But that isn't stopping me from totally laughing my ass of at Jay Park's new mixtape he released via YouTube. It's amazing, if you haven't had the chance to listen to it. And by amazing, I mean hysterical.
I first listened to "BODY2BODY." It sounds like dubstep meets early 90's club music. I totally see greasy men in shiny suits a la Night at the Roxbury jamming out to this song. Naturally, if you were to play this in a night club, the beat alone would suffice. But it isn't just background music, which makes me sad.
The lyrics "I don't want to be a creep, but I want you tonight," ... dude, that right there is in fact creepy. Imagine a guy coming up to you at a club, ladies, and saying, "I don't want to be a creep, but I want you." Wouldn't you throw your drink in his face and call security?
"Now put your hands in the air if you're having a good time, say oooooooh." Um, what?
"If you wanna dance and drank," SERIOUSLY. DRANK??
Then I listened to "William Hung," which automatically had me rolling because of the title ... but then the tears started flowing at what happened next.
It was bad. It was so bad. So bad that my computer stopped playing it.
For real.
Awful.
It was as if after rhyming "viagra" with "Niagra" my computer said "Fuck this garbage," and gave up on it's technological life. But being the dedicated blogger I am, I had to sweet talk my computer into working again. It's like a bad car accident, you just have to look.
The most eloquent, thought provoking, poetic lyrics are below, guys. I mean, seriously ...
Ha if there's a fuck I don't give it, My life I live it
Champagne I drink it, No glass bottle clutched in my hand its finished
Middle finger to all of you hating on me on that bitch shit
This shit be a gun, It bangs it bangs
Your hair in the front, It bangs it bangs
Champagne I drink it, No glass bottle clutched in my hand its finished
Middle finger to all of you hating on me on that bitch shit
This shit be a gun, It bangs it bangs
Your hair in the front, It bangs it bangs
A gang on a slut, it bangs it bangs
This be William Hung cause it bangs it bangs
... just so deep.
"A gang on a slut," my how charming. Such a gentleman, ladies. Wow, all of you who become his groupies sure are lucky.
Just as an FYI ... if a man has any ounce of respect for a woman, he'd never refer to her as a slut. Not in personal life, not in the spotlight.
More poetry, you ask?
Fine chick just passed man im eyeing her twice
Third time and I’m making her my wife for tonight
So just sit back relax enjoy the show
As I spit raps and facts with the coldest flows
Yeah I’ll go refrigerator on yah
Half my face missing I’ll go terminator on yah
Donald trump cause I’m giving girls the business
I’mmah dog pound cause I’m getting all these bitches
Third time and I’m making her my wife for tonight
So just sit back relax enjoy the show
As I spit raps and facts with the coldest flows
Yeah I’ll go refrigerator on yah
Half my face missing I’ll go terminator on yah
Donald trump cause I’m giving girls the business
I’mmah dog pound cause I’m getting all these bitches
Once again, ladies so lucky. One of you will be his wife tonight. Probably the one with her boobs popping out the most. The slut next to her in the five inch stilettos, you'll be his wife tomorrow night. And he's getting all of you bitches so no need to argue over who goes first.
I wish I could take this seriously, but this is utter crap and if you think this is "good" music ... I'm sorry, I don't mean to ridicule you for your tastes, but this is nothing but a joke.
As I can't take more of this ... um, music ... I have to finish with "Be With Me 2Night." At first, I thought this was the least repulsive song from a woman's standpoint. Sure, the "girl you're different from these girls I've been sexin'," left a bad taste in my mouth, but the rest wasn't that bad.
Then came the rap. Are you ready for more romantic poetry from Jay, ladies? Some words as foreplay:
Lets say your my hobby cause I’ll do you with a passion
Girl what you pitching I’mmah hit it like a fast ball
Make you say my name exclamation point caps on
Dag gon only chick badder than Michael Jackson
Yup and I’ll fuck yah tatts off once in a life time girl you’ve earned the last spot
Hit that ass raw and I’mmah make you gasp huhhhhhhh
Yeah your embedded in my head so get embedded in my bed/
Young cat but I’mmah veteran of sex
Gonna bust that in the middle center of yah legs
Fuck rap better get ready for whats next
Girl what you pitching I’mmah hit it like a fast ball
Make you say my name exclamation point caps on
Dag gon only chick badder than Michael Jackson
Yup and I’ll fuck yah tatts off once in a life time girl you’ve earned the last spot
Hit that ass raw and I’mmah make you gasp huhhhhhhh
Yeah your embedded in my head so get embedded in my bed/
Young cat but I’mmah veteran of sex
Gonna bust that in the middle center of yah legs
Fuck rap better get ready for whats next
Done.
I'm curious. My opinion on this mixtape has been made quite evident, but I really want to know what you all think. Do you love it? Hate it? Think it's funny and that's the only reason you're listening to it?
Go to Jay's YouTube channel and listen to the songs. Also, this website has all of the lyrics, and if I'm not mistaken, I think Jay put this up himself, so they're accurate.
Leave your comments below!
Oh, and sorry to Jay if you read this. I know you put a lot of work into this and I respect that ... but dude ... saying you'll fuck the tattoos off a girl is not in the least bit sexy. Women don't find that shit sexy.
TKPA
