BEAST: Kimchi v. Sushi

BEAST's new MV for their Japanese version of "Bad Girl" was released the other day, and judging by some comments I pulled from a few different uploaded versions, I don't feel left out in my thinking that this version fell short from the original, Korean version.

Like fell off the same tree and rolled down a hill and off a cliff and into the bottom of a shadowy, scary gorge where it splattered all over the rocks. Okay that was harsh. It came to a more dramatic halt at the cliff's edge, but it still is no where near the tree.

It isn't horrible, I actually really like some elements from it that I wished they could have thought of when they debuted. It's just different. And naturally, the only way to settle such  a dispute as to which video is more awesome is to break it down and take a vote!

STYLE

It is no secret that I hate what BEAST's stylists do to them, and it seems that Hyun Seung gets the most of the unfair cray cray style. When I find something that I do like on them, it's a rare occasion and maybe even a cause for a big ass celebration party. I really loved their style in the Japanese version, and despised it in the Korean version.

However, Dongwoon's hair situation needs to be dealt with ASAP, because it just isn't working for me. Comb it differently or whatever you have to do, as long as it doesn't make you look like Justin Bieber, okay?

In my book, Japan wins. Simply because they look like grown men versus another cutesy boyband designed to be adored by adolescent girls. They catered to their legal lady fans on this one.

CHARISMA

HANDS DOWN KOREA.

There is no freaking question about it. They look exhausted, depressed even. I really don't understand where their smiles went. Even Hyun Seung ... the most smiley person in the group looks like you kicked his whole litter of puppies and knocked his ice-cream cone out of his hand. AJ isn't nearly as into the video the second time around as he is the first.

They all look like they just don't care. And that's really unfortunate. If they came into their Japanese debut with the energy that made us all--internationally--fall in love with them, everything would be wonderful. But if I was a Japanese fan and saw the drastic difference between the two versions and the lack of enthusiasm, I would be really upset.

Yes, I know they're tired and overworked, but this is still their job. Is it fair to them? Absolutely not. But plenty of other idols are just as equally overworked and exhausted, and they put on that front and wear it well for the public, for their fans. 

CHOREOGRAPHY

Again, hands down Korea. A lot of this gets factored into the lack of charisma in the Japanese version, but I honestly felt like screaming at my computer screen for them to stop standing there and MOVE, DAMN IT!

Even Doo Joon, my sweet, sweet DJ ... if you watch him at 1:15, he's exhaling so hard that it comes across as exasperation, like this is pointless and stupid and there are a million other things they as a group have to accomplish and do.

During the chorus, there wasn't much effort put into the choreography that everything seems slow and drawn out and boring. Could the director have given all of them two Red Bulls to down after seeing the first take was not up to BEAST standard or something? It's as if they forgot their choreography to this song--their debut song, something that should always be executed flawlessly because they worked so long and so hard on it--and they didn't have time to practice before shooting so it was all done from vague memory.

I just didn't feel their passion from this video, and I'm not saying it's terrible. I was just spoiled with the original so I kind of want the NEW version to surpass it and leave my mind blown. My mind was blown, but not in the wow-that-was-so-amazing! way I wanted it to be.

First, watch the Korean version below:

Now watch the Japanese version:

And leave a comment below telling me what you liked/disliked about it!

TKPA

Finally...

I titled this post "Finally" for two reasons.

1. It's taken me forever to write a BEAST post. (I apologize).
2. Finally I have something amazing and awesome to say about each and every single one of them. The evil cow stylists have lost their touch.

My gorgeous Jun Hyung, you look as amazing as always and I'm glad that this time around, there aren't any feathers sticking out of your hair.

You're perfect. Don't change one damn thing on that brunette head of yours.

AJ you look like a little Catholic school boy to me. So sweet and innocent.

But I know Catholic school boys aren't all that innocent, so your angelic front only works on me for a short amount of time. All that matters is that you trick other people into thinking you're an angel on Earth and let me see your dark side.

Truthfully, Du Jun, you look exactly the same to me as you did when you first debuted.

Just a little more styling product this time around. You're flawless and you've learned if it isn't broke, don't fix it. You don't need to change a damn thing.

Yo Seob is still so cute to me.

Whenever I see him, this comes to mind. You will never lose your cute factor in my eyes.

FINALLY, finally! Hyun Seung does not have some atrocious ensemble on or has his hair all fucked up.

