Confessions of the K-Pop Addict: cervix punchers

Showing posts with label cervix punchers. Show all posts

5.18.2011

Cervix Punchers (With a New Twist!)

Yes, we didn't have this in February. Truthfully, I forgot all about it until February 26th, so I figured we could just skip it for the month and wait until May. Also, it was right when BIGBANG had their comeback, so I had a feeling that the votes would be predominantly for them, and though I cannot complain about that, I didn't think it would be 100% fair to the other male idols (like they actually read this thing).

Admit it ... there is just one male idol, above all others, that just does something to you. He makes your ovaries twitch and ache and makes your uterus long for a tenant for forty weeks. It doesn't matter what he does. A new or old performance, a TV appearance, or even just looking at a damn picture sends you into a complete melt-down state of wanting to enter motherhood.

You know exactly who I'm talking about.

This isn't necessarily a category, it's more like bragging rights. Only the top five will be posted on the right sidebar, like the holy list of men you want to have lots of unprotected sex with.

We have some new rules this time around, so pay attention!

1. No more than ~~six~~ eight idols can be voted for. If you list ten, only the first ~~six~~ eight will be counted. ~~Six~~ Eight is more than plenty! (I'm giving you eight this time around to make up for skipping February).

2. When you go to list your idol, state his stage name and group name. Because there's more than just one "Junsu" and sometimes I'm not totally 100% sure of what an idol's real name is, so this will make it easier for me, okay?

3. Only vote for an idol one time. Don't repeat an idol's name six times, because I'm only going to count them once.

4. They must be over the age of 18, so still no Taemin or DongHo or anyone else under the age of 18. I REPEAT DO NOT CAST A VOTE FOR ANYONE UNDER 18, EVEN IF YOU ARE UNDER 18. GOT IT?! If you choose to ignore this, your entire vote (meaning all the people you voted for) will not count. Don't be rude; follow the rules.

5. Don't count the votes ahead of time, please! I tried doing it a secret way before, but not enough people participated by just emailing their choices to me. If you count before, then you're taking the fun out of everything. Just be patient!

Ready for the twist?

Comment below with your choices; I'll be keeping track and tallying the scores. Then, I will take the Top Fifteen and post on the sidebar a poll where I encourage all of you vote for your favorite out of the men listed. I know that we all don't have one bias group and one bias member. I know we kind of whore our fan girl hearts out to multiple idols, and I think that by casting votes, but then narrowing it down to the Top Fifteen will remind you of someone you didn't vote for the first time around, and it will truly show the best of the best.

Let's see how this works, and if the general consensus is approving and it works, this will be the way we will carry out the Cervix Punchers from now on.

Comment below with your eight choices! Submissions will close May 31st, and then I will post the poll on the sidebar shortly after (which you'll then have one week to vote).

TKPA

11.22.2010

Cervix Punchers Fifth Edition: And the Winners Are ...

#5 Chansung with twenty-one votes.

Let's introduce the beastliest maknae of them all to the top five for the very first time! Please don't ever hide your abs or your happy trail from us. Be a good idol and give us what we want. In return, we'll give you what you want. Fair trade, everyone wins!

#4 Heechul with twenty-six votes.

I'm not going to lie, I'm still shocked as all hell. And he received three more votes this time around. He's one of those idols that suddenly appears out of nowhere and kind of leaves a total mindfuck into what he did recently that made him so relevant in your minds and other areas.

#3 Taeyang with forty-five votes.

Taeyang might have fallen from number two, but at least he can have those bragging rights amongst the idols that he's been in the top five for a year straight. Congratulations, bb! You just keep being you and I know you'll always have a home in the top five!

#2 G-Dragon with fifty votes.

YES. THAT MEANS THAT G-DRAGON HAS FINALLY LEFT HIS COVETED NUMBER THREE SPOT AND HAS MOVED UP ONE!!! It was a close race between GDYB, but again, congratulations to GD for being in the top five for a year straight and also taking the spotlight of number two onto himself.

