, he seems to always be able to pull off certain things better than the others. Though he can't pull off the eye make-up. I repeat, eye make-up to that degree is never acceptable.

And I much as I love this man (and if you've been reading this blog long enough, you know I LOVE him), Joon just ... oh, no honey. No, no, no. There's just too much going on here.

I will say, the hair color looks fantastic. Definitely a keeper, please don't ever change it (though I know you will). And of course, his hotness factor is always present. Even if you put a paper bag over his head, you would still know he's hot. But those gloves? No, they aren't really doing it for me. He looks like he just came back from his shift at the wharf unloading fish from the boats. I don't want to think of smelly, dead fish when I look at you, Joon. The necklace is unnecessary.

You're a man wearing a suit. Honey, you don't need a necklace.

EYE MAKE-UP TO THIS DEGREE IS NEVER ACCEPTABLE. I DON'T CARE WHO YOU ARE. I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE RAIN, IF YOU'RE T.O.P, OR WHOEVER. 2PM DID IT WITH "I'LL BE BACK" AND THEY LOOKED RIDICULOUS. WHY WOULD YOU SUBJECT YOURSELVES TO THIS RIDICULE, MBLAQ?!

Please no more eye make-up! You don't need it to make you look better because you're already hot.

Check out MBLAQ's new MV for "Cry" below!

TKPA

MBLAQ is (Almost) Back

If I am going this crazy over a damn teaser, just imagine what the actual MV is going to be like ...

To start, let me just say, to every K-Pop male idol group in existance or for those upcoming in the future, this is how you should start every teaser. Whether it be a ballad or whatever, you should pick the most muscular man in the group and make him wet by placing him in the shower or in the rain.

Because if you do, you're golden. Instant amount of fans.

I have been slacking on my MBLAQ stalking as of late, so I had no idea how gorgeous and totally delicious my dear G.O looks without the facial hair. I mean ... wow wow wow wow wow!

I kind of wish he debuted without all that crap on his face, because he looks a million times better clean shaven.

And my AMAZING, SEXY SEUNGHO is as always, ovary-aching. Look at those fingers brushing against those lips. I am very jealous of those fingers right now. They get to feel those plump, juicy beauties every day.

He's so damn sex.

As is Joon. Even when he's fully clothed, he radiates pure sex. THAT JAW. MY GOD IS IT BEAUTIFUL OR WHAT?

The thing I love the most about Joon, though, is that he has become the member who will always be shirtless or in shower scenes or in rain scenes. Thank you, Ninja Assassin. You have made the boy less shy about flaunting that shit all over our computer screens.

Even Mir is looking less cutesy and more and more sexy. I am not understanding what is up with all these former cuties become suddenly animalistic (I'm looking at you, Sungmin), but I will not complain for fear that the latest trend will go away.

AND THE BIGGEST SURPRISE IS HOW FUCKING SEXY THUNDER HAS BECOME. WHEN THE FUCK DID THIS HAPPEN? HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? SWEET LORD, YOU HAVE BEEN CATAPULTED UP IN THE RANKINGS, THUNDER DEAR!

I MEAN, SERIOUSLY. WHERE THE HELL DID HE LEARN HOW TO GIVE THAT LITTLE BITCHFACE-ARROGANT-COCKY EXPRESSION? I APPROVE OF YOUR NEW STYLE, THUNDER. I APPROVE! I APPROVE! I APPROVE!

Just about the only thing I'm not fond of is the whole F.Cuz "Jiggy" wardrobe. It seems like they stole the clothes, butchered them a little bit, and recycled the set. But for MBLAQ I can deal with anything ridiculous. All five of them are just sexy as all hell.

Check out the teaser here.

My rookie babes are growing up so fast!

TKPA

How Could You, Papa Rain?

Rumor has it that my MBLAQ babies have a strict rule when it comes to the opposite sex:

They can meet girls, they just can't date them.

What the hell is that about, Rain? I'm totally blaming you for this. You're inhibiting Sex Apprentice's and Lips of Sex's natural, radiating sex factor. And keeping Antonio Jung celibate is unnatural and just plain wrong.

