Long Live the King

Last night we were all going bat-shit crazy and crying over King of Foreplay's new music video, "Wedding Dress." We've been waiting since the beginning of October. A month we've been crying ourselves to sleep over the agony of how long the King was going to make us wait. But you know it's all worth it, lovelies. You know that when the King dishes out any amount of foreplay, you snatch that shit up and bask in the warmth of the Sun.

And after a month of waiting, he finally made us have those Baegasms. Multiple ones. Oh, yes. I love this man. He never disappoints. Ever.

I'm going to send whoever dressed this man a box of Norman Love chocolates, because they succeeded. Seriously, they are an angel and need to teach their evil peers a thing or two. Because he looks so deliciously sexy, doesn't he?

Those pants are just ... majorly working. Majorly, majorly working. And the whole suit and tie thing, King? Instant Baegasm.

Seriously, those pants are amazing.

Really, just truly perfect. Tight enough to flaunt off certain aspects, loose enough to not decrease the number of the King's men. That's very important, you know.

Can I point something out without being attacked and/or guillotined? Look at his feet. He's levitating in this picture, folks. But do you see what I see? Those are grey, outer shoe lifts. Little, teeny platforms that allow the King to reign over all properly. Okay, that's all I'm saying.

The video was a tearjerker. Tae-Tae is so in love with this girl (who shall from here on out be classified as Skankoid), and every chance he has alone with her, some douche of a dude pops out of nowhere and steals the limelight. Really, if I were the girl, I'd be pissed. Because that is obnoxious hanging out with a friend and then having a third friend go all creeper and randomly join me. Also because the King is hot and the other dude not so much.

And really, the way the dude proposes is weak. The way Tae-Tae was going to propose was a little weak too. But it's okay, because he's the King. He could look at me and say, "We're going to the embassy to get married right now." And I'd respond with, "Okay." And then I'm wipe the drool from my mouth.

GTFO, Skankoid!

I wanted to cry near the end. He looked so heartbroken and depressed. Don't worry, boo. There will be plenty of single ladies at the reception that you can run through. Just remember that she'll probably inherit her mother's fat ass, anyway. You dodged a bullet, King. Also, your bling was ten times better.

I'm sorry to post this picture. Really, I am. But you need to see that he wasn't kissing her. He was just delicately pressing his lips against her. Not even that. Their faces were just touching in a, "Can we hurry this up?" sort of way. Because he doesn't look thrilled to be kissing her.

Plus, we all know that our sweet, lovable, shy Tae-Tae wouldn't kiss just any woman unless he was forced to by YG. Tell yourself that repeatedly until the pain subsides and also tell yourself that "Where U At?" is directed toward you and only you. Skankoid has nothin' on you, lady (and mister, for the very few guy readers).

Click here to watch "Wedding Dress" with English subs.

Now it's time to wait [impatiently] for an even bigger dose of multiple Baegasms from the King of Foreplay on Inkigayo.

Long live the King!

TKPA