What in the ...? HAHAHA!

I seriously thought Jun Hyung was wearing a neckbrace at first. I had to rewind and pause the video because I knew he hadn't injured himself, so I thought it was the ultimate fashion fail. Because when I think of fashion fails in the K-Pop industry, you have to admit, BEAST is like in the top ten, maybe even the top five on some of your lists.

But at least it's just a rain coat with fur lining, the collar popped, and brown leather straps holding it up for support.

HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Did you notice how awkward he was moving throughout the whole teaser? So hilarious.

Click here to watch it!

TKPA

Camera Tricks

With the upcoming album release from F.Cuz (in a week, if you were wondering), we've been blessed with new photos of the guys to drool over and stare at.

They're all looking gorgeous as always (and they're all brunette, which I love), but I am a little disappointed in Kan's concept photo. It has nothing to do with him, but it has everything to do with the photographer or whoever posed him.

Do you see what looks like it's missing?

It looks like he has no belly button. And I know it's because the way his hips are placed and the odd angle his torso is turned. Still. It looks weird. It also makes him seem really petite and tiny. I'm not liking how they made him position his body like that. His hips face one way, his shoulders face another.

Just bizarre. And a little distracting.

Or maybe Kan doesn't have a belly button. Maybe he was literally put on Earth by the K-Pop Gods in order to test our faith in fangirlism.

PS -- Kan's new nickname is Kan XY because he has no belly button, just like the show Kyle XY.

TKPA

Finally...

I titled this post "Finally" for two reasons.

1. It's taken me forever to write a BEAST post. (I apologize).
2. Finally I have something amazing and awesome to say about each and every single one of them. The evil cow stylists have lost their touch.

My gorgeous Jun Hyung, you look as amazing as always and I'm glad that this time around, there aren't any feathers sticking out of your hair.

You're perfect. Don't change one damn thing on that brunette head of yours.

AJ you look like a little Catholic school boy to me. So sweet and innocent.

But I know Catholic school boys aren't all that innocent, so your angelic front only works on me for a short amount of time. All that matters is that you trick other people into thinking you're an angel on Earth and let me see your dark side.

Truthfully, Du Jun, you look exactly the same to me as you did when you first debuted.

Just a little more styling product this time around. You're flawless and you've learned if it isn't broke, don't fix it. You don't need to change a damn thing.

Yo Seob is still so cute to me.

Whenever I see him, this comes to mind. You will never lose your cute factor in my eyes.

FINALLY, finally! Hyun Seung does not have some atrocious ensemble on or has his hair all fucked up.

Do you know how happy this makes me? I sincerely hope THIS is a permanent look for him, meaning it's just him. No freaky looking make-up, no layered hair that looks more like a five-year-old cut it, no weird hair colors. Just Hyun Seung. Plain and simple. Absolutely perfect.

AND WHOEVER DECIDED TO STYLE DONGWOON'S HAIR LIKE THIS:

IS A FREAKING GENIUS AND I LOVE THEM FOR IT. HOLY HELL DOES THIS BOY LOOK A-MAY-ZING WITH THIS COLOR AND THIS STYLE. KEEP IT. KEEP IT. KEEP IT. KEEP IT.

Pretty much, whoever styled BEAST this time around, needs to be their permanent stylists, because they are perfection.

TKPA

U-Kiss Can Tell Me to Shut Up and I'll Obey

Where have I been? Well, school and lots of hours at work. That's probably why I missed the release of "Shut Up" a month ago. (I'm sorry, I suck, I know!). But now I'm here, and now it's time to give these men the proper little spazz fest they should have received last month.

I'm going to start this with a simple angry thought to the K-Pop Gods, for having the deepest voice in the group, the voice that stands out the most, the voice that sounds so sexy and makes me get little goose bumps all over ... belong to a sixteen-year-old.

I mean, really? How is that even remotely fair? A woman over the legal age limit cannot possibly enjoy it as much as she ought to. And to top it all off, you make Dongho sound so angry and you make him look so hot while he's giving that little sixteen-year-old angry face to the camera. Am I being punished for not blogging enough?

Moving on, U-Kiss has pretty much everything that makes a phenomenal K-Pop video.

You have suits:

And you have half-naked men (excluding Jailbait and Xander) in a room together:

And you even have Xander looking like he's absolutely disgusted in the choice for the female model:

And you also have how hot and just ... DAMN ... Eli is (um, Skankoid, remove the hand. Thanks):

And of course, no K-Pop video would be complete without a WTF fashion choice. I almost didn't see it, truthfully. It took me about three times watching the video to find one, and I was beginning to believe that I have finally come across one video that everything they are wearing looks amazing and there's nothing bizarre that would make me take up a tiny section in a post ranting about it. However, an evil cow must have snuck it in, and they did a clever job by shoving him in the back so we wouldn't notice.

But what the hell is this ...

... and when can I burn it?

TKPA

Cervix Punchers -- Fifth Edition!

A year ago, we did this for the first time. Amazing how much time flies, right?

Admit it ... there is just one male idol, above all others, that just does something to you. He makes your ovaries twitch and ache and makes your uterus long for a tenant for forty weeks. It doesn't matter what he does. A new or old performance, a TV appearance, or even just looking at a damn picture sends you into a complete melt-down state of wanting to enter motherhood.

You know exactly who I'm talking about.

This isn't necessarily a category, it's more like bragging rights. Only the top five will be posted on the right sidebar, like the holy list of men you want to have lots of unprotected sex with.

We have some new rules this time around, so pay attention!

1. No more than six idols can be voted for. If you list ten, only the first six will be counted. Six is more than plenty!
2. When you go to list your idol, state his stage name and group name. Because there's more than just one "Junsu" and sometimes I'm not totally 100% sure of what an idol's real name is, so this will make it easier for me, okay?
3. Only vote for an idol one time. Don't repeat an idol's name six times, because I'm only going to count them once.
4. They must be over the age of 18, so still no Taemin or DongHo or anyone else under the age of 18.
5. Don't count the votes ahead of time, please! I tried doing it a secret way before, but not enough people participated by just emailing their choices to me. If you count before, then you're taking the fun out of everything. Just be patient!

Either comment below or email me (if you choose). I'll be keeping track and tallying the scores and then I'll announce the top five. Every few months or so we'll vote again to update the Cervix Punchers and see if your hearts (or ovaries) have found new loves (or baby daddies).

Voting ends November 21st!

TKPA