They're young. They're in their prime and you're completely destroying that prime. I mean, if you really don't want them hooking up with random girls just for the hell of it, then supply them with prostitutes that you know don't have any STDs and put them up in a penthouse for the night with bodyguards outside the door. Or make them wear condoms so you don't have some underaged girl saying she's carrying Joon's baby. Take the necessary precautions, but don't deprive them.

All I'm saying, Papa Rain, is that I think you're being a bit too harsh right now with your babes. I think you can ease up a bit on the whole living-like-a-monk rule you've established.

However, if you parade around shirtless, I might consider forgiving you.

TKPA

How Adorkable Are They?

I just want to pinch their cute little rookie cheeks so hard!

Pinching not limited to facial area ...

I missed gushing over my MBLAQ babies. I missed it so much I decided to caption this picture.

Mir: TKPA! You're back! Ummm, we didn't expect you back so soon! You kinda caught me off guard.

Lips of Sex: I'm so happy you're back. Now I get to regularly read about how plump and Starburst-like my lips are.

Antonio Jung: Why are we putting our fingers together?

Thunder: You mean you're finally back? No way! I don't believe it!

Sex Apprentice: Hey, LoS. She might write about your lips a lot, but we all know whose cocky grin and abs make her lose her mind.

Say Whaaat?

Mir: I'll show you cute, TKPA!

Thunder: Whatcha guys doin? Oh, look! A camera!

Lips of Sex: Thunder, bro ... you're a bit too close. Personal space, man. Personal space.

Antonio Jung: Mir, why are you so fucking weird?

Sex Apprentice: Is my hair okay? Believe it or not, this isn't my good side. I still look fucking amazing, don't I?

TKPA

Do You Have Any Long-Lost Latin Relatives?

Because you sure as hell look like you might have some type of Latin spice in your bloodline, Antonio Jung.

I just don't get it. Is it the hairstyle? Was it the sunglasses that you have since thankfully ditched that gave off that mysterious edge? Is it the damn feathers? The colored vest? Is it the suave way you seem to move while on stage?

I have no idea, but I won't question it. You are ridiculously good looking and your voice is just pure Heaven, almost rivaling that of the Dirrrty Geek. It's weird seeing you with facial hair, considering it seems like a plethora of other male idols have trouble growing any type of body hair, let alone facial hair. Weird, but a nice, refreshing change at the same time.

Whatever you're doing that is making you seem to have some sort of Latin sizzle mixed in with your Asian persuasion, whether it be God given or the work of an insanely good stylist, keep it up, Antonio Jung. It's majorly working for you.

TKPA

Birthday Spotlight

Happy 22nd birthday to MBLAQ rookie, G.O!

생일축하합니다!!

Please never wear sunglasses while performing. They don't look right on you for some reason. But I want you to protect your retinas, so you can wear them outside. Once it comes time for you to set foot on that stage, they better be in the dressing room. I'm serious, lovely.

Happy birthday! Hope it's as fantastic as you!

xox

The K-Pop Addict

No Tricks, Just Treats

I love MBLAQ. I really do.

I love them so much that I'm only going to say a few, brief, incredibly dirty sentences about each picture. It's the least I can do for the rookies.

SeungHo, your lips are so fucking gorgeous, I just want to suck on them. And lick them. And bite them. And nibble them. And kiss them. And have them all over my body, leaving saliva trails on my skin. Just saying, I would not mind a hickey from you. Not if they were left with those lips. And that fucking banana, boo? Just amazing.

Oh, God ... Joon ... you look so good even fully clothed. Normally, I'd yell at any idol for covering up the body, but look at you. It's obvious that the oozing sex factor is there, it's just being contained. The reason I am so okay with you wearing clothes, is because I am currently  imagining you yanking off that jacket, throwing it on the floor, while I hurriedly try to pull your shirt off. See? I'm okay with clothing. It can always be removed.

I love this picture of all the boys. Thunder looks surprisingly good in an arrogant, don't-necessarily-want-you-but-I-feel-like-I-should way. Mir  ... you totally look like the cute AV nerd that has the whole ugly duckling syndrome thing going on. I think it's the only time a woman has ever had a fantasy about a male librarian. SeungHo, I WANT. I WANT. I WANT. G.O your expression tells me this: "I know, I'm not wearing shades. I look ten fucking million times better, don't I?" The answer is Y-E-S. Joon, I fucking love you.

