The King of Foreplay has once again reigned over the weekend splendor posts. I'm not even going to write about this. You just enjoy the delicious eye candy and think about how those bulging veins lead to another bulge.
TKPA
10.23.2009
The Party Boy Daesung
I seriously crack into a huge smile every time I see Daesung. He’s so adorable; I just love him (in a platonic way).
He would be massively entertaining at a party or any social event. I can just see the whole room coming alive and buzzing with excitement once he made his appearance. His jokes and bubbly personality would have everyone in stitches as we all compete for his attention. Because everyone always gravitates towards the person having the most fun, and that person is Dae-Dae.
I can’t help but feel like Dae would not only be the life of the party, but whenever you’re bummed out about life and just need one person to make you smile, make you laugh, make you feel like everything is okay … he’d be the one to call on. Because with that bright, happy-go-lucky personality follows a really caring individual who would do anything to make you laugh and brighten your day.
So while he might be the life of the party, Dae-Dae is also the bright light of humor in your life.
I know I'm supposed to be writing dirty about the boys today ... but I just don't have the heart to taint Dae-Dae. He's too pure to even go there. (At least in the spotlight. Behind closed doors is another matter entirely).
TKPA
I'm Friends with Seungri ... Friends with Benefits
This completely surprised even me. I didn’t really know Seungri had it in him, that he was capable of provoking such dirty thoughts out of the filthy black hole in my mind.
Oh, but he did. Kudos, Ri-Ri.
Yes, you’re the adorable little maknae of the group who is constantly hyper and bouncing off of every freaking surface, driving everyone insane. Some might find you to be annoying, but not me. I’d probably be bouncing off those surfaces with you, buddy. At first, you were just going to be placed in The Party Boys, because I didn’t really feel any sexual lust toward you.
And then … well, I made the mistake of watching “Strong Baby.”
Yeah, you’re so in the Friends with Benefits category because holy shit did I want you so bad after watching that video. I have never seen you in a sexual light before, Ri-Ri. To say it was a “refreshing” change would be a complete understatement, for it was so speechless-sexy that I actually felt a little guilty for thinking of you in that way afterward.
Which is why you are the perfect FWB for me. Because our friendship is so close and we love spending time with each other, yet there is a very high amount of sexual tension between us when we go out for a friendly dinner. It takes an enormous amount of self-control on both parts to keep from flipping the table over and giving our fellow diners a show along with their meal. And then afterward, when we’re fully clothed and staring at each other awkwardly in an I-can’t-believe-we-just-did-that sort of way, we’ll swear that it was just a onetime thing and it’ll never happen again.
Until the next time we see each other, that is.
TKPA
Oh, but he did. Kudos, Ri-Ri.
Yes, you’re the adorable little maknae of the group who is constantly hyper and bouncing off of every freaking surface, driving everyone insane. Some might find you to be annoying, but not me. I’d probably be bouncing off those surfaces with you, buddy. At first, you were just going to be placed in The Party Boys, because I didn’t really feel any sexual lust toward you.
And then … well, I made the mistake of watching “Strong Baby.”
Hey, sexy!
Yeah, you’re so in the Friends with Benefits category because holy shit did I want you so bad after watching that video. I have never seen you in a sexual light before, Ri-Ri. To say it was a “refreshing” change would be a complete understatement, for it was so speechless-sexy that I actually felt a little guilty for thinking of you in that way afterward.
Which is why you are the perfect FWB for me. Because our friendship is so close and we love spending time with each other, yet there is a very high amount of sexual tension between us when we go out for a friendly dinner. It takes an enormous amount of self-control on both parts to keep from flipping the table over and giving our fellow diners a show along with their meal. And then afterward, when we’re fully clothed and staring at each other awkwardly in an I-can’t-believe-we-just-did-that sort of way, we’ll swear that it was just a onetime thing and it’ll never happen again.
Until the next time we see each other, that is.
TKPA
BIGBANG Captions Part I
Today is such an important day for me.
Not only is it finally BIGBANG Friday, but the blog is actually one month old today. Such a perverted little infant, no?