#1 T.O.P with sixty votes.

SIXTY votes. This man will never leave the top five. Never ever.

Voting will be again in February! Thanks for participating!

TKPA

Cervix Punchers Fifth Edition: Numbers Six through Ten

#10 Jonghyun (15 votes) - So what if he has a girlfriend? Doesn't mean we have to stop looking, right? Stop touching, yes. Looking? FAIR GAME.

#10 Nichkhun (15 votes) - I pretty much agree with this ranking, except I really want to add a personal comment ... Would it really kill you to not do "fan talk" while I'm sleeping? Really devastating when you start tweeting at 4:45 in the friggin morning and my alarm goes off at 5:30. I know you're reading this, Khunnie. (Yeah, right).

#10 Yunho (15 votes) - I will admit, I was a little surprised by how many votes he did receive. Not because he isn't fine as hell (because he is), but only because he's barely received any votes in the past. A ranking I'm happy with, though.

#9 Junsu from 2PM (16 votes) - I don't think I am alone in requesting more shirtless pictures of this man. He might break the top five if he spams us with abs to help keep us warm during the winter (or get us hotter in the summer, whichever hemisphere you're in).

#9 Jaejoong (16 votes) - I am contributing this to the fact that most of you living in the United States saw this gorgeous human being up close and in person recently. Because again, he's never received this many votes before. First time for everything!

#9 Seungri (16 votes) - So proud of him, yes I am! I mean, people actually voted for him! More than two or three times! AND HE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO TAKE HIS SHIRT OFF. Wait ... we might want to rethink this.

#8 Jun Hyung (17 votes) - He's climbing, he's climbing! Nice to know that whatever ridiculously ugly thing he has on, we still find him desirable. That's very hard to accomplish.

#8 Se7en (17 votes) - Absolutely gorgeous. Him and those lips. Mmm.

#8 Rain (17 votes) - He needs to have another movie like Ninja Assassin. Or more choreography like "Hip Song." That will surely catapult him a little higher.

#7 Kyuhyun (18 votes) - My all-time favorite maknae is killing it. Maybe in February he will break the top five? Stranger things have happened.

#7 Daesung (18 votes) - Basically, seventeen of you are running the risk of losing your life. It was the picture with him and the Phantom of the Opera mask, wasn't it? Just don't tell CJ you voted for him if she asks. She's already asking for names (those of you who were anonymous, smart move).

#6 Onew (20 votes) - Every once in a while, an idol gets so many votes just out of nowhere. Where were all of you for the past year? What, SHINee comes back and you suddenly remember Onew? Tsk, tsk, tsk. (Kiddingggg!)

#6 Joon (20 votes) - HE HAS FALLEN. Oh, Joon. Let's fix this! GET A TWITTER ACCOUNT. But not until January, then spam the hell out of us with cutesy and sexy pictures of you in the bathroom mirror.

Are you calculating who's in the top five?

Cervix Punchers Fifth Edition: Almost, But Not Quite

#15 Han Geng (7 votes) - It doesn't matter that he's in China doing God knows what. We still love that sexy man and worship him as if he'd never left.

#15 Leeteuk (7 votes) - You either get the attraction with him or you don't. If you don't, I'm pretty sure the people who voted for him won't mind. We can be greedy.

#15 Eli (7 votes) - The adorkable Eli. I want to see this man get a little higher next time around!

#15 Soohyun (7 votes) - So many votes from you have made me pay some extra special attention to him. Expect to see more of him on the blog!

#14 Taekyeon (9 votes) - Oh, sweetie. You've fallen from your glory days of ranking in the top five. Last November, you were #4. In February, you were #2. Now you're completely out of the top ten? How about some more shirtless action and screaming during performances to boost you back up a bit. Or you could just reply to a nice fan every once in a while ... mhm.

