Thank you, Men's Health magazine, for stripping down Beastly Maknae, oiling up his abs a bit, and then taking endless amounts of high-quality pictures, making them available to way-too-sexually charged people like myself.
Really, you're amazing.
Oh, damn ... I love you, Chansung. And by you, I mean "your hip-dips." And by love, I mean "want to suck on." That sentence should really read like, "I want to suck on your hip-dips, Chansung." Are we clear on that? We really need to be on the same page in regards to this issue. I'm not by any means professing my love for you. I'm not implying that we run off to Vegas and get hitched and have fifteen babies and spend the rest of our lives together.
No, I'm simply saying I want to bite those hip-dips. Hard. So hard to where you have purple TKPA bruises for a few weeks afterward.
Are you cool with that?
Imagine Beastly Maknae walking slow and sexy toward you, and as he is approaching you, you're backing away. And then there's a wall right behind you. And then he comes closer and closer and closer. And then he puts those arms on either side of you, making sure you don't go anywhere. Why the hell would you want to go anywhere?
Fuck.
Oh, and credit goes to The Boyfriend for inspiring the wall-pinning scenario. Thank you ;)
TKPA
Earlier I tweeted this:
Someone offered to throw boxers on stage during the 2PM show in NYC. I am thinking of putting "Sexy Beast Taek" or "Thai Me Up" or "Beastly Maknae" across the ass. Question is, who should be the lucky idol to receive it? Taek, Khun, or Chansung?
Khun actually received the most votes, but it will make me sad to know that the other five boys might possibly feel left out and unloved by this mystery TKPA-person. And I can't have that. I can't have those luscious men thinking that I do not love them as much as I love Khun. They're all equal in my eyes, in my heart, and in my ovaries.
With that being said, I need five more people to step up to the plate right now. And I mean NEED. If you're planning on attending the Wonder Girls concert with 2PM as the opening act, or you know someone who is going, and wouldn't mind throwing a pair of boxers with one of the boys' nicknames on the back, then let me know.
The reason I'm asking for five different people? Because I want them to think that the person throwing the boxers is a crazy stalker, who is following them around the country. Well, no I don't actually want them to think that, but I can't have someone throwing six pairs of boxers on stage. I mean, if you're brave and willing, the most you could do would be like two.
They'll be in Washington D.C., Atlanta, Chicago, Houston, Dallas, Los Angeles, Anaheim, and San Francisco.
Any takers? Know anyone who'd be willing? Seriously, time is crucial on this one, so let me know ASAP.
Across the ass of the boxers, it will have their TKPA nicknames. In case you've forgotten, Taekyeon = Sexy Beast Taek, Nichkhun = Thai Me Up, Wooyoung = WooyoUNF, Chansung = Beastly Maknae, Junho = Big Booty Junee, Junsu = Vocal Sextasy.
On the front leg/thigh area it will read in b-i-g letters "TKPA" and then on the crotch/fly it will read www.thekpopaddict.com, because that is one place they will be absolutely sure to see it.
I'm making my goals happen, damn it!
EMAIL ME if you're interested!
EDIT: Junho's and Junsu's boxers will be thrown in NYC by @KRBekimon_SHOCK. Wooyoung's will be thrown by @kiwichan08.
EDIT: Chansung's and Nichkhun's will be thrown in Dallas by @HitoriCrow and @dark_faery_gyrl.
EDIT: Taekyeon's will be thrown in San Francisco by @ButterflySnrida.
YES! YES! YES! THANK YOU ALL FOR DOING THIS!
TKPA
Tomorrow makes the blog seven months old. Holy cow.
With that in mind, it's only going to be a short amount of time before the big one-year sneaks up on me, and well ... I have a few goals I want the blog to reach before September 23rd.
Goal #1 - I want 6,000 followers on Twitter. I know that is a huge stretch, considering I'm barely past 2,000 right now after seven months ... but still ... it is a goal. (So, uh, spread the word!)
Goal #2 - I want to have 2,000 posts. I'm only at 416 (including this post). I have some major work to do, I realize this. But I figure if I average about 325 posts a month, I will be okay. Meaning, I will be even more obnoxious. Sorry.
Goal #3 - I want one idol who is on Twitter to reply to me. THIS WAS ACHIEVED AUGUST 8, 2010!!!!
Goal #4 - I want one idol who is on Twitter to reply to me in regards to one of my blog posts.
Goal #5 - I want at least one idol to receive a pair of boxers with "TKPA" and the site URL printed on them. THIS WAS ACHEIVED JUNE 6, 2010!!!!
I am also thinking of doing a few more contests/give-aways between now and then, and then a really "big" one on September 23rd. I'm not sure exactly what I will do for that one, but I have a little time to come up with something.
So, do you think I can do it?
I sure as hell hope so.
TKPA
I am going to refrain from criticizing Sex God and the recent unfortunate mishap those evil Japanese cows bestowed upon him. It just looks like cheap paint that you spray in your hair for Halloween. That is what I am telling myself, anyway.
But in light of all the horrendous hair choices (i.e., Leeteuk and Heechul), Master GD has truly come through for me in this time of need.
See, you do things that piss me off, but when other idols piss me off, you're right there to make it all up to me. Seriously loving this new hair, please keep it for a while. (But if you want to go back to the blonde, I'm cool with that too. Just no more Three Stooges look, okay?)
However, it still makes me sad that you have no ass.
None at all. It's really unfortunate. I like my men with a little bit (okay, a lot) of booty.
That's okay. You totally make up for it with the cocky-as-all-hell factor.
TKPA
Normally, "Say Whaaat?" is reserved for Mondays and Thursdays, but I seriously could not wait until Monday to do this so you're getting it on a Friday and you'll like it!
Leeteuk: I'm on a boat motherfucker, take a look at me. Straight floatin on a boat on the deep blue sea. Busting five knots, wind whipping out my coat. You can't stop me motherfucker 'cause I'm on a boat.
Yesung: Take a picture, trick. I'm on a boat, bitch. We drinkin' Santana champ 'cause it's so crisp. I got my swim trunks and my flippy-floppies. I'm flippin' burgers, you at Kinko's straight flippin' copies.
Han Geng: I'm ridin' on a dolphin, doin' flips and shit. The dolphin's splashing, gettin' everybody all wet. But this ain't Sea World, this is real as it gets. I'm on a boat, motherfucker, don't you ever forget.
Donghae: I'm on a boat, and, it's going fast, and, I got a nautical themed Pashmina afghan. I'm the king of the world, on a boat like Leo. If you're on the shore, then you're sure not me-oh.
Eunhyuk: Fuck land, I'm on a boat, motherfucker! Fuck trees, I climb buoys, motherfucker! I'm on the deck with my boys, motherfucker! This boat engine make noise, motherfucker!
Siwon: Shisus does not approve.
And for those of you who have lived under a rock, you should watch this.
TKPA