Do you know how happy this makes me? I sincerely hope THIS is a permanent look for him, meaning it's just him. No freaky looking make-up, no layered hair that looks more like a five-year-old cut it, no weird hair colors. Just Hyun Seung. Plain and simple. Absolutely perfect.

AND WHOEVER DECIDED TO STYLE DONGWOON'S HAIR LIKE THIS:

IS A FREAKING GENIUS AND I LOVE THEM FOR IT. HOLY HELL DOES THIS BOY LOOK A-MAY-ZING WITH THIS COLOR AND THIS STYLE. KEEP IT. KEEP IT. KEEP IT. KEEP IT.

Pretty much, whoever styled BEAST this time around, needs to be their permanent stylists, because they are perfection.

TKPA

Three Words: NEW. BEAST. MV.

You've got to be kidding me, stylists of BEAST. I mean, I spend how much time bitching that I hate you and that you're evil cows and that a one-eyed pigeon could do a better job at dressing them, and then you go and totally switch everything up on me and the rest of the K-Pop scene and make these boys fierce sexy?

Screw you, stylists! You're still evil. You know why?

Because you could have hit us full force with this style from the beginning, but you decided to make them all cutesy and wear hobo-clothes and make Jun Hyung sort of look like the Korean Flava Flave and give Hyun Seung that ... thing you call a haircut.

And even though I really want to be pissed at you right now, because damn it we've been through too much of this purely hate relationship to start changing things now, I really need to thank you.

Jun Hyung ... OH. MY. GOD.

 

When I first saw the teaser, I wanted to cry because all I saw was scalp. Shaved head. No, JH, no! Thankfully there's some hair up there, and my boy is looking and sounding delicious. True, he still looks like he's been spending way too much time shopping for clothes in the subway station after dark, but at least the hair is a vast improvement from that poofy, shaved-patterened, what-the-fuck-do-you-classify-that-as? hairstyle.

Oh, and also looking fabulous is Dong Woon. I love him. I really do. He's one of my favorite maknaes. I have about five others, but he's certainly in there somewhere. His voice kills me. KILLS ME.

 

But something I cannot and will not forgive these stylists for is making Yo Seob sexy. Seriously, what the fuck is that about? I've said before that I could never see myself lusting after he's adorable little self, that I just want to pick him up and hug him and spin him around and around in circles until I fall over dizzy as all hell.

 

BUT NOW I AM LUSTING AFTER HIM AND I FUCKING HATE YOU, YOU DAMN COW STYLISTS!

 

Improvements all around, but seriously ... back off Yo Seob. Don't touch him. Bring back the bleach blonde and make him look like an innocent fifteen-year-old school boy for the rest of his life.

(PS -- Has anyone noticed that he looks like the male, Asian version of the late Brittany Murphy? Or am I just really delusional?)

Check out the new MV for "Shock." And be sure to wipe your drool.

TKPA

BEAST's Stylists Must Hate Them

What is this? Seriously?

I mean, yes ... Jun Hyung is looking damn good and Dong Woon is looking hella hot, and Du Jun has a little brooding, sex gaze going on ...

BUT COME ON!

What the hell is DJ wearing? A poncho? Is that really and honestly supposed to be sexy? Is that supposed to make us drool and want a baby by him? I can't imagine ripping off a poncho with my teeth, though it might be relatively easier. The sex factor just isn't there.

FAIL.

And then there's this:

Again, Dong Woon is looking delicious. Perfect, don't change one thing about that maknae. And a little surprisingly ... Yo Seob looks ... well ... hot. Maybe it's the all black suit he has on, the ticked off facial expression. But the cutest rookie in K-Pop is looking damn hot. Awesome, don't touch one platinum blonde hair on that head. AJ is of course just pure sex.

AND LOOK AT HYUN SEUNG! His hair is amazing and not a total fail. The hat attached to his shoulder needs to go, but other than that boy is looking DAMN good and surely has spent countless hours between the sheets with those cow Korean stylists. DJ is looking massively better in this picture.

JH ... what the fuck did you do to your hair? Why would you sit in that chair, stare at yourself in the mirror, and keep your mouth shut when you saw what they were doing to you? How did you not cry?

BEAST still has a seriously long way to go, even though it's getting slightly better. Employ me, boys. You'd be radiating pure sex 24/7.