#14 AJ (9 votes) - You've kind of won me over a little more than you previously did by being the new-geek-turned-hottie in your latest MV. I wholeheartedly approve.

#14 DongWoon (9 votes) - I wish I could say you were the sexiest maknae on the list, but dude ... you really got your ass kicked in the ranking maknae battle. However, if you keep up those dirty blonde locks of yours, you'll rank higher on my personal poll, which means more exploitation on the blog. Win-win for everyone!

#14 Siwon (9 votes) - I'm curious as to how many of you have fantasized about him in a priest get-up and a steamy confessional booth location.

#13 Junsu from JYJ (10 votes) - I guess ten of you really, really liked his halter top/apron. I joke.

#13 Junho (10 votes) - I could make some cracks about how your ass is bigger than a full moon or that if you put on a wig you could be Kim Kardashian's from-the-back body double ... but it's all been done before.

#13 Jay Park (10 votes) - Last night on Twitter, Jay said some of us were freaky. I think a really dirty post is in the works, in which all of you need to leave a highly dirty comment. (PS -- Jay, if you're reading this, can you tweet some pics of your abs to get back into the top five? Thanks).

#12 Minho (12 votes) - Sexy, sexy, sexy. I love the shorter hair. I love the deep voice. I love the angry-sexy look he always has. I will so be your sugar mama.

#11 SeungHo (14 votes) - YOU. WERE. ROBBED. You should have been higher. That is all.

Six through ten, coming up next!

Cervix Punchers Fifth Edition: The Ones Who Didn't Make It

In August, this feature beat out its own record with 116 comments and 526 votes. I'm really happy to say that the record has been broken yet again with 133 comments and 683 votes! Awesome! This time around things were very interesting, to say the least.

The Ones Who Received One, Lonely Vote:

Kevin (ZE:A)
Chance
Kim Jong Kook
Hwanhee
Zin Tae Hwa
Jokwon
Minhwan
Ryeowook
Yejun
Kim Bum
Hongki
Psy
C.A.P.
Zhou Mi
Jungmin
Drama
Jong Hyun (CN Blue)
Noori
Kwanghaeng
Hyun Seung
Yoo Ah In
Karam
Kiseop
Lee Min Ho

The Ones Who Received Two Votes:

LeeU
Inati
Kibum (U-KISS)
Kibum (Super Junior)
Lee Seung Gi
Kevin (U-KISS)
Mika
Jang Geun Suk
Changmin (2AM)
Henry

The Ones Who Received Three Votes:

Sungmin
Teddy
Young Sky
No Min Woo
G.O
Seulong
Jinon
Xander

The Ones Who Received Four Votes:

YongHwa
Yo Seob
Doo Joon

The Ones Who Received Five Votes:

Changmin (DBSK)
Eunhyuk

The Ones Who Received Six Votes:

Kan
Thunder
Wooyoung
Mir
Kim Hyun Joong
Yoochun
Donghae

11.07.2010

Cervix Punchers -- Fifth Edition!

A year ago, we did this for the first time. Amazing how much time flies, right?

Admit it ... there is just one male idol, above all others, that just does something to you. He makes your ovaries twitch and ache and makes your uterus long for a tenant for forty weeks. It doesn't matter what he does. A new or old performance, a TV appearance, or even just looking at a damn picture sends you into a complete melt-down state of wanting to enter motherhood.

You know exactly who I'm talking about.

This isn't necessarily a category, it's more like bragging rights. Only the top five will be posted on the right sidebar, like the holy list of men you want to have lots of unprotected sex with.

We have some new rules this time around, so pay attention!

1. No more than six idols can be voted for. If you list ten, only the first six will be counted. Six is more than plenty!
2. When you go to list your idol, state his stage name and group name. Because there's more than just one "Junsu" and sometimes I'm not totally 100% sure of what an idol's real name is, so this will make it easier for me, okay?
3. Only vote for an idol one time. Don't repeat an idol's name six times, because I'm only going to count them once.
4. They must be over the age of 18, so still no Taemin or DongHo or anyone else under the age of 18.
5. Don't count the votes ahead of time, please! I tried doing it a secret way before, but not enough people participated by just emailing their choices to me. If you count before, then you're taking the fun out of everything. Just be patient!