Yes, I will be blogging about BIGBANG all day. There are TONS of posts coming your way, all day long. And way, way, way, WAAAY later I will finally reveal who made the cut on the Baby-Daddy-To-Be List. C'mon, did you really think I was going to tell you first thing in the morning? Do you not know anything about me by now?
But to kick off today properly, I introduce BIGBANG's thoughts. I think they're rather accurate, don't you?
Master GD: I’m so fucking bored.
Sex God: Maybe if I give my best smolder-model-eyes Blue Steel look, we can be done with this.
King of Foreplay: How many inches of a shoe lift can I pull off? Two, maybe? I mean, my hair is like two inches already. Four inches? Wow … that’s like a giant.
Dae-Dae: Isn’t life wonderful? The birds are chirping, the flowers are blooming, couples holding hands in the street. What a glorious day it is! I love life! This world is so magical!
Seungri: HA HA!! I’M IN FRONT, BITCHES!! Okay, okay … be serious, be serious … WHOO!! I’M IN FRONT! I’M IN FRONT!
TKPA
Not only is it finally BIGBANG Friday, but the blog is actually one month old today. Such a perverted little infant, no?
Yes, I will be blogging about BIGBANG all day. There are TONS of posts coming your way, all day long. And way, way, way, WAAAY later I will finally reveal who made the cut on the Baby-Daddy-To-Be List. C'mon, did you really think I was going to tell you first thing in the morning? Do you not know anything about me by now?
But to kick off today properly, I introduce BIGBANG's thoughts. I think they're rather accurate, don't you?
Master GD: I’m so fucking bored.
Sex God: Maybe if I give my best smolder-model-eyes Blue Steel look, we can be done with this.
King of Foreplay: How many inches of a shoe lift can I pull off? Two, maybe? I mean, my hair is like two inches already. Four inches? Wow … that’s like a giant.
Dae-Dae: Isn’t life wonderful? The birds are chirping, the flowers are blooming, couples holding hands in the street. What a glorious day it is! I love life! This world is so magical!
Seungri: HA HA!! I’M IN FRONT, BITCHES!! Okay, okay … be serious, be serious … WHOO!! I’M IN FRONT! I’M IN FRONT!
TKPA
10.22.2009
I Don't Have a Problem With BEAST, I Have a Problem With Their Stylists
I really do like "Bad Girl." Seriously, I love it. And I'll hand to to BEAST that all of them have some sick choreography.
But I just cannot get over their appearance, in which I literally laugh slightly underneath my breath, shake my head, and think, "Really?"
Seriously, their stylist needs to be shot. It's so horrible. I don't get how some say that MBLAQ's style is awful (which it is), but then credit BEAST on theirs? Um ... Yo Seob was wearing a freaking beaded hat in the teaser video! How is that not heinous?
I have bones to pick with some of them. Like Jun Hyun. He's not a bad looking guy, I could one day see myself being attracted to him ... but what the HELL is with the hair?
The only idol that can get away with shaved patterns in his head is Park Jaebeom, and dear JH, you are not him. Plus, in the beginning for the MV of "Bad Girls," you totally look like a version of Master GD in "Gara Gara Go." And that is blasphemy as there can only be one GD. I don't blame you, though. Really I don't. I blame your moronic stylist for doing this to you.
I feel bad for you, Hyun Seung. Your haircut is similar to a 1960s go-go dancer. I swear all you need is a peace sign and flower painted on your damn cheek, some strobe lights, and vinyl platform boots and you would be an extra in an Austin Powers movie.
Again, it isn't your fault. It's your idiotic stylist. Because in some parts of the MV, your hair looks good. There's some product in it, making it a bit shaggy and uncleanly. It actually looks really good like that, but for ninety percent of the time, it does not. And the ninety percent is what actually counts, not the ten.
Yo-Yo ... I want your hair to be dark. I've said it a million times: Asians do not look good with platinum hair. And you're no Master GD, Yo-Yo. While you look like such a cute little kid and you have a great voice ... ugh, no. No blonde.
I'm sorry. It just is not working for me. I want to smack your evil stylist upside the damn head for ruining your hair follicles and damaging your beautiful, beautiful Asian hair. Please dye it back as soon as possible, boo!