TKPA

Say Whaaat?

Du Jun: Really? I look like T.O.P? So ... does that mean I'm smolder-sexy too?

Dong Woon: Yeah, I may be a maknae but have you heard my voice? That's not maknae material.

Yo Seob: Don't tell DJ, but I stuck a rubber snake in his bed. He's going to freak!

AJ: Why are you making me hunch over? I'm already shorter than everyone else.

Hyun Seung: All right ... who pissed off the stylists?! Seriously, we look ridiculous.

Jun Hyung: What the fuck is up with your hair, bro?

TKPA

Yo Seob, I Just Want to Bear Hug You

And never, ever let you go.

You're too freaking adorable for your own damn good. Yes, in the above picture you look ... almost ... sexy. That's a nice little change from the adolescent, happy-go-lucky, trouble-maker vibe you just ooze during your stage presence. I really just want to hug you and laugh and crack jokes. Who cares if we more than likely will have a language fail?

Laughter is universal.

And since I feel this way about you and I'm about 96% sure I will never have lustful feelings toward you ... I'm placing you in The Party Boys. Congrats, buddy!

Yo-Yo is such a freaking cutie in this clip (with AJ) and in this clip (with Du Jun).

TKPA

I Don't Have a Problem With BEAST, I Have a Problem With Their Stylists

I really do like "Bad Girl." Seriously, I love it. And I'll hand to to BEAST that all of them have some sick choreography.

But I just cannot get over their appearance, in which I literally laugh slightly underneath my breath, shake my head, and think, "Really?"

Seriously, their stylist needs to be shot. It's so horrible. I don't get how some say that MBLAQ's style is awful (which it is), but then credit BEAST on theirs? Um ... Yo Seob was wearing a freaking beaded hat in the teaser video! How is that not heinous?

I have bones to pick with some of them. Like Jun Hyun. He's not a bad looking guy, I could one day see myself being attracted to him ... but what the HELL is with the hair?

The only idol that can get away with shaved patterns in his head is Park Jaebeom, and dear JH, you are not him. Plus, in the beginning for the MV of "Bad Girls," you totally look like a version of Master GD in "Gara Gara Go." And that is blasphemy as there can only be one GD. I don't blame you, though. Really I don't. I blame your moronic stylist for doing this to you.

I feel bad for you, Hyun Seung. Your haircut is similar to a 1960s go-go dancer. I swear all you need is a peace sign and flower painted on your damn cheek, some strobe lights, and vinyl platform boots and you would be an extra in an Austin Powers movie.

Again, it isn't your fault. It's your idiotic stylist. Because in some parts of the MV, your hair looks good. There's some product in it, making it a bit shaggy and uncleanly. It actually looks really good like that, but for ninety percent of the time, it does not. And the ninety percent is what actually counts, not the ten.

Yo-Yo ... I want your hair to be dark. I've said it a million times: Asians do not look good with platinum hair. And you're no Master GD, Yo-Yo. While you look like such a cute little kid and you have a great voice ... ugh, no. No blonde.

I'm sorry. It just is not working for me. I want to smack your evil stylist upside the damn head for ruining your hair follicles and damaging your beautiful, beautiful Asian hair. Please dye it back as soon as possible, boo!

I don't have any problems with Dong Woon. Zero. He's perfect, don't change a thing.

All I can say about you DW is THANK GOD YOU ARE EIGHTEEN! I feel less guilty/Mrs. Robinson now.

And I also really love my Back-up Boy, Du Jun, who looks so extraordinarily similar to Sex God. Give him a few more years to finely tune his smolder-stare. He's already done an excellent job by just existing. I wonder if he practices in the mirror.

I will not forget to mention/gush over AJ this time. He's so gorgeous and I really want his body, but The K-Pop Junkie laid claim to him and I allowed it. That's okay, I can still put him in Strictly a Dirty, Dirty Fantasy and it'll be allowed.

I know I'm being a little too hard on these boys. I do really like them and I can't wait to see what they do in the future. But I hate their stylists because I think they're trying too hard. You know what I do love about these boys, though? Their teeth. They're all perfect and so white and pearly. Just amazing!

Check out the MV for "Bad Girl." It's good, I love it. I just try not to pay attention to what the hell they're wearing.

Don't cry, Yo-Yo. I'll love you all entirely one day.

TKPA