Either comment below or email me (if you choose). I'll be keeping track and tallying the scores and then I'll announce the top five. Every few months or so we'll vote again to update the Cervix Punchers and see if your hearts (or ovaries) have found new loves (or baby daddies).

Voting ends November 21st!

TKPA

8.29.2010

Cervix Punchers August Edition: And the Winners Are ...

#5 Heechul with twenty-three votes.

Yes, Kim Heechul is in the top five. I'm BEYOND speechless right now. When I was counting the votes, I couldn't believe it. My thoughts were something like, "Heechul. Heechul. Heechul. Heechul. What the hell? Heechul. Heechul. Heechul. Heechul. Heechul. Heechul. SERIOUSLY WHAT THE HELL?!"

I'm just ... wow. I never thought he would be in the top five. Wow.

#4 Joon with twenty-nine votes.

Same exact number he was last time around, I expected this from Joon. He's one of those that actually wants to be on this list and will do whatever it takes to make sure he's in the top five. And when I say "do whatever it takes" I mean by just existing.

#3 G-Dragon with thirty-three votes.

You have to give it to the man ... there's just something about him that drives majority of us crazy. And I think he deserves an award because this is the fourth time he has held onto the number three spot. He's always slightly behind his best friend, so maybe next time around he'll advance just one more spot. Maybe.

#2 Taeyang with thirty-seven votes.

We've been blessed with a Tae-Tae overdose lately, but that by itself is not why this glorious man received this many votes. Hell, he could be on a hiatus and he would still be in the top five. Sadly, he's back to his number two spot, having lived at number one for three months.

Which means ...

#1 T.O.P with forty-five votes.

All is right with the world, as T.O.P is once again the ultimate Cervix Puncher. As he should be. He is, afterall, the Official Pimp T.O.P.

Thanks for voting! We won't vote again until NOVEMBER!

TKPA

Cervix Punchers: Numbers Six Through Ten

#10 Junhyung (15 votes) - Finally this man is getting the recognition he deserves! Keep at it, bb! You might be in the top five come November!

#9 Rain (16 votes) - I watch that part of "Hip Song" over and over and over and over and over and over. You know exactly what part I'm talking about. Every time I watch Ninja Assassin, my Rain love grows and grows. I'm glad to see it's the same for you all too!

#8 Minho (19 votes) - I'm so glad you're no longer jailbait. Your future looks very bright in the Cervix Punchers.

#8 SeungHo (19 votes) - I seriously am considering getting like fifty tubes of Starburst Lip Smackers and sending them to this man. He needs to keep those babies juicy!

#7 Chansung (20 votes) - Maknae you're making me very, very proud. Keep up the sexy!

#7 Jonghyun (20 votes) - Due to a computer error, he was first listed at #14 ... but thanks to people who stalked the comments and counted everything themselves, he was placed in his rightful spot.

#6 Se7en (22 votes) - It makes me so happy that he is back, because now I will have more relevant excuses to write about him and drool over him and secretly pretend he's single.

And the top five are ...............

Coming up!

TKPA

Cervix Punchers August Edition: Almost, But Not Quite

#15 U-Know (7 votes) - Yeah, I'd keep the faith in him too.

#14 Hangeng (8 votes) - Okay so he might not be a part of Super Junior anymore, but his sex appeal is still infiltrating our minds.

#14 Siwon (8 votes) - Is it the eyebrows or the abs that get you all hot and bothered? Or do you just want to corrupt the good Christian boy?
#14 AJ (8 votes) - Glad to see that your recent scandal didn't make fan girls put you in a wooden boat and push you out to sea.