And you know, even though Mir doesn't have a drool-worthy bod underneath that geek-chic look the stylist forced him to wear, he still looks pretty damn good. BUT DO YOU SEE JOON'S BICEP? Do you? Do you see how shredded it is? I'd arm wrestle you any day. And by "arm wrestle," I mean let-you-pin-me-down-to-the-bed. Of course I cannot forget my lovely SeungHo, who is working that wife-beater. I'd rather see him in those amazing pants, but I'll deal with this.

I'm not even going to say anything, you won't even be reading, anyway. You're just focusing on Joon's abs, aren't you?

Aren't you?

I don't blame you.

TKPA

Say Whaaat?

I'm doing this now, because it'll be one less thing for me to do later on. And hey, technically it is Thursday.

G.O: Wow! TKPA is right. I do look better without those fucking sunglasses.

Of course, if you have something better, you can share in the comment section.

TKPA

Thanks to @shortney70 for this beauty that made me laugh so hard when I opened my inbox!

Much, Much Better G.O

Kudos to the stylist in charge of SeungHo's pants and for also stealing G.O's sunglasses and tossing them in a nonchalant manner out the window before a bus drove by.

Because G.O looks a million times better without the shades. I know I wrote a post a while ago saying that Asian men look ten times hotter with sunglasses on, but in the case of our dear G.O, that could not be further from the truth.

Never wear the shades, bb. Your smokey eyes need to be staring at us, making us feel weak in the knees and making us want to blush and grin like an idiot. Plus, with your facial hair, the shades make you look like a bit of a creeper. Kind of like the guy who is sitting too close for our comfort on a public bus and we have no idea if you're staring at us or not because the glasses hide your eyes.

That's creepy and you are too handsome to be creepy.

TKPA

I'm Feeling MBLAQ ... Majorly

Unlike the rival rookies, BEAST, these boys have pretty much had my heart from day one. Before I even knew their names, I was marveling over the perfection that is Joon's abs that he tempted and teased me with.

It seems like very few people are feeling the same way towards MBLAQ as I am, which I don't understand why and I think they're absolutely insane, but hey ... who am I to judge?

(This isn't a post to convince you to love them, by the way).

While I agree that pretty much the style for their debut performances has sucked (much thanks to an evil, evil stylist), I cannot help but find these boys amazingly hot.

CheonDung ... man, I don't really know where to begin with you. You remind me so much of your sister (2NE1's Dara) that I can't look at you without seeing her. And you're so little and fragile looking ... but you're cute in your own way and I really like your voice when you rap. One day I will grow to love you like I do the others, but for now I just want to hug you.

GO, baby ... lose the shades. I know that you Korean idols love your damn sunglasses, and I know that pretty much 99% of all men that wear sunglasses increase their sax factor. But you are in the 1% who diminish their sex factor by donning a pair. Seriously, you look AMAZING without them, so why on Earth would you let the horrible, horrible stylist suggest putting them on your face and cover up your gorgeous factor? Leave them at home next time, boo.

Let me just say that I love Mir so much. Really, he's like gorgeous and cute and sexy all wrapped up into one K-Pop idol package. You are my third favorite, respectively. You look so mischievous, but at the same time innocent. You're the kid that can set off stink bombs in the school cafeteria and get away with it because you're cute and you win the principal over by flashing your smile.

I really look forward to seeing what you all can do. But fire your stylist and hire me instead. All of my readers wouldn't want that, wouldn't you? (Yes, yes you would!)

Stay tuned for separate (but equal) posts on Joon and SeungHo!

TKPA

Joon and SeungHo are H-O-T

MBLAQ debuted yesterday and I have finally found out their names, including the man in the red track suit that flaunted his abs just for me.

That man is Joon ... and I think I might quite possibly be in love with him. Because not only is his face absolutely gorgeous, but he likes to show off his abs. I love that quality in a man, truthfully. I bet he likes to walk around the house completely shirtless wearing nothing but black boxers.

But you know who else is undeniably hot from this new boy group? SeungHo.

He's like a bad ass version of Kyuhyun. He has a great voice and (to me at least) he resembles my Kyu. Also, his birthday is Friday, so happy early 22nd birthday to you, lovely!

The other boys are G.O., Mir, and CheonDung. I'm really looking forward to seeing what these boys can do.

What do you think?

TKPA