Yes, that's right. SEX GOD FLESH!
Just look at it. Look at that non-flab, semi-toned body. It looks wet. Like he just got out of the shower and threw on that white robe.
Damn.
Are your retinas burning? Mine are.
I am so surprised that Sex God would actually show his body in anything less than two layers. We all know how that man likes to cover himself up and make us wonder and imagine what is underneath all that cotton mystery. It's kept many of us tossing in turning in our beds at night, hoping and praying to the K-Pop Gods that he is no longer flabby and just ....
Well, he'll never be along the lines of King of Foreplay, but we've come to expect that. We know that's asking for too much.
This? Perfect.
Relax, lovelies. You can sleep peacefully tonight knowing that Sex God's body is pretty damn sexy and amazing, just like his face. And his voice. And him in general.
Thanks to @xAmyAshx for the tip!
PS -- There's question as to whether or not this is real. I say who cares? Enjoy it and think dirty about it.
TKPA
#5 Jaebeom, with a total of twelve votes.
Jumping from #7 to #5 isn't bad. It's amazing how your lust and obsession for this man still hasn't faded. But I know you've been watching countless clips of Eight Pack Abs Jay grinding and I know whenever you listen to "All Night Long," you're thinking of him and how that song was made for him to perform to. Who knows? Maybe he does dance to it. In his bedroom. In front of his mirror. In his underwear.
#4 Taeyang, with a total of fourteen votes.
In November, the King of Foreplay was #2 with twenty-four votes. True, it was right after "Where U At" and "Wedding Dress," where he was just ovary-exploding-sexy ... but still, the amount of wavering love your cervix has shown this King is sad. It's okay, Tae-Tae. I still love you.
#3 G-Dragon, with a total of fifteen votes.
#3 last time, #3 this time. We don't know what the hell it is about this guy, but our ovaries know what's up. That's all that matters.
#2 Taekyeon, with a total of twenty votes.
In November, he was #4. I blame the ripping-of-the-shirt-and-revealing-abs performance(s), the busting through ice all angry-sexy, the giant sex scream, and of course him saying, "Shhhh." You win, Sexy Beast Taek. YOU WIN.
#1 T.O.P, with a total of twenty-seven votes.
You knew it, I knew it. I swear it will be a cold day in K-Pop Hell when this man is not number #1.
Voting will come back in May! Thanks for voting, and if you didn't ... well, you suck!
TKPA
I really need to work harder to pervert your minds. This shit is getting ridiculous.
#10 Donghae (5 votes) - What. The. Fuck. In November, you were our beloved Fifth Cervix Puncher. You had twelve votes. And now you have five. I'm so sorry, Hae baby. I want to cry knowing that you are going to stalk this blog to see if your rank increased any, only to find that you have fallen. Don't worry, boo. These bitches won't know what hit them come May.
#10 Nichkhun (5 votes) - Okay, I'm impressed a bit, considering you only had two votes last time around and were #12. I thought you should have received more last time too. Glad some people came to their senses.
#9 Rain (6 votes) - I think the Ninja Assassin hype died down a bit, and Rain's glorious sweaty abs have not been thrusted at us on a daily basis. Yes, I'm sure that's it. Considering you were #6 last time with eleven votes. (Sidenote: Ninja Assassin DVD is coming out in mid-March!)
#8 Junsu (7 votes) - Okay, all the 2PM promotions and incredibly sexed up performances really boosted you. #12 with two votes last time to breaking the top ten? Good job, good job. Keep it up!
#7 Joon (8 votes) - WHAT. THE. FUCK. YOU DROPPED YOUR NUMBER OF VOTES FOR THIS LUSCIOUS MAN WITH THAT COCKY ASS GRIN. I mean, he's still #7, but he received two less votes. Blasphemy. Absolute and complete K-Pop blasphemy.
#6 Changsung (9 votes) - I know it's weird how Beastly Maknae received ten votes last time and was #7, but now he's only had nine votes and is at #6. But he's totally deserving of this. Yes, he most definitely is.
TKPA
There have been some MAJOR changes in the past three months. So much that I have to tell you what these men received last month in terms of rank and number of votes received. You're probably going to hate yourself for not remembering one of them. And you should hate yourself.
How dare you forget about them!
These boys didn't even make the top ten. Shame, shame, shame.
Example: Idol name - November rank / November votes
The Ones Who Received One, Lonely Vote (Rank #14):
Seungri - #10 / 4 (What the hell?!)
Sungmin - #12 / 2
Jonghyun - #11 / 3
Soohyun - #13 / 1
Du Jun - #12 / 2
Dongwoon - #12 / 2
Key - #13 / 1
Jinwoon - #13 / 1
U-Know - #11 / 3
Yesung - #11 / 3
Zhou Mi - #13 / 1
Jokwon - Newbie
Jay-Kim - Newbie
Tablo - Newbie
The Ones Who Received Two Votes (Rank #13):
Minwoo - Newbie
Heechul - #10 / 4
Mir - Newbie
Max - #12 / 2
Han Geng - #11 / 3
Onew - Newbie
Leeteuk - #10 / 4
Eunhyuk - #12 / 2
Kyuhyun - #9 / 5 (I will pimp you out harder, Kyu!)
Micky - #13 / 1
Xiah - #12 / 2
The Ones Who Received Three Votes (Rank #12):
Se7en - #12 / 2
SeungHo - #10 / 4
Minho - Newbie
The Ones Who Received Four Votes (Rank #11):
Junho - #10 / 4
Siwon - #12 / 2
G.O - #12 / 2
Eli - Newbie
Wooyoung - #12 / 2
Daesung - #8 / 6 (I think @cjcdae's threats have paid off)
Hero - #10 / 4
YongHwa - Newbie
Shocking. Totally shocking.
Your ovaries are cruel, cruel organs.
TKPA
These delicious men sadly, unfortunately, did not make the February edition of the Cervix Punchers. They received zero votes.
Seriously. Zero votes. What the hell is up with that?
I feel entirely responsible for this, as my perversion on your brains has been ridiculously absent.
I'm sorry, boys. I'll work harder to get you back on the list in May and back to making the vagus nerve go spastic.
AJ (Seriously, how could you not make the cut?!)
Lee Byung Hun
Kangin
Ryeowook
Kibum
Henry
Jun Hyung (You heartless bitches)
Hyun Seung
Yo Seob
J'Kyun
Lee Jun Ki
Hongki
Jang Geun Suk
Kim Bum
Choi Jongun
