I missed out on news last night that Sex God has himself a new puppy. A cocker spaniel named Charlie, who is the cutest freaking puppy on the face of the Earth!
LOOK AT THIS FACE!
Just look at it!
It's like a different kind of ovary ache, the kind that makes you think that they're all paternal and loving and caring and it makes you wonder what they'd be like taking care of an actual human being. I would give my left kidney to see Sex God take care of Charlie.
To see him play with Charlie, to see him talk sweet to Charlie, to see him cuddle with Charlie, to see him kiss Charlie. Of course, right after that, I'd promptly hand him a bottle of mouth wash, a toothbrush, and some Listerine toothpaste and make him brush and gargle for ten minutes. Because that is actually very gross.
But you get the point. I want to see Sex God with this puppy. I need to see a picture of the two of them so I can faint and shortly thereafter die from the cuteness of it all. BECAUSE ONLY A DOG CAN MAKE SEX GOD CUTE.
No, no. I take that back.
ONLY CHARLIE CAN MAKE SEX GOD CUTE.
Sex God, baby, you need to get on the whole taking a picture of you and your son thing and post in online for all of us to see. And it will probably make us cry with want, but those are some damn good tears to shed and totally worth it, in my opinion.
I'm not expecting you to return to me 'til next week, boo. You had your TKPA time after your birthday. Two full days of it. So when you come over to my house next week, you better freaking bring Charlie with you. I just might cuddle with him and not you while sleeping.
Just kidding. We can spoon while I cuddle Charlie.
TKPA
