An Ode to BIGBANG

With their impending comeback date, I figured I would write a little poem to express how excited I am.

B to the I to the ...

Gee, I've seemed to have forgotten the rest.

You've been gone for so long,

It feels as if you've put your fans through one big test.

Our devotion to you is as solid and creepy as ever.

If you're wondering if our batshit crazy love has faded,

The answer is never.

Kwon Ji Yong,

It's been way too freaking long.

Your comeback has me excited but nervous too,

Because you like to piss me off when it comes to your hair.

Were those ridiculous curls a dare?
Please, let's just keep it normal for now,
And do not listen to any advice given by an evil cow.
Pay no mind to the uptight netizens,
For not showing off your sex is a mortal sin.

Your swagger, your talent, is far superior to the rest,

That's why having GD as the front man is the fucking best.

Dong Young Bae,
Your glistening, sweaty abs make my day.
I've been having an overdose of you as of late,
Something that has made fangirl life great.
You've thrown us all for a loop with your flirtatious side,
Making us speculate why it's something you no longer hide.
Could it be a new girlfriend in the picture?
If so, you should definitely ditch her.
Skankface doesn't deserve a man of your caliber,
And plus, your crazy fangirls will probably commit murder.
Come back in all your ab-filled glory,
And things on TKPA's blog might get a bit whorey.

Kang Daesung,
We want to bathe your new rippling abs with our tongue.
The recent picture with your mask on your face,
Has made us want to copy the keys to our place,
Mail them along with a plane ticket and a map,
So you better arrive fully decked out in gift wrap.
Your ability to generate laughs has been sorely missed,
Please come back soon or else we'll all be pissed!
We need some sex and laughter in our life,
And girls need to start claiming dibs on being your wife.
Your beautiful voice makes us swoon,
Say you'll be here to make us go insane soon.

Lee Seung-hyun,
Picking on you is so much fun.
Though I hated excluding you from BIGBANG Fridays on the blog,
If you had just shown us your abs, I would have been in a complete fog.
Can you promise us that your come back will include maknae flesh?
What better way to start off fresh!
Why some people forget you include you, I'll never know,
But just remember that they're nothing but a skankoid hoe.
Without you, BIGBANG would not be the same,
Not the same group we love, it'd be totally lame.

Choi Seung-hyun,
There really doesn't need to be,
A rhyming poem, you see.
Your sex appeal is international,
And you make us all act very irrational.
Your smoldering eyes, your deep gravelly voice,
We couldn't resist you if we had a choice!
A few lines of a poem doesn't find all the words to describe you,
So just come back and stare and we'll be re-devoted, boo.

TKPA