#13 Onew (9 votes) - This is just me talking, but every time I think of Onew I think of Kentucky Fried Chicken. Don't see the sex some of you see, but hey, to each his own!

#13 Kyuhyun (9 votes) - Ohhhh, this I totally understand.

#13 Hero (9 votes) - Pretty but with a masculine edge ... you can't ask for much better.

#12 Taecyeon (11 votes) - Oh, honey ... you've been slipping majorly in this competition. May I suggest keeping your mouth shut and just standing there shirtless? The rabid, angry fan girls who are disliking you as of late will most likely forgive you. Simply because they'll be left speechless.

#12 Donghae (11 votes) - Lately I've been wanting to pinch his cheeks and squeeze him, because he's so damn adorable. Then, you know, he does something sexy and the adorable factor flies out the window.

#11 Nichkhun (13 votes) - Oh, how I love this man and his daily song tweets. Even the ones where he tweets a "naughty" song then tries to act all coy and innocent about it. WE KNOW YOU'RE NOT.

Top ten coming your way!!

TKPA

Cervix Punchers August Edition: The Ones Who Didn't Make It

Let me say to begin with that this is the most votes this feature has ever received! 116 comments and 526 votes cast for idols. It was good seeing a lot of new names on here, and there are even a few surprising ones. Seriously, I'm still shocked at the outcome.

The Ones Who Received One, Lonely Vote:

Kangin
Yejun
Hongki
Ajoo
Kibum (U-Kiss)
Chundoong
Lee Min Ho
Yoochun
Jinwoon
Jokwon
Seulong
Chance
Lee Seung Gi

The Ones Who Received Two Votes:

LeeU
Henry
Xiah
Hyun Seung
Xander
Yo Seob
Wooyoung
G.O
Mika
Kim Bum
Kiseop

The Ones Who Received Three Votes:

Jinon
Max
YongHwa
Soohyun
Eli
Young Sky
Peter

The Ones Who Received Four Votes:

Eunhyuk
Leeteuk
Yesung
Thunder
Daesung
Dongwoon

The Ones Who Received Five Votes:

Ryeowook
Kan
Teddy
Junsu
Jay
Du Jun
Junho

The Ones Who Received Six Votes:

Sungmin
Seungri
Mir
Zhou Mi
Key

Stay tuned for the top fifteen!

TKPA

8.14.2010

The Cervix Punchers -- August Edition

6.06.2010

Cervix Punchers - May

All I can say is ... what the ...?

#5 - Taekyeon - Poor babe fell one position. Well, it's the third time he's graced us with his presence, so don't feel too bad for him!

#4 - Joon - It is about damn time he made his way up here!

#3 - G-Dragon - Not in the least bit surprising!

#2 - T.O.P - Yes, you read that correctly. T.O.P is number two. HE IS NUMBER TWO.

#1 - Taeyang - Am I a little bitter and shocked that Tae-Tae grabbed the crown? Well, just a bit, yes. But I couldn't think of anyone else more deserving than him to be number one in our hearts and ovaries.

5.13.2010

The Cervix Punchers -- May Edition

Admit it ... there is just one male idol, above all others, that just does something to you. He makes your ovaries twitch and ache and makes your uterus long for a tenant for forty weeks. It doesn't matter what he does. A new or old performance, a TV appearance, or even just looking at a damn picture sends you into a complete melt-down state of wanting to enter motherhood.

You know exactly who I'm talking about.

This isn't necessarily a category, it's more like bragging rights. Only the top five will be posted on the right sidebar, like the holy list of men you want to have lots of unprotected sex with.

It can be any idol, from any group so long as he's over the legal age, because I don't want to start promoting teen parenting. I'm already going to K-Pop hell by corrupting your minds, I don't want to add another thing to the list. You can vote for more than one guy, because you know that I have an incredibly difficult time choosing between Master GD and Sex God. I don't expect you to choose between two (or three) luscious idols; I sure as hell can't. Note: It can be as many as you want, but try to keep it under ... oh, let's say six men, okay?

We're going to do something different this time around, so as not to spoil anything. YOU MUST EMAIL ME YOUR CHOICES!! In an email to tkpa@live.com, the subject line should read "Cervix Punchers" and then your picks in the body of the email. PLEASE USE THAT EMAIL ADDRESS! I won't count it if you email it to any other address!! Also, I'm disabling the comments to ensure that you actually email me!

I'll be keeping track and tallying the scores and then I'll announce the top five. Every few months or so we'll vote again to update the Cervix Punchers and see if your hearts (or ovaries) have found new loves (or baby daddies).

Voting ends May 27th!

So, since the number of votes has been pretty damn pathetic, I have to open up the option of tweeting your choices to me rather than strictly using email (if your account is locked and I am not following you, then I will not see it. That means you must email me if you wish to participate). I don't know why some of you feel uncomfortable with emailing me.

I wanted to do the email-only vote this time so as not to spoil anything. I know how easy and tempting it is to count up the votes when you see them in the comment section. This way it's more of a surprise for you all. So, in August, we will return to the usual way of doing things.

TKPA

2.27.2010

And the Winners Are ...

#5 Jaebeom, with a total of twelve votes.

Jumping from #7 to #5 isn't bad. It's amazing how your lust and obsession for this man still hasn't faded. But I know you've been watching countless clips of Eight Pack Abs Jay grinding and I know whenever you listen to "All Night Long," you're thinking of him and how that song was made for him to perform to. Who knows? Maybe he does dance to it. In his bedroom. In front of his mirror. In his underwear.

#4 Taeyang, with a total of fourteen votes.

In November, the King of Foreplay was #2 with twenty-four votes. True, it was right after "Where U At" and "Wedding Dress," where he was just ovary-exploding-sexy ... but still, the amount of wavering love your cervix has shown this King is sad. It's okay, Tae-Tae. I still love you.

#3 G-Dragon, with a total of fifteen votes.

#3 last time, #3 this time. We don't know what the hell it is about this guy, but our ovaries know what's up. That's all that matters.

#2 Taekyeon, with a total of twenty votes.

In November, he was #4. I blame the ripping-of-the-shirt-and-revealing-abs performance(s), the busting through ice all angry-sexy, the giant sex scream, and of course him saying, "Shhhh." You win, Sexy Beast Taek. YOU WIN.
#1 T.O.P, with a total of twenty-seven votes.

You knew it, I knew it. I swear it will be a cold day in K-Pop Hell when this man is not number #1.

Voting will come back in May! Thanks for voting, and if you didn't ... well, you suck!

TKPA

2.25.2010

Cervix Punchers: Almost, But Not Quite (February)

I really need to work harder to pervert your minds. This shit is getting ridiculous.

#10 Donghae (5 votes) - What. The. Fuck. In November, you were our beloved Fifth Cervix Puncher. You had twelve votes. And now you have five. I'm so sorry, Hae baby. I want to cry knowing that you are going to stalk this blog to see if your rank increased any, only to find that you have fallen. Don't worry, boo. These bitches won't know what hit them come May.

#10 Nichkhun (5 votes) - Okay, I'm impressed a bit, considering you only had two votes last time around and were #12. I thought you should have received more last time too. Glad some people came to their senses.

#9 Rain (6 votes) - I think the Ninja Assassin hype died down a bit, and Rain's glorious sweaty abs have not been thrusted at us on a daily basis. Yes, I'm sure that's it. Considering you were #6 last time with eleven votes. (Sidenote: Ninja Assassin DVD is coming out in mid-March!)

#8 Junsu (7 votes) - Okay, all the 2PM promotions and incredibly sexed up performances really boosted you. #12 with two votes last time to breaking the top ten? Good job, good job. Keep it up!

#7 Joon (8 votes) - WHAT. THE. FUCK. YOU DROPPED YOUR NUMBER OF VOTES FOR THIS LUSCIOUS MAN WITH THAT COCKY ASS GRIN. I mean, he's still #7, but he received two less votes. Blasphemy. Absolute and complete K-Pop blasphemy.

#6 Changsung (9 votes) - I know it's weird how Beastly Maknae received ten votes last time and was #7, but now he's only had nine votes and is at #6. But he's totally deserving of this. Yes, he most definitely is.

TKPA

Cervix Punchers: The Ones Who Didn't Make It (February)

There have been some MAJOR changes in the past three months. So much that I have to tell you what these men received last month in terms of rank and number of votes received. You're probably going to hate yourself for not remembering one of them. And you should hate yourself.

How dare you forget about them!

These boys didn't even make the top ten. Shame, shame, shame.

Example: Idol name - November rank / November votes

The Ones Who Received One, Lonely Vote (Rank #14):

Seungri - #10 / 4 (What the hell?!)
Sungmin - #12 / 2
Jonghyun - #11 / 3
Soohyun - #13 / 1
Du Jun - #12 / 2
Dongwoon - #12 / 2
Key - #13 / 1
Jinwoon - #13 / 1
U-Know - #11 / 3
Yesung - #11 / 3
Zhou Mi - #13 / 1
Jokwon - Newbie
Jay-Kim - Newbie
Tablo - Newbie

The Ones Who Received Two Votes (Rank #13):

Minwoo - Newbie
Heechul - #10 / 4
Mir - Newbie
Max - #12 / 2
Han Geng - #11 / 3
Onew - Newbie
Leeteuk - #10 / 4
Eunhyuk - #12 / 2
Kyuhyun - #9 / 5 (I will pimp you out harder, Kyu!)
Micky - #13 / 1
Xiah - #12 / 2

The Ones Who Received Three Votes (Rank #12):

Se7en - #12 / 2
SeungHo - #10 / 4
Minho - Newbie

The Ones Who Received Four Votes (Rank #11):

Junho - #10 / 4
Siwon - #12 / 2
G.O - #12 / 2
Eli - Newbie
Wooyoung - #12 / 2
Daesung - #8 / 6 (I think @cjcdae's threats have paid off)
Hero - #10 / 4
YongHwa - Newbie

Shocking. Totally shocking.

Your ovaries are cruel, cruel organs.

TKPA

The Dearly Departed

These delicious men sadly, unfortunately, did not make the February edition of the Cervix Punchers. They received zero votes.

Seriously. Zero votes. What the hell is up with that?

I feel entirely responsible for this, as my perversion on your brains has been ridiculously absent.

I'm sorry, boys. I'll work harder to get you back on the list in May and back to making the vagus nerve go spastic.

AJ (Seriously, how could you not make the cut?!)
Lee Byung Hun
Kangin
Ryeowook
Kibum
Henry
Jun Hyung (You heartless bitches)
Hyun Seung
Yo Seob
J'Kyun
Lee Jun Ki
Hongki
Jang Geun Suk
Kim Bum
Choi Jongun

2.08.2010

The Cervix Punchers -- February Edition

It's baaaaack! (And soon enough, so will yours truly!)

Admit it ... there is just one male idol, above all others, that just does something to you. He makes your ovaries twitch and ache and makes your uterus long for a tenant for forty weeks. It doesn't matter what he does. A new or old performance, a TV appearance, or even just looking at a damn picture sends you into a complete melt-down state of wanting to enter motherhood.

You know exactly who I'm talking about.

This isn't necessarily a category, it's more like bragging rights. Only the top five will be posted on the right sidebar, like the holy list of men you want to have lots of unprotected sex with.

It can be any idol, from any group so long as he's over the legal age, because I don't want to start promoting teen parenting. I'm already going to K-Pop hell by corrupting your minds, I don't want to add another thing to the list. You can vote for more than one guy, because you know that I have an incredibly difficult time choosing between Master GD and Sex God. I don't expect you to choose between two (or three) luscious idols; I sure as hell can't. Note: It can be as many as you want, but try to keep it under ... oh, let's say six men, okay?

You can either: comment, email, or tweet me your choices. I'll be keeping track and tallying the scores and then I'll announce the top five. Every few months or so we'll vote again to update the Cervix Punchers and see if your hearts (or ovaries) have found new loves (or baby daddies). Let's close this when one idol reaches fifty votes, okay?

Back in November, we held this little poll. Not a shocker that Sex God came out on top (hah), followed closely by King of Foreplay, Master GD, Sexy Beast Taek, and really shocking was Arms of Sex.

Get to it!

TKPA

11.19.2009

And the Winners Are ...

#5 Donghae, with a total of twelve votes.

I was actually a little surprised at this, because I don't obsess over the sex appeal that surrounds his beautiful existance on this planet on a regular basis. Regardless, I am something hardcore in love with this man and it's not surprising that some of you felt the exact same way.

#4 Taekyeon, with a total of sixteen votes.

If Taek didn't make this list, I'd be extremely upset with you all and I would post an incredibly dirty, dirty post about him and then disable comments so none of you could say how much you wanted him. I don't think I'd be able to handle it if you guys did that. I just might have closed down the blog. Needless to say I'm glad you all are smart people.

#3 G-Dragon, with a total of twenty-three votes.

This is not surprising. I don't even feel like I need to talk about this. There was no doubt in my mind he'd be in the top five.

#2 Taeyang, with a total of twenty-four votes.

He just barely claimed the number two position for himself, but those Baegasms seem to have taken over your minds and uteruses.

#1 T.O.P, with a total of thirty-four votes.

NOT. A. SURPRISE. I knew he'd come out on top.

TKPA

About TKPA

This blog was started in September 2009 by a [then] twenty-one-year-old American, who is also Caucasian and does not speak one word of Korean. Really, not one word. Well, besides "hello," "thank you," and "I love you," (the three most important phrases a girl needs to know).

Yes, it seems odd that a white girl from the States would find a niche in this musical genre, and not have the slightest clue what they’re saying aside from the random English incorporated into lyrics … but once you enter the world of K-Pop and the fandom, it's actually the most normal thing about K-Pop.

6.03.2011

And the Results Are In!

5.18.2011

Cervix Punchers (With a New Twist!)

11.22.2010

Cervix Punchers Fifth Edition: And the Winners Are ...

Cervix Punchers Fifth Edition: Numbers Six through Ten

Cervix Punchers Fifth Edition: Almost, But Not Quite

Cervix Punchers Fifth Edition: The Ones Who Didn't Make It

11.07.2010

Cervix Punchers -- Fifth Edition!

8.29.2010

Cervix Punchers August Edition: And the Winners Are ...

Cervix Punchers: Numbers Six Through Ten

Cervix Punchers August Edition: Almost, But Not Quite

Cervix Punchers August Edition: The Ones Who Didn't Make It

8.14.2010

The Cervix Punchers -- August Edition

6.06.2010

Cervix Punchers - May

5.13.2010

The Cervix Punchers -- May Edition

2.27.2010

And the Winners Are ...

2.25.2010

Cervix Punchers: Almost, But Not Quite (February)

Cervix Punchers: The Ones Who Didn't Make It (February)

The Dearly Departed

2.08.2010

The Cervix Punchers -- February Edition

11.19.2009

And the Winners Are ...

Who is the Ultimate Cervix Puncher?
	T.O.P
	G-Dragon
	Kyuhyun
	Heechul
	Taeyang
	Daesung
	Onew
	Joon
	Seungri
	Minho
	Seungho
	Key
	Taecyeon
	Jaejoong
	Donghae
	Siwon
	Se7en
	Jonghyun
	Junhyung

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