I don't have any problems with Dong Woon. Zero. He's perfect, don't change a thing.
All I can say about you DW is THANK GOD YOU ARE EIGHTEEN! I feel less guilty/Mrs. Robinson now.
And I also really love my Back-up Boy, Du Jun, who looks so extraordinarily similar to Sex God. Give him a few more years to finely tune his smolder-stare. He's already done an excellent job by just existing. I wonder if he practices in the mirror.
I will not forget to mention/gush over AJ this time. He's so gorgeous and I really want his body, but The K-Pop Junkie laid claim to him and I allowed it. That's okay, I can still put him in Strictly a Dirty, Dirty Fantasy and it'll be allowed.
I know I'm being a little too hard on these boys. I do really like them and I can't wait to see what they do in the future. But I hate their stylists because I think they're trying too hard. You know what I do love about these boys, though? Their teeth. They're all perfect and so white and pearly. Just amazing!
Check out the MV for "Bad Girl." It's good, I love it. I just try not to pay attention to what the hell they're wearing.
Don't cry, Yo-Yo. I'll love you all entirely one day.
TKPA
But I just cannot get over their appearance, in which I literally laugh slightly underneath my breath, shake my head, and think, "Really?"
Seriously, their stylist needs to be shot. It's so horrible. I don't get how some say that MBLAQ's style is awful (which it is), but then credit BEAST on theirs? Um ... Yo Seob was wearing a freaking beaded hat in the teaser video! How is that not heinous?
I have bones to pick with some of them. Like Jun Hyun. He's not a bad looking guy, I could one day see myself being attracted to him ... but what the HELL is with the hair?
The only idol that can get away with shaved patterns in his head is Park Jaebeom, and dear JH, you are not him. Plus, in the beginning for the MV of "Bad Girls," you totally look like a version of Master GD in "Gara Gara Go." And that is blasphemy as there can only be one GD. I don't blame you, though. Really I don't. I blame your moronic stylist for doing this to you.
I feel bad for you, Hyun Seung. Your haircut is similar to a 1960s go-go dancer. I swear all you need is a peace sign and flower painted on your damn cheek, some strobe lights, and vinyl platform boots and you would be an extra in an Austin Powers movie.
Again, it isn't your fault. It's your idiotic stylist. Because in some parts of the MV, your hair looks good. There's some product in it, making it a bit shaggy and uncleanly. It actually looks really good like that, but for ninety percent of the time, it does not. And the ninety percent is what actually counts, not the ten.
Yo-Yo ... I want your hair to be dark. I've said it a million times: Asians do not look good with platinum hair. And you're no Master GD, Yo-Yo. While you look like such a cute little kid and you have a great voice ... ugh, no. No blonde.
I'm sorry. It just is not working for me. I want to smack your evil stylist upside the damn head for ruining your hair follicles and damaging your beautiful, beautiful Asian hair. Please dye it back as soon as possible, boo!
I don't have any problems with Dong Woon. Zero. He's perfect, don't change a thing.
All I can say about you DW is THANK GOD YOU ARE EIGHTEEN! I feel less guilty/Mrs. Robinson now.
And I also really love my Back-up Boy, Du Jun, who looks so extraordinarily similar to Sex God. Give him a few more years to finely tune his smolder-stare. He's already done an excellent job by just existing. I wonder if he practices in the mirror.
I will not forget to mention/gush over AJ this time. He's so gorgeous and I really want his body, but The K-Pop Junkie laid claim to him and I allowed it. That's okay, I can still put him in Strictly a Dirty, Dirty Fantasy and it'll be allowed.
I know I'm being a little too hard on these boys. I do really like them and I can't wait to see what they do in the future. But I hate their stylists because I think they're trying too hard. You know what I do love about these boys, though? Their teeth. They're all perfect and so white and pearly. Just amazing!
Check out the MV for "Bad Girl." It's good, I love it. I just try not to pay attention to what the hell they're wearing.
Don't cry, Yo-Yo. I'll love you all entirely one day.
TKPA
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