I'll Take Seungri

I don't understand why some people don't like the Smiling Sex Slave maknae. He's cute and funny. Sure, he might be a little hyper every now and then, and sure, when I watched Intimate Note I wasn't one-hundred-percent sold on him because he whines a little too much for my liking, but he's young.

You're all overlooking the mass potential this boy has. And that's why I say that if no one wants Seungri, I'll take him off your hands.

I will groom him and train him to be the ultimate, steaming sex-pot. He'll be walking, talking, living, breathing sex. I'll teach him how to perfect his smolder sex stare similar to Sex God's, so just looking at the camera with a slight eyebrow raise that lasts a millisecond will send you into a state of want. I'll have him cut back on the whining and enhance the sense of humor, so he'll have you in tears from laughing, rather than tears from why-can't-you-be-mine.

I'll require mandatory training in the gym so his body can surpass the King of Foreplay's. And then I'll make him do every photoshoot half-naked. I'll have him study and watch performances of the King and of Eight Pack Abs Jay ripping their shirts into pieces of fabric.

Of course, I'll also show him how to make a girl's toes curl, in the bedroom and out of the bedroom. Because what kind of teacher would I be to teach him how to be sexy and not teach him all the right tricks in the sack? The worst K-Pop teacher ever.

Fact is, after I'm done with 3S, every time you see him you'll need a cold shower. And I will remind all of you (except for the ones who voted for him in Cervix Punchers) that you didn't want him to begin with.

Seungri, boo ... let's get to work on this ASAP.

